I lost all this weight... so where are my dates at??

Back when I was single, I joined a computer dating site which had a journal function...and promptly made a lot of female friends. One of them had a party, I attended...and met my future husband there.

I guess it's like anything else -- you have to network a lot!

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Congrats on the weight loss. Great work.
Does that confidence show yet? I know it sounds silly... but at any weight a highly confident woman is going to get approached.
Smile, have fun, be loose(personality I mean) and see where it gets you.

Is it weird then that I'm attracted to shy/stoic girls who don't smile too often around unfamiliar people? I've always wondered if it's just me...

I do agree though. Confident women who glow when they smile clearly get more attention from guys, weight aside. Just keep working hard and focus on yourself. Self-driven women who aren't seemingly searching for a relationship are also really attractive somehow...

Good luck!

Nah. A lot of people also like an aura of mystery. But confident mystery! lol

Yeah, my tactic of wandering around out in public shyly staring at the floor isn't getting me any dates. I've decided that since I'm a political activist by nature it's time to find a local activist group and start attending.

So where do corporate professionals meet? Beats me, maybe there is a group you can find?

Back before internet dating, I met a really sweet cute guy though a personal ad. We've been together since June 1993... Sometimes you have to go outside your comfort zone. And guys at that age are a little settled in their ways, you may have to be the one to ask. Or go through a dating site. My husband and I are unlikely to have met IRL since I like to stay home and read and so does he.

I'm not at my goal weight now but I totally get you.

Try to open yourself more. By that,I mean that you should be witty and flirty and don't be afraid to make the 1st move.
Also talk to guys more. It doesn't need to be out of sexual interest. You will get familiar with talking to them and you'll be more confident next time you see a guy you like.

And never think too much about it. It'll come,you won't stay single forever. :bigsmile:


PS: Go out and dance like the world's gonna end :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:

Exactly! I'm getting more & more confident every time I see a little change.
This journey made me & is still making me love myself no matter what I look like.
And if you don't love yourself,who the heck will?

And I'm sorry for my english,I'm a foreign speaker :P

Recently I went out for a drink with my friend and before we had even sat down two men approached us and started flirting. It also happened TWICE more that evening, the second time with much younger men (I am 51....)!

I have been happily married for nearly 30 years and it was a big shock but also a HUGE boost! In fact I logged it as an NSV! I am sorry this won't help answer your question, but wanted to say that maybe because we/I weren't looking for company and just enjoying ourselves naturally, it happened anyway. Be confident and don't try to hard would be my advice.

This may sound like a silly question, but are you doing anything to put yourself in the path of 40something professionals? Simple logistics. If you don't go to where they are, there's not that much chance that they will see you in order to ask you out.

OK, probably a silly post and I hesitate a little to say it as I've seen how some of these discussions can kind of go down in flames, but I just had to put it out there.

I lost this weight for me and my health and I'm super proud of it. But I will admit that in the back of mind was the hope (perhaps the expectation even) that getting in to better shape and generally just looking better would result in an improvement in my dating life. Yet while I get hit on a lot more, the increase only seems to be in the kind of guys I don't date (namely 20 somethings who are looking for a cougar and all remind me of my baby brother so it creeps me out or married men which is totally out of the question), and not at all with the guys I would date (40 something professionals who are single).

So, to all the single guys out there, especially all my 40-something guys, what does a 40 year old woman have to do to get you to ask her out and just give her a chance?

Congrats on your weight loss!
I have a similar story. I use to weigh 300lbs at one point and then went down to 150lbs. I actually had a standing chance after that although my "fat boy" confidence was still there which obviously was zero. I was socially retarded when it came to asking women out so I just had friends help me out in the long run. I finally built up enough confidence to ask out a girl I was admiring for a while and she said yes to dinner. Well that was my first ever date at age 18. Sad but true.
Okay, now fast forward into the future 8 years later to the present. I'm considered a "Meat Head" to some women. Apparently in my age group who are in their 20's. I see a lot of women these days who are with scrawny men. It baffles me. Since losing all that weight I started hitting the weights to tone up over the years and finally just bulked up altogether. I found most older women hit on me than younger. Although the younger women will just stare at me sometimes even if they are with their significant other.
Anyways to answer your question since you are waiting for someone to ask you out I would ask them out instead if you are truly growing tired of waiting. Or show more signs towards men who you think are interesting or cute like a smile towards them or a simple "Hi" could do the trick.