iv never had a girlfriend dont laugh
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That means you might actually have faith in women
It was a joke guys.
No really. It's not a big deal brother. Give it time and you will meet her when you least expect it.0 -
I'm 22 and I've never had a boyfriend. God will send the right person along when it's the right time for you.0
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Don't feel bad... I never had a wife or girlfriend who ever treated me with respect. She stepped all over me because I was too nice.
Just goes to show that I will never be that nice again..... Nice guys will always finish last.
I hate when men say this. I think theres a difference between being nice and being spineless. Nice is treating her with kindness and respect being spineless is letting her treat you however she wants. Nobody wants someone who lacks respect for themselves. I'm nice (though you probably can't tell) but I wouldn't let someone take advantage of me.
Agreed. I am a nice, polite guy. But I am also assertive. I dont allow anyone to step on me.
And I think women respect that. Or maybe it's just me I find a guy who can put his foot down on certain issues kinda hot0 -
Patience man. You can look and look and look and find nothing. I went through a ton of relationships and then a massive dry spell. Then, when I wasn't paying attention (i.e. trying) my then girlfriend and now wife just fell in front of me. You have no idea where your mate will show up. If you look constantly you will never find it. Forest for the trees kind of thing. Forget about it and keep doing your daily thing. Your mate will fall in to the fold of your life without you knowing it.
Edit: You like cooking. Nothing was more magical for me than having a woman over for dinner and cooking her an amazing meal. Take that talent to the next level. I will never forget cooking Chicken Piccata for my now wife. She just melted with a good meal. Go for it!0 -
Don't worry, I was 21 when I had my first boyfriend. Stayed with him for 2 years
And now, I have been with my second boyfriend for almost 3 years and we are getting married in August!!
That's like me :-) I had my 1st boyfriend when I was 22. Started dating my second boyfriend when I was 24 and we were married 3 years later. Happily married since June 2005 :-) Congratulations & best wishes for your upcoming wedding!!!0 -
all you single people should just pair off already....
You seem very negative.
because this man comes on here telling us of something he is ashamed of and everyone is all "i'm this age and never dated and in no rush", ok, but this isn't about you, it is about him!!!! he wanted support and motivation, some people offered him advice, some support, some motivation, but i don't find it motivating to suggest he become accepting of something that is making him feel shamed, he should set some goals for himself and go get them, otherwise, he is sitting there being a lump on log. i know way too many people in their mid and late 20s that have never dated, and trust me all of my friends think it is weird, our families think it is weird, because it is weird in this culture and time. no one is saying get married, but for people to just never date anyone ever in their 20s for no other reason than they are seeking mr./mrs. right (which btw is ludicrous because your standards are far too high) is weird. you can have fun, go on dates, and still focus on yourself...if anything you are focusing more on yourself. i just feel that all those posts supporting him not dating is basically just telling him to remain stagnant and/or degenerate. /negativity0 -
I'm 24, and have never had a real boyfriend or even sex for that matter... and I am perfectly ok with it.
Hell, I didn't even start dating really until this past summer... and again, it's perfectly ok.
Not everyone progresses at the same time, and some people take longer then others.. some never date or get married.
I'm not going to do something because people think I should. To me, thats an awful reason to do anything.0 -
all you single people should just pair off already....
You seem very negative.
because this man comes on here telling us of something he is ashamed of and everyone is all "i'm this age and never dated and in no rush", ok, but this isn't about you, it is about him!!!! he wanted support and motivation, some people offered him advice, some support, some motivation, but i don't find it motivating to suggest he become accepting of something that is making him feel shamed, he should set some goals for himself and go get them, otherwise, he is sitting there being a lump on log. i know way too many people in their mid and late 20s that have never dated, and trust me all of my friends think it is weird, our families think it is weird, because it is weird in this culture and time. no one is saying get married, but for people to just never date anyone ever in their 20s for no other reason than they are seeking mr./mrs. right (which btw is ludicrous because your standards are far too high) is weird. you can have fun, go on dates, and still focus on yourself...if anything you are focusing more on yourself. i just feel that all those posts supporting him not dating is basically just telling him to remain stagnant and/or degenerate. /negativity
No they are trying to show him it is nothing to be ashamed of. not telling him to accept the shame.
I never had a girlfriend till I got together with my ex when I was 29 and have not dated since. If that makes me weird, then I really don't care, yes i'd probably like to have dated more, and been in a relationship earlier but I wasn't but I have awesome friends and memories from my life, So anyone who wants to call me i'm weird for that can take a running jump.
Your post is negative as you are telling him there is something wrong with him for not having done so, the other messages are trying to show that at some point it will happen. How do you know he is sitting there like a lump on a log.
Finally there is nothing wrong with looking for Mr/Mrs Right, Mr/Mrs Perfect is a different matter, but if you don't find Mr/Mrs right then whats the point of being in a relationship with them if they're not right for you.
At the end of the day, he needs to be happy with himself before he tries to find it with anyone else, otherwise it is just papering over the cracks which will reappear, and I am speaking from direct experience here.0 -
My sister didn't meet her 1st boyfriend boyfriend until she turned 21. They have been together 2 years now. She says he was her 1st boyfriend and also her last... You don't need to date many sometimes you just need to date "the one". Theres no rush either! Just work on making yourself happy. If you love yourself and have confidence you will feel good with or without a girlfriend- PLUS girls find happy confident men very attractive! 0
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... iv kind of lost the hope of finding the right one i tried numerous times even when i was young ...
YOU'RE !
TWENTY !
ONE !
Oh, FFS :noway:0 -
all you single people should just pair off already....
You seem very negative.
because this man comes on here telling us of something he is ashamed of and everyone is all "i'm this age and never dated and in no rush", ok, but this isn't about you, it is about him!!!! he wanted support and motivation, some people offered him advice, some support, some motivation, but i don't find it motivating to suggest he become accepting of something that is making him feel shamed, he should set some goals for himself and go get them, otherwise, he is sitting there being a lump on log. i know way too many people in their mid and late 20s that have never dated, and trust me all of my friends think it is weird, our families think it is weird, because it is weird in this culture and time. no one is saying get married, but for people to just never date anyone ever in their 20s for no other reason than they are seeking mr./mrs. right (which btw is ludicrous because your standards are far too high) is weird. you can have fun, go on dates, and still focus on yourself...if anything you are focusing more on yourself. i just feel that all those posts supporting him not dating is basically just telling him to remain stagnant and/or degenerate. /negativity
No they are trying to show him it is nothing to be ashamed of. not telling him to accept the shame.
I never had a girlfriend till I got together with my ex when I was 29 and have not dated since. If that makes me weird, then I really don't care, yes i'd probably like to have dated more, and been in a relationship earlier but I wasn't but I have awesome friends and memories from my life, So anyone who wants to call me i'm weird for that can take a running jump.
Your post is negative as you are telling him there is something wrong with him for not having done so, the other messages are trying to show that at some point it will happen. How do you know he is sitting there like a lump on a log.
Finally there is nothing wrong with looking for Mr/Mrs Right, Mr/Mrs Perfect is a different matter, but if you don't find Mr/Mrs right then whats the point of being in a relationship with them if they're not right for you.
At the end of the day, he needs to be happy with himself before he tries to find it with anyone else, otherwise it is just papering over the cracks which will reappear, and I am speaking from direct experience here.
the behaviour is weird, and it is just a difference of opinion, i truly think life is too vast with too many opportunities, and too many powerful connections that people can make with one another, even if those connections are short and fleeting...it is a waste to not experience them...but again, my opinion. sorry if i came off by saying it is weird, but i don't find it negative at all to see what could be, and the positivity that he could find for himself.0 -
God loves you. (john 3:16), and even though most of us want a lover, if you trust Jesus you can be sure that you will never be alone (Deuteronomy 31:6)
"Shyness is nice, and, Shyness can stop you,
From doing all the things in life you'd like to.
So If there's something you'd like to try,
Ask me, I wont say no, how could I?"
(Morrisey, 1986)
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Don't feel bad... I never had a wife or girlfriend who ever treated me with respect. She stepped all over me because I was too nice.
Just goes to show that I will never be that nice again..... Nice guys will always finish last.
Women don't dislike nice guys.
They dislike guys who don't have enough self respect to stand up for themselves.
Saying you're "nice" is a cop out. What you probably lack is assertiveness.
Edit: Punctuation. It IS important.
Women love *actual* nice guys. What we don't like, and can see right through, are guys who think they have perfected being a "Nice Guy(tm)" in order to get what they want.
OP, seriously. Go out and enjoy life, love yourself for who you are. Eventually your path will cross with women who see your worth and love you for you. Don't be fake, don't hide, and don't judge yourself too harshly for the awkward first steps. I dated a guy in college who was 25 (I was 27) who had never been kissed. He was an amazing guy and an *amazing* boyfriend.0 -
but i don't find it negative at all to see what could be, and the positivity that he could find for himself.
I don't disagree with that, like I say despite my relationship history or lack of it I have amazing memories, experiences and friends, but if he chooses not to do that it doesn't make him weird, thats just his choice. but to enjoy anything else in life you have to be happy with yourself. trust me I've been where I wasn't and its a dark place. IF its the same for the OP then he needs to sort that before he does anything else or none of the rest of it will mean half as much.0
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