"fat girl/boy complex" after losing a lot of weight?

brey1986
brey1986 Posts: 35 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Heyy yall =]
I'm wondering how common it is to still be extremely self conscious about your body, even after losing a lot of weight?
I have lost over 60 lbs and been overweight for quite a long time...I notice that I am super paranoid about what my body looks like, and many times I have to go find a reflection in public, to check my image...as if it were possible for more fat to just "appear". I HATE it. Is it because I was so uncomfortable in my own skin for so long? Has anyone else struggled with this?? Does it go away over time when you get more used to your "new body"?
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Replies

  • joneslnb
    joneslnb Posts: 14 Member
    I experienced something similar. I lost 45 pounds and had body image issues. My mind didn't realize what I had achieved until I looked at pictures later and all I could think was, 'that's me!' It's very important to surround yourself with supportive, positive people who can give you perspective of how great you actually look and what you have achieved.
  • Reese61477
    Reese61477 Posts: 53 Member
    Yes I still have moments when I don't recognize my reflection. It does get better, but it takes time to get used to the new you. :)
  • MetSox129
    MetSox129 Posts: 69 Member
    i still have fatboy complex terribly. i've lost 70 pounds over the last year and still feel as disgusting as i did at my heaviest. there are times i'll look in the mirror and still see my former fat self as i'm still far from my goal. really sucks, but i'm hoping to get over it soon
  • HIITMe
    HIITMe Posts: 921 Member
    when I gained weight, I still saw myself as thin until I saw a picture of myself and thought WTF.. and who is that and how did she let herself go?

    now that Ive lost significant weight, I still see the fat chick in the mirror....


    it takes the mind a long time to catch up with the body
  • joneslnb
    joneslnb Posts: 14 Member
    i still have fatboy complex terribly. i've lost 70 pounds over the last year and still feel as disgusting as i did at my heaviest. there are times i'll look in the mirror and still see my former fat self as i'm still far from my goal. really sucks, but i'm hoping to get over it soon

    This makes me sad
  • badmojo108
    badmojo108 Posts: 72
    i still have fatboy complex terribly. i've lost 70 pounds over the last year and still feel as disgusting as i did at my heaviest. there are times i'll look in the mirror and still see my former fat self as i'm still far from my goal. really sucks, but i'm hoping to get over it soon

    I can completely relate, I was 245 at my highest and down to 186 now, still a bit to go for me but I have made good progress. If I look in the mirror I feel just as fat as I did when I was at my heaviest. What I do is I keep a pair of my old jeans and an old shirt in the closet and try them on when I am feeling down about my weight or feel really far from my goal.

    I think a lot if it is because I see myself everyday. There was never a big change in between 245 and 186, it was just day after day of imperceptible changes that added up to a big change. I also think that at 245 I only felt kinda fat, when in reality I was morbidly obese and should have felt much more worse than just "fat". Now that I am 186 and merely a little fat I still feel kinda fat, cause truthfully I am.
  • irenematilda
    irenematilda Posts: 45 Member
    I think that's why I feel just as uncomfortable as I do flattered when people compliment me on weightloss. Part of me is thinking 'Ugh. You can still see the 'old' me (only you're prepared to alude to how gross she was now). I'm never really going to shake her off, am I?'
  • jjrichard83
    jjrichard83 Posts: 483 Member
    Shallow Hal styles!
  • celebrity328
    celebrity328 Posts: 377 Member
    Every single day! Some days are worse then others but over all I still struggle daily. I have heard it gets better as time goes on I sure hope so :)!
  • alexveksler
    alexveksler Posts: 409 Member
    I am down 78 LBS and still think I am fat. Although some say I don't need to lose anymore weight, I feel I do. I am back in my size 30 pants from the size of 38 and should be happy about this, but I don't
  • brey1986
    brey1986 Posts: 35 Member
    Im kind of surprised that so many others have this problem too. One this that worries me, is never being able to stop losing weight. I'm 5'1 and 124 lbs currently. "Ideal weight chart" says I should be like 116, but when I look in the mirror I still see maybe 20 lbs that m guessing needs to go for me to be happy. Since i've got this complex...it makes me wonder...once I get down to like 110, which is my goal...will I be satisfied? I'm scared I will never be happy. I don't want to spend the rest of my life trying to fix a problem in my body that only exists in my mind!
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  • htimsm87
    htimsm87 Posts: 104 Member
    Maybe find a comparison picture and have a before/after shot posted somewhere so you can easily see and remind yourself how far you really have come.
  • JennetteMac
    JennetteMac Posts: 763 Member
    Oh yes indeed.
    I began losing weight nearly 4 years ago (not intentionally, but due to emotionall reasons) and although I have kept it off I am still counting calories, panicking if I add a couple of pounds and constantly looking in the mirror. My daughter still has to put up with me asking her if I am "bigger than that lady over there", or "as thin as the girl by the door is", etc. So insecure in myself. Wish I could kick it as I should be enjoying being slim, not worrying if I am slim enough.
  • courtniemarie
    courtniemarie Posts: 172 Member
    i still have fatboy complex terribly. i've lost 70 pounds over the last year and still feel as disgusting as i did at my heaviest. there are times i'll look in the mirror and still see my former fat self as i'm still far from my goal. really sucks, but i'm hoping to get over it soon

    I can completely relate, I was 245 at my highest and down to 186 now, still a bit to go for me but I have made good progress. If I look in the mirror I feel just as fat as I did when I was at my heaviest. What I do is I keep a pair of my old jeans and an old shirt in the closet and try them on when I am feeling down about my weight or feel really far from my goal.

    I think a lot if it is because I see myself everyday. There was never a big change in between 245 and 186, it was just day after day of imperceptible changes that added up to a big change. I also think that at 245 I only felt kinda fat, when in reality I was morbidly obese and should have felt much more worse than just "fat". Now that I am 186 and merely a little fat I still feel kinda fat, cause truthfully I am.

    agreed
  • minsch
    minsch Posts: 144 Member
    I am still a long way from my final goal but have lost over 100lbs when I look in the mirror I still see the old me....when I exercise I still think I can't do that because I am to fat and my body will be in the way. I am just starting to realize that my body can do things that were impossible in the past. I hope my brain will hurry up and catch up with my body! I am very self conscious and when people tell me that I look great....I think that they are just trying to be nice and not telling me the truth.
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
    I've lost 40lbs and know I look good and get lots of compliments but I do get that feeling a lot of the time. I'm trying to convince myself that it is all in my head and I should be happy with what I have achieved. :)
  • TNR32
    TNR32 Posts: 110 Member
    I lost quite a bit of weight before I joined the navy but I didn't feel quite like the skinny girl my recruiter said I. He told me I was lucky if I was up to 14% BF. But I didn't feel good about my body until after bootcamp 8 weeks of working out and getting toned then I felt good. I think you need to hit your goal weight to feel good about your body and remember you are getting healthier.
  • Christie0428
    Christie0428 Posts: 221 Member
    YES! I can totally relate. 9 years ago I lost 128 lbs and got down to a size 6, I was more self conscious and worries about my appearance and looking fat than i was at my heaviest... I actually think that bad body image is the main reason I gained all the weight back... I still saw myself as fat so I made it a reality again...
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    I have my good and bad days. I sometimes hesitate sitting at a booth in a restaurant because my mind still thinks I won't fit. I also see the old me in the mirror a lot.
  • Gabriall
    Gabriall Posts: 101 Member
    i failed to see the loss so badly that my self distructiveness and emotional binge eating caused me to put all 10 stone back on....well just over 3 stone down again, being veryverycareful to document in ways my eyes can not deny - measurements/photographs/clothing etc..
  • Alisha_countrymama
    Alisha_countrymama Posts: 821 Member
    Yes I have this...I have alot of skin issues now, saggy skin. It's bad. So I still look in the mirror and see a fat girl.
  • Nadbeaner
    Nadbeaner Posts: 2 Member
    I feel the same way after all the weight I have lost I feel more self conscious than I did before. We need to not beat ourselves up but instead look how far we have come! (o:
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    Change is hardest on the mind, not on the body. That is why poor people who win multi million lottery jackpots are poor again in a short period of time and why so many people who manage to lose weight and get in shape go back to where they started, or worse.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
    i still have fatboy complex terribly. i've lost 70 pounds over the last year and still feel as disgusting as i did at my heaviest. there are times i'll look in the mirror and still see my former fat self as i'm still far from my goal. really sucks, but i'm hoping to get over it soon

    Yeah, I know how you feel. Losing weight hasn't changed my self-image at all, I still think I look the exact same, certainly no better, just a bit smaller.

    I'm actually quite a bit more aware of how *weak* I am when it comes to strength. The number on the scale is OK, and I have no desire for it go down that much - but my body proportions are just all wrong.
  • dianebpotter
    dianebpotter Posts: 31
    Yes, and yes again. I have on several different times lost large amounts of weight by fasting etc, hence why I am here this time to do it right. I never ever really could see myself in the mirror differently, I was always still that fat girl. Reality was i had lost 100 pounds in 6 months, but other than clothing size changing, I never seen it . My friends and family kept telling me I looked so good, but I thought it was just pity for the fat girl. I of course gained it all back plus more, because I still never had * SEEN* the results and got frustrated because I was still fat.

    I think that is why so many people suffer from eating disorders today, because of their own self image of themselves aren't clear they can't get pass seeing the fat girl /guy in the mirror no matter if they weigh 150 or 98.

    I have gave this a lot of thought this time through because I want to be successful long term and not just temporary as before. Once I have lost at least 75 (half my goal of 150) I am going to attend counseling. I think this will not only allow me to help absorb the fact that I have worked hard to achieve this goal, I believe our journey is not just body but also mind. We have to do something to change our self image of ourselves so that all our hard work doesn't go unnoticed to us the main reason why are losing weight or becoming healthier or more fit whatever the case may be.
  • prokomds
    prokomds Posts: 318 Member
    I think it takes the brain some time to catch up with the body, no question. Readjusting your mind to being fitter is hard, but it's a good problem to have.

    My suggestion is to take some pictures when you're feeling happy, feeling comfortable in your body (maybe an outfit that you're proud of, maybe when you're out with friends, whatever). Something positive that you can look at when you're feeling down. Look at how happy I was on that day - not nitpicking that you could still lose an inch here, an inch there. Find positive memories that you can remind yourself of in your bad moments. It's hard! It's definitely hard, but would you rather still be at your bigger size? You know you've made huge progress, you have to find a way to wrap your head around it and have some pride in that fact.
  • LauraDotts
    LauraDotts Posts: 732 Member
    Taking pictures along the way is helping me. I still have a lot of weight to lose. So, when I look in the mirror I still see how fat I am. Seeing pictures of where I was and where I am now lets me see that, yes, I am 80 pounds lighter.
  • Evachiquita
    Evachiquita Posts: 223 Member
    As others have said, it's all mental at this point. Sometimes I do not feel like the fit person I have become. And I have friends and co-workers who tell me all the time how good I look and how awesome it is that I'm so active and racing bikes. But sometimes when I look in the mirror I still see all the weight I want to lose, especially compared to other racers and people in the biking/fitness community. Other times though I see a new fit, happy, healthy person who's constantly working to make her life better. All that being said, I want to wear a bikini for the first time this summer, and feel good in it. That is going to be the hard part!

    Also just focus on all the positive things in your life. And keep telling yourself that you are attractive, beautiful (inside and out), amazing, smart, funny, and whatever else it is you want to believe about yourself. Positive thinking can go a long way! I know that yoga has helped me with my mental health the past few years, maybe you could give it a try? Or find some self-help books to read.
  • shellbatronic
    shellbatronic Posts: 193
    Ha yah it can take such a long time. My doctor asked my weight last week and I went "334" without even thinking, even though I haven't been that for over a year.

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