eHarmony experience?

lecarter
lecarter Posts: 15
edited September 20 in Chit-Chat
Since you all are one of my new networks I figured there may be some insight out there into eHarmony. Has anyone ever tried it out? I have read that there can be challenges stopping your subscription or matches not being there once you sign up. Any insight or reccomendations? Thanks!
«1

Replies

  • i just joined match.com yesterday.
  • CSimpson
    CSimpson Posts: 20
    I used eHarmony a couple of years ago and did not have a good experience. I was matched with individuals who might have seemed like a good fit on paper but in reality were people I would never date. I'm sure other people have had the opposite experience but I met my current boyfriend on Match.com. The only thing with that site that you have to watch out for is that a lot of the people on there are just looking to hook up and many of them are not interested in pursuing relationships. There definitely are some genuine people on Match and maybe you'll meet someone.
  • RedneckWmn
    RedneckWmn Posts: 3,202 Member
    I know several people who have tried it and had great success and later married the people they are met. All of them still going strong. My roommate and I joined about a year or two ago. Neither one of us had good luck. Like a previous post it was a lot of people who I wouldn't really date. A lot of them were looking to hook up as well. Kinda weird people would pay that kinda money just for a hook up. I found the daily matches very overwhelming. If you couldn't get on for a day or two you were bombarded with about 100 matches to go through and choose if you wanted to contact or not. I also didn't like the million different "phases" of communication. I know that's how they match you but it just seems tedious. Maybe it's because I'm an inpatient person and this is just my experience.I know there are lots of people who have had great luck. Good luck to you!
  • squoozyq
    squoozyq Posts: 305
    I used lavalife.com 5 years ago, I married the man of my dreams and we have two beautiful girls together. I knew the minute we were matched that he was the one...and so did he!
    Dreams can come true....
  • lecarter
    lecarter Posts: 15
    Was it hard to cancel your account when you decided to stop?
  • luly727
    luly727 Posts: 202 Member
    I signed up at EHarmony during one of those Promo Free things, and I did not have anyone to match with me :( I tried a few more times and same thing..Maybe I am just strange and they didnt have any matches for me LOL..I didnt like the million questions u had to go thru in the beginning only to be told at the end of the long drawn out process that they had no matches..

    I would just say, like with any online dating or singles site, be careful and check them out first before handing over money..

    Good luck
  • RedneckWmn
    RedneckWmn Posts: 3,202 Member
    No you just have to go online and do it. Just do it before the billing cuts off. They called me after I canceled my membership. Wanted me to rejoin. I still get emails for special "offers" and they even sent me stuff in the mail which kinda ticked me off. Seems like if you don't meet someone they wont leave you alone.
  • i hated eharmony. too many questions and then they denied me. i met my last boyfriend (and a few other good guys on yahoo personals). i'm trying match this time. what is lavalife?
  • squoozyq
    squoozyq Posts: 305
    Just went in and deleted my profile and to be honest, I didn't even have to pay. My now husband 'smiled' at me and we started emailing, then the one phone call and we met and here we are! (he paid for his membership)
  • jsturman
    jsturman Posts: 19 Member
    I met my "now" husband on Match.com 7 years ago (at age 44).............................dated for 2 years and now married for 5, and still very happy! My best advice is to be very honest (especially with your photo!), and email/talk on the phone often before meeting for coffee or a drink.
  • RedneckWmn
    RedneckWmn Posts: 3,202 Member
    I agree with the photo thing 100%. Take a very current and honest picture! A lot of people post pics that are several years old! If you have time and patience for all the questions go for it. What's it going to hurt? You don't like it cancel it.
  • ericac
    ericac Posts: 2,679
    My mother and my brother both found their SO's on Match.com.....and they both really liked it.

    (I met my love on here...totally by accident!...lol)
  • My Mom had good and bad experiences on eHarmony. She met my step-dad on Match.

    The good: The database matched her and my dad at one point (her ex husband) and her and her brother. So it really does look at age and values, but maybe a little too well.

    The bad: A couple of the guys she met on there were nothing like their profile described. It only really works if you're honest and/or self-aware enough to know yourself.

    @Erica: I randomly met mine on here too! Weird. :wink:
  • questionablemethods
    questionablemethods Posts: 2,174 Member
    I know some people who have met their spouses on eHarmony. I have tried it and, for me, I felt like it was too restrictive. I didn't like the way it forced me into a very slow, methodical approach to contacting people. Like, first you send a notification that you are interested, then you send each other four or five pre-determined questions to answer, then blah blah blah. I wanted to exchange a couple of messages and then meet for coffee pretty quickly because it doesn't matter how great someone seems on paper or in an email exchange, if their mannerisms in person make them seem like a total creep, I am not interested. I felt like on eHarmony, I was going to spend a lot of time just getting to the stage where I could even find out that they were a weirdo. But, that's just me. I think it is a good site especially for those who are a little hesitant about the idea of meeting someone online and want to approach it very cautiously. I'm not so hesitant, so I got impatient.

    I met my boyfriend on OkCupid. I had a lot of so-so experiences before meeting him, though.
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
    My mom tried eHarmony. She ended up dating a schmuck.

    Then she tried lavalife, and ended up dating a schmuck-and-a-half. She's done with internet dating.

    However, I used dating.com (before it became a pay site), and I met my husband there. He kept showing up as a 94% match for me and I finally thought "y'know, if he emails me, I'll know that he's the one". The next day I had a letter... we spent a few months chatting online and on the phone (we lived in different cities), and then I moved to my current city (where he lived) for my second year in university, and that was it. Met him that day, met his family that day, and we've been together ever since. Nearly 9 years together, now.
  • Jovialation
    Jovialation Posts: 7,632 Member
    haha Ive never tried any actual "dating" sites, but I did find my current bf (and the one before him) on myspace.
    I dont know if they still have it, but you used to be able to search for people with certain interests in a certain distance from your location.
    My current and I have been together on and off for 5 years (of course, we were broken up for a year at some point, but as soon as we started talking again there was that attraction again lol)

    So....I dont know if dating sites are worth paying for if youre willing to randomly message people that seem interesting :P
  • Laceylala
    Laceylala Posts: 3,094 Member
    I've been married to the guy I met on match.com for five years this September. We lived 180 miles apart when we met.

    My friend married her guy from EHarmony. She is super super picky and that site worked for her.

    My other friend has been in a long term relationship (7+ yrs) with a guy she met on match.com.

    I found match.com to be fun.
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
    married to a guy I met on Lavalife - 6 years this October, 2 princesses :heart:
    I dated a lot of jacka$$es, liars, narcissists - about a year before I met my husband.
  • squoozyq
    squoozyq Posts: 305
    married to a guy I met on Lavalife - 6 years this October, 2 princesses :heart:
    I dated a lot of jacka$$es, liars, narcissists - about a year before I met my husband.
    How funny is it that I met my husband on lavalife and we have two daughters too! Hmmmm.......strange.
    We married October 10th....and have been together 5 years......wow, weird man.
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
    Awesome - we married October 23rd :)
    How old are your girls?
  • squoozyq
    squoozyq Posts: 305
    Our girls are 3 and 1.....too funny eh?
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
    and your canadian too - and we are looking at the same target weight.... we're living parallel lives!
  • I tried E Harmony 4 years ago and had no luck. I went to Match.com and Plentyoffish. I had better results with Plentyoffish and its free!
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    I met my husband on Match.com - we've been married almost 5 years and together for 7. He never showed up on my "matches" because he did not want kids and well... I had one. We met one night while we were both online and bored... he's the love of my life and I knew it the moment I met him in real life. We talked on the phone for about 2 weeks before we met in person.

    A couple of months before we met he tried to sign up for E Harmony and was rejected. I have no idea WHY they would reject him... he's truly the best person I know. He's financially sound, emotionally stable, loving, caring, giving and as it turns out... the best dad a kid could ever have asked for.

    On the other hand - one of the strangest guys I've ever known - was accepted on E Harmony and has had a million first dates.

    I have several friends who met their spouses on Match.com and I'd recommend it to anyone. Definitely be honest about who you are and what you want. Put a recent picture on the website. Someone is either going to like you for YOU or not... better to have that all out of the way before you meet. Be picky.... google usernames... it can tell you a lot. Also... when you go to meet someone for the first time - have a "code" set up with a friend... so they know to send the cavalry if things go awry.
    The first guy I dated on Match.com took me to a mexican restaurant. I had my mom call me mid-meal. She knew that if I said I ordered the enchiladas... all was good. Tacos.... create an "emergency". Chile Rallenos... call 911. LOL - I told her it was enchiladas - with that guy it should have been tacos.
  • theologynerd
    theologynerd Posts: 264 Member
    I found e-Harmony too restrictive as well. Then I went on to Match.com. I was simply looking for a blind date because I had never been on one before. After I had my mediocre blind date, I was satisfied, and went to cancel Match. It did take a few months, which was frustrating, but in the meantime started chatting with a soldier deployed in Iraq. I was getting my degree in theology at the time, and he was a Christian far from home. We became friends simply to discuss faith. This summer will be 2 years of marriage bliss that I didn't know was possible!
  • maestrachistosa
    maestrachistosa Posts: 202 Member
    I was on Match for about 5 years with no luck. Very few of my dates were "second-date-worthy". But, I stuck with it so long because many of my friends had success and were married from Match. For me, it was too much work to have to constantly search for people, get up the nerve to contact them, and then not really hear back...or, finally go on a date, only to realize that we didn't "fit".

    Then I tried eHarmony, and for me, the difference was clear. Most of my dates were "second-date-worthy", and I am engaged to "Guy Number 4" right now. For me, the long questionnaire was worthwhile because it really made a difference in pairing me with compatible people.

    It certainly sounds like what works for some people does not necessarily work for all. I would just give something a try, and know that if you are not happy with it, there are plenty of other options out there. Good luck!
  • melliz73
    melliz73 Posts: 14
    Tried eHarmony and match.com at the same time...mostly to just meet some people since I had just moved to the area...ended up hating eHarmony but met my current BF on match. We were really perfect for each other all the way around but spent the first month or so emailing and then talking on the phone. Our first date sealed the deal and we have been together for 3 years!
  • missygal
    missygal Posts: 60
    I met my husband 12 years ago from a dating thing in the paper called Introductions. (don't think its around anymore) We talked for awhile before actually meeting...then that same day he went to my birthday dinner with my entire family, a movie that evening, then church the next day! I knew I had a keeper or a stalker lol!

    Been married 10 years now...very happy!!!
  • DeathIsMyGift
    DeathIsMyGift Posts: 434 Member
    A few years ago I tried signing up for an eHarmony account. Being a lesbian, I was unsuccessful as they do not have a I am a "Woman"--Looking for "Woman". eHarmony is for breeders only so I was out of luck. Good thing I didn't need luck though.....I'm happy as ever now with my ex-girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-girlfriend.
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    A few years ago I tried signing up for an eHarmony account. Being a lesbian, I was unsuccessful as they do not have a I am a "Woman"--Looking for "Woman". eHarmony is for breeders only so I was out of luck. Good thing I didn't need luck though.....I'm happy as ever now with my ex-girlfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-girlfriend.

    First of all... LOL!!! Second... hmmmm... interesting what you said about "breeders" - I wonder if that's why EHarmony rejected my husband ... because he didn't want to have children? Oh well - glad that he wasn't successful on EHarmony because then I'd have never met him...
    Glad that you've found happiness!
This discussion has been closed.