Feeling Insecure at the Gym

fara180
fara180 Posts: 1,260 Member
in Motivation and Support
I went to the gym the other day, for the first time in my entire life, with the mindset of getting fit and healthy. With almost 100 lbs to lose to get in a healthy BMI, I'm a pretty big girl. But when I got to the gym, I felt super self conscious! There were literally NO overweight people in there...everyone had a body like a God and were easing through their workouts. They gave me weird looks and I became super self aware of my every movement. I felt like everyone was looking at my red, sweaty face, listening to me being out of breath.

So today, I went out and bought some nice work out clothes and a sportsbra (desperately needed) in the hopes that looking more like a gym rat will help me feel like I fit in.

Any tips on feeling more comfortable while trying to work out around others?

*P.S. I can't change gyms at the moment, I have a free membership to this gym and cannot afford a different one.
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Replies

  • Graelwyn75
    Graelwyn75 Posts: 4,404 Member
    Just focus on yourself, forget everyone else in the gym, remember why you are there, and that it is highly likely that at least a few of them were once where you are now.
  • ubermensch13
    ubermensch13 Posts: 824 Member
    One, I'd love to know where you live because I'd love to hit up a gym that many perfect people. I've been going to gyms for 10 years, in multiple countries, and I've never seen a gym that hasen't had normal or overweight people in them doing their best to get in shape. Most of us "fit" people, don't really care who else is in there, just that they aren't screwing around or bothering us. Just go, don't worry about it and push on.
  • bearwith
    bearwith Posts: 525 Member
    well done for going to the gym. Nobody will be judging you. Just get some nice gear and go and enjoy yourself. Remind yourself that every session at the gym increases your life expectancy - who cares what anybody thinks.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    My gym is always packed, but I've found that when I think about something completely unrelated to my health, such as a good grade my daughter got, or that I am going to be going to see my family over the weekend, basically anything at all, that I get through my workout and the people in the gym disappear.

    I was so self-conscious when I first started going. There are still tons of people way more fit than I am, but it gets better and easier every time I go.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    Here's something to make you feel better. Most gym attendees are self absorbed in their own workouts and probably won't notice you.
  • Danni1585
    Danni1585 Posts: 250 Member
    I haven't got the confidence for the gym yet but I do go swimming, it's the one form of exercise I can do. I m at least 50 lbs overweight and very self conscious. My legs are all cellulite, and I hate being uncovered. BUT I am holding up my head, and I literally now do NOTCARE, I get some stares, so what?? I am (thanks to MFP) motivated and doing great. I don't love walking out of the changing room, but I swear I think of my friends on this site and just get on and do my exercise. It's great. Head up high, shoulders back and get in there with our love and support. Xxxx
  • MissJanet55
    MissJanet55 Posts: 457 Member
    The only thing that makes people qualified to go to a gym is paying the membership, and you are paying for your membership like everybody else.

    My ipod really helps me drown out what is going on around me, and it is loaded with music that makes me feel good no matter what comes up. And you might feel a little more comfortable getting a trainer to show you how to use the machines and the free weights or weight machines.

    Don't forget that it's YOUR gym, too, so go and enjoy your workouts.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Just focus on yourself, forget everyone else in the gym, remember why you are there, and that it is highly likely that at least a few of them were once where you are now.

    ^^ This. Ignore them. Focus on you. Now just go kill it!
  • healthywtb
    healthywtb Posts: 80 Member
    Ignore everyone else and focus on yourself. That is what most of the other people are doing too.
  • JonathonMars
    JonathonMars Posts: 358 Member
    Maybe...laugh at yourself? Over the summer, I ran in the park for the first time in my life, and I just thought of the whole thing as a big joke.
  • 2hobbit1
    2hobbit1 Posts: 820 Member
    While they may look buff to you everyone at the gym started out where you are at one time!

    Do not focus on what they have achieved other than to give yourself an idea as to what you can do in the long term.

    Check in with the gyms trainer - get your program set up - get your instruction on the equipment so your comfortable using stuff.

    Check out strength training programs - go in with the plan and have them show you how to do it.

    We were all newbies some where some time! You can do this!
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    Most gyms will offer an orientation to new members, which might help you to feel more comfortable about getting in and getting started. Or, if you can afford it, getting set up with a trainer so you know your plan when you go in would be super helpful. Then you can just go do what you have to do without that awkward looking-around-trying-to-figure-out-where-to-go-next look.

    But yeah, most people are super self-absorbed in a gym :laugh:
  • mylifesjourney
    mylifesjourney Posts: 23 Member
    I am a big girl needing to lose over 100 pounds also. When I initially started going the gym I felt the same way. What I do now is listen to my Ipod like I am the only one there. I don't notice anyone anymore.Try that, it works wonders!:wink:
  • orangelobster
    orangelobster Posts: 151
    Whenever I see a "big" person at a gym, male or female, (and there are plenty) I always have major respect for them, since I know how hard that can be. Without a doubt they are the bravest in the place.

    If I see them there often, then I know they are the strongest, toughest most focused, most dedicated person in the place.

    So there!

    (ps: they probably are not looking at you as much as you think they are. Observe, they may be giving everyone a glance who walks through he door. additionally, a good percentage of those "perfect bodies" were likely to be overweight at some point and were in the same boat you are.

    Do not let this cause you to deviate from your goals. You're stronger than this.
  • meredith1123
    meredith1123 Posts: 843 Member
    Hey you! just dont worry about other people at the gym. Put on the music via earbuds/ipod from the second you walk in..... and deal with only yourself. Try to enjoy what you are there for and use that as motivation.
    DONT get discouraged, dont worry about others there.
    you are your worst enemy, so try not to be your enemy and befriend yourself for once!
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    dont even worry about it! i think its more you than them, i think its all "in your head" if you know what i mean. i felt the same way when i started going to the gym at 245 pounds, after the first week, i decided... they are all in thier own world staring AT THEMSELVES IN THE MIRROR MAKING SURE THIER FORM IS PERFECT!!! they dont even have the time or care to stare at me!!! just go, work hard, enjoy yourself, and start seeing results!
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    My gym is all skinny fit people too. I went in when I had about 100 to lose and as usual, I was pretty invisible. I guarantee most people who see you are going to think, "Way to go!" if they think anything about you at all.
  • pholbert
    pholbert Posts: 575 Member
    It is the begining of a new year, the gyms get alot of new people. So hold your head high, look them in the eye and smile and say hello. And follow the rules such as if you use a machine wipe it off when your done. In a little while they will see you as a regular there.
  • TXGirl821
    TXGirl821 Posts: 115
    I have twice as much to lose as you do, and I know that self conscious feeling. But my gym has become a safe place for me. People are SO supportive of my workouts there, and usually after a session with my trainer, one or two people will come tell me "Good job out there today!" Don't be too self conscious - they're happy to see you there working!

    Besides, I don't know about you, but I'd rather people watch me as I sweat my booty off than watch me as I walk out of KFC, you know? LOL :)
  • underwater77
    underwater77 Posts: 331 Member
    my gyms have people of all sizes and shapes. you may be too deep in your own head. like what has been said, they may glance for a moment, but within seconds they are back into their own routine and have forgotten all about you. just remember everyone is there for the same reason. keep at it, it will get easier. definitely bring tunes and get in the zone. you'll forget all about them, too!
  • rduhlir
    rduhlir Posts: 3,550 Member
    Don't pay attention to those at the gym. You are there for yourself, and that is all that matters.

    Honestly, when I see person's like yourself at the gym I am usually silently applauding them, because they are trying to change and become better people
  • DisneyAddictRW
    DisneyAddictRW Posts: 800 Member
    Stay positive. Anytime you're there and you start to think a negative thought return it with a positive comment to yourself. I have to remind myself at the gym everyone is at a different fitness level. I try to get in my "zone" with my music and forget about others around me. It's a regular struggle for me but I get through it. For me I hate working out in front of the mirrors. I'm a work in progress. Remember you're better than the others sitting at home on the couch! Keep rocking it!
  • mtfr810
    mtfr810 Posts: 136 Member
    First thing... be proud of yourself for going!!!!!! Anyone who might make any hurtful comment is nothing short of a horse's backside and is not someone you should concern yourself over. Just going shows you're committed to doing better for yourself and that makes you an amazing person with a tremendous amont of self-determination. Way to go!

    All that being said... if the gym becomes a barrier because of all the negativity then purchase some DVDs and use those to workout with. There are lots out there tt will help to motivate you so you can't watch the pounds fly off.

    Good luck and stand proud!
  • Simone_King
    Simone_King Posts: 467 Member
    Holy what kind of gym is that? o_o;

    I go to gym where elderly people work out and everything inbetween. So...

    However, no reason to feel insacure about yourself. You are there to get healthly.
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
    Probably trying to look at your chest...Do you....don't worry about those people there even if they are looking at you, (chances are most are not unless they were about to use the machine you are on. Good luck!
  • bbgughj
    bbgughj Posts: 219 Member
    Get over your fear ! People are not staring at you ... The people that are looking around are looking for their next work out or just taking a quick breather in between their work out ... I find most at the gym are in their own world when working out ..... I also do the same.

    Once I get too the gym , I usually put on my music and focus on myself......
  • Elleinnz
    Elleinnz Posts: 1,661 Member
    You know what - those looks you are getting - they mostly say "good on you girl - I only hope you are one of the ones that stick around and see it through!!" - I was the super obese girl a little bit over 2 years ago...... and the same thing - I was the only fat person in there!!

    Today I have some wonderful friends at that same gym - they have been my biggest cheerleaders - once they saw I kept coming back and busting my gut they were there for me every time I walked in there.....

    So when you walk in there and see them looking at you - give them a great big smile - and carry on doing what you are doing - in the end of the day it is all about you ....... and show them you are not one of the ones that will disappear after a few weeks....

    Good luck and have fun - and be warned - it is adictive :-)
  • trishmce
    trishmce Posts: 59
    Be proud of yourself. they may be thinking "good for her!" I know I would. It isn't easy I am far from there and the only people I notice are the annoying ones regardless of their shapes--hogging a machine while they are talking on the phone, hovering over you even though there are 3 other lat pull down stations or talking so loud because they want everyone to know what they are saying.
    Little steps will get you there and one day you can be the kind person who reaches out to the scared new comer.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Holy what kind of gym is that? o_o;

    I go to gym where elderly people work out and everything inbetween. So...

    However, no reason to feel insacure about yourself. You are there to get healthly.

    LOL we have elderly people at my gym, too, but they're skinny, muscular mutant creatures and when I use the weight machines after them I have to drop 20 pounds off it!
  • MsJulielicious
    MsJulielicious Posts: 708 Member
    Whenever I see someone that is heavy t the gym I think "Way to go!" When I started i had 25-30 lbs to lose and that was difficult, so I have respect for someone that has even more to lose because its not easy, but your there doing it. That's what matters. Gl, relax, and focus on the big picture.

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