Absolutely livid at husband!

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  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    As hard as it will be, you have to make this about YOUR lifestyle. There will always be family and friends who will try to sabatoge us or we will feel as though they are - even when they're not. So...what do you do?

    Number 1 - Read the road map link that was posted earlier. Figure out how many cals you need to eat to lose fat.

    Number 2 - Understand that you can continue to eat most foods (if not all) in moderation. There is no reason you should not be going out to eat and making good choices there. You sound like you are planning your cals for the day (good job) and so you should be able to work anything into the mix. Families often get a little peeved if you make this all about the "I can't do this anymore" and "I can't eat that anymore" and they then feel like they are being punished because of you. Someday you will want to eat like a normal person again without gaining the weight back. Start now learning how to eat portions like a normal person.

    Number 3 - Relationships have their problems. Better we don't judge your situation from afar. You are living there. You know how you feel. Don't let nuts on the forums tell you what to do. (Not that you would listen, but still).

    Good luck.
  • SopranogirlCa
    SopranogirlCa Posts: 188 Member
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    Thank him for being so supportive, and then change his sugar for laxative...

    Brilliant and evil...I love it.
  • Gerald_King
    Gerald_King Posts: 2,031 Member
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    Good morning (where I am)! One of my cardinal rules as a husband is 'don't talk about diet'. No win situation. :happy: Perhaps explain to him why this is so difficult for you, but why this is so important to you, and what sort of support you would like from him. (After your fury passes!) I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you - - we guys are just, well, sort of stupid :flowerforyou:

    As to your hunger. Do I understand that you have a 200 calorie breakfast, and a 200 calorie lunch, and a 700 calorie dinner? That counts up to only 1100 calories which is dangerously low. I'm not surprised you're so hungry! Losing weight cannot be accomplished by simply drastically cutting back your calories like that.

    I know you're venting and looking for support right now, but I think if you could take the time to go read this: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    That diet is simple, guaranteed to work, not painful and unpleasant like it sounds like your current diet might be, and various forms of that diet are what most of the success stories on this website come from.


    I'm doing this too it really works I lost 3lbs this week
  • treehopper1987
    treehopper1987 Posts: 505 Member
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    Does he know how you feel about his comments? I would let him know that it upsets you. My hubby can be insensitive at times and doesn't realize how it makes me feel until I point it out to him. Guys tend to not be able to tune into women's emotions very easily.

    Also, as some others have said prove him wrong. I know I have started diets several times, and then after my hubby sees my results and motivation, he is more apt to join my healthier eating and exercise. Good luck, and feel free to add me if you need the extra motivation! :smile:
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    Hit him over the head with a frying pan... eat the crisps and leave the bag on him so he knows when he wakes up.
  • Royalsbatwench
    Royalsbatwench Posts: 117 Member
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    Men can be fools.

    YOUR man can be a fool. Where do you know me from?

    Right?
    Not all men are like this. My husband wouldn't dare say anything about this. He'll say "can you have this? What about this? Can we go here?" he doesn't want to sabotage my efforts but he knows that I can arrange my day for special meals or splurges.

    I think you just need to simply say "this is my diet. It is for one person. Your input discourages me and I just need you to love me and not discuss my efforts."
    Good luck, and if that doesn't work as pp said, prove him wrong.
  • MelStrey
    MelStrey Posts: 60
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    That is way abusive. It sounds to me like your husband doesn't want you to succeed. Maybe he is insecure with himself and such behavior needs to be addressed.
  • woodsygirl
    woodsygirl Posts: 354 Member
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    Why are you punishing yourself for something someone else said? If someone (family or whatever) says something hurtful, don't just close down and punish yourself over it. If they make you mad, you say "That hurt my feelings" or "You make me feel bad for eating, and that is hurting me" or whatever else you are feeling RIGHT then. Get it out, say how you feel, let him know when he's making mistakes or he'll never realize it at the time.

    You are the only person who can let yourself feel a certain way, you can be mad at him or let him ruin your night or just come out and get it off your chest. I know there are nice ways to tell someone these things (me, I prefer to tell someone where to go though.. hah... but then I'm a bit outspoken that way..).
  • amcx2mommy
    amcx2mommy Posts: 2
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    Regardless of some of the negative posts that have been wrtiten the best thing you can do is sit your husband down and explain what you need him to do to be supportive that it is a struggle and that your doing the best you can do considering the side affects of your medicine. If that doesnt work a letter always works on my husband :) If that STILL doesnt work then just do your thing girl and ignore him. Tell him you are doing everything right by counting your calories so just leave you alone. Good luck ok and hang in there :)
  • aseymour13
    aseymour13 Posts: 768 Member
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    Prove him wrong. This is for you. Stay strong. None of us understand or know your situation but you have to do what is best and right for you. In the long run it will make you stronger and hopefully make the relationship better. I'm very lucky to have a supportive spouse but I have also (once upon a time) been in a similar situation. He either needs to support you and be there for you or stay quiet
  • knrenner4
    knrenner4 Posts: 2
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    I know your feeling...my husband used to do the same thing. Now after seeing the various struggles I have gone through and then being diagnosed with a condition in which weight loss is a must along with eating better to prevent other diseases. I had to get serious with him though and explain everything and how he hurt me. Although I have to say this is just one of the many road blocks that will be on your route to your goal. Stick to your guns...and show him you are going to do it for YOU. Keep up the hard work and don't let him detour you! YOU GOT THIS!!! :wink:
  • Dianak005
    Dianak005 Posts: 48 Member
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    I once asked my husband to help me by stoping me when I am going to eat something I shoud'nt. BIG MITAKE! At first it was ok but then everytime I would get ready to eat something. He would say are you sure you want that or are you sure you need to eat that. I would then either get upset and not eat the rest of the day or pig out. I finally got to the point where I had to say let me just do this for me and make my choices. I really think some men dont realize how their words effect woman. Especially if they have low self-esteem already. My husband was really trying to help but it drove me crazy. I hope that you can explain to your husband how it makes you feel and that he will understand.
  • rosiecbolton
    rosiecbolton Posts: 85 Member
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    Thank you for all the lovely messages. I genuinely believe my husband was trying to help me but he has limited communication skills and so often puts his foot in it. He has been very apologetic today and BOUGHT ME 2 CREME EGGS AS A PEACE OFFERING! (He tries his best but always gets things wrong-a peace offering of chocolate is probably not the most appropriate gift!)
    Other than the 2 creme eggs I have stuck to the diet today and have 400 cals left. I have a pasta bake for tea and then some apples as treats so hopefully should do it. Also walked the dogs today so think I may get some more allowance for this.
    He has now promised to be more supportive.
  • orchidsand
    orchidsand Posts: 65
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    Does your husband support you in endeavors other than dieting? Ask if he will support you by suggesting and helping you make healthy food choices vs getting on your case. If he does not support you in other areas of your life, then that is an issue that must be dealt with and it may require counciling.
    BTW-- Saving calories for the end of the day is not a goo way to go. It is healthier to balance them out. Can you possibily take that medication in the morning vs the evening? I know some times I am hungry at night so I find that warm tea with a bit of soy milk takes the edge off the hunger.

    Good luck sweety!!!
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
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    I wouldn't explain *kitten*, just don't have sex with for a very long time.
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
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    Hit him over the head with a frying pan... eat the crisps and leave the bag on him so he knows when he wakes up.

    bahahaha!!! Love this response.
  • rosiecbolton
    rosiecbolton Posts: 85 Member
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    Unfortunately the medication has to be taken at night as it is very sedating.

    I run a business and my husband has been massively supportive in this. I have pretty low self esteem and it has been his "you can do it" attitude that has got me though year one and I now am getting a salary out of it.

    One of my biggest problems is emotional eating. I am very emotionally sensitive and get mood swings when people upset me. This is when I pig out.

    I also think my husband is a bit insecure due to his disability (he is blind) and perhaps does not want me to lose weight and gain more confidence.
  • chervil6
    chervil6 Posts: 236 Member
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    you need to stop crying and tell him to either treat you with resepect or bugger off ...... and why do u let him bully ????
  • PaulFields56
    PaulFields56 Posts: 108 Member
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    I'm sorry your husband wasn't more sensitive. It sounds like you have a good plan based on your unique situation. Stick to it. It's hard for someone else to empathize with what you feel--or how hungry you are, so you are the only one who can be a judge of what works for you. As others have posted, concentrate on staying within your calorie goal. Peace.
  • CherokeeBabe
    CherokeeBabe Posts: 1,704 Member
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    Hit him over the head with a frying pan... eat the crisps and leave the bag on him so he knows when he wakes up.

    tangled_____frying_pan_by_disgrace_angel369-d398z19_large.jpg

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