Not allowed to diet! arrgh

beautmel
beautmel Posts: 56
in Health and Weight Loss
So I've been the same weight for about 3 years now, always around the 141 lbs mark. I'm 5'9...

Just before Christmas I got down to 137 lbs and was feeling pretty pleased with myself. Fast forward 3 weeks of holiday and festive eating and I've come back 9 pounds heavier. 146lbs. I feel so annoyed and not happy with myself. Hubby signed me up to a gym just before Christmas and I started weight training. I'm back in the gym now picking up where I left off.

The problem is, normally I would have just gone on a diet, maybe Dukan or something to lose the weight but he is banning me from doing any form of diet! Apparently I need the calories for training etc. Which makes sense but it's driving me crazy as i'm not losing anything! In fact, i've gone UP another pound in the last few weeks.

I need some motivation/support to keep going with the weight training. I know it will be worth it in the end but is it possible to change my shape but stay the same weight? Or even weigh more?
«13

Replies

  • ejha77
    ejha77 Posts: 63
    How about not letting your husband 'ban you' from doing what you like? I'd start there.
  • stephl21uk
    stephl21uk Posts: 123 Member
    How about not letting your husband 'ban you' from doing what you like? I'd start there.

    ^^^^^exactly, ur body, do whay you like.....its not up to him!
  • terilou87
    terilou87 Posts: 328 Member
    dont weigh yourself if your doing weights because a pound of fat is a bigger quantity than a pound of muscle try measuring instead you may be losing fat gaining muscle but size can still be going down :)
  • bathsheba_c
    bathsheba_c Posts: 1,873 Member
    How about not letting your husband 'ban you' from doing what you like? I'd start there.

    ^^^^^This

    HOWEVER, you almost certainly did not gain 9 lbs of fat in 3 weeks. Most of it is probably water weight. And 146 lbs is perfectly normal for someone at your height.
  • subconscious_ink
    subconscious_ink Posts: 194 Member
    I know it will be worth it in the end but is it possible to change my shape but stay the same weight? Or even weigh more?

    Absolutely. I've been (somewhat) muscular at 140 and "skinny" at 130, and I looked much better and thinner at the muscular 140. Also, when you first begin lifting weights, sometimes it takes your body a bit to adjust before it starts shedding lbs, especially since you don't seem to have much to lose.
    How about not letting your husband 'ban you' from doing what you like? I'd start there.
    True, but the advice he gave her wasn't bad, unless she's eating A LOT of cals a day. If you take it as advice and not an ultimatum :tongue: If I were her, I'd still log, but make sure not to under-eat.
  • juliesmithdiet
    juliesmithdiet Posts: 33
    I'm just wondering what would happen if my husband banned me from doing anything or I banned him - yep nothing we would do exactly what we wanted and still love each other and support each other.
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
    Um...yes, I have to agree with the people who have suggested you immediately correct this weirdness with your husband telling you what to do with your body. It's your body--you have to be in control of it.

    Apart from than that, you seem far too fixated on the scale, which is pretty counterproductive when you're lifting weights. Take measurements with a measuring tape, go by the way your clothing fits, etc. Don't get caught up in some arbitrary numbers on the scale. It's just not the best way to measure progress, especially when you're talking about a few pounds in either direction. Scales are notoriously stupid. Who cares what you weigh if you're feeling and looking better? I have been the same clothing size at 135 and 150. However, I was way hotter at 150 because I was really strong, muscular, and curvy as opposed to what is known as "skinny fat". If I had been all hung up on the scale, it wouldn't have happened for me.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    How about not letting your husband 'ban you' from doing what you like? I'd start there.

    I think her husband is being sensible to be honest.....You DO need the calories whilst training at the gym, and going on some silly crash diet is a batty idea, so good for him being sensible.

    Eat healthily, workout, and you'll get results. Do some crazy diet and its likely that you'll put it back on anyway.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member


    I need some motivation/support to keep going with the weight training. I know it will be worth it in the end but is it possible to change my shape but stay the same weight? Or even weigh more?


    And also YES, yes it is possible. Take measurements.
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
    I would love to be 146lb and I'm 3" shorter than you! Do your clothes fit nicely? Do you look OK in a swimsuit? If you've got any "loose" bits then keep on with the weight training but don't weigh yourself - as others have said its how you look that matters more than what you weigh!
  • RunDoozer
    RunDoozer Posts: 1,699 Member
    I agree with your husband. You're just going to hurt yourself by under eating and over exercising.

    You need to modify your diet to eat healthy within appropriate calorie amounts for what you're exercising. Not some fad diet.

    Also throw the damn scale away and buy a tape measure and a mirror both are much better indicators of progress than a scale.

    You may not lose weight or possibly even gain weight with a weight training program but you'll look a hell of a lot sexier and healthier. Forget the scale.
  • sandradev1
    sandradev1 Posts: 786 Member
    How about not letting your husband 'ban you' from doing what you like? I'd start there.

    I think her husband is being sensible to be honest.....You DO need the calories whilst training at the gym, and going on some silly crash diet is a batty idea, so good for him being sensible.

    Eat healthily, workout, and you'll get results. Do some crazy diet and its likely that you'll put it back on anyway.


    ^^^ THIS^^^^

    Also as another poster said, put the scales away and get out the tape measure for a while.
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member


    I need some motivation/support to keep going with the weight training. I know it will be worth it in the end but is it possible to change my shape but stay the same weight? Or even weigh more?


    And also YES, yes it is possible. Take measurements.

    http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/07/21/meet-staci-your-new-powerlifting-super-hero/

    Staci proves you can.

    Also Loretta Lynn on these forums, maybe do a search on lifting success stories.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    I agree with your husband. You're just going to hurt yourself by under eating and over exercising.

    You need to modify your diet to eat healthy within appropriate calorie amounts for what you're exercising. Not some fad diet.

    Also throw the damn scale away and buy a tape measure and a mirror both are much better indicators of progress than a scale.

    You may not lose weight or possibly even gain weight with a weight training program but you'll look a hell of a lot sexier and healthier. Forget the scale.

    What he said. (Thanks for saving me having to type.)
  • vpsorrels
    vpsorrels Posts: 35 Member
    Keep telling yourself that muscle weighs more than fat. When you have more muscle you will be toned and more solid. Muscle mass is healthier than fat.
  • tndejong
    tndejong Posts: 463
    you need to concentrate in toning and sculpting and not what is on the scale. your weight is not the problem cause your size seems right for someone your height. im not going to put you down for wanting to look better. but going on some diet is not the answer and wont work for the long term. do you want to try some diet and get the results you just did? these changes are lifestyle changes. not temporary ones. work as a team with your husband to become more active and eat healthy? maybe you two can try biking or swimming? work together to make some changes to your diets? that is going to promote long term results.
  • beautmel
    beautmel Posts: 56
    Thanks for the encouragement everyone.

    nz_deevaa- thanks for posting that link, that's exactly what I needed.

    And to everyone worried about my husband "banning me" - don't worry, I do very much what I like, when I like. I'm listening to him in this instance because he's been going to the gym for years and doing weights etc. I don't know what I'm talking about yet so I will reluctantly follow his advice.
  • mogletdeluxe
    mogletdeluxe Posts: 623 Member
    Another vote for lifting. I'm only 7lb lighter than I was than this time last year, but I'm a dress size smaller and in much, much better shape. All because of lifting.

    Also, to those ranting about hubs - so what? He's not married to you. And frankly, there's worse advice out there.
  • beautmel
    beautmel Posts: 56
    Thanks moglet!

    I've made poor hubs sound like Hitler when he's just trying to help- haha
    Another vote for lifting. I'm only 7lb lighter than I was than this time last year, but I'm a dress size smaller and in much, much better shape. All because of lifting.

    Also, to those ranting about hubs - so what? He's not married to you. And frankly, there's worse advice out there.
  • MogwaisGrandma
    MogwaisGrandma Posts: 195 Member
    Go and have a look at this link below

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=427745977293817&set=a.420841171317631.91077.419498664785215&type=1&theater

    Says loads about scales!!
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    How about not letting your husband 'ban you' from doing what you like? I'd start there.

    It's possible she's had an ED in the past. Right now with her weight she's at low end of normal BMI. I know there's better ways of measuring but since we don't see her that's all I have. He did get her a gym membership. Maybe don't encourage her not to listen to him so fast when it sounds like he's doing what's best for her.
  • WilhelmCF
    WilhelmCF Posts: 96 Member
    A pound of fat occupies more volume than a pound of muscle. So, yes, it is possible to weigh the same but change your shape. Also, a pound of muscle requires more energy to maintain than does a pound of fat so you may end up increasing your basic metabolic rate just by losing fat and adding muscle. As to your hubby, I'm sure he means well. I would never have taken him for a Hitler based on his concerns for your health.


    Continue lifting. If anything, a stronger you, a shapelier you will be a happier, sexier, more energetic you.

    Wilhelm
  • evileen99
    evileen99 Posts: 1,564 Member
    I'm 5'8".

    The time in my life when I wore the smallest size clothes was when I weighed the most. People thougt I weighed about 125, when in fact I was around 160. How can this be? Because I was all muscle, and muscle is much more compact than fat.

    Stop worrying about how much you weigh and focus on how you look. You won't be sorry.
  • animemoon5
    animemoon5 Posts: 55 Member
    I've made poor hubs sound like Hitler when he's just trying to help- haha

    Lol , I get the same thing sometimes, It's simply amazing how quickly listening to one's husband on occassion can instantly be perceived as total oppression and sound the alarms... =p

    My hubby and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum, I'm all fun&games full of emotions, he's down to earth, sensible and rational, most the time we do our own things, but every once in awhile... especially when it comes to my own health and safety, he may "Ban" me from doing something as well, o.O (i.e. I have issues with vision, dizziness and balance, and severe head pains and he will not let me drive a car) and it's not oppressive at all, he just loves me, and I will listen, because during these times, odds are he's probably being a bit more sensible than I would have been.... Sometimes I get impatient and despite having health problems I want to overdo it, emotions get the best of me.... It really helps having someone who cares about you, step in on occasion....

    Anyways ~ I am definitely no expert on this subject, I'm still learning , I haven't worked on "Training" much before, and I struggle with my own diet issues.... but as far as keeping up the calories, so you can build yourself up on training.... and not dieting.... Well perhaps instead of dieting and cutting the calories, you can just make the calories you do take more nutritious? Like making sure most of your meals or foods contain protein and perhaps cutting the sugar? your calorie intake will be the same, you'll be getting all the nutrients you need, and even if you don't lose weight, perhaps you can give your body more of the stuff it needs, that it can make full use of , energy and muscle, rather than being stored as fat? Perhaps instead of focusing on cutting calories, you can focus on how to get the most nutrition out of existing calories...

    I've been having a bit of fun with challenging myself on doing this.... finding out just how much protein, fiber etc I can pack into either a 1 cup serving, or a 200-300 calorie dish... my calorie intake has been completely the same, and I haven't lost weight this month, but giving my entire diet a healthy makeover has made me feel pretty good, and hopefully I'll notice a change soon, even if it isn't on the scale...
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    Thanks moglet!

    I've made poor hubs sound like Hitler when he's just trying to help- haha
    Another vote for lifting. I'm only 7lb lighter than I was than this time last year, but I'm a dress size smaller and in much, much better shape. All because of lifting.

    Also, to those ranting about hubs - so what? He's not married to you. And frankly, there's worse advice out there.

    Well, he's right, sort of. (your husband, not Hitler ha,ha isn't that funny. Not.).

    One can train with a reasonable calorie deficit but an over restrictive diet (like Ducan can be) is not good for training hard with weights. Get yourself a copy of Starting Strength or New Rules of Lifting (for Women) and you can teach him a thing or two...
  • angiesteele
    angiesteele Posts: 366 Member
    How about not letting your husband 'ban you' from doing what you like? I'd start there.


    This!!!!
  • ladyraven68
    ladyraven68 Posts: 2,003 Member
    So I've been the same weight for about 3 years now, always around the 141 lbs mark. I'm 5'9...

    Just before Christmas I got down to 137 lbs and was feeling pretty pleased with myself. Fast forward 3 weeks of holiday and festive eating and I've come back 9 pounds heavier. 146lbs. I feel so annoyed and not happy with myself. Hubby signed me up to a gym just before Christmas and I started weight training. I'm back in the gym now picking up where I left off.

    The problem is, normally I would have just gone on a diet, maybe Dukan or something to lose the weight but he is banning me from doing any form of diet! Apparently I need the calories for training etc. Which makes sense but it's driving me crazy as i'm not losing anything! In fact, i've gone UP another pound in the last few weeks.

    I need some motivation/support to keep going with the weight training. I know it will be worth it in the end but is it possible to change my shape but stay the same weight? Or even weigh more?

    Your husband sounds great - I'd rather a supportive other half that makes sure you are getting the right nutrition for your workouts, over one that applauds you for 1200 a day.

    It may still be worth you tracking on here, just to make sure you are enough calories/protein in.

    As for your motivation, take monthly measurements and photos, so that even when the scales aren't making you happy, the progress in other areas will.

    Good luck.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    How about not letting your husband 'ban you' from doing what you like? I'd start there.

    I think her husband is being sensible to be honest.....You DO need the calories whilst training at the gym, and going on some silly crash diet is a batty idea, so good for him being sensible.

    Eat healthily, workout, and you'll get results. Do some crazy diet and its likely that you'll put it back on anyway.

    Good advice.
  • martinh78
    martinh78 Posts: 601
    I'm listening to him in this instance because he's been going to the gym for years and doing weights etc.


    I don't know what I'm talking about yet so I will reluctantly follow his advice.


    Why reluctantly? Most people would love to have the help of someone so close.
  • pullem
    pullem Posts: 87 Member
    Yes it is possible, your husband is making complete sense. In 12 weeks of weight training I've gained weight but lost 8.5 inches in total, all while eating at over 2000 calories per day. Pictures are in the link below of my before and interim 'afters'

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/pullem/view/blowing-my-own-trumpet-479047

    Feel free to add me as a friend if you want any support

Categories