Negative comments about me lifting weights

Lifting_Knitter
Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
in Motivation and Support
Today I talked about starting to weight lift and this is what I got:

'Women who have muscles have ugly bodies, only tone what you have. You don't want to look ugly.'

'You shouldn't look stronger then your husband, you need to look like you compliment him.'

'Make sure you get help, you don't want to make your body horrendous looking. '

Well, you know what? I think a muscular woman is beautiful and I am going to make me the most beautiful me I can. And you want to know what? Since I have started this journey, I now am able to open a jar by myself. I was never able to before hand. Being strong is beautiful. I want to say, all you women with muscles you are beautiful no matter how big or small they are. You are strong and I can't wait to be strong too.
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Replies

  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    Women don't go all Arnold from weight training, unless they have a hormone imbalance that causes them to have ridiculously high test levels. They generally need anabolics for that look.

    Tell those people to get ****ed and read a book before opening their mouths next time.
  • fitjulz40in12
    fitjulz40in12 Posts: 32 Member
    Now that I am doing more yoga, my muscles are getting more toned. It makes me feel stronger and much better about myself. Don't listen to what they tell you. Do what makes you feel strong. Our goal is to be proud of ourselves.Keep working on your goals.
  • Trev50
    Trev50 Posts: 14
    Beauty is subjective. What matters is developing the kind of body YOU want. Screw everybody else, especially the haters and the sexists.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    ...
  • TNR32
    TNR32 Posts: 110 Member
    Yes women do not have the same hormones that guys do so it is not possible for women to bulk up unless they are taking steriods. Little known fact that lifting weights tones women up heavy or light. I have heard of women benching over 200 lbs and looking like a petite little thing not some musle bound whatever. So lift all the weights you want and if anyone gives you a rough time for it tell them to stuff it.
  • aross001
    aross001 Posts: 237
    Yes women do not have the same hormones that guys do so it is not possible for women to bulk up unless they are taking steriods. Little known fact that lifting weights tones women up heavy or light. I have heard of women benching over 200 lbs and looking like a petite little thing not some musle bound whatever. So lift all the weights you want and if anyone gives you a rough time for it tell them to stuff it.

    THIS!!!!
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    You got all of those comments in one day?

    I have to wonder where these things were said.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    You really have to consider the source ... these people speak without knowledge. The women who are built like Arnold S. quite frankly have to use hormones to get there.. and even then lack the structure to totally get there... That being said, I FAR prefer a lean and strong looking lady to the anemic, underweight anorexic type. As others have said, lift and lift heavy without fear of bulking too much. Strong IS beautiful... best wishes on your journey and eat plenty of protein.
  • Mighty_Rabite
    Mighty_Rabite Posts: 581 Member
    What these people have said! Hopefully one day all of these myths about women and weightlifting will be dispelled. A lot of them are spread by people that know nothing about it - the people that don't take time to figure out that even us guys have to eat properly in order to bulk up, and that's with more optimized hormones!
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    Even if I did get bulky, which I know I wouldn't...oh well. It is so frustrating to try to do things for you and get the backhanded comments. I'm so glad to be in such a supportive community. :) i'm going to keep doing what I am doing! Thanks guys. :)
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    The only can you can do is turn your frustration into motivation like you said. Some ppl hear "us" talk about strength and working out along with eating healthy and secretly wish it was them. You have been so active and such a good role model.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Ummm...
    You could tell them that as women age and have decreased estrogen levels that their muscle mass and bone density decrease leaving them much more susceptible to injury and fractures.
    Regular weight bearing exercises greatly diminish this risk, not to mention a healthier body decreases the risk of heart disease, diabetes etc.
    Tell them that as you grow older, you want to be an asset to this society rather than a liability like them...
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    Even if I did get bulky, which I know I wouldn't...oh well. It is so frustrating to try to do things for you and get the backhanded comments. I'm so glad to be in such a supportive community. :) i'm going to keep doing what I am doing! Thanks guys. :)

    We're only supportive when we agree with you (or you come with science to *****slap our ill informed opinion). Never forget that, and you'll do well here. ;)

    That being said, my wife lifts heavier than half of the guys at our gym, and most people seem to think she's rather attractive. We went to our first powerlifting meet together last weekend, and she's considering competing now...and by considering, I mean she already bought a damned singlet and is looking forward to a lift date in May. xD

    Bottom line, do what you enjoy, make yourself how you wish to be, and to hell with everyone else...especially those who have no clue what they are talking about.
  • jenj1313
    jenj1313 Posts: 898 Member
    My favorite quote of late comes in handy so frequently in the forums...

    "Don't worry about what people think about you... they don't do it very often".

    Seriously, tell 'em to shove it!
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    Hopefully one day all of these myths about women and weightlifting will be dispelled. A lot of them are spread by people that know nothing about it

    Exactly, and even going 'here is the facts' doesn't make them change their minds.
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
    Ummm...
    You could tell them that as women age and have decreased estrogen levels that their muscle mass and bone density decrease leaving them much more susceptible to injury and fractures.
    Regular weight bearing exercises greatly diminish this risk, not to mention a healthier body decreases the risk of heart disease, diabetes etc.
    Tell them that as grow older, you want to be an asset to this society rather than a liability like them...

    ^This!
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    Even if I did get bulky, which I know I wouldn't...oh well. It is so frustrating to try to do things for you and get the backhanded comments. I'm so glad to be in such a supportive community. :) i'm going to keep doing what I am doing! Thanks guys. :)

    We're only supportive when we agree with you (or you come with science to *****slap our ill informed opinion). Never forget that, and you'll do well here. ;)

    That being said, my wife lifts heavier than half of the guys at our gym, and most people seem to think she's rather attractive. We went to our first powerlifting meet together last weekend, and she's considering competing now...and by considering, I mean she already bought a damned singlet and is looking forward to a lift date in May. xD

    Bottom line, do what you enjoy, make yourself how you wish to be, and to hell with everyone else...especially those who have no clue what they are talking about.

    Trust me, i won't forget. :) and good luck to your wife, i'll be cheering her on!
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    Ummm...
    You could tell them that as women age and have decreased estrogen levels that their muscle mass and bone density decrease leaving them much more susceptible to injury and fractures.
    Regular weight bearing exercises greatly diminish this risk, not to mention a healthier body decreases the risk of heart disease, diabetes etc.
    Tell them that as grow older, you want to be an asset to this society rather than a liability like them...

    ^This!

    I do like that a like and that is the truth.
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    You shouldn't be surprised by the response. Remember, half of the people you ever meet are below average. At least when you talk about lifting weights (or in my case about owning snakes) they're good at identifying themselves for you.
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    You got all of those comments in one day?

    I have to wonder where these things were said.

    It was family and yeah I did. But my husband is being very supportive so that is a plus.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    You shouldn't be surprised by the response. Remember, half of the people you ever meet are below average. At least when you talk about lifting weights (or in my case about owning snakes) they're good at identifying themselves for you.

    "they're good at identifying themselves for you."

    That's good:happy:
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    Yes, it is good.
  • mommy7
    mommy7 Posts: 153
    People have no idea! I've heard the comments and now just roll my eyes or point out how small I am from lifting. If we are suppose to get big and bulky, I'm doing something wrong, lol.
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    This is why I keep all my weight lifting conversations limited to MFP.
  • HartJames
    HartJames Posts: 789 Member
    Unless its someone very supportive and close to me I just don't talk about myself because people will always pick you apart. I used to over share thinking those who asked where really interested. They're not. No one gives a *kitten* about my medical issues, my bad day or what I'm doing at the gym. Time to pull out the short answer that satisfies and move the convo along I say!
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
    Just let it slide off your back. No matter what you do or what you look like, someone's going to have an "issue" with it, and sometimes that someone has a big mouth and no filter between the brain and vocal cords.

    You do what YOU want and work for the body YOU want, and let the rest of the world just deal with it.
  • CassieReannan
    CassieReannan Posts: 1,479 Member
    Forget about them, they obviously have no idea. You are going to look fabulous AND burn more fat then them :P
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    I've learned my lesson. Not worth it, i'm sticking to you all!
  • giggitygoo
    giggitygoo Posts: 1,978 Member
    Here's what I say:

    "Good thing I'm not trying to look attractive for YOU, then. My body, my problem"
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    My (firefighter) husband off-handedly jokes that he doesn't want me to have bigger shoulders than him.

    No worries I tell him. I can't lift more than 10# for overhead press reps if my life depended on it.

    Besides, he's 6'5" and benches some obscene amount.

    I'm a 5'8" wimp ... :tongue:

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