Should I be upset or is she right?

Make it more about being healthy than the weight aspect. Eating all that crap all the time is not good for you no matter what you weigh.

Ding ding ding!!!

It's great to love yourself at any size (something I don't do). But... you obviously don't love yourself very much if you're killing yourself by eating so much food that is so horrible for you. The fact that she easily got winded just *walking* proves she's not taking her health into consideration at all. How can you truly love yourself and not care about your health? I think the answer to that question is you can't.

I love food, too. But I've figured out how to continue my love affair while being much much much healthier. It is possible to love and enjoy food and be healthy.

Edit: I think you should text her back a picture of a diseased heart.

Just my two cents and some thoughts I have. Maybe SHE really isn't happy with herself and she wants to have someone to be "fat" with her so she's sabotaging you. As far as her sending pictures of bad foods, knowing that you are really trying to watch what you are eating, is wrong. That's like putting crack in front of a crackhead and telling them they can't have any! I'd be pissed off if someone did that to me knowing how hard I was trying to loose weight. Sounds like she's not being sensitive to your needs. Maybe you can have a serious talk with her and just put it on the line there, tell her nicely that if she's happy with the way she is, that's fine, but you are doing this for you and you would appreciate her support. If she's a true friend, she'll listen and provide whatever support you need (whether that be going on walks or not talking about bad foods and you not talking with her about counting calories). When you loose the weight and if you still don't feel good about yourself, then you can revisit the self-esteem thing. But it's not for her to say. Stay focused girl and if it means distancing yourself from her for a bit, then by all means . . .

On another note, and a true example of being supportive, he knows I am doing this and he's totally supportive of me. When it's his turn to do dinner, he's always asking me what I can have and what I can't have. He goes out of my way to buy the 90 calorie fudge bars for dessert. When we go out to dinner, he tries to find restaurants that he knows I can eat something at. He'll give up the tv for me when I want to do Jillian. He watches our son whenever I need to go for a powerwalk without the stroller. He NEVER sends me photos of philly cheese steaks. He's just there for me. That's what a true friend would do for the other.

Just my two cents . . . good luck!

i'm just gonna say ditto because everyone else has covered it! Do it for you, tell her she needs to respect where you are, and that you'll respect where she is, and move on. I think she likes to tell you that she feels beautiful the way she is, but i doubt that she really truly believes it, because if she did, she wouldn't be worried about what you're doing. she doesn't want to be left behind. you keep pushing though - you'll feel better about it in the end! don't let her derail you!

Well first of all, you shouldn't let your weight define how happy you are with yourself. You need to learn to be happy no matter where you are in your life. If you want to lose weight and you feel good about doing it, than do NOT allow her attitude to derail you. Allowing someone to mentaly push you around, and cause you to second guess yourself can show low self esteem as well. She may play on that and try to use her opinion to derail you from your goals.

She claims she's happy the way she is. So tell her you respect that and you love her and nothing will change between you. But she needs to return that respect and maybe give you some support as well. Maybe let her know its for health reasons, and your not asking her to join you, but to support you.

I don't think she's as happy as she's claiming she is. Your brother has admitted she's gained too much, and he's tried to talk to her, and she shuts him out. It dosen't mean she forgot about it. She might be scared that he will leave her or that people are trying to change her like she's not good enough anymore.

Showing you pics of food you can't have and talking about it, thats sabatoge.
If she keeps it up, fight fire with fire. She sends you pics of fatty foods, than send her a pic of something healthy. If she refuses to support you, than you may have to make a difficult choice and get rid of your toxic friend. That right there can show self esteem, by beleving in yourself and taking a stand to get yourself healthy.

she doesnt like that your skinner then her and is trying to make you fat with her. DONT BE FAT YOU HAVE SELF ESTEEM ISSUES BECAUSE OF FAT!

girl you are doing this for yourself and i love how you are continuing doing things for yourself. family and friends will do whatever it takes to take a person dreams away if they dont understand how much it means to feel the way you feel. just wishing to be able to loss some weight here and there and feel great about yourself. i dont think you have self-esteem issues. cause the self-esteems comes from the inner you and how you feel on the outside. and if you dont feel great when you are this big then that is something you are working on. have you notice that when you did lose the weight did your self-esteem improved? if it didnt. it cause you not yet comfortable at your weight. yet. but you feel as if you are getting healthier. (which you are). i think she feels as if you are fulfilling your dreams that she cant see the picture and maybe she even wishes to be skinny. but you gotta remember. she is at a different lvl then you are. you are going for a higher level and she is still on the lower level. it is sooo easy to pull someone down when you are in a higher ground, then it is to pull someone up with you. that is why you gotta protect yourself from the negative words and negative supports. and put a barrier around you.

people have told me im fine the way i am. but was i happy about it. did they know that being this big could effect my health or it can be permanent? no they didnt. my mom was soooo concern about my weight. i decided one day i eat healthier for about 2 weeks and my mom took me to the doctor to check if there was anything wrong with me. and found that my thyroid was the issues. and that is preventing me to lose weight even when i was eating healthier. i wouldnt go down a lb.. and it sucks.. finally i got the pills to help with my thyroid and i havent felt better than i ever did in my entire life. that i was eating healthier and exercising. it was the time to make a change and the time to finally take care of myself the right way. not just some real quick diet. and then i found this site. and i am sooo please that i did. cause if it wasnt for this site i wouldnt have lost the weight i have lost so far with the friends and the support.

remember this is for you not for anyone else.

I hate to say it, but it sounds like your sister in law is jealous of you. If you feel good loosing weight and getting healthy keep doing it. You will have a longer happier life down the road. I have known several heavy people who put people down those who are trying to loose weight, in fact I'm dealing with one now.

Don't listen to a word your sister in law says, all that matters is how you feel in the end.

Please do not let someone sabotage what you are doing!!!!! It takes a lot of strength and courage to change your lifestyle and eating habits. Unfortunately, not everyone around you is going to be supportive of your change. But you’re not doing this for everyone else; you’re doing it for you. Think of all the reason why you decided to make this change and all the benefit there are to being healthier. She is much more at risk for heart disease, diabetes and a long list of other problems.

I know what it is like to have low self-esteem; I used to say all the time that I was happy being overweight but I never really was. I just figured that if I said it enough I would convince myself. I had to learn to love me. It’s cliché but it’s true.

Please, please, please, don’t left someone discourage you from being healthier and living your life.

I also suffer form low self-esteem and a big part of it (no pun intended) is because of my weight. I don't like to shop for nice clothes if it doesn't hide the fat. I can't understand how heavy women can walk around in swim suits, revealing clothes, etc. and not seem to be bothered by their looks. I bet they like themselves the way they are.

We don't have to like the way we look but we need to learn to love ourselves. By loving ourselves we will want to take care of our bodies, which means losing the weight. I don't want to be obessesd with thinking that if I look good, people will like me and I will like myself.

I guess the first step to learning to love ourselves is to make a list of all our positive attributes. Another would be to keep a journal and write down all the good things we do or have had done to us. I am a Chrisitan so I also read in the bible how much I am loved by God and how He feels about me.

I wouldn't worry about your sister-in-law's comments. Be strong and maybe she will join you as she sees how heathy you are becoming!

God Bless,
Jeana

My brother actually has told her once or twice and she gets so upset that he just gave up. He plays soccer and stays active, but I've noticed that she also tries to sabotage his health, he feeds him crazy and when he doesn't want to eat she gets upset, she hates the fact that he plays soccer, but in his defense - he's trying to stay healthy because he's had stomach problems. I think I'm seeing things clearer now. It's sad.

omg that is soooo sad... that she is also trying to do this to your brother... im sorry chica.. but she needs helps cause she cant do that to your brother health. thats why he loves the sports. and she hates it??? what the hell... >.< she shouldnt be mad that he wants to do soccer. she should be supportive.

well, she wont change. then things will get rough for your brother and her. and they might end up a divorce... >.< if things dont get straight now... cause the health will also destroy a relationship if they dont talk it out or work it out. something needs to be done