Absolutely Devastated
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I take it as a positive that you haven't regained all that you lost though so you are already ahead of the game. Your motivations are great and you can do this. Friend request coming. I am back after having gained it all back from two years ago when I lost 40 using this site. Now I am totally committed that this is a lifestyle and not a diet and something I will need to follow forever.
Hang in there!!!!0 -
We'll all be here for you as you go down this new journey. I know you probably can't see it right now, but you'll be better off because of it. It's not you with the problem, it was never you. It was/is him.0
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Hey Sista, REAL IS MY FAVORITE, so let's be be friends!!!0
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I'm going to send you a Friend request...I can relate...oh girl can I ever relate. You see, this happened to me as well..except my ex-douche bag was 54 y/o and his new love was 36 y/o. That was 2 years ago and I had already lost 65 lbs and was 1 semester shy of getting my Bachelors degree. I fell apart for awhile but I eventually realized my self worth and here I am. I'm here for you if you need to talk.0
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im sorry to hear that! you will be better off!!!0
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I feel you! I Was doing ok until my ex walked out. He was a manipulative alcoholic. I just thought that I couldn't be able to stand on my own. It was devestating when he left, but I quickly realized I dodged a bullet! However, I picked up bad habits in the mean time. You've done this one in a controling situation with your ex. Just think about how much better this will be doing it without that control behind you. You've got this!0
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Long story short, I weighted 236 lbs at my heaviest. I worked out, did yoga, ate right and lost over 80lbs to reach my goal of 150. Then life fell apart. My husband ( who was abusive) left me, you would think this was a good thing but for some reason it sent me into a spiral wondering if everything he had said all along was right. The fact that he proceeded to date a girl still in highschool only compounded my confusion. I lost my routine and my focus and gained back to almost 180. My son is three and I want to be the healthy run around town mom with him...but I am in dire need for supportive friends to guide me back to the positive person that I was once upon a time. Thank you all
Feel free to add me. Despite the circumstances of your break up, I am VERY glad to hear you are no longer involved in that situation. You are FAR MORE VALUABLE than being somebody's punching bag.0 -
I'm sorry abut your situation, abusive relationships are the most terrible things. I hope you'll get out of your spiral soon with a healthy vengeance and use it as fuel to keep you going. You're stronger than you think you are, and extremely beautiful, despite what you think you see in the mirror. Congratulations on getting poison out of your life, now focus on you and your son, and happiness will follow shortly!0
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I think some cheating husbands say & do things so they can convince themselves that their cheating is justified. They try to make you out to be the horrible wife. Then, of course he'd have to stray. I bought into what my husband told me at first. That I was too
fat & ugly. It was my fault he strayed. Then, after she kicked him out, he kept trying to come around the house for 2yrs.!
I know it's hard, but you have to be strong for yourself and your child. He has already taken up too much of your time and energy.
He is not worthy of YOU! You will lose the weight, and he will be eating his heart out. Just don't let him back in.0 -
Hi, I am here to support you too. Friend request coming your way0
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You can add me... My hubby is still there but its rocky.. and i am an emotional eater so depending on the day i can spiral into binging pretty quick... You have my support0
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Sorry to put it this way, but brace yourself. Here are some of the amazing things that came out of this situation:
-You have a child you care dearly for who loves you more than anything, who is depending on you right now
-You only gained back 30 pounds - although it has devastated you, which I understand, it could have been far more
-Your husband, who is dating an underage girl and who was abusing you, has now done the best possible thing he could - leave you and force you to live for yourself and no longer for him
Take this as a sign that your life is now in your own hands - don't buckle under the pressure of life. Use this as motivation to change yourself for the better. Talk to a counselor because you are probably VERY vulnerable right now and susceptible to your ex-husband's antics, should he try and get back into your life.0 -
Boy can I relate....in a backwards way. Prior to my brave escape from a very abusive and cheating husband of 12 years (he had not allowed me to work and eventually whittled away all my friends, family and self-esteem) I had been working out extensively as an escape. I did yoga daily, walked a lot and got down from 160 to 125. After I got out of that situation, my mother soothed me with food of all kinds and since I wasn't working out, I gained all my weight back.
I was also devastated until I reminded myself that I still had control to work out. I started with very short walks to the park and back and then began to challenge myself to go further. Today I walk an average of 4 miles per day and am slowly adding yoga back into my weekly routine.
A little known fact about me....I spent almost 2 months in a psychiatric hospital (and not ashamed) to overcome the trauma and depression that my marriage left me with. They put me on medication that is well-known to cause weight. I decided to stay on it for a while because healthy mind is just as important as healthy body. Still, I despised the side effects and weight gain. This month, I embarked on a new and frightening journey to cope with my depression and anxiety without medications. The walking and yoga is said to help and I have added Omega 3, D3, and B complex (all said and proven to assist brain function including warding off depression and anxiety).
You can do this...you CAN be the healthy mum to your little boy and the healthy person to YOU. You overcame so much already - you can do it!0 -
"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent"...
I'm sending a FR now Love yourself enough to do this and start your healing!0 -
Anyone is welcome to add me... Been at this for seven months and I've dropped 124... Don't try to get back to being someone that you were, strive to become the person you dream of being! You are capable of so much more than you ever did in the past. Its true for all of us! Choose the person you want to become and make the changes to be that person. Its not being fake its becoming what you want to be.0
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You have done it once you can do it again.
Your Ex sounds like he has some serious problems (a high school girl? he sounds really creepy!!) and his actions speak volumes about the sort of person he is. That is an instant weight loss of the best kind right there when he left.
Now you can be YOU. Totally and 100% honestly you, without trying to tippy toe around some psycho partner. You and your son do not need the drama.
Now lets get you FIT girl!!
Perfectly said! Welcome to MFP!0 -
Your confusion and hurt are understandable, normal, expected and will be temporary. Now you are free to make yourself and your life exactly what you want them to be. Strengthen your boundaries for everyone, but especially for your ex. Don't let him hurt you again. This protects both you and your child. I've been there, too, and can tell you it is very do-able to become a strong, independent, self-sufficient woman who knows she deserves nothing but the best from everyone, including herself. Remember to take stock of your accomplishments periodically to note your progress and you'll see you've come far for the better. Once your boundaries are strong and you know, really know, your worth, the types of people in your life will align with that and you will find yourself with the best friends and maybe even the man of your dreams. I know that may sound impossible now, but it can be done and you can do it.
I agree that seeing a counselor can be very helpful. It is one of the first things you should do to strengthen your boundaries, recognize your self-worth and create a plan of action to improve your life.0 -
You can do it. You lost it once. You will do it again. We all get monkey wrench thrown in our lives and you've been tossed a big one. That baby of yours, however, is the perfect motivation. I'm pulling for you.0
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Hi,
Sorry to hear about your life.I would love to be your friend and support.I am 188 pounds and looking for ways to reduce the extra pounds.
I try to think of 1 positive thing a day.and keep at it.even if my body says please don't exercise today,I try to do so.and I do.so that i know the negative factor is getting pummeled.
I will try to send you a positive thing i think of everyday.Maybe that might help.
and also i try to exercise once before breakfast and one after lunch.I have started measuring all my food and also my drinks.and immediatly record it on my fitnesspal.that helps me from overeating.I have lost 3 pounds sofar.so stay with me sister.we can work through this mess called life.0 -
Feel free to add me. We can cheer each other on.0
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