Feeling Insecure at the Gym
Replies
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I had the same feeling when I went to my local gym. I'm nearly fifty ... and was at least 20yrs older than any one else there .. including the staff!
I felt very concious that I was also the thinnest, puniest there ... including the female staff! I couldn't workout to my full potential, tried several times. In the end I bought some weights and work out at home!.
My advice would be to either:
A) Ignore those around you and do your own thing
Find a gym where you feel comfortable
C) Do your training at home .. maybe with a friend or family member
It is tough ... but don't let anything stop you reaching your goals .. you owe it to yourself to be the best you can.
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I have to admit I'm a bit of a people watcher at the gym. The skinny biatches I'm jealous of and watch what they're doing so i can look like them! The overweight ones I'm secretly proud of. I think good on them for making some life changing decisions and getting out there and doing something!
I say good on you. This journey is about you. And at the end of the day, if they do think OMG WHAT is she doing here... so what?0 -
you my friend..... need to get a good i pod with all sorts of kick *kitten* music. Focus on your music the beat of the music and what you are doing. forget everyone else around you and just let yourself get in tune with the new lifestyle that is soon to be rockin your world. If you dont believe me....feel free to creep my profile and check it out. i was once in your shoes and now i am a personal trainer helping people reach and exceed their goals. We all had to start somewhere, and i know what you are feeling!!!
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I have 2 tshirts one says "I'm in shape... round is a shape" and another one that says "Work in Progress" I wear those when I'm feeling particularly insecure. I also have my work out playlist and I just jam away to my music and get lost in my own head I end up ignoring everybody there.0
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The more you go--the less insecure you'll be. I was over weight and out of shape a few years ago. I worked out with a trainer, did cardio every day, trained for a marathon and thought I was in pretty good shape. Then my husband lost his job, I took on a promotion at work to off set his loss of income, worked 12 hour days and stopped working out and watching my diet. 18 months later and 50lbs more - a week ago I stepped into that same gym. During those 18 months of agony I thought I wouldn't go back to the gym until I lost some weight as I didn't want to face all those in shape regulars. It was and continues to be hard to see people that were my friends and now they see me 50lbs heavier. For the most part - they've all been sincere and happy to see I'm back.
You have started a journey and you are an inspiration. Every week those regulars see you there eventually they will compliment you and support you. Hang in there. Just bury yourself in music and eventually you'll find some regulars that will become your support group!
Just do it and stick to it!
Deb0 -
I agree with the other posters, when I am looking at ppl at the gym I am either thinking "go you!" Or I'm vaguely staring at them while mulling over issues at work or what I'm going to do next weekend.
The thing to remember is every person there is there because they are working on something, whether that is losing weight, getting fitter or stronger, maintaining their health etc. We are all there working on a goal. So no one should be judging any one else we are all just at different points on the same spectrum!
Loud music does help too. 0 -
Dont worrry about how you think you look in comparison to others. Its a gym that you pay to be at. Just keep going.0
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Stay positive....I use to have a fear of the gym, but my hubby use to tell me...most people are looking at you in awe...you are here kicking butt and working harder than most in this gym...if they are are not looking at you with respect..then F**k them!!! The more you workout and start to see progress, the better and more secure you will feel. Any decent person will respect you for working hard to better yourself!! 0
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I went to the gym the other day, for the first time in my entire life, with the mindset of getting fit and healthy. With almost 100 lbs to lose to get in a healthy BMI, I'm a pretty big girl. But when I got to the gym, I felt super self conscious! There were literally NO overweight people in there...everyone had a body like a God and were easing through their workouts. They gave me weird looks and I became super self aware of my every movement. I felt like everyone was looking at my red, sweaty face, listening to me being out of breath.
So today, I went out and bought some nice work out clothes and a sportsbra (desperately needed) in the hopes that looking more like a gym rat will help me feel like I fit in.
Any tips on feeling more comfortable while trying to work out around others?
*P.S. I can't change gyms at the moment, I have a free membership to this gym and cannot afford a different one.
I don't know if this will help or hinder ... but as a former "fat girl" I wrote a blog post about people who are heavy and at the gym. ...
http://redwritinghood.ca/1858/dear-fat-people/
Heather0 -
You are not there to be in a fashion show or on the cat walk. You are there because you want to be healthier and get in better shape. Put the blinders on, plug in the ear buds and go to it. Sad that they have nothing better to do than to judge another! Put them in there place!!!! I am still the "big" girl and exercise and Zumba with all the young pups that are still wet behind the ears You can do this!!! 0
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tip number 1:
no one cares how you look. They might stare at you like they might stare at anyone else.0 -
Don't feel that way, I just joined a gym a few weeks ago and there are larger people there who could put my to shame while beside me on the elliptical, and I have no problem going for 30 mins straight And also, since I am new to the gym I feel the same way you do, like I am sticking out and all these "fit" people are looking at me funny, but I'm starting to think it may all be in my head since realistically I look no different then them.
Anyways just give it time, after a few weeks you will be very comfortable in the gym and won't think about it. You may be feeling weird since it's all so new. Get some headphones and drown everyone out 0 -
I know how you feel, I really do.
You also have to consider that some of those people who look liked 'God' started where you did as well. I have come along way and sometimes I wish more people would know that.
Another thought, is your gym have a female only section? that may help. It took me awhile to feel comfortable in the co-ed and even then I only do classes at this gym and have to walk past the men lol
ETA: I also agree just to worry about yourself and getting healthy. If someone is staring at you, they are weird. I don't sit at the gym staring at someone unless they are texting on a machine I want and not using it lol0 -
I felt the same way when I first started lifting.
And I was working out at home!0 -
Whenever I see a "big" person at a gym, male or female, (and there are plenty) I always have major respect for them, since I know how hard that can be. Without a doubt they are the bravest in the place.
If I see them there often, then I know they are the strongest, toughest most focused, most dedicated person in the place.
So there!
(ps: they probably are not looking at you as much as you think they are. Observe, they may be giving everyone a glance who walks through he door. additionally, a good percentage of those "perfect bodies" were likely to be overweight at some point and were in the same boat you are.
Do not let this cause you to deviate from your goals. You're stronger than this.
i feel the same way. When a really heavy person is working at it just as hard as all the regular sized people at the gym i'm like "wwow that's strength"0 -
That's funny - I started at Planet Fitness a couple of days ago, and I was reading all the signage about being a 'judgment free zone' and all that, and I thought back to all of the gyms I've belonged to over the years - and how I never even notice the other people there unless they are using a machine I'm waiting for - so if there WAS anyone looking funny at me, I never noticed. I think most people are in their own worlds, though I suppose people-watching types must go to the gym, too. I downloaded Pandora onto my new smartphone and started a Gwen Stefani station, then added Shakira, and I plug in my earbuds and I'm in the zone. So I have to second the person who advised getting lost in some music while you're working out there 0
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Honestly no one really pays attention at my gym to anything. If someone is staring it's normally because they are just focusing. Normally I'm too focused on my workout to really care about anyone else (as long as they aren't in my way) or what they are doing. Sometimes I do look at the male eye candy though. Or I will watch for form to improve myself. Today I was doing pushups with the exercise ball (can't do regular YET) and a guy said to me "Great effort". It really meant alot to me!0
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I was nervous about going to the gym I had paid for for 4 years also...Planet Fitness. Everyone either keeps to themselves or encourages and is quick to show you how to use the equipment. Congrats for walking in, and thanks for saying what I think a lot of us have felt.0
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I felt the same way when I started going over a year ago. I stuck it out, with the help of a couple of gym buddies and am glad I did. It was funny, how I would see the same people every day and only a couple of them would speak to me, giving me encouragement to keep up the good work. Then once I started losing weight and others could tell, those same people that I saw daily, who never spoke to me, were coming up to me asking if I had lost weight and how good I looked. I speak to all, but the ones I talk to are the ones who saw me when I was "invisible" and 70+ pounds heavier! Keep up the good work...it will pay off in the end!0
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I went to the gym the other day, for the first time in my entire life, with the mindset of getting fit and healthy. With almost 100 lbs to lose to get in a healthy BMI, I'm a pretty big girl. But when I got to the gym, I felt super self conscious! There were literally NO overweight people in there...everyone had a body like a God and were easing through their workouts. They gave me weird looks and I became super self aware of my every movement. I felt like everyone was looking at my red, sweaty face, listening to me being out of breath.
So today, I went out and bought some nice work out clothes and a sportsbra (desperately needed) in the hopes that looking more like a gym rat will help me feel like I fit in.
Any tips on feeling more comfortable while trying to work out around others?
*P.S. I can't change gyms at the moment, I have a free membership to this gym and cannot afford a different one.
try not to worry about it. Learn to laugh at yourself a little.( by learn to laugh, I mean poke a little fun at yourself. I crack jokes about my height or being *old*--especially when talking to the trainer who is 15 years younger and 10 inches taller than I am)
I was morbidly obese when I started at the Y in February last year. I saw all these pretty people in there, and felt similar to the way you feel right now. I started taking my kindle with me and reading a book while I sweated buckets walking on the treadmill. Every once in a while someone would say something--like the day the trainer smiled and cracked a (good natured) joke as I was dripping sweat
Then after about 4 months or so of going in there, something happened. This huge muscled black guy approached me to tell me that he had noticed how often I was in, and that I was doing a great job. Then 2 older ladies I helped with the treadmills told me THEY had noticed ( from the pool area they were usually in ) how dedicated I had been ...then the trainer and the fitness monitor commented on how regular I was. Every time I got down about not thinking I had been making much progress, someone would come up and tell me how they noticed me working HARD on the machines. I thought I was going to cry the day a lady who is recovering from a STROKE walked by smiling and commented to the trainer " she's doing real good and making awesome progress, isn't she?"
After 11 months now, I kinda feel like the Y is my family. I know a few people by name, I nag the old guy who is supposed to be on oxygen but doesn't like to wear it, and he picks on me back. The front desk guy calls me by name. The trainer and fitness monitor chat with me, check my form without my asking, and joke with me.0 -
Don't pay any mind to those around you. They are all there for the same reason to be healthy and get fit. Don't forget they all started at some point too, and likely some were at the same starting point as you. We are all our biggest critics and we all tend to make more out of a situation than it really is. I have found that people have a lot of respect for those that come into a gym with a lot of weight to lose. It shows that you are ready to take back control of your life, and that your there to get healthy. Most of the people are there to workout, not socialize. So go ahead and focus on your workout, not on the people around you. And above all, enjoy it and be proud of yourself. You deserve to be healthy!0
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I have about 120 lbs to lose and I feel shy when I go to the gym. I just put on my ipod and listen to my workout music and get "into" the zone. I am sure it only feels like people are staring at you, I figure even if they are staring at me, I am there for myself not for them. I am the only one who can make myself healthy and going to the gym is part of that journey. Just try to focus on yourself and enjoy the workouts. Good Luck!!0
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I have 2 tshirts one says "I'm in shape... round is a shape" and another one that says "Work in Progress" I wear those when I'm feeling particularly insecure.
I LOVE this!! haha0 -
I went to the gym the other day, for the first time in my entire life, with the mindset of getting fit and healthy. With almost 100 lbs to lose to get in a healthy BMI, I'm a pretty big girl. But when I got to the gym, I felt super self conscious! There were literally NO overweight people in there...everyone had a body like a God and were easing through their workouts. They gave me weird looks and I became super self aware of my every movement. I felt like everyone was looking at my red, sweaty face, listening to me being out of breath.
So today, I went out and bought some nice work out clothes and a sportsbra (desperately needed) in the hopes that looking more like a gym rat will help me feel like I fit in.
Any tips on feeling more comfortable while trying to work out around others?
*P.S. I can't change gyms at the moment, I have a free membership to this gym and cannot afford a different one.
That is so rude and sorry you had that experience. Not all gyms are that way. Maybe take a friend with you and maybe you will be more comfortable.0 -
I know it's hard to go into the gym full of god like creatures and feel out of place. I'm much bigger too, I know that I will one day look like them and know I will embrace anyone new that comes in. I right now just go do what I need to do and sweat with my red face. Do what you need to do. Do it well...Good luck and keep us informed.0
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I went to the gym the other day, for the first time in my entire life, with the mindset of getting fit and healthy. With almost 100 lbs to lose to get in a healthy BMI, I'm a pretty big girl. But when I got to the gym, I felt super self conscious! There were literally NO overweight people in there...everyone had a body like a God and were easing through their workouts.
I feel your pain. There are only a few big people in my gym, and I am the biggest guy there. The other 95% are in perfect shape. Thankfully they are respectful. As others have said, focus on yourself. Everyone in that gym should be glad you are trying to get in shape. That is why gym's exist in the first place!0 -
I don't think people really care what you look like at the gym. What people do care about is if you are using the equipment correctly. Are you just sitting on a popular piece, that pisses people off!
Remember this feeling. In a few months you will look like everyone else. And when you see a new person who may resemble what you used to look like walks in the gym. Make them feel welcome.0 -
I've been looked at funny by at least one person in every gym I've ever attended, and my overly-critical brain inflates that to, like, ten people! (and they were probably looking at me funny because I'm super short and always walk everywhere like I'm on a mission to save the world!)
But here's what I do: smile. Smile at someone you think is judging you. Smile to someone who looks sad, or frustrated with their own progress. And for god's sake, smile to yourself while doing your workout! Aside from all the scientific proof that just the act of smiling makes you a healthier person, you should be smiling because you are doing amazing things with your body and your life.0 -
I feel insecure to, but for different reasons. I really don't like the thread on here that is all about judging people at the gym. Pay attention to what you're doing, meeting your goals, feeling good and having fun!0
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Just focus on yourself, forget everyone else in the gym, remember why you are there, and that it is highly likely that at least a few of them were once where you are now.
^^This
Forget about what anyone thinks, you are not there for them, you are there for yourself. I felt the same way at 350 pounds. It only lasted a couple times.0
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