Should I be upset or is she right?

girl you are doing this for yourself and i love how you are continuing doing things for yourself. family and friends will do whatever it takes to take a person dreams away if they dont understand how much it means to feel the way you feel. just wishing to be able to loss some weight here and there and feel great about yourself. i dont think you have self-esteem issues. cause the self-esteems comes from the inner you and how you feel on the outside. and if you dont feel great when you are this big then that is something you are working on. have you notice that when you did lose the weight did your self-esteem improved? if it didnt. it cause you not yet comfortable at your weight. yet. but you feel as if you are getting healthier. (which you are). i think she feels as if you are fulfilling your dreams that she cant see the picture and maybe she even wishes to be skinny. but you gotta remember. she is at a different lvl then you are. you are going for a higher level and she is still on the lower level. it is sooo easy to pull someone down when you are in a higher ground, then it is to pull someone up with you. that is why you gotta protect yourself from the negative words and negative supports. and put a barrier around you.

people have told me im fine the way i am. but was i happy about it. did they know that being this big could effect my health or it can be permanent? no they didnt. my mom was soooo concern about my weight. i decided one day i eat healthier for about 2 weeks and my mom took me to the doctor to check if there was anything wrong with me. and found that my thyroid was the issues. and that is preventing me to lose weight even when i was eating healthier. i wouldnt go down a lb.. and it sucks.. finally i got the pills to help with my thyroid and i havent felt better than i ever did in my entire life. that i was eating healthier and exercising. it was the time to make a change and the time to finally take care of myself the right way. not just some real quick diet. and then i found this site. and i am sooo please that i did. cause if it wasnt for this site i wouldnt have lost the weight i have lost so far with the friends and the support.

remember this is for you not for anyone else.

I hate to say it, but it sounds like your sister in law is jealous of you. If you feel good loosing weight and getting healthy keep doing it. You will have a longer happier life down the road. I have known several heavy people who put people down those who are trying to loose weight, in fact I'm dealing with one now.

Don't listen to a word your sister in law says, all that matters is how you feel in the end.

Please do not let someone sabotage what you are doing!!!!! It takes a lot of strength and courage to change your lifestyle and eating habits. Unfortunately, not everyone around you is going to be supportive of your change. But you’re not doing this for everyone else; you’re doing it for you. Think of all the reason why you decided to make this change and all the benefit there are to being healthier. She is much more at risk for heart disease, diabetes and a long list of other problems.

I know what it is like to have low self-esteem; I used to say all the time that I was happy being overweight but I never really was. I just figured that if I said it enough I would convince myself. I had to learn to love me. It’s cliché but it’s true.

Please, please, please, don’t left someone discourage you from being healthier and living your life.

I also suffer form low self-esteem and a big part of it (no pun intended) is because of my weight. I don't like to shop for nice clothes if it doesn't hide the fat. I can't understand how heavy women can walk around in swim suits, revealing clothes, etc. and not seem to be bothered by their looks. I bet they like themselves the way they are.

We don't have to like the way we look but we need to learn to love ourselves. By loving ourselves we will want to take care of our bodies, which means losing the weight. I don't want to be obessesd with thinking that if I look good, people will like me and I will like myself.

I guess the first step to learning to love ourselves is to make a list of all our positive attributes. Another would be to keep a journal and write down all the good things we do or have had done to us. I am a Chrisitan so I also read in the bible how much I am loved by God and how He feels about me.

I wouldn't worry about your sister-in-law's comments. Be strong and maybe she will join you as she sees how heathy you are becoming!

God Bless,
Jeana

My brother actually has told her once or twice and she gets so upset that he just gave up. He plays soccer and stays active, but I've noticed that she also tries to sabotage his health, he feeds him crazy and when he doesn't want to eat she gets upset, she hates the fact that he plays soccer, but in his defense - he's trying to stay healthy because he's had stomach problems. I think I'm seeing things clearer now. It's sad.

omg that is soooo sad... that she is also trying to do this to your brother... im sorry chica.. but she needs helps cause she cant do that to your brother health. thats why he loves the sports. and she hates it??? what the hell... >.< she shouldnt be mad that he wants to do soccer. she should be supportive.

well, she wont change. then things will get rough for your brother and her. and they might end up a divorce... >.< if things dont get straight now... cause the health will also destroy a relationship if they dont talk it out or work it out. something needs to be done

I'm sure this has been said but I'm going to add my 2 cents. She may very well love herself just the way she is. However, she is not healthy the way she is. Or she may just be saying all this to make herself feel better. She wants you to be fat and happy together. Loving yourself at any size is a huge task. One that people struggle with everyday. You need to do this for you. Not anybody else. You want the healthy lifestyle. You want to be able to look in the mirror and see you are beautiful inside and out. Good luck!

It seems as though she doesn't want to be the only one that's overweight...and by derailing you...she can keep you overweight. She is threatened by your interest in losing weight...and not just losing weight but being healthier. I know many women who are thin but they are not by any means healthy. Do this for yourself and maybe once she sees how healthy you are she might come around to your way of thinking. Keep talking to her but don't put any pressure on her or it may backfire.

This is exactly right. It has been proven that u mimic the circle you are in...even without realizing it. Its best to stick on your course that your ARE RIGHT on and that will rub off on her do a run/walk and convince her to join you she will be inspired..and of course thetre are thin women who are just as unhealthy...

That expression "Misery Loves Company" rings true here. I have yo-yo-ed with weight for years, and through them, I have lost friends who did not like the "thin" me--the happy, hard-working me. They liked the "fat" me--the lazy, sit around and eat junk me. I saw a saying once that I love "Nothing tastes as good as being thinner feels!" Let her have the cheese steak, and you can have the satisfaction of knowing you are doing what is right for your body. :flowerforyou:

I agree with everyone here. You just keep kicking *kitten* and don't let her (or anyone!) bring you down. That was a
d!ck move though--sending you that pic of a philly cheese steak. She just sounds jealous and insecure because you are in health mode. Don't let it derail you...be happy...be healthy....do your thing

I think she's not confident. I think she's trying to get you to feel okay with yourself so her weight will be considered okay too. If you're losing and she's not then she'll feel that she isn't in a good place. Misery loves company. Keep doing what you are doing... I bet you'll inspire her to be more healthy. You should make a healthy version of the philly cheese steak (use ground turkey or very lean beef and low fat cheese on a whole wheat bun) and invite her for dinner. Show her she doesn't have to give up good food. That there are healthier versions. It's not necessarily ONLY about weight loss... your whole body appreciates a healthy lifestyle. All of your favorite fast foods and junk foods will be replaced by new favorite healthy meals. You'll see. All of that will start to seem disgusting.

Keep at it! You're doing fantastic! She knows that as well.

Truth is, she probably isnt' happy the way she is. I know that a lot of people see the success of others as an affront to them. The fact that you're losing weight is drawing more attention to how big she is and the fact that she ISN'T losing weight. Misery loves company- and if she has a friend who is heavy like her, she can eat what she wants and be however big she wants, and justify it to herself by saying, "Well, so-and-so does it too."

Just as you don't want her preaching to you, though, don't preach to her. She's on her own journey, and she'll either lose weight or not lose weight of her own free will. You can hope that your success will inspire her, but don't shove it down her throat.

I'd just let her know that you're happy with where you are, that you love yourself and your body and it's BECAUSE of your self-love that you want to take better care of yourself. If she doesn't want to copy your lifestyle choices she doesn't have to but she needs to stop trying to sabotage your efforts because her actions are hurtful and unfair.

She is definitely not right! Sounds like she is the one with the problem. You keep your spirits up and keep doing what you are doing for yourself. If she doesn't want to tag along....leave her behind. You will be a lot healthier physically and emotionally without her!

Don't let her drag you down!

So sad that she lying to herself and everyone else that much:sad: Who could be that overweight and so happy and confident..We all became overweight for one reason or another and most of the time its not because we were so happy that we ate and ate:) Dont let her pull you into her dreamworld---stay here in the real world at MFP with all of us:flowerforyou:

I think she's not confident. I think she's trying to get you to feel okay with yourself so her weight will be considered okay too. If you're losing and she's not then she'll feel that she isn't in a good place. Misery loves company. Keep doing what you are doing... I bet you'll inspire her to be more healthy. You should make a healthy version of the philly cheese steak (use ground turkey or very lean beef and low fat cheese on a whole wheat bun) and invite her for dinner. Show her she doesn't have to give up good food. That there are healthier versions. It's not necessarily ONLY about weight loss... your whole body appreciates a healthy lifestyle. All of your favorite fast foods and junk foods will be replaced by new favorite healthy meals. You'll see. All of that will start to seem disgusting.

Keep at it! You're doing fantastic! She knows that as well.

Chicken cheese steak! YUM! just use thin sliced chicken breast instead of steak and it changes it all around and it's JUST as tasty!

I think she's not confident. I think she's trying to get you to feel okay with yourself so her weight will be considered okay too. If you're losing and she's not then she'll feel that she isn't in a good place. Misery loves company. Keep doing what you are doing... I bet you'll inspire her to be more healthy. You should make a healthy version of the philly cheese steak (use ground turkey or very lean beef and low fat cheese on a whole wheat bun) and invite her for dinner. Show her she doesn't have to give up good food. That there are healthier versions. It's not necessarily ONLY about weight loss... your whole body appreciates a healthy lifestyle. All of your favorite fast foods and junk foods will be replaced by new favorite healthy meals. You'll see. All of that will start to seem disgusting.

Keep at it! You're doing fantastic! She knows that as well.

Chicken cheese steak! YUM! just use thin sliced chicken breast instead of steak and it changes it all around and it's JUST as tasty!

YUm! Yes it easy very tasty!