Calling yourself "Fat"

Options
angelams1019
angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
in Motivation and Support
I see SOOOO many people calling themselves fat on here and I just think "Wow....If they think they're fat....I LITERALLY must look like Shamu to them!!" lol

We need to be kinder to ourselves ladies! (And gentleman!) Its one thing to recognize need for change and improvement but calling yourself names isn't going to make the pounds come off, so why do it?

This is supposed to be a community of support and motivation yet there is so many people calling themselves fat and so FEW people calling themselves beautiful. Why? If someone posted a thread about how beautiful they are, how many responses do you think she would get about how conceited and arrogant she is?

Why is it socially acceptable for us to constantly talk *kitten* about ourselves, but looked down upon to speak positively about ourselves?

The moral of the story is to be kind to your body AND your mind. Many of us on here are already working on the whole "be kind to your body" part of it. We're making healthy choices, we're exercising, we're being more active, etc. But a lot of times we forget the "mind" part of things. When you are constantly putting yourself down, whether it be about your size, or your skin, or your face, or WHATEVER, eventually you will begin to believe it.

Why not replace all of those negative things you're saying to yourself with positive things? I think a lot of people will find they feel a lot better emotionally when they start treating themselves with kindness. :flowerforyou:

**Edit: By the way, everyone that has something negative to say about this post obviously doesn't have a complex with calling themselves fat. But the POINT of the post still remains clear.

I have never met a person in my life that has never said anything negative about themselves. The POINT of the post is to be kinder to ourselves. If you want to argue for the sake of arguing, you can do so. But if there is any woman on this message board that has never said one negative thing about herself, I'd like to shake her hand.
«13456

Replies

  • Joeypox
    Joeypox Posts: 37
    Options
    Like I said, it all starts with the mentality. I have never called myself fat, nor will I ever or anyone else for that. Partially because you never know someones backstory especially with that word. I have never joked around about my weight either (a personal preference). To me if you joke about something, especially if a serious subject, you are accepting it/ coping with it. There are something thats ok with (OK haha I have big feet and yes I do really haha). This is something that I learned early (Even before my journey) and something I hold dear.

    Great Post!
  • Danielle_2013
    Danielle_2013 Posts: 806 Member
    Options
    Fat is just an adjective. Like tall, or short, or thin or blue or smooth. We (individually and in society) choose whether or not to give it a negative connotation. And clearly, we have done so.

    When we are raised to believe that fat equals lazy/worthless/unmotivated//unloveable...that's when the shame/embarassment/fear sets in.

    I'm fat. But I'm also beautiful and smart and funny and worthy of being loved just as I am.

    :flowerforyou:
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Options
    It's called body dysmorphia.
  • slroggemann
    slroggemann Posts: 168 Member
    Options
    I agree with what you're saying OP! I used to tell myself I was fat all the time...I still say it jokingly sometimes but not in seriousness anymore. I've lost a lot of weight since I changed my lifestyle and eating habits (27lb is a lot for me, but I still have 25lb to go), and I think we all need to be more positive! Telling ourselves we're fat or overweight or whatever negative term you use just makes us feel worse, or at least that's how it makes me feel. I feel better when I tell myself instead that I've hit one of my goals for weight loss.
  • BlueObsidian
    BlueObsidian Posts: 297 Member
    Options
    Fat is just an adjective. Like tall, or short, or thin or blue or smooth. We (individually and in society) choose whether or not to give it a negative connotation. And clearly, we have done so.

    When we are raised to believe that fat equals lazy/worthless/unmotivated//unloveable...that's when the shame/embarassment/fear sets in.

    I'm fat. But I'm also beautiful and smart and funny and worthy of being loved just as I am.

    :flowerforyou:

    This. I am fat. I have over 100 pounds left to lose. I'm sorry if it offends you, but at 277 pounds fat IS a description of myself. It doesn't change who I am as a person.

    What word do you think I should use to describe myself? I may have a larger frame, but the extra 100 pounds isn't a result of my being "big-boned." I've never quite understood people who describe themselves as "fluffy." Overweight isn't sufficient to describe how much weight I have to lose. I suppose I could refer to myself as obese, but honestly, I just prefer to say fat.
  • kbodnaruk
    kbodnaruk Posts: 67
    Options
    I am a culprit of calling myself fat - I use it as an adjective....however....I have a new saying "I am NOT fat, I HAVE fat....there is a difference" - and I am working everyday to get rid of the fat :)
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    Options
    Fat is just an adjective. Like tall, or short, or thin or blue or smooth. We (individually and in society) choose whether or not to give it a negative connotation. And clearly, we have done so.

    When we are raised to believe that fat equals lazy/worthless/unmotivated//unloveable...that's when the shame/embarassment/fear sets in.

    I'm fat. But I'm also beautiful and smart and funny and worthy of being loved just as I am.

    :flowerforyou:

    You're exactly right, it is just an adjective. And we HAVE given it a negative connotation. I could be wrong, but many people (myself included at one time) are not calling themselves fat with the absence of that negative connotation.

    Am I fat, by definition of the word? Yes. Do I call myself fat? Absolutely not, because in our society it is most certainly a negative word that comes with all the other adjectives you listed above. I don't allow thoughts such as those into my head and nobody else should either.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Options
    I needed to call myself fat when I started. I got to be fat by being in a constant state of denial about my weight. It only sunk in when I ordered a bunch of new work clothes online, and when they came, all of the size 8 pants were cut small and didn't even fit over my hips. Strange, how they sent me multiple different pairs of pants that were all cut abnormally like that!
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Options
    I wish people would stop considering 'fat' a dirty word. It is a describing word, meant to signify an over-abundance of fatty tissue, which I possess. I am fat. I'm okay with that as far as who I am right now.
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    Options
    I am a culprit of calling myself fat - I use it as an adjective....however....I have a new saying "I am NOT fat, I HAVE fat....there is a difference" - and I am working everyday to get rid of the fat :)

    Exactly! Like I said, its OKAY to recognize it and its okay to want to change it, but FAT is NOT who you are. If that were the case, when you meet someone new you might as well say "Hi, I'm Fat. Nice to meet you!"

    We call ourselves these things and begin to see them as true.....As WHO we are. What defines us.

    My fat does not define me.
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
    Options
    I agree i have called myself fat before and I know I have body fat but I am not FAT lol.. I think it just comes so easily to someone to blurt out hateful things about themselves.. but alot of people have eating disorders on this site and it REALLY gets me mad because they are so skinny and they call themself fat and say they will "purge" which i didnt even know what that meant until I entered this site...

    Also I recently found out that people think my name LOVELYMIALOVELY is supporting a eating disorder which really got me angry. because MIA is a name.. and in my case I wrote it to mean BEAUTIFUL... I do not have an eating disorder and I hate when someone sees a skinny person on here they automatically jump to conclusions.. I have NEVER once made myself throw up.. so.. thats the downside about being on this site is all the unhealthy people SUPPORTING it.. I am friends with alot of girls who try not to have an eating disorder and are trying to heal from it.. which I respect... so maybe that is why you see alot of skinny girls calling themself fat.. is because maybe they have eating disorders..??

    I would like to say that alot of times people on this site like to vent things that they wouldnt say out loud. so maybe this is the reason there is so much body shaming.... :)

    By the way your doing great on your goals and I enjoy being your friend :)
  • tryclyn
    tryclyn Posts: 2,414 Member
    Options
    I always use "fat" as a description not a definition.
  • BeccaLevine
    BeccaLevine Posts: 315 Member
    Options
    It's called body dysmorphia.

    cm-46616-05102460f3e2ef.gif
  • Richie2shoes
    Richie2shoes Posts: 412 Member
    Options
    I call myself fat because I am. Plus it sounds better than morbidly obese. It's just an acknowledgement of the issue, but not the only thing I am. I'm also reasonably intelligent, well-read, have a great sense of humor, have mad kitchen skillz and am strikingly handsome! :laugh:

    Edit: Oh and modest.... I always forget modest!
  • MLibby84
    MLibby84 Posts: 87
    Options
    You make a very good point. However, i have always been self concious of my body skinny, fat, I just didn't feel comfortable in my own skin. Like someone said it';s all about mentality. It;s also hard when you have people around you who tell you " You dont look good, you need to loose weight." or" those jeans are terrible(most of this has come from my own mother) So, this has been drilled into my head for years. It is hard to change. So slowly, I am finally learning that I am who I am and that it is okay. My husband has been my biggest supporter through it all, and with out him I would be lost. So right now I would call myself "a work in progress.


    Hang in there everyone! and stay focused and don't give up because we only get one body it is up to us in how we treat it.

    :smile:
  • Janelle173
    Janelle173 Posts: 396 Member
    Options
    I continue to love and agree with your positive posts and attitude! Thank you for spreading the positive vibe!
  • angelams1019
    angelams1019 Posts: 1,102 Member
    Options
    Fat is just an adjective. Like tall, or short, or thin or blue or smooth. We (individually and in society) choose whether or not to give it a negative connotation. And clearly, we have done so.

    When we are raised to believe that fat equals lazy/worthless/unmotivated//unloveable...that's when the shame/embarassment/fear sets in.

    I'm fat. But I'm also beautiful and smart and funny and worthy of being loved just as I am.

    :flowerforyou:

    This. I am fat. I have over 100 pounds left to lose. I'm sorry if it offends you, but at 277 pounds fat IS a description of myself. It doesn't change who I am as a person.

    What word do you think I should use to describe myself? I may have a larger frame, but the extra 100 pounds isn't a result of my being "big-boned." I've never quite understood people who describe themselves as "fluffy." Overweight isn't sufficient to describe how much weight I have to lose. I suppose I could refer to myself as obese, but honestly, I just prefer to say fat.


    hahahaha I never understood the whole "fluffy" thing either!

    And let me be clear, I'm not offended by anyone and what they choose to describe themselves as. Its none of my business really. If you can call yourself fat without having it associate with something negative, then those post obviously isn't directed towards you. But there are A LOT of people (myself included) who call themselves fat and associate all of the negative connotations that come along with it.

    Me calling myself fat wasn't to simply "describe" myself, it was to put myself down. If you have mastered the art of being able to call yourself fat while ignoring the negative connotations that come along with it, more power to you! :drinker:

    I just don't ever find the need to describe my size, so I don't spend any time thinking about an alternative. lol
  • squirrelzzrule22
    squirrelzzrule22 Posts: 640 Member
    Options
    The worst is when a friend who is slimmer than you and objectively quite thin complains non stop about their weight in front of you and you can tell its to make themselves feel better. This drives me bonkers and I think it's SO rude! I know we're all our harshest critics but I would never whine about the 20 I need to lose to a friend who needed to lose much more just to make myself feel better. I once got very fed up with a close friend who asked why I had been able to lose ten pounds (at a time when I was 30 pounds overweight) when she couldn't seem to drop from130 to 120 (at a lean 5'5") I snapped and yelled BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE ANY TO LOSE!! I AM LITERALLY OVERWEIGHT AND YOU ARE NOT! Haha! We made up and all but it still didn't shut her up! She complains to this day. I think it's just human nature.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Options
    The worst is when a friend who is slimmer than you and objectively quite thin complains non stop about their weight in front of you and you can tell its to make themselves feel better. This drives me bonkers and I think it's SO rude! I know we're all our harshest critics but I would never whine about the 20 I need to lose to a friend who needed to lose much more just to make myself feel better. I once got very fed up with a close friend who asked why I had been able to lose ten pounds (at a time when I was 30 pounds overweight) when she couldn't seem to drop from130 to 120 (at a lean 5'5") I snapped and yelled BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE ANY TO LOSE!! I AM LITERALLY OVERWEIGHT AND YOU ARE NOT! Haha! We made up and all but it still didn't shut her up! She complains to this day. I think it's just human nature.


    I think it's probably a lot of insecurity on their part.
  • Tannedtiffers
    Tannedtiffers Posts: 558 Member
    Options
    The worst is when a friend who is slimmer than you and objectively quite thin complains non stop about their weight in front of you and you can tell its to make themselves feel better. This drives me bonkers and I think it's SO rude! I know we're all our harshest critics but I would never whine about the 20 I need to lose to a friend who needed to lose much more just to make myself feel better. I once got very fed up with a close friend who asked why I had been able to lose ten pounds (at a time when I was 30 pounds overweight) when she couldn't seem to drop from130 to 120 (at a lean 5'5") I snapped and yelled BECAUSE YOU DONT HAVE ANY TO LOSE!! I AM LITERALLY OVERWEIGHT AND YOU ARE NOT! Haha! We made up and all but it still didn't shut her up! She complains to this day. I think it's just human nature.

    uggh so true~~

Categories