Ending 1200 Calorie Bashing: Respecting Your Peers
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Great post, whilst I don't agree with eating 1200 or less for a quick loss I do agree that some people like yourself have different needs etc. well done for standing your ground and showing that nobody has a right to comment on anyone's choices as they don't know their situation. I hope you get to your goal weight this time xxx0
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You weren't the snarky guy !
Crap. There goes my day.
There's always tomorrow0 -
Thank you for your post. I have similar medical issues, and it is good to see that I am not alone as I struggle. Good luck to both of us as we lose weight. I would advise some exercise to build muscle, it will help you tremendously I think because it is helping me. I do strength training three days a week and cardio too and it is turning things around for me. My trainer looked at my food diary from here and gave me some pointers like staying under 60 g of sugars total per day that is making a huge difference ( I am losing weight!).0
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I really already addressed this. It's not about not offering advice. I never said don't express concern. I only hope that we can not make people feel wrong or bad or like failures. You can most certainly always say "How did you arrive at 1200? Some calculations can be off" or "this is how net calories work..." You can even say, "Wow 500 calories [or whatever] seems so low to me and I think you should seek medical consult (if you haven't already) for such an extreme deficit. "Here is a link to IPOARM and if you haven't checked it out already it might help and it might explain [insert issue] that you're having." All of these meet the goals of educating without being negative and without prying.
I don't think I'll ever be able to offer advice in a manner you find acceptable. I think you will always find fault in what someone says about diet or exercise. It's not the information that matters to you, but the way you perceive their tone. While criticizing people who come off as "experts" you have set yourself up as the grand expert on how everyone should behave and speak to one another. Not my cup of tea. So I'm bowing out now and setting you on ignore. Good luck to you on your efforts.0 -
Thanks for your post. We have to ask ourselves, do we respect each other? Do we know to be kind to each other? We are all adults and make our own choices, have different bodies and different goals, different health needs, etc. No more making unpleasant remarks to each other, if we are to be of support. 1100-1200 calories is a common calorie loss regimen, and I am surprised that anyone here is being so negative. You CAN be healthy on that calorie intake, any doctor can tell you.0
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I didn't read all of it but I read enough. Keep doing what you are doing!0
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Well said! Couldn't read all of it but even the title speaks for itself. This is supposed to be the bash-free zone isn't it. There are people on here boasting their eating disorders but there are also people on here getting advise from a nutrionist who has picked a caloric intake for them. Thanks for sticking your neck out as I've noticed this bashing as well over the last few weeks0
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Each of these comments had a little something in common that I really want to address. First and foremost, why does anyone have to justify or reveal intimate, personal information to someone else?
When you tell someone outright that their caloric intake is wrong or bad and you cause shame, you make them feel like they have to defend themselves and that's just cruel
Soooooo...we have to walk on eggshells because we have to assume that everyone is a special snowflake and has a medical issue unless told otherwise, but the people who ask for advice are never responsible for the way that they are perceiving the advice that is given.
Seems legit. :huh:
Telling someone they may be doing something wrong and giving them an alternative to try is NOT shaming or belittling them, no matter how much it may feel like it to the person hearing it. I am not responsible for how someone else perceives my words. I am responsible for what I actually mean, not for what you understand or how you feel about it. I can't control how you feel, but neither am I going to be someone other than I am or express myself in a different manner, especially when I am NOT intending to be rude or mean, and instead intend to be helpful, just because someone else is sensitive and may get their feelings hurt because they read what they want into what I am actually saying. I am not responsible for someone else's inner monologue, just as no one else is responsible for mine.
People are different. People have different caloric needs for different reasons. I would never tel anyone what they SHOULD do or what they NEED to do, only they know that, but, if asked, I sure as hell will state what I THINK.
People express themselves differently. I do not have to express myself a certain way just because you think that's the way I should say something. Sorry, doesn't work that way. This is a public forum. If someone isn't willing to hear ALL opinions, and take or leave what they need from it like a reasoning adult, then they should not ask for advice in a forum which is full of all different kinds of people with different opinions and different styles of delivering those opinions.0 -
I also have PCOS and Im insulin resistant and I've read the studies regarding women like us and that our BMR is typically about 1100. We simply dont require as much. That being said i am losing more on 1500-2000 a day than i was on 1200 but that may simply be because of the help of my medication. It certainly is possible and even healthier for women like us to eat 1200 but i wouldnt recommend it for those not dealing with PCOS and IR.0
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Do you girl!!! You're going to find that this world has a whole lot of issues, but no solutions. As long as your working with a physician you feel comfortable with and you like what you see, others opinion/criticisms don't matter. There will always be someone there to agrue the sky is green when you see it's blue.0
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I love the thought and confidence you put into your post. 7 x 5k is really awesome. You go!!!!0
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I love when Men in particular have advice for women on weight loss . It's so cute
Yeah, that's hilarious Who do they think are?
And those male OB/GYN Consultants as well giving women advice in hospitals. How dare they!
a guy OBGYN doesn't know what the hell he's doing. I've had several, and they don't know a woman's body like a woman.
A doctor is a little different than a snarky dude on the Internet0 -
"So again, please, try to actually be my fitness pals, not my fitness judge and jury."
Ahhh, thank you - SOMEONE needed to say that! I get embarrassed at some of the off-topic, personal tirades that go on in the forums. Each person is different. I can't/won't do on 1200 cal per day, but that's me and MFP recommends 1500 per day, I think but I'm {sort of} IPOARM, so my intake is actually more like 1800 at the moment! And I respect that you are comfy at 1200 per day...I'd probably take some weight off much quicker if I did that too, but I'd be HANGRY (you know, Angry because I'm Hungry!!!)
Now, seriously, how awesome is it that you've signed up for 7 5k's this spring??!?!?!?! That's inspiring!!!
Keep on, keeping on. And best of luck to you!
EDIT: ANd I should say that prior to joining MFP, I lost 27 lbs on my own, then I gained 10 back so my ticker says 0, but it's actually 17 from when I started this journey. And now I'm well and back on track!!!0 -
It's actually NOT easy to be snarky and judgmental. I think most of us who roll our eyes at these "I'm different! I swear it! I will die if I eat more than 8 calories per day!" posts would truly LOVE to be able to discuss healthy food and fitness techniques with the new members of the site.
The problem is that most of the people who come here claiming to be looking for advice are really only looking for confirmation of their pre-existing misconceptions about weight-loss. And when you tell them they are wrong, they immediately get defensive. Any attempt to dissuade them from bowing before the systematic starvation throne is viewed as being mean, snarky, and judgmental.The people here who say "Eat more," "lift heavy weights," "stop doing 100 hours of cardio a week," etc., are people who have been there and done that and have learned from experience what is SUSTAINABLE and what only works for about six weeks.
Then there is the inevitable "my doctor told me to do this, so you must not know what you're talking about" nonsense. Allow me to clue you in: most doctors don't know their *kitten* from their carotid arteries when it comes to losing weight. They tell you to eat 1000 calories per day because they don't KNOW what else to tell you. They spend their careers wiping noses, writing prescriptions for antibiotics, and passing people off to specialists. Experience has taught them that telling you to starve yourself will cause you to drop a lot of weight in a short amount of time, thus convincing you of their brilliance ... before you inevitably crash and burn, blame yourself, and settle on the fact that losing weight is simply not possible for you because you don't have the requisite willpower or discipline. And if you could think for yourself, you might have realized at some point along the way that maybe your doctor was wrong.
If you don't want to take my word for it, that's actually a good sign because you absolutely SHOULD be doing real, independent research. Spend some time educating yourself rather than taking your doctor's advice as gospel.
I think I love you.
YES YES YES!
THIS 100%.
Even when people give polite advice, if it goes against the mindset the OP has decided on (not the OP of this thread, but the OP who would ask for advice, for example) then you still can somehow upset someone....people don't like to be told that they are/may be wrong. I also quite enjoy that responses that question or challenge the OP but are polite = "I've already said this but You clearly missed the point" but responses that agree agree = "Thanks! Glad someone gets it.". No, mostly everyone "gets it"...it's just that not everyone thinks the same way and everyone needs to be a bit thoughtful that this is the INTERNET. Don't let someone's words...simple typed out letters on your screen...somehow break you.
I've seen good information disolve on threads because a group of people have decided that it's irrelevant and have deliberately wasted that thread with poptarts...hardly helpful. Just because that information is irrelevant to them because they can successfully tow the cals in cals out line regardless of what they eat doesn't mean that it works for another. Why does Dan mention eating whole foods and leptin...seems he is aware that this is something that needs to be navigated and that a user of IPOARM may need it and not realise it. What they do is block information that may be the key to another's weight loss because a lot of people have no idea that they are insulin/leptin resistant and there are some women who have pcos and don't find out til they are much older. It's this type of "censorship" that is childish. What they do is twofold..they prevent a 1200 from learning about nutrition but they also prevent that 1200 from realizing that they can actually safely increase cals with focus on nutrition. They are actually doing their cause a disservice. Some people inadvertently treat an underlying condition they aren't aware of. They don't know why it worked but they succeeded and may eventually find out. They can legitimately offer advice even if they are on 1200.
There is critique and there is criticism...if you want a student to learn and be successful..I know which one I prefer to hear.0 -
ROCK ON, CYSTER!!0
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I wish I could "like" this post0
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Do what works for you!
I was on a diet where I averaged 1,250 a day and I lost almost 90 pounds. You do what your body responds to - not what the world tells you you SHOULD do. I get to eat more now, but that's because I'm trying to maintain now - not lose any more....0 -
Amen, Nat.0
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Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for posting!!! :flowerforyou:0
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Inspirational post from an inspirational lady. Congrats on the 5K!0
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