The boyfriend that doesn't "get" it.

Have you tried telling him how you feel? Told my girl when I miss a workout I get depressed. Or when I eat foods that sets me back I get depressed. After the little talk, 110% supportive

Sounds like it is time for a good heart to heart conversation. Have you tried recruiting him to help you? Tell him you feel alone and you would like him to support you. Explain to him what you need from him, but be realistic to his position. You two are obviously not in the same place yet. You don't need to be. He needs to understand where you are coming from and you need to accept where he is at. Two months ago, I was on my own with my fitness journey. Tonight, DH and I ended my workout with a 15 minute walk around the track. It is baby steps, but it is forward progress. Hopefully, you two will experience that as well.

Stop cooking for him and if you do the shopping don't buy junk food. Tell him if he wants it he needs to get off his *kitten* and go get it

We have to keep chips, processed food, frozen chicken nuggets and pizza rolls, and soda in the house. HAVE TO.
"Let's go for a walk with the dog!" I say. "No, I don't want to. I'm too tired/lazy/unmotivated/my shoes are off"
Cooking is beyond his comprehension. I suggest that maybe he cook a meal or two... "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK!"
Trying anything new is a no-go. "I DON'T TRUST IT!"

I'm sorry but did you say this was your boyfriend or your child?

This is your journey. Not his. It is unfair to make him change his life. All you can do is set an example and maybe over time he'll say "hey I'd like to come walk the dog with you today!". I'm married and I make 2 different meals every night, I usually cook the same veg for both of us but usually different meat and sometimes I'll have a second type of veg while he has rice. I make extra of everything so that the next night I can just reheat it so although it takes a bit longer the first night, the second night is just leftovers. And I know I want this, so I'm not overly tempted by the junk food he wants in the house, if I eat it, I log it and move on (like others have said) because this is my LIFE not my diet

Also I will never assume that my husband will do anything active with me. He played football all through school and after that said he just didn't want to do anything athletic anymore. I still ask him if he wants to come for a walk but I never get upset if he says no and I never let it stop ME from going anyways. I just listen to a podcast and do my thing. The thing that he has had to change is that I go to the gym after work so he doesn't get dinner until 7:30-8, but since he doesn't cook (and therefore won't start dinner) he kinda had to be ok with it.

You have to make sure you are ok with having this be your own journey, because it irritates you that it's also not his, then that could really become a problem.

This sounds more like relationship problems than diet and fitness sabotage

People don't lose weight for the same reason we keep significant others around who mistreat us. Now I am NOT saying your boyfriend is mistreating you, what I am saying is that we tend to keep a hold of things that are familiar. It is much easier to be overweight and unhealthy than it is to be fit. It is also easier to make excuses for our significant others behavior because "I love him and he really loves me too".

Read what you originally typed,
"We have to keep chips, processed food, frozen chicken nuggets and pizza rolls, and soda in the house. HAVE TO.
"Let's go for a walk with the dog!" I say. "No, I don't want to. I'm too tired/lazy/unmotivated/my shoes are off"
Cooking is beyond his comprehension. I suggest that maybe he cook a meal or two... "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO
COOK!"
Trying anything new is a no-go. "I DON'T TRUST IT!"

Look, this fitness journey is more enjoyable and easier if shared with a like minded individual. Sounds as if he is never going to "get it", so you will have to either do this on your own or make changes in your life. My guess, if you start on this journey and you start spending a lot of time at the gym, running or whatever, he is going to get upset and start the "you spend all your time at the gym and not with me" (if he hasn't already). Oh by the way, that is called SABOTAGING your fitness goals and yes, he is doing it on purpose. It is your life, YOU are the only one who gets to choose how you live it! God Bless and good luck reaching and surpassing all of your fitness goals.

Leave him out of it until he expresses interest. Do things without him. Find someone else to walk the dog with you. Stock up on some healthy snacks and put his snacks on the highest shelf (I'm shortish, so it works for me). Learn to cook some quick simple meals that fit into your plan. Make enough to last several days and reheat if you find yourself pressed for time.

Eventually, he will come to "get" it if he wants to stick around.

I love him. I really do. He's a great guy most of the time.

But I know for a fact that he's sabotaging my efforts. Not intentionally, I don't think... but I'm at my wits end trying to "talk to him" about it.

I hate feeling alone in this journey... and I know I could do so much better if he would just be a tad more supportive.

We have to keep chips, processed food, frozen chicken nuggets and pizza rolls, and soda in the house. HAVE TO.
"Let's go for a walk with the dog!" I say. "No, I don't want to. I'm too tired/lazy/unmotivated/my shoes are off"
Cooking is beyond his comprehension. I suggest that maybe he cook a meal or two... "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK!"
Trying anything new is a no-go. "I DON'T TRUST IT!"

I can't see myself breaking up with him over this (so you can keep your "dump him" comments to yourself), but any advice for maybe getting him to really realize that he's really making me work extra hard for something that's hard enough as it is!? I even tried the "I'm going out and doing something active with a friend" and he simply doesn't get it

I am lucky, because my boyfriend and I met through MFP, so we are both on the same page about having a healthy lifestyle (although we can both be super lazy too).

Here is the thing. Your boyfriend's lifestyle is his choice. Your lifestyle is yours. Since you seem to be on very different pages on this, you will need to compromise. Meet him halfway. Don't expect him to adopt your lifestyle.

He wants to have junk food in the house. Okay, That's his right. Maybe there is junk food he likes that you don't like (as much), so he could buy more of that. Maybe he could try and keep smaller portions and rebuy more frequently. Maybe he could keep it in a place that isn't as easy to reach/get to for you. Maybe this is the opportunity for you to exercise your willpower and just say no. I know it's hard but I also know it can be done.

If he doesn't want to go for a walk with you, go by yourself or ask a friend to go with you. Don't let him stop you. If he can't be bothered, just do it anyway.

If he doesn't know how to cook, cook something together instead of expecting him to cook for you. Show him how to cook some healthy meals that you enjoy. Maybe he likes using the BBQ, maybe that is something he could cook for you, a grilled steak and some grilled veggies are super healthy. If he is one of those people who seem to have an aversion to "healthy food", make it more appealing to him by adding things he likes or "healthyfying" unhealthy food.

I know you seem to think he is trying to sabotage you, but chances are he simply wants to maintain the lifestyle he's used to, it's nothing to do with you. I do think that if he loves you and you love him, you can both make an effort to make things a little easer on each other. Compromise.

I recently had these issues with my husband. He always wants pizza/fast food/soda/crap while I'm trying to cook and be healthy and motivated and workout. If I want to go for a walk, I take the dog by myself in the morning while he's working. If he doesn't want to eat what I'm making...tough...he can cook for himself. He didn't get it and we fought no matter how I tried to explain it to him. Finally, his boss explained it to him in terms of computers. I have no clue what he said, but suddenly my husband came home and "got" it. He won't change his diet, which is fine, but he is trying not to bring junk around me and if he brings it home, he keeps it in his desk by his computer in a room I never enter. He also tries to not bring up eating fast food, though it is something we're still working on.

Either let him be lazy and improve yourself or wait until he hops on board. I promise, you won't regret doing it for you, even if it means he doesn't join you.

It's not fair to expect our SO's to change just because we are making changes. When I started my weight loss journey, I was the only one in my household trying to lose weight. No one was obligated to make changes just because I was.
Yeah, it's wonderful when they are supportive and do all kinds of things to help out, and make changes with us, but the fact is you fell in love with him "as is."

He is your boyfriend not your husband. You do your thing and let him do his. If he is not bugging you about your choices then i would suggest not bugging him about his.

I don't live with my boyfriend but we see each other a lot. He understands that I would find it difficult to go into McDonald's and watch him eat a Big Mac meal but if he wants to eat it, he's not going to NOT eat it, just because I'm trying to lose weight.

As someone said before, he's your boyfriend, let him do his thing. If he wants to eat ****, let him. Don't let his choices affect yours.

I don't expect him to sit and eat a bowl of spinach for lunch with me, and likewise, I understand if he wants to eat two portions of rice and chicken plus ice cream for dessert along with a hot chocolate after... while I'll only have a small portion of dinner with a side salad and a glass of water lol. Really, it makes me feel stronger and better about myself knowing that I can resist these tempting foods, and he thinks it's great too!

Edited to add - just because your partner doesn't choose to work out 5 times a week and log everything they put in their mouth doesn't mean they're not supportive, UNLESS you start to feel like they're not. It kinda feels like the OP's boyfriend isn't sabotaging her on purpose, but he is definitely not being as supportive as he could be.

I love him. I really do. He's a great guy most of the time.

But I know for a fact that he's sabotaging my efforts. Not intentionally, I don't think... but I'm at my wits end trying to "talk to him" about it.

I hate feeling alone in this journey... and I know I could do so much better if he would just be a tad more supportive.

We have to keep chips, processed food, frozen chicken nuggets and pizza rolls, and soda in the house. HAVE TO.
"Let's go for a walk with the dog!" I say. "No, I don't want to. I'm too tired/lazy/unmotivated/my shoes are off"
Cooking is beyond his comprehension. I suggest that maybe he cook a meal or two... "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO COOK!"
Trying anything new is a no-go. "I DON'T TRUST IT!"

I can't see myself breaking up with him over this (so you can keep your "dump him" comments to yourself), but any advice for maybe getting him to really realize that he's really making me work extra hard for something that's hard enough as it is!? I even tried the "I'm going out and doing something active with a friend" and he simply doesn't get it

Don't eat the foods you don't want to eat. My wife and I both have certain foods that one likes that the other doesn't. Also, if he doesn't want to go with you to walk the dog, go walk the dog yourself.

Honestly, it just sounds like you're using him to give yourself excuses.

This....

My wife is not dieting. We both eat differently. She has her Paradise cookies that she freezes, then eats daily. I have my protein shakes. If I make food my wife likes, she will eat it. If not, I freeze it, and use it for work meals. If my wife makes something that I can fit in my calorie range, that I like, I will eat it.

I go to the gym by myself, and do my workouts. I try to have my workouts done by the time she gets home from work because I do like to spend time with her. My success is all up to me, just like yours is up to you. You have to have the will power to keep doing your thing, and if they want to eat better, or exercise.... Great. If not, don't worry about it. You need to do it for yourself... Not them.

Show him this thread.

^like