Is my hubby wrecking my gym efforts?

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  • lizziebeth1028
    lizziebeth1028 Posts: 3,602 Member
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    Lol....well that escalated quickly (insert picture of Anchorman if I knew how). We are either getting a hugely one sided trumped up version of the OP take on things. OR...hubby is a complete d*ck.

    Bottom line going to the gym 3 nights a week shouldn't be a problem....also keeping your gym time under 2 hours shouldn't be a problem. Geeeeshhhh drama much!
  • UKMarjie
    UKMarjie Posts: 257 Member
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    My in-law's are paid rent and for child care- we also help them with their bills

    Speaking of peaches - that is a peach of a deal for them! Well it is at least fairer than most people get.

    I think talking to him and telling him that it is just a temporary thing again and then insisting that you do it and working with your boss to get someone else in is fair. Asking you to get up after 4 hours of sleep is not. I am guessing that a LOT of stress is coming from the build and that some of the unreasonable aspect of things stems from this too. Sounds like you are both burning the candle at both ends.
  • cuterbee
    cuterbee Posts: 545
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    Maybe you could compromise with two days with the trainer and one day on your own (say with treadmill or whatever).

    It sounds like you guys spend plenty of time working together on the house (and I am impressed with all you've done! Yikes!), and your kids are being taken care of. Your work situation should smooth out eventually when you get a new person.

    I don't really see why your husband has a problem with it.
  • DrMim1
    DrMim1 Posts: 2
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    Oh for goodness sake, it's only 3 days a week. If I were you I would nicely tell him to deal with it.

    Or you could find some other form of exercise, like a DVD, that you could do at home. But I bet he would want you to stop that too.

    Totes on this one (to quote my teenagers) - I totally agree. This is not unreasonable, the husband has a lot of help with the kids (they are living with a set of Grandparents for goodness sake). He needs to put his big boy pants on and suck it up...
  • Seriousmom3
    Seriousmom3 Posts: 164
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    UPDATE

    I made one last attempt at the gym this evening. Ran in and did just the weight machines. Cut out the 30 minute cool down on the stationary bike and got done in 45 minutes. This being my 4th visit, I think I just needed some time to get use to things. On the way out, got called back to work for surgery, still made it home late, but everyone seemed pleased.
  • daylily2005
    daylily2005 Posts: 203 Member
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    This was a laugh. No one on this thread is going to be able to give you insight into your husband and his comments/thoughts/feelings/rationale.

    I'm not married. Never have been. Live by myself, march to the beat of my own drum, etc. However, I see both sides of this.

    Who knows WHY he doesn't want you to be out til 7 three nights a week. Maybe he just misses you and doesn't want to say that. Maybe he's jealous. Maybe he's insecure. Maybe he's resentful. Whatever the reason, if he won't flat out tell you, don't make any assumptions. Just take it for what it is and try to find a compromise! I assume you want your marriage to last for many years down the road, and if this is SUCH a big hang up, I can only imagine the problems you're going to face in the future.

    You're a woman. I'm a woman. I learned a long time ago that the more I try to understand and give meaning to something a significant other says, the more likely I am to get it completely wrong, overreact, work myself up over nothing, and cause tension. He voiced his opinion. Find a compromise. Maybe go 2x a week for 90 minutes. Maybe go one day in the morning and one in the evening. There are TONS of alternatives. Don't get on a high horse and think that it's all about you. It is, and at the same time it isn't. Your in-laws are helping you out. You're paying them (awesome, btw). But everything isn't always straight forward. Just because someone is being paid doesn't mean that they can't start to get resentful (um, hello, that's like 1/2 of my job). Maybe his family has made a comment to him and he's trying to pass along that info to you without making a big deal? Who knows. We don't control all our circumstances, we can only try to navigate them.

    Figure out a compromise. See how it works. Love your family. That's all you can do.

    ETA: That first line sounds rude of me. I don't mean it in a rude way. I was just honestly chuckling the entire way through. :)

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