Ending 1200 Calorie Bashing: Respecting Your Peers
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Nope, great resources and shared information can do people a favor. Bashing has no benefits at all. We can do one without the other.
When I first started out I had no idea what I was doing, and no one told me how to. The main reason people attack certain diets and plans is because they have been there and they have failed. Sure it works for a while but people have seen results better and longer with doing things a certain way - the right way. if someone on my FL is under 1000 cal for the day i ask them about bmr, tdee, and things like that. Most of the time they dont know, and for people who think they know and post in the forums about and love to spread the idea that 1200 is a magic number and it worked for them, most people wont read it how its presented and think "ok itll work for me because lady spent 45 dollars to get her calories checked in a bubble machine and a whole barrage of doctors said it was ok for her so i can do it without any knowledge of how its done". so those people will fall of the wagon, gain weight right back, and be miserable.
All the "bashing" is doing people a favor.0 -
Hate to ruin what might by my only opportunity to be "cute," but why can't men advise women on weight loss?
Weight loss between the sexes is a teeny bit different . I've been on MFP since August , logging , measuring and working hard 5 times a week . My Fiancé who thinks chicken parm subs are a healthy lunch because chicken is in the name , doesn't work out , and wakes up at 3 am and eats donuts recently lost 10 pounds due to work stress . Granted he ate a few less cookies that week . My Father also recently lost 30 pounds by cutting out Bacon ! And before you ask he was having it everyday with breakfast . My Mother who eats salad everyday told me she might just kill him . That's the difference0 -
I'm glad you smiled. I think your comparison of 'adults using this website' to 'children attending school' much funnier, and I thank you for the laugh.
Seriously, though, if you don't like it, you can pick other websites. It's admirable that you want to alter the discourse and make everyone's thoughts and behavior more suited to you, but I'm afraid that won't happen. I know, I know, that's not positivity and optimism.
It's honesty.That's hilarious. And when kids are bullied in school--they should switch schools? And when people are discriminated against for disabilities, sexuality, etc...they should just go self-marginalize as well. Wow. No, I'm investing in positivity here. I'm hoping to help the way which we address people, in general, in threads. This is exactly why it isn't a thread relevant to one particular group. It's a call for more respect for one another and that's something that is only going to help and not hurt. People who are losing weight are, understandably, sensitive about their diets and being addressed with negativity instead of constructive and kind criticism can be incredibly discouraging and alienating.
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I love when Men in particular have advice for women on weight loss . It's so cute
Yeah, that's hilarious Who do they think are?
And those male OB/GYN Consultants as well giving women advice in hospitals. How dare they!0 -
There are haters everywhere.0
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Great post0
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How does telling someone that their caloric intake might give them problems cause them to feel shame?When you tell someone outright that their caloric intake is wrong or bad and you cause shame, you make them feel like they have to defend themselves and that's just cruel.
Who attaches their value as a human being to whether or not a website's calculator can accurately guess their own caloric needs?0 -
Yeah, that's hilarious Who do they think are?
And those male OB/GYN Consultants as well giving women advice in hospitals. How dare they!
A doctor is a little different than a snarky dude on the Internet0 -
Weight loss between the sexes is a teeny bit different . I've been on MFP since August , logging , measuring and working hard 5 times a week . My Fiancé who thinks chicken parm subs are a healthy lunch because chicken is in the name , doesn't work out , and wakes up at 3 am and eats donuts recently lost 10 pounds due to work stress . Granted he ate a few less cookies that week . My Father also recently lost 30 pounds by cutting out Bacon ! And before you ask he was having it everyday with breakfast . My Mother who eats salad everyday told me she might just kill him . That's the difference
Unless your father was eating an almost heroic amount of bacon on a regular basis, he did not lose 30 lbs by eliminating it. If your mother needs a good excuse to kill your father, she needs to look elsewhere.
The laws of thermodynamics apply with no regard to sex. Men have an edge in losing weight due to a naturally higher lean body mass, but that's pretty much the end of it. The elements necessary to lose weight are the same for everyone.0 -
I hope you were referring to me. "Snarky dude" is a title I have long striven for. :bigsmile:0 -
Knowledge is gender neutral.0 -
How does telling someone that their caloric intake might give them problems cause them to feel shame?
Who attaches their value as a human being to whether or not a website's calculator can accurately guess their own caloric needs?
My only question would be is there a line?
Ok we're not supposed to say anything to people eating 1200 calories about their intake being too low. We have to assume they might have a medical condition, but never ask about that medical condition.
Well what about 800 calories a day? 500?
At what point can we tell someone, "You probably need to eat more."
I know the answer. Never. What everyone is doing is right for them, even when they ask why it isn't working. Everyone is special and the slightest criticism, no matter how constructive, is an attack and bullying.
You all worry about the perceived tone of people's posts. I'm going to continue seeking out good info and getting results. That's what matters to me.0 -
When I first started out I had no idea what I was doing, and no one told me how to. The main reason people attack certain diets and plans is because they have been there and they have failed. Sure it works for a while but people have seen results better and longer with doing things a certain way - the right way. if someone on my FL is under 1000 cal for the day i ask them about bmr, tdee, and things like that. Most of the time they dont know, and for people who think they know and post in the forums about and love to spread the idea that 1200 is a magic number and it worked for them, most people wont read it how its presented and think "ok itll work for me because lady spent 45 dollars to get her calories checked in a bubble machine and a whole barrage of doctors said it was ok for her so i can do it without any knowledge of how its done". so those people will fall of the wagon, gain weight right back, and be miserable.
All the "bashing" is doing people a favor.
If you only check my profile and diary you would SEE that I am one of those people who eats a LOT!!! I am on the other side of the "fence" big fan of eating to lose weight!!! 1600 - 2000 cals a day - and I am female 5 foot "tall"
But again to make a point - people have to do things on their own time, BASHING does not help, leading by example does!!!!0 -
My only question would be is there a line?
Ok we're not supposed to say anything to people eating 1200 calories about their intake being too low. We have to assume they might have a medical condition, but never ask about that medical condition.
Well what about 800 calories a day? 500?
At what point can we tell someone, "You probably need to eat more."
I know the answer. Never. What everyone is doing is right for them, even when they ask why it isn't working. Everyone is special and the slightest criticism, no matter how constructive, is an attack and bullying.
You all worry about the perceived tone of people's posts. I'm going to continue seeking out good info and getting results. That's what matters to me.
I really already addressed this. It's not about not offering advice. I never said don't express concern. I only hope that we can not make people feel wrong or bad or like failures. You can most certainly always say "How did you arrive at 1200? Some calculations can be off" or "this is how net calories work..." You can even say, "Wow 500 calories [or whatever] seems so low to me and I think you should seek medical consult (if you haven't already) for such an extreme deficit. "Here is a link to IPOARM and if you haven't checked it out already it might help and it might explain [insert issue] that you're having." All of these meet the goals of educating without being negative and without prying.0 -
Unless your father was eating an almost heroic amount of bacon on a regular basis, he did not lose 30 lbs by eliminating it. If your mother needs a good excuse to kill your father, she needs to look elsewhere.
The laws of thermodynamics apply with no regard to sex. Men have an edge in losing weight due to a naturally higher lean body mass, but that's pretty much the end of it. The elements necessary to lose weight are the same for everyone.
I don't know what the hell he was doing . He's retired
.. My point is men lose weight much easier than women . Often on this site people like to quote absolutes and I'm sorry there is quite a bit of grey . Years of dieting , hormones all have an effect on weight loss .
You weren't the snarky guy !0 -
I really already addressed this. It's not about not offering advice. I never said don't express concern. I only hope that we can not make people feel wrong or bad or like failures. You can most certainly always say "How did you arrive at 1200? Some calculations can be off" or "this is how net calories work..." You can even say, "Wow 500 calories [or whatever] seems so low to me and I think you should seek medical consult (if you haven't already) for such an extreme deficit. "Here is a link to IPOARM and if you haven't checked it out already it might help and it might explain [insert issue] that you're having." All of these meet the goals of educating without being negative and without prying.
I don't think I'll ever be able to offer advice in a manner you find acceptable. I think you will always find fault in what someone says about diet or exercise. It's not the information that matters to you, but the way you perceive their tone. While criticizing people who come off as "experts" you have set yourself up as the grand expert on how everyone should behave and speak to one another. Not my cup of tea. So I'm bowing out now and setting you on ignore. Good luck to you on your efforts.0 -
Really well written!0
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You weren't the snarky guy !
Crap. There goes my day.0 -
Really well written!
I agree. And the responses (from the OP).0 -
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YES YES YES!
THIS 100%.
Even when people give polite advice, if it goes against the mindset the OP has decided on (not the OP of this thread, but the OP who would ask for advice, for example) then you still can somehow upset someone....people don't like to be told that they are/may be wrong. I also quite enjoy that responses that question or challenge the OP but are polite = "I've already said this but You clearly missed the point" but responses that agree agree = "Thanks! Glad someone gets it.". No, mostly everyone "gets it"...it's just that not everyone thinks the same way and everyone needs to be a bit thoughtful that this is the INTERNET. Don't let someone's words...simple typed out letters on your screen...somehow break you.0 -
Great post, whilst I don't agree with eating 1200 or less for a quick loss I do agree that some people like yourself have different needs etc. well done for standing your ground and showing that nobody has a right to comment on anyone's choices as they don't know their situation. I hope you get to your goal weight this time xxx0
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Thank you for your post. I have similar medical issues, and it is good to see that I am not alone as I struggle. Good luck to both of us as we lose weight. I would advise some exercise to build muscle, it will help you tremendously I think because it is helping me. I do strength training three days a week and cardio too and it is turning things around for me. My trainer looked at my food diary from here and gave me some pointers like staying under 60 g of sugars total per day that is making a huge difference ( I am losing weight!).0
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Right. When she says "respectful" what she really means is "submissive and timid." Lots of people don't do submissive or timid. Especially the vast majority of people who have lots of knowledge, because acquiring knowledge is a constant process of finding out you are wrong or didn't know something. People don't get there by cultivating a fragile ego or being paralyzed by a fear of being "wrong."
I don't think I'll ever be able to offer advice in a manner you find acceptable. I think you will always find fault in what someone says about diet or exercise. It's not the information that matters to you, but the way you perceive their tone. While criticizing people who come off as "experts" you have set yourself up as the grand expert on how everyone should behave and speak to one another. Not my cup of tea. So I'm bowing out now and setting you on ignore. Good luck to you on your efforts.0 -
Thanks for your post. We have to ask ourselves, do we respect each other? Do we know to be kind to each other? We are all adults and make our own choices, have different bodies and different goals, different health needs, etc. No more making unpleasant remarks to each other, if we are to be of support. 1100-1200 calories is a common calorie loss regimen, and I am surprised that anyone here is being so negative. You CAN be healthy on that calorie intake, any doctor can tell you.0
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I didn't read all of it but I read enough. Keep doing what you are doing!0
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Well said! Couldn't read all of it but even the title speaks for itself. This is supposed to be the bash-free zone isn't it. There are people on here boasting their eating disorders but there are also people on here getting advise from a nutrionist who has picked a caloric intake for them. Thanks for sticking your neck out as I've noticed this bashing as well over the last few weeks0
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Each of these comments had a little something in common that I really want to address. First and foremost, why does anyone have to justify or reveal intimate, personal information to someone else?
When you tell someone outright that their caloric intake is wrong or bad and you cause shame, you make them feel like they have to defend themselves and that's just cruel
Soooooo...we have to walk on eggshells because we have to assume that everyone is a special snowflake and has a medical issue unless told otherwise, but the people who ask for advice are never responsible for the way that they are perceiving the advice that is given.
Seems legit. :huh:
Telling someone they may be doing something wrong and giving them an alternative to try is NOT shaming or belittling them, no matter how much it may feel like it to the person hearing it. I am not responsible for how someone else perceives my words. I am responsible for what I actually mean, not for what you understand or how you feel about it. I can't control how you feel, but neither am I going to be someone other than I am or express myself in a different manner, especially when I am NOT intending to be rude or mean, and instead intend to be helpful, just because someone else is sensitive and may get their feelings hurt because they read what they want into what I am actually saying. I am not responsible for someone else's inner monologue, just as no one else is responsible for mine.
People are different. People have different caloric needs for different reasons. I would never tel anyone what they SHOULD do or what they NEED to do, only they know that, but, if asked, I sure as hell will state what I THINK.
People express themselves differently. I do not have to express myself a certain way just because you think that's the way I should say something. Sorry, doesn't work that way. This is a public forum. If someone isn't willing to hear ALL opinions, and take or leave what they need from it like a reasoning adult, then they should not ask for advice in a forum which is full of all different kinds of people with different opinions and different styles of delivering those opinions.0 -
I also have PCOS and Im insulin resistant and I've read the studies regarding women like us and that our BMR is typically about 1100. We simply dont require as much. That being said i am losing more on 1500-2000 a day than i was on 1200 but that may simply be because of the help of my medication. It certainly is possible and even healthier for women like us to eat 1200 but i wouldnt recommend it for those not dealing with PCOS and IR.0
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Do you girl!!! You're going to find that this world has a whole lot of issues, but no solutions. As long as your working with a physician you feel comfortable with and you like what you see, others opinion/criticisms don't matter. There will always be someone there to agrue the sky is green when you see it's blue.0
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