money squabbles with spouse

This is why I don't have a joint account with my spouse, we would kill eachother.

My wife and I are both bad with money. If we ran everything through a joint account, we'd be in a mess, and constantly fighting.

I am marginally better than she is, so I handle all the bills, but we discuss big purchases and long term planning.

We have a weird situation because she has multiple jobs, so she gets paid from a few different sources. Her biggest check gets deposited into our joint checking account, and that money goes towards the bills/saving. There's also a little money there for family stuff like going out to eat occasionally, etc, so we aren't splitting those bills. Her small part time jobs gets deposited into her own account, and that is money she does whatever she wants with. My check goes into our joint account and I take out a comparable amount for my own spending money.

The only time we have issues is when something big unscheduled comes up and we need to find a way to pay for it. Our emergency fund isn't huge, so a big ticket item will cause some stress, but we've learned to deal with the day to day stuff pretty well.

I like the idea of a monthy "allowance" for each of you to spend on whatever you want. If you want really expensive shoes, you may need to wait a few months to have enough to buy them.

I don't see how having individual accounts would help. Sounds like you both have to contribute to bills. You'd then have to split up the bills and see who pays what, etc.

This is why I don't have a joint account with my spouse, we would kill eachother.

Yep, this. We have a joint account where a percentage of our paychecks go to pay the mortgage, car payment, household bills...and then we have our own seperate "do what you want" accounts for ourselves and our personal bills.

I give up all money issues. I make it she pay's the bills. I pay for gas & reasonable lunches. If I need something else we discuss it. Because I don't needlessly spend she can figure what I will need but we started w/ an allowance. It's tough when it comes to gifts for her though. I generally need to know a budget. She takes care of the kids & most of the mortgage & other bills are set up for automatic payment so there are never late fees.

Sign up for Dave Ramsey's FPU class, and go to every session. Best $100 I ever spent.

Seriously, just go. Now.

If you hate it, I will personally send you a check for $200.

i will never do a joint account with a partner again.

I did it in my last relationship and basically he would put his cheque in minus $700 dollars (for spending money) and then expect me to put my WHOLE cheque in AND find the extra money with which to cover his shortfall (since if he was short, he still paid himself the $700 dollars BEFORE putting money into the joint to cover bills)

basically the Joint was an excuse for him to justify that his money was his, and my money was ours (or his) .....

Separate all the way and forevermore.

My husband and I often agrue over money. We have been married 10 years and I can not continue with this stress. I would like to hear how others avoid disagreements over money.

My husband and I are approaching our 9th anniversary, though have been together for 18 years. When we moved in together, money was the only thing we'd argue about. We figured out who would pay what, and it's no longer a problem. We both make good money and do not have any joint accounts. I buy groceries and related household items and pay a couple of additional bills, he pays the mortgage, taxes, and the rest of the bills. We each take care of our own car expenses/insurance, cell phone bills, etc. As long as the bills are paid, there are no 'rules' as to how additional funds are spent. If I want to go on a girls weekend getaway to shop, or he wants to buy season tickets for football - go nuts. He doesn't need to know what I spend on clothes, and I don't really care what he spends on beer. We both work hard for our money, and are entitled to splurge every so often.

"Basicly what he sees as a necessity I dont and vice versa."

like what kind of things??

We keep our finances separate and split all bills right down the middle. We never fight about money

We have joint accounts and use a cash budget. All monies that are not paid through my bank account are withdrawn (ie grocery budget, entertainment, clothing, blah blah blah) and put into envelopes. We spend our budget money from that. One of our catagories is money for me and money for him. At the begining of the pay period we get our money and choose to do with it whatever we wish (save it, spend it, give it away w.h.y). If we both go out for dinner together (or other activity) it comes from the entertainment budget though.

I second Dave Ramsey.....He is Wonderful

When hubby and I first got married we always faught about our budget and how much he would spend. (married 4 yrs now...)
I've let go a little and buy more of food (which he wanted...) and usually we will do an "allowance" so he can spend whatever he likes on random stuff. Depending on budget its usually like 50 bucks every 2 weeks or so. I use my "allowance" on tanning for my 1st two weeks and then I get my nails done the 2nd 2 weeks. So he will take out money to do whatever with.

Sometimes it can ease the tension of what exactly each of you are spending money on, also it will make you aware of how much your spending and can stop unnessary spending....because when your done with your money then your done.
Good luck

We do like some other posters have said....

We have a joint account, portions of each of our paychecks go into the household joint account to cover household bills. We have it set up to auto pay our bills.

Our personal account are for us to spend as we want.
We trade off if we go out to eat, or do something as a family who pays for what, and we don't keep tabs on who spent how much from their personal account to go to the movies, the museum, or out to eat....it all washes out in the long term.

I might eye roll at some of hubs' purchases, and he probably has at mine too.



If you go allowance route, I'd suugest doing it as seperate accounts like you get a certain $ deposited into an account from you to spend from, or a card that draws from the joint account with a pre-planned spending limit. My dad is a horrible money manager, if he had his way he'd drain the joint account and go play poker or on a boat or something.....Mom had to finally take him off withdrawl access from the joint account and set him up with a pre-paid card for the month. Sometimes he's blown his 'fun' spending in the first week after getting it.....and no matter how much he *****es and moans, mom doesn't give him more $ to spend.