Anxiety at the gym...
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I feel the same way about going to the gym. We have a small workout room at my work and it is a nice benefit but I have stopped going because I was nervous that co-workers would be judging me in the same way. But I have decided that if I don't got to the gym and workout my butt is just going to get bigger. So I'm saying let the haters hate if they want to. I'm going to go to the gym and do my workout regardless of what anyone things (even my own negative thoughts) and do what is best for me.
Hopefully I will feel more confident in the workout room but I'm not going to let my own perceived negative thoughts stop me from doing what I need to, to get myself into a shape other than a blob.
Keep going and working on you and let them work on themselves.0 -
I used to be like that, especially when having to walk through the weights section.
Just look at your iPod or whatever,or just don't make eye contact, lol (:
in all seriousness, I doubt anyone is paying much attention to you. I don't mean that to be rude but I always felt like people were staring when they really weren't, just go for it! x0 -
Think about it like this...the "buff" guys respect girls that squat, press, deadlift and all that.
hell even seeing a woman pick up a dumbell is impressive.
Yes! I was at the gym with my trainer and she saw a guy she knew (big, buff body builder) and she introduced us and he said that he loves seeing women lift weights and it shows that they really care about their body.
Before I got a trainer, I looked up dumbbell exercises online and started doing those. My biggest fear was not knowing what to do, but now I'm working on that.0 -
I completely understand. I don't know a single person who hasn't felt that way when first starting off at a gym, especially if you're going alone. I can tell you though that those people are much more into themselves and their routines at that moment than what anyone else might be doing there. I even find it hard to pay attention to who is around me or what they're doing when I go. I try to only focus on what I need to do while I'm there. Don't over think it, and I'm positive they are not judging you. If anything, they probably noticed you when you came in because you were new, and thought "good for you" when they saw you working out. Everyone is there for the same reason, and no one starts out "buff." =-) Keep going; You'll be happy you did.0
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Nobody cares about you or what you are doing. Honestly. And in the event someone DOES want to have a little chuckle at my expense, fine, whatever, I couldn't care less what a total stranger, who is obviously a *kitten*, thinks about me.0
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My advice would be to have a set workout plan for weights in your head or even get a book and write it down if you need to and ALWAYS have a plan B workout (or even plan C if your gym is really crowded) that you can go to next if what you want is being used. Since you aren't 100% comfortable you might find that having a plan of exercises limits the moments where you are milling around wondering "wait should I go to THAT rack or THAT bench and do this excercise or that one." Starting off with a set plan might help with indicisiveness and the 'fear' or 'intimidation' that sets in when you become unfocused on what you are really there to do: work on yourself. Just my two cents, good luck!0
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I had this problem. I promise it goes away. Once you get into a rutine and go at certain times every week, you may even meet some people (yes even meatheads) that are on the same schedule as you. In my experiance, most everyone at the gym is very friendly.
Just yesterday I was benching and I had two 5 lb weights on each side of the bar. There was another regular on another bench and he had 90 lbs on each side of his bar. He came over and offered to spot me so I could do more reps (not hitting on me, just genuinely being nice. Most of the people at the gym really are just there to work out. It is probably a common interest. They are just people too. Keep your head up and keep going. It does get better. Maybe go with a friend a few times to get into a rutine?0 -
I wish there were more girls on that side of the room... but they wont join me. They look.. but never come over.
It's very sad and lonely on this side of the gym usually.
If you're at my gym, come talk to me and we can share the squat rack. Im the one in the crazy colors with white hair - having too much fun alone.
Wave at me and you can come stay safe by me, kk?0 -
Unfortunately, you see it even here. Every year, "some" the people who have been on MFP for awhile begin threads about the "newbies" at the gym where they go.
There can be a snobbery that seems to take hold after some have used a gym for a period of time. Some forget what it's like to be new and trying hard to improve your life.
Just go. Ignore the jerks, because there may be some, make friends with the helpful people - there will be some.
Work out hard, take advice, and eventually the naysayers will see that you aren't going away - that you mean business.0 -
I have anxiety about the gym as well. Mine is based on the fact that I don't know how to use the machines and I'm afraid of looking like an idiot when I can't figure them out or do them wrong. I found this AWESOME website that gives you workouts for the body area you want to work, and if the workout uses a machine, it tells you how to use the machine. I love this website, you can find all workouts on here and details about how to do them. Check it out, and good luck to you! I'm glad you asked this question, I feel like a lot of people will be able to read the answers from other users and find a way to build confidence to get the work out they need.0
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When I see people walk into the weight area of the gym, especially those that aren't perfectly ripped, I hold them to a higher respect level. Getting fit is hard work and taking the time to invest in yourself is worth more than any possible weird looks you'd get. Go on and get in there!
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Unfortunately, you see it even here. Every year, "some" the people who have been on MFP for awhile begin threads about the "newbies" at the gym where they go.
There can be a snobbery that seems to take hold after some have used a gym for a period of time. Some forget what it's like to be new and trying hard to improve your life.
Just go. Ignore the jerks, because there may be some, make friends with the helpful people - there will be some.
Work out hard, take advice, and eventually the naysayers will see that you aren't going away - that you mean business.
these are usually the people that are SO SURPRISED that they are even able to still hold up their own goals, that they accidentally spill over the self-confident and helpful part and fall right into being tools.
exactly as above, work hard, dont worry about them. It's all about you anr your body and what yall are gonna do together.0 -
most men are very pleased with themselves when a woman comes up to them in the gym and asks them on advice on what to do or how to do a specific lift.
Even if you don't want/need their advice, this might help you be more comfortable in the end and make you some friends.0 -
I have social anxiety disorder that actually caused me to quit my old gym. I felt like a fatass among the fit people and thought they must wonder wtf I am doing there. Even doing the machines (cardio & strength) was a challenge as I would avoid being even 2-3 machines away from anyone. I gained quite a bit of weight by allowing my SA to keep me from the gym for a few years. I have now found a 24-hour women only gym and wait until around 9pm to go when it's not busy. I'm often the only one in the place at that hour. I got a routine from Body building and watched the videos to learn how to do everything. I am thinking of moving to a town with no women only gym but think all that I have learned has given me the confidence to go among the men and do my thing. Although I will find a 24-hour gym and keep going late in the evenings in hopes of fewer people.0
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here's what happened to me yesterday:
I'm new to my gym, and while doing strength training yesterday I discover, horror- upon- horrors, that one of my machines is located in the free weight section. I'm a confident woman, but it took me the entire 45 min set to get up the nerve to just walk over there, but I did!
after this victory, I went back to the cardio area and promptly BURST INTO TEARS right on the elliptical machine in the middle of the gym!!! LOL.
its really stressful to beat a fear. especially if you feel you are being evaluated like you're a piece of meat. I'm on the same page. I'd really like to start doing free weights.
FWIW, I always silently cheer on the women around me in my head when I"m working out. Just keep going and do whatever level of exercise you can, even if it means just showing up and walking in there for a few minutes.0 -
I wish there were more girls on that side of the room... but they wont join me. They look.. but never come over.
It's very sad and lonely on this side of the gym usually.
If you're at my gym, come talk to me and we can share the squat rack...
Totally awesome!! thanks for the nudge!0 -
Wow! Thank you all for taking the time to give me a loving kick in the pants! Some posts made me giggle and some made me tear up, but all of you were spot on. It's a nice reminder that we all had to start somewhere. The voice in my head is sometimes a bigger douche than the ones I perceive are judging me.
*puts on her big-girl pants and stands a little taller*
I might look into a trainer just to get started with a plan. I think part of the intimidation is not being comfortable with the equipment itself. It took me like 5 min of staring at the gravitron to figure out how that sucker worked! Once I figured it out, I was loving it. I hurt my back last yr, so I'm timid about free weights. I want to do it right and avoid injury.
Thank you again for giving me a sorely needed reality check. Giving up isn't an option.
If anyone wants to add me as a friend, I'd love to have ya on my team.0 -
Just remember why you're there---to work out or to find a man? Keep your focus and concentrate on yourself..don't worry about the scenery or their impression of you. If they see you day after day they may actually congratulate you on your shrinking form. 0
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the more you go, the easier it'll get. i promise.
i used to get intimidated by the lithe little girls who go like crazyspeedy on the elliptical and treadmill.
until i remember what my trainer told me: that they are overtraining and more often than not, doing it incorrectly.
the people who are there for genuine health - and if it's a small gym, i think that is likely - will respect you.
kudos to you for going straight from work, and for the weight loss .... just keep swimming!0 -
I know exactly how this feels! Im 5'5" and 198 and my husband is a lifter and does crossfit so when i asked him to take me to the weight section to learn how to do squats i thought i would feel "safer". Im an eyes forward type of person when i work out but the other lifters in the area stopped to watch and the sudden stop of movement and being able to see them in the mirrors looking at each other and whispering was distracting. Based on my own husbands complaints about people in the weight room i wondered if the people watching were being critical and annoyed with me. Based on the complaints of so many people on here and my own husband about newbs in the weight room ive just been really turned off about even entering the room. And while i would love to have an eff them attitude about it, im finding it hard because while most of the time i dont really care what others think about me , i do care about inconveniencing people, especially during their workouts.0
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I walked into a gym for the first time ever in my life last Friday morning. I was nervous I admit. I am usually pretty self confident even when I weighed 270 lbs and never really let my weight hold me back from things but I doing this gym thing was making me nervous. I had only been on a treadmill and exercise bike in physical therapy in the past for my bad knee.
Since Fri and have went back to work out on Sun, Mon and Tuesday and I love it! I did wonder over to the weight machines on Sunday and did a few machines my physical therapist told me to do. I met with a trainer on Monday and he went through all the weight machines with me and then I did them all. I did feel alittle nervous trying to figure them out by myself but did figure them out and if I couldn't ask a worker at gym and they nicely showed me and stayed there to make sure I was doing it right.
I have lost 125 pounds in the last year but even at 145 walking into the gym made me nervous. I don't know if I could do it at 270. I agree with others on here, most people aren't paying any attention to what others are doing or looking like when exercising. I know I am not. I am just trying to get through and push myself through my work out.
Someday I hope to wonder over to the free weight section. I do some dumbell work at home but haven't tried it at the gym yet.
Good luck!0 -
I had the same feelings. What helped me was to have a plan made before going to the gym. Knowing exactly what workouts I need to do while in the free weight area has helped me concentrate on my workout instead of everything else going on around me. Now, I don't waste time walking around wondering what to do adding to the uncomfortable feelings of being unsure.
You got this!0 -
Here's a little insight you'll discover when you become fit and seeing someone who is beginning their exercise journey at the gym....
First a little back story, at my heaviest I was 235 lbs (5'10"). I started walking until I reached 205. Eventually, I began working out at my apartment complex's gym. When I was 205-210, I often noticed that those that were fit often would notice me while on the treadmill as well as while weightlifting. Mind you, at 43 yrs old, I really dont care what others are thinking, but it was always a strange feeling. I would ask my trainer and he would tell me that people will sometimes watch someone lift weights in order to get new exercise ideas, watch to see if they are using correct form, etc.
When asked why they notice me walking over to the treadmill, he told me "You'll discover why when you become fit and get closer to your goals."
Jump ahead 6 months, I have reached my "goal weight" (I state it at 165 just in case I continue to lose weight, I am not trying to, but if I do it's no big deal). In walks someone as you described. He's about 5'8", just beginning his exercise journey (He's wearing a matching exercise outfit, sweatbands on his forehead and wrists) weighs around 260-300 lbs and nervously walks up to the treadmill. Takes about 5 minutes to set his towel on the arm handle and program the machine. All this while nervously looking around, After a little while, the treadmill slowly increases in speed and he begins his walking/jogging routine.
During all of this, I was sitting between sets on a chest press machine (I know, taking an extended rest) and I remembered myself asking my trainer why it felt that others were watching me while I got onto the treadmill while being vastly overweight.
Then it dawned on me, was I thinking "Hey tubbo, shouldn't you be back on the couch eating twinkies?" or "Hey fattie, didn't anyone ever tell you that gyms are for fit people?"
NOT IN THE LEAST! NOT FOR A SECOND DID I THINK THAT!
It made me remember when I first began exercising, not having a clue as to what I was doing. It made me remember when I thought that everyone was watching me while using the treadmill. Now guess what I was thinking and wanting to say to that overweight, unhealthy gentlemen on the treadmill (those of us that are fit already know what I'm about to say).
I thought:
Congratulations!
Good for you!!
You've finally had enough of being overweight and are doing something about it!
We've all been there when beginning exercising for the first time!
(etc).
What people that are overweight and out of shape dont realize when they enter the gym that those of us that notice them, notice them because we all remember when we first began. They remind us to not give up when we feel like quitting (or making excuses not to exercise).
As he was finishing his time on the treadmill and walking out of the gym, I smiled, walked over to him and said "Dont worry about the others here in the gym. We all remember how nervous we felt while first working out. Over time, the nervousness goes away. If you ever decide to lift weights, feel free to ask me what exercises are good to start with and I'll be more than happy to show you some exercises as well as steer you towards the personal trainer that I used when first lifting weights."
My point is, please dont feel embarrassed, ashamed, or uncomfortable about how you look in the gym. The point is that you are in the gym to exercise and gain the benefits from doing so. If you are just starting out and are very overweight, you'll be an inspiration to those of us that are further along in our journey. In time, as you become healthier, when you see an overweight beginner in the gym, you'll "flashback" to when you first began exercising and perhaps they'll inspire you to continue on your journey.
I feel intimidated too (signed up 3 weeks ago, I go every single day but i still didnt adventure myself to the free weights section :P ) but this is exactly how i try to see it. All those super fit people weren't born fit (if they did then wow they're lucky! jaja) they worked to get that body the same way as you, me tons of people are.. They worked the same way you're working to improve yours so I imagine they can't/shouldnt judge in a negative way since they've been there before.
Thanks for putting it so well it's really touching to read I think i'll print and hang this comment on my wall for inspirational purposes :P 0 -
Hi! I'm new to MFP and I can tell you that I've had anxiety for the past 3-4 years about joining a gym for the same reasons you are mentioning, but i am here to inspire you!:flowerforyou:
I have big boobs (I'm a DD) and i'm very self conscious about working out with them.
I run and do jumping jacks and they bounce everywhere (even when i buy an expensive sports bra) I didn't want any men looking at me
The first time i seriously thought about going to a gym i was 170lbs:frown: .... now I'm 200lbs:noway: and if i just would've started a long time ago i probably would weight as much as I do now.:sad: I'm currently angry at myself for letting my fear of other people looking at me deter me from being healthy and in shape. How dare i do that to myself?!?! :mad:
Once i saw my scale hit 201 i decided to get over my fear of the gym and just go for it. Better late then never right? I found an all woman's gym (Lucille Roberts
) and joined it last week (by the way if you are in ny, nj,ct,pa they have a 15$/m deal going on right now!) I chose this gym because it was all women, they have fitness classes, and they seemed super supportive and understanding. So far I've gone 5 times in the one week i have been a member, and i've already lost 4lbs:bigsmile: . I feel amazing and I'm so proud of myself for finally getting over this fear of other people watching me and judging me.
Yes there are super hot women in there..... But I'm looking at them as inspiration now instead of with jealousy because for all i know, that same hot chick could've been my size a year or two ago and is just trying to keep the weight off. Don't feel like they are judging you because you don't know their story. We are all in a gym to work on improving ourselves...everyone in there knows that. That inspired me and made makes mr feel better and like i can do this too!:glasses:
And can i tell you something funny? I met a girl in there who is 300 lbs who's goal is to weigh 200lbs like me. So to someone else in there, I'm the super hot skinny girl they wish they could be. :glasses:
so my advice, if you can join an all women's gym, and if not screw everyone else and DO YOU! As i said before we are all in a gym to work on improving ourselves. Don't let anyone deter you away from your goals and your dreams because they are looking. You never know, they could be looking because they are jealous of you.
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Just do it. My wife started lifting in college and enjoys it a lot.
Example, we were in Chicago over thanksgiving and joined a local gym on a week pass. She was one of only two gals we saw lifting the entire time we were there. Everyone either ingored her (not in a bad way) or was very nice.
Funny story, one of the days, we were lifting we a couple of guys who spent more time talking than lifting. The only did about 2/3 of the lifting exercises we did that day even though they were there before we arrived and were still there "lifting" after we left after doing cardio, stretching and lifting. Those guys didn't seem to know what to make of her (or maybe just thought she was hot lol), especially seeing some of the weights she was lifting. On the way to the car, she was beaming and made the comment something to the effect that it was so much fun being in their and lifting hard, causing them not to know what to make of her, surprising them with how much she can lift. It made her day.
I hope you feel comfortable to own that part of the gym, make it yours and become the more awesome version of you that you want to be. The payoff may surprise you in a lot of ways.0 -
We do circuit style training with my trainer while the men around us do their own sets. It was noted to us a while back that while the guy didn't want to say it to us directly (he thought it would be disrespectful and creepy) he wanted to let us know that he admired our commitment and that he loved seeing how much we all changed week by week, so he let our trainer know and she told us as a group. Now, it might not have been directed at ALL of us (our group varies week to week as to who is present) but it sure did make my chest swell.
I still get intimidated at times, but it's all part of the process. The courage to push forward.0 -
I get like that too..I find it help if i have my music on full blast and kind of tune out the world and just focus on the workout0
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I signed up to work with a trainer really for this reason. I mean, the workouts are great, and I'm learning a lot of exercises too. But I was just so intimidated, and she takes me in there right at peak hours, and I'm getting more used to it. I've even gone in there a few times on my own. It's getting better. The more confident I am in "this is my workout, I'm doing it right, and I'm doing it right in the space where it should be done", the less anxiety I feel about it.0
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I used to have really bad gym anxiety too. I have lost almost 50lbs last year at home and with help from my work I am changing my schedule so I can join the gym down the street. Which I actually joined today.
But walking and jogging at a local park helped me get over that a lot. You get more "glances" from people at a park with a nice trail then at a gym. But they are never bad glances that I would get. I just got used to people looking at me as I walked, jogged or ran by.
I think the important thing to remember which helps me is that there isn't a single person in the gym that was born with the ability to run 5+ miles or with 6-pack abs, etc. Everyone started from somewhere.
Also there is nothing embarrassing about trying to better yourself. If anyone wants to judge you they can be embarrassed for thinking that way but I will never be embarrassed about trying to lose weight and be healthy. 0 -
UPDATE: for what's it worth, I was in the gym Sunday with a gf that joined. She's not into the free weights(yet), but I got the moxy to walk to that side of the room (with her in tow) and asked an older guy to show me how the squat rack worked. I know how to do squats but was unsure how to adjust the rack height.
He was kind enough to do so, and even gave me pointers on form. I did two sets with the barbell. Now I'm one step closer to being comfortable on that side of the room. Oh yea, and my @ss is sore this morning, LOL
Next goal is to figure out dead lifts. I want a trainer but can't afford it right now.
Baby steps....0
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