Absolutely livid at husband!

I think you, and most of the posters in the thread, are over reacting.

This is not 'emotional abuse'

This. Abusive? Jealous? It was a comment about crisps. She could try conversation.

Carry on, you make the choices in your life.

^^ This. Seriously, it was a lack of tact.

Now, if he had snatched the crisps away and had proceeded to flog her with a bag of crisps, that would be a different story.

A good flogging every once in while isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I will admit I haven't read all the other posts, but here's my 2 cents…

If this is just a "diet" then ultimately it will end, and chances are things go back to before (including weight gain).

If this is a lifestyle change, then you are setting yourself up for a future of healthy weight, exercise, and food choices. [NOTE: the idea is far more important than the word choice!]

You need to decide which this is for you. I suggest making it a permanent lifestyle change. And for most people, that means including treats from time to time, but overall making sure that most of your food choices fit into your calorie and macro goals.

Then, tell him that this isn't a diet, you are changing your eating habits. Tell him that you ARE tracking what you eat, and that it DOES fit in your daily goals. Tell him that YOU are in control, and that you can eat what you chose without him making snide comments. If he really is trying to help, he should back off when you tell him that you are keeping track and it's okay and in your calories. If he's trying to bully you, standing up for yourself and your right to chose should make him back off. Either way, you know that you are taking control, and that your decisions are based on your goals and what you know is in your food log, not on anything someone else says.

I started MFP on the 7th January and things have been going really well. Apart from a few hiccups have stuck to diet for over 12 days now and have lost 3lb.

I take medication at night which causes a massive increase in appetite-this is the reason I gained weight in the first place. What I have been doing is having 200 cals for breakfast and lunch and then eating in the evening to use up the rest of my allowance as otherwise I cannot sleep due to hunger.

Did brilliant yesterday and saved up 700 cals for the evening, but when I reached for a bag of low cal crisps my husband started "well this is a useless diet,.....you cannot be THAT hungry...I thought you wanted to lose weight".

I decided to leave the crisps and have spent all last night awake and hungry.

This morning I have been in tears and have told husband I might as well quit diet as he is using it to bully me.

Last time I was on a successful diet I ended that too because of my husband as he made a big issue out of eating 5 tic tic sweets.

Just really upset and angry now. He insists he is not bullying me and is "just trying to help".

Try not to get upset over this. Instead, talk to you husband and explain what you are doing with calorie counting and how this has worked for you so far (3 lbs in 12 days). If you cannot do this, there are other issues you (and he) need to work out.

It also sounds like you want to make him your excuse for failure. Or you have a lack of confidence. If it's working (like you said the last diet was successful), then you have support as to what you are doing is fine, and whatever he said shouldn't bother you.

I started MFP on the 7th January and things have been going really well. Apart from a few hiccups have stuck to diet for over 12 days now and have lost 3lb.

I take medication at night which causes a massive increase in appetite-this is the reason I gained weight in the first place. What I have been doing is having 200 cals for breakfast and lunch and then eating in the evening to use up the rest of my allowance as otherwise I cannot sleep due to hunger.

Did brilliant yesterday and saved up 700 cals for the evening, but when I reached for a bag of low cal crisps my husband started "well this is a useless diet,.....you cannot be THAT hungry...I thought you wanted to lose weight".

I decided to leave the crisps and have spent all last night awake and hungry.

This morning I have been in tears and have told husband I might as well quit diet as he is using it to bully me.

Last time I was on a successful diet I ended that too because of my husband as he made a big issue out of eating 5 tic tic sweets.

Just really upset and angry now. He insists he is not bullying me and is "just trying to help".

First of all I think you should have a chat with him because he obviously thinks he's helping when he's hurting.


Secondarily:

Your husband obviously has no F'ing clue that total calorie and nutrient intake are the driving factors for weight loss, not the individual food sources taken in isolation. A bag of crisps by itself does not cause fat gain or inhibit fat loss. What causes fat gain or blunts fat loss is a diet containing too many calories. He needs to get a clue about this because right now it's apparent he has none, and you can go ahead and print this and show it to him.

So unless he's monitoring your entire diet as a whole, and he knows what you've got left for calorie intake for the day, then he really can't say whether or not any food choice you make is good or bad and he's talking out of his *kitten*. This is obviously secondary to your feelings but I'm mentioning it in the hopes that it alleviates some guilt you might feel for eating some tic tacs or some crisps here and there.

I will admit I haven't read all the other posts, but here's my 2 cents…

If this is just a "diet" then ultimately it will end, and chances are things go back to before (including weight gain).

If this is a lifestyle change, then you are setting yourself up for a future of healthy weight, exercise, and food choices. [NOTE: the idea is far more important than the word choice!]

You need to decide which this is for you. I suggest making it a permanent lifestyle change. And for most people, that means including treats from time to time, but overall making sure that most of your food choices fit into your calorie and macro goals.

Then, tell him that this isn't a diet, you are changing your eating habits. Tell him that you ARE tracking what you eat, and that it DOES fit in your daily goals. Tell him that YOU are in control, and that you can eat what you chose without him making snide comments. If he really is trying to help, he should back off when you tell him that you are keeping track and it's okay and in your calories. If he's trying to bully you, standing up for yourself and your right to chose should make him back off. Either way, you know that you are taking control, and that your decisions are based on your goals and what you know is in your food log, not on anything someone else says.

Great advice. Also, make clear how the medication effects your appetite and explain that on days you exercise more you need to consume those extra calories.

Its all about maintaining a deficit. Explain the way it works.

By the way, how over weight is your husband?

Than aslo, do this.."I know what I can eat and how much I can eat. Stay out of it."

When people question what I'm eating, I ask them, "So how many calories have I eaten so far today and what is my calorie goal?"

^ ^ ^ THIS.

I bet that would shut quite a few people up.

If he's your husband then you've probably known him for a while and should know what his personality is like. If you know his personality and are still with him then you must be ok with it.

We cannot look for faults in others to use as an excuse to indulge our own weaknesses. Don't use this as a silly excuse to quit. You could have easily just explained to him that you saved calories for the evening so that you can eat before bed, instead you want to suffer one night and fail rather than work and succeed.

Surely you're better than this!

Great answer Huzke!