support for Binge Eating Disorder

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tvgal
tvgal Posts: 87
in Motivation and Support
Hey all,

I've been dealing with BED for a few years now, it got really bad my last year of college and then went into "remission" for a few years, but came back at the start of this year in full force. I'm talking to a therapist about it, but i was wondering if anyone out there would be interested in starting a small support group on here.

The group would be for anyone dealing with BED. I'm just looking for someone who can relate to those moments when your heart starts to beat so fast and the only thing you can think about is getting your next "fix." and btw eating a few extra cookies doesn't count. I can seriously down a ridiculously embarrassing amount of food in less then 10 minutes (like 2 days worth of calories), and still want more. Does this sound familiar to anyone out there? Has anyone beat this thing? I try to take this day by day, but it is so fricken exhausting! It would be nice to talk to someone who understands.
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Replies

  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
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    I have a little experience with ED's although less so with the BED....I think this is awful though, as BED affects many more people than the restrictive types. Congrats on discussing this here...It is a very brave thing to do. I believe that health institiutions should spend more time researching this disorder than they currently do throughout the world.

    I wish you well in your recovery and would love to become involved with the group, maybe just to offer support and guidance through behaviour tasks?! But if you want to keep it private that is fine.

    I think you are in the perfect place to change your eatin habits

    Regards,
    Natalie :smile:
  • chelsinicole2
    chelsinicole2 Posts: 4
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    I know how you feel, i can a whole bag of chips and then half a cake after (done it before) lol
    i use this site to regulate my eating, not really to lose weight. It helps alot! I still have those days were i overeat but im seeming to have less and less of them.
  • tvgal
    tvgal Posts: 87
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    Thanks guys, I was hoping more people would tune in! But i understand this is a really personal issue, and definitely not "socially acceptable" behavior any sane person would want to share with the world. I've seriously been scouring the internet and have found nil stories I can relate to.
  • Sebastiansmommy
    Sebastiansmommy Posts: 211
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    I know exactly what you're talking about. I don't really think I'll ever have it under control. I'm really bad too, cuz I tend to do it when my hubby is home but busy, like taking a shower. And I'll just eat everything in the cupboards(I never feel satisfied) and hope he doesn't notice and refill them the next day while hes at work. Especially chips & pasta. I think I actually want him to catch me doing it, Idk.
  • popplylily
    popplylily Posts: 97
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    i used to do that when i was really sick and tried to control everything in my life, the period lasting about 4yrs and it took 2 yrs of forcing myself to eat normal and not think about it, and the binges got less with time till now where i just dont anymore.
    my metabolism is back to normal and i know now i can eat and it wont put on 10 stone and therefore i dont panic and go mad! and if i do... all i have to do is wait until im hungry again to eat and its all good. you should read, the fat fairy godmother books. they are excellent with this.
  • niccup
    niccup Posts: 32
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    Hi! I am sooo happy that you brought this up. I would love to join in the BED support group. Im so tired of eating so much and never feeling like its enough. I dont know how to stop it. I do very well for a while and then Ill have a cheat meal and all hell breaks loose. I will eat many chocolate bars, donuts, chips and LOTS of peanut butter ( just off the spoon). I am very depressed about it too. I binged all weekend and now I just want to sit inside on this beautiful day and cry at how discusting i am. Why is it so hard to gain control over this? I really feel i need the support.
  • tvgal
    tvgal Posts: 87
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    It's so nice to hear from you. It sucks that we all have to deal with this, but there's something a little comforting in knowing that there's a bunch of us. I have fallen off the wagon BIGTIME over the last 10 Days. I've sort of felt it coming for awhile now - I started bingeing again last fall and they have become more and more frequent. I really lost it last week. But I'm determined to stop this thing.

    I was trying to describe the feeling i get right before it happens to my Mom, and she just sort of looked at me like, "PUT THE SPOON DOWN AND WALK AWAY." I tried to explain how it's just not that easy! it's like OCD - i. can't. stop. thinking. about. it. i get gittery and ancy, and start to plan out my doom (if it hits while im at work and can't eat anything right away). The thoughts just fester and grow and grow, until the numb part of me takes over. I don't know how else to explain why i do this over and over and over. I can't figure out why in the moment of it all I can somehow rationalize with myself that this is okay behavior, and it really won't do too much damage. often i think one bite, just one. well i need to quit fooling myself. just taking one bite - for me, one bite and KABOOM! it's best just to not start.

    The worst part of this all is, that whenever it happens i feel completely worthless afterwards. i definitely don't want to be around people, heck even looking in the mirror is hard. Today I'm at work in my fat jeans and a baseball hat because i was so disgusted with myself i overslept and didn't have time or see the point even in taking a shower and wearing makeup or doing my hair.

    Mind you i'm usually a happy person, and usually not this bad after a bingeing spree - I tend to pep talk myself up and be hyper active with exercise for the next week until I've burned every calorie off, just to go on another binge and undo all of my hard work. :grumble: :grumble: :grumble: but for some reason i've been having a really hard time this week.

    I started using the blog link on this site to journal what i'm feeling. It's so unlike me - I'm usually really private. but something's gotta change, so I'm going to try writing about it before it happens. I've seriously scoured the internet looking for books and personal stories about BED but haven't really found any i can personally relate to. Hopefully journaling my way back to sanity will help me find whatever it is that I'm missing. Maybe it will help someone else too?

    Anyway, if anyone needs to vent or "be talked down" just post here or message me and I promise I'll do my best! I know this is a really personal struggle but for me i think keeping it all to myself is a big contributor to my bingeing.
  • popplylily
    popplylily Posts: 97
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    it takes so much time to get over this disorder. talking or therapy i dont think would have helped me, just maybe talking with other people as friends and knowing i was not alone at the time may have helped.. or... realsing that somethin BIG is wrong inmy life to cause this.. mine was my boyfriend, lovely but i wasnt in love and i felt trapped sometimes. it took me yrs to figure it out, it stopped shortly after i plucked up the courage to move out..
  • MrsBattousai
    MrsBattousai Posts: 171
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    Hey!

    I'm so glad I'm not the only dealing with this, I need help, this is the first time I have talked about this problem besides to my husband I just don't know how to control the eating sometimes. It comes on all of sudden like I can not get enough to eat. It is almost like if I don't eat it someone else is going to eat and then I won't get any. I knoe it sounds weird but I don't know how to discribe it. I turned to food the first time I can remember when my mom got sick with cancer when I was 6. So every time I would be happy or sad or stressed I would turn to food. Then see died 9 years ago and I have been doing worse I put on like 100 pounds. I have lost it now but I really sarced I will put it on again. But it is never in public it is when I'm be myself or I will hid it so no one can see my doing it. I remember one day one of my kids came up to me and asked mommy why are you still eating you have eaten alot and I said I;m hungry but I really was not.

    so this post is great tks for sharing I thought I was alone and it was all in my head that no one else goes through this. But after reading what you guys have posted I feel much better. I hope we can help each other. So what do you guys do to help yourself from eating everything in sight? And are you seeking help with this?
  • hopeitworks
    hopeitworks Posts: 284 Member
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    So glad you posted this. I know exactly how you feel. To me it feels like something takes over me, and once I start the "feeding frenzy", I can't stop. I can inhale a huge amount of junk food in a short period of time (I say "inhale" because I don't even realize I'm chewing and eating it). It's usually sweet junk food such as cookies, multigrain bars, etc. Afterwards, I am so mad and disgusted at myself. It's not even an issue of self-control. It's like there's some type of monster inside that goes a little crazy. It's not something that happens every day, but when it does, it's such a horrible feeling afterwards. Those who have not experienced this just cannot understand the feeling. Good luck to you in your attempt to overcome the craziness. I wish you a world of success. Please post often, as I can really use some pointers. Thanks again for posting and sharing.
  • MrsBattousai
    MrsBattousai Posts: 171
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    tks for posting as well! I'm going to go see a dr. to help with it and maybe a therapist to help deal with the monster. I will kepp posting as well If I get any ideas on what to do with this as well!
  • MrsBattousai
    MrsBattousai Posts: 171
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    Having a way better day then yesterday hopefully it stays that way, trying really hard not to think about food and I'm being very careful to really think about what I'm eating and thinking about trying not to eat to much of one thing. So far so good! Mind over matter right!

    Good luck to you all as well!
  • AtomicLemon
    AtomicLemon Posts: 60 Member
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    It is a CONSTANT battle. have struggled with this for a long time. It seems sinful to love food so much, and to crave it and want it so badly. So badly that at times, I cannot stop. Last week I found myself in the garage puking because I ate so much. I couldn't go into the bathroom, because I was afraid my family would hear it. Once it was behind a market after I had devoured a box of cookies and quart of milk. Sometimes I would drive through several fast food places and just eat, eat eat ...When will it end? Seems I am an extremist. I am either binging - or only eating fruits and vegetables. I need to find a balance. I have lived with this shame and disgust for too long. I need to lose this weight once and for all and do it the RIGHT way. BALANCED.

    I started here in April, then "messed up" again .. so I am back - just started again a few days ago. So far so good.

    Big hugs to all of you who struggle with this!!!

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  • MrsBattousai
    MrsBattousai Posts: 171
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    We all feel your pain we are here for ya! And very glad to have you back on again this web-site really does help you I few tips track all your food daily and track everything and you can see some prattens when you binge eat then try to be very busy at those times to keep your mind off food. Also when you feel the urge trying changing what your doing like going for a walk or working out or get up and do something. Pick up hobby as well! Or try to keep your hands busy like playing cards or knitting or doing puzzle that what I do!

    O and Good luck!
  • MrsBattousai
    MrsBattousai Posts: 171
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    So I went to the Drs. today I told him everything that is going on and how I needed help. Well he was very understanding and I'm on the wait list to go to an eating disorder clinic but it is going to take time. So hopefully I can control my eating and excerise enough to keep most of the weight off. Having a bad binge day today, hopefully it will get better! I hope you guys are having got days with your eating!
  • tvgal
    tvgal Posts: 87
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    Hey guys, sorry it's been awhile....I've still been struggling off an on. Last week I ate so much I made myself physically ill and almost called in sick to work. Seriously! Like someone mentioned, I'm the same way...off or on. either stick to my calories 100% or one slip of an extra cookie or something and I'm done for. Ick. So far I've had 3 binge free days. Yesterday was really, really close...I got really anxious at the end of the day and then went straight for the chocolate. BUT, for once I actually decided that I would eat the candy and then BE DONE. and I went to the gym so i ended up being ok with my calories. I went to see my therapist and totally broke down crying this week. I think i needed to because ever since then I have felt in more control of this...we'll see if it keeps up!

    AtomicLemon - I know the feeling of "messing up"! I have seriously been doing that every dag gone weekend. I eat great during the week, exercise every day, and then majorly f up on friday night. I have gained back 15 of the 90 lbs I have previously lost. I guess as long as we pick up the pieces, that's the important thing!!!
  • wanderinglight
    wanderinglight Posts: 1,519 Member
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    I'm so happy to see this topic posted, and think you are so brave to put it out there. This community is so supportive and everyone is always here to catch you if you fall.

    Would attending Overeaters Anon help at all?

    I was doing a little research and came across this article. It's interesting -- I didn't know that BED was more common than bulimia or anoerexia. This site is for a program to overcome it, so take or leave that part of it. I just found it very interesting to read the quotes and descriptions of what a "food trance" felt like. I have been there. And I am the same way where one cookie can be a "gateway cookie" that leads to a binge. It has been better for me over the past few years once I started thinking of food as "my alcoholism." I simply cannot treat food the same way other people can. Just as alcoholics can't treat one drink the way non-alcoholics can. Unfair but true. There are many times that I look at a box of cookies or a dish of candy on a co-workers desk and think "that's not for you. That is for other people; not for you."

    http://www.shrinkyourself.com/why_we_binge.asp?bhcp=1
  • tlapdx72
    tlapdx72 Posts: 311 Member
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    I would love to join this group. I have been dealing with this as well. I can do fine all day at work, and then when I come home I eat for about two hours. I keep telling myself that I need to stop this, but if there is something sweet in the house I feel like I need to eat it until its gone. I also will eat pretty much anything else too. I even find myself eating foods that I really don't even like. I have only come to realize that my problem is an ED. It is so helpful to talk to others that have this problem too. For a very long time I just thought that I was just being a pig. I am hoping that finally figuring out that this is an eating disorder, I will be able to turn this around. I work out about five days a week. I had lost about 40 pounds, but I have gained about 10 pounds back. I need to lose about 60 more pounds. Even though I have a good exercise schedule it doesn't help if I eat WAY OVER my calories.

    Thanks so much for starting this group. I think this will be sooooo helpful :flowerforyou:
  • MrsBattousai
    MrsBattousai Posts: 171
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    I never thought of food that way but my eyes are open your are so right. When I start I can not stop. When I was 16 years old I went off junk food for 2 years but one I had one chip and it was off from there. But I'm going to try that no cookies or sweets for me it is so true food can be like a drug for peeps like us. I'm trying to think of food as fuel for my body by putting in the good stuff so it runs really good and leaving the bad stuff right where it should be.

    Good luck to you!
  • LotusF1ower
    LotusF1ower Posts: 1,259 Member
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    Hey all,

    I've been dealing with BED for a few years now, it got really bad my last year of college and then went into "remission" for a few years, but came back at the start of this year in full force. I'm talking to a therapist about it, but i was wondering if anyone out there would be interested in starting a small support group on here.

    The group would be for anyone dealing with BED. I'm just looking for someone who can relate to those moments when your heart starts to beat so fast and the only thing you can think about is getting your next "fix." and btw eating a few extra cookies doesn't count. I can seriously down a ridiculously embarrassing amount of food in less then 10 minutes (like 2 days worth of calories), and still want more. Does this sound familiar to anyone out there? Has anyone beat this thing? I try to take this day by day, but it is so fricken exhausting! It would be nice to talk to someone who understands.

    Hi! I do not have BED but just wanted to say my heart goes out to you - I didn't even know there was such a thing to be honest! I can see too, how it would be exhausting because thinking about food must be consuming so much of your time and I bet you feel crappy after eating it all too!

    I used to eats lots of chocolate and sweets, found it nigh on impossible to stop actually, eventually managed it when I started my eating plan four weeks ago. I have quit eating choccie before but as soon as I cave in and have, say, one chocolate bar, I just craved more and more until I was eating loads in one day.

    BED sound incredibly like the food addiction ailment that some people have.

    I think that it is a brilliant idea of yours to start a support group! :flowerforyou:

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