support for Binge Eating Disorder

Krymsen

Hey!

Bad binge day! I'm really trying it feels like I'm going no where fast. I have been to support grops been reading books reaching out to my family and nothing seems to be helping.

I know I'm the one who puts the food in and makes the chioces. I kind of wish someone else would do it for me. I'm a mom so I always put myself last so when I started my weight loss it was the first time I thought about me. But I feel hopeless with this. It seems I can't get it. It is a never ending cyle.

I so good for a couple of days and then bang it hits me again. I just don't know.

Trying to move on and not think about it.

Melissa

Behavior_Modification

Trying to move on and not think about it.

That's the best thing you can do right now. :flowerforyou:

vikkij12

www.shrinkyourself.com

I have found the above site to be really good it has really hit the spot on a lot of issues which I am working on, gives insite as to why we do things and then if we can do that we can work on them.

Have a good day

tatiana_13

Hi all. I've just found your group. I've struggled with BED for a long time. To make a long story short: I found strategies to deal with it. They work best when I live alone and am single, unfortunately. Fortunately, I'm not single at the moment! Unfortunately, my strategies aren't working so well (no binge foods in the house, I avoid food with flour and sugar--the abstinence model except with a few exceptions). I actually fear going over to my girl friends house because eating her food will trigger a later binge.

And she buys me candy. And she works in a bakery. Ah! She, of course, is athletic, active, and slim.

So, I'm trying to be more abstinent with my abstinence. That helped in the past. It's a struggle, but I have never been able to eat one cookie, one Danish, one slice of cake. One turns to two, turns to whole cake, with a side of cookies, bag of chips, and a pizza. If I don't start the chain, the binge won't happen.

Also, when I do binge, I try to just accept it. It's done, I'm not going to beat myself up for it, AND, I'm not going to binge again tomorrow just because I binged today.

I don't claim it always works, but it helps mr sometimes.

slansdown

Today was a bad food day. Most days are not great. I have not yet gotten a day under calorie goal in the 30 or 40 days I have been counting my food. I think that I will try to connect better with this set of posts. I went to a Chinese food buffet. I seem to find one in every city. During lunch hour, I ate two days worth of food. I am sad about it, and I am starting to get hopeless that I will lose weight, or find within me the willingness that I have found in the past. I don't know where it is.

Krymsen

Welcome slansdown & tatiana

Slansdown- I understand I'm going through the same things right know. What I'm trying is not to worry so much about food I talk about it think it and it consumes most of my day. So I'm trying to fill my day with something else to keep me busy. One idea for your lunch time is go to a Market or grocery store and buy your lunch there. Because then you have a bigger slection and fresh fruit and veg without all the extras.

tatiana_13- I understand about the whole not be able to eat just one cookie, That my problem too, people think I'm crazy not treating myself same but it just puts me in a binge as well. So I'm going to try not to strat with my triggers. Have you tryed telling your girlfriends about your problem? Then it will be easyeir for you to say no without feeling guilty about. And good job about not feeling bad.

Good luck to you guys and Welcome

Melissa

tatiana_13

Thanks for the welcome Melissa!

I suppose I could tell my girlfriend. But most people just have a really hard time understanding bingeing as a disorder. And when its portrayed on tv and documentaries, the visual is always morbid obesity. And its often really just "big eaters" rather than real bingers. So people look at me and don't believe I have a disorder. This actually became a big problem in a past relationship. Long term where we lived together. Even when I expressly asked her not too, she would *bake brownies* and then say, one isn't going to hurt you! So I'm not so keen on trying to have this discussion with another person. Its a little painful to be in a situation where you are not only explaining something to someone, but then have to defend it. [Honey, I'm a heroin addict. No really. I can't have any. No, Heroin IS addictive. No, I can''t just shoot up once a month. No, I don't want crack for my birthday...]

I figure that if I just continue saying "no", she will stop bringing them to me. It worked with the candy. When I stopped enthusiastically eating them in front of her, they stopped coming. And, I also think its ultimately not fair to expect someone who doesn't have my problem to never bring it into the house...although they can learn to stop pushing them on me. I think I need to learn some additional strategies as well.

And to slansdown.... sometimes find it easier to "make the choice before the choice." So, instead of going to an Indian buffet and then trying not to overeat (my version of the Chinese buffet), I just don't go if I can help it. Generally, I don't go anyplace marked "buffet." Melissa is spot on about going to a healthier place to eat. Once you get there, choosing better food won't be as hard. Making the choice before the choice often works better than trying to be "a really disciplined person" and making "the right choice" in a bad situation...trying to make yourself order the tasteless iceberg lettuce salad at a pizza joint is something only a saint would do. And most of us are not saints. Trying to lose weight at the same time you are actively binging may also be too much (not saying it is for you, but just something to think about). Although people tell you "losing weight is easy...just eat healthier!" they are lying. Its hard. Its tough. Its spiritually taxing. Not every moment, but enough moments certainly are. So if you are feeling bad about yourself not just because you are binging but also because you are not losing weight, its hard to stay motivated. My first "weight loss goal" was simply to maintain. For me, it was the right thing at the right time. I needed to be happy about my successes in cutting down on binging and overeating before I could focus on weight loss.

Behavior_Modification

Hi Ladies,

I'm here and doing okay. It's been a so so week across the board. Each day I've basically been having mini binges at night before bed. Even last night when I thought I'd be fine because my mouth hurt from all the dental work I had yesterday afternoon. Isn't it funny how I have no problem shoving sweets in even when it hurts. I know you understand. This mini bingeing is bad, it is my typical binge behavior and I do want so badly to change my behavior so I will continue keeping at it and trying new things each and every day so that I can learn this new behavior.

I also have to stay away from buffets. I went with my fiancee to one last weekend that had lots of healthy choices and I was so good with the food ( I had a big salad w/ ff dressing, a bunch of fresh fruit, sirloin steak, and just a spoonful of a few other not so healthy items) and then when it was time to choose dessert I was way too weak. I wanted one of this and one of that and before I knew it I was walking back to the table with an entire dinner place full of junk. I ate about 1/3 of it and started feeling sick so we left (a blessing actually). I like it when junk food and/or overeating makes me feel ill because otherwise I will keep eating. I wish it always did that. That would surely ward off the binges.

slansdown

I had a good day yesterday. I did volume eating (ate a big soup for lunch and a big salad for dinner). But I did not binge. I did not overeat at all really. I felt really comfortable and stayed within my calorie goal. I am also off to a good start today. This makes me hopeful. I was binging on sugar a lot. And I have been also finding that this almost always makes me go over the calorie goal, which is now set at 1 1/2 pounds a week or 1520 calories.

Getting a day was a big success for me.

Behavior_Modification

I have found it so helpful that my immediate friends and family know exactly what is going on with me and why I'm doing what I'm doing. I agree that the general population doesn't not understand binge eating the way we need them to. This does indeed make it very difficult to talk about it. I do not discuss my "condition" with just anyone but those who I am closest to have to know. If they don't know then it would be a constant struggle every time an indulgence situation arose. It was very weird in the beginning when I first started telling people and trying to explain it but now that it is my ongoing lifestyle, they respect my decisions and are very understanding. They no longer question why I turn things down, they no longer are offended when I don't eat what they eat, holidays are easier, parties are easier. It is an addiction and we need to take the necessary precautions to keep it in check. I encourage us all to talk to our family & friends and let them know what is going on with us. It will help.

Krymsen

Hey!

Glad to hear for everyone we are all getting there. I have one or two good days then one bad dat. But I'm getting there trying to stay postive and trying new ideas on how to stop I'm just going to keep going it takes time to stop a bad habit. So no point beating myself because of it. I'll get there one day at a time.

Good luck to all this weekend

Melissa

Krymsen

Hey!

So a bad day today, I logged in my food to see how bad it was like 6000 cals wow. I hopping that this will be a kick start me into eating better. I never log it in because it makes me feel worse but I feel it was time to really deal with it instead of hiding from it. wow what a wake up call. It feels good to be honest with myself though. Time to start up new again.

Here we go!

Melissa

Behavior_Modification

Another step in the right direction Mel---you're learning too, every day. That's all we can do, keep learning. Learn from our mistakes, learn from our patterns, and figure this stuff out and just think of the day way back when you wouldn't have even given it another thought. But no more, now we are bettering ourselves. You and I both girlie! I'm still doing fine today but you know me, night is my downfall. Today has been a good day though. I had a revelation that I am no longer the fattest person in the room. You can check out my success story I wrote if you'd like.

What time zone are you on Melissa?

Krymsen

Hey!

Tks I'm MST time. My bad time is in the early morning and during the day when kids are at school. It is 6:17p.m. right now. Stress is my down fall something gets to me and I eat.

I do early morning papers I'm up at 2a.m. to go to work then home at 6:00a.m. So I really having a hard time if I should eat before work then after again.

Good news is I'm starting a new program to help better educate myself and fight binging. It starts tomorrow. It teachs on how to eat tracking Cals and and excerise controling craving and dealing with stress so hopeful it will help.

I really need help to learn how to eat right again. The bad thing is I can not remeber how I ate before I started doing papers that is sad.

I'm also really tired during the day so that doesn't help as well.

Any ideas would be helpful on how I can get back on track.

Tks
Mel

Behavior_Modification

Wow, that's a crazy schedule. :noway:

IsMollyReallyHungry

Hey!

Tks I'm MST time. My bad time is in the early morning and during the day when kids are at school. It is 6:17p.m. right now. Stress is my down fall something gets to me and I eat.

I do early morning papers I'm up at 2a.m. to go to work then home at 6:00a.m. So I really having a hard time if I should eat before work then after again.

Good news is I'm starting a new program to help better educate myself and fight binging. It starts tomorrow. It teachs on how to eat tracking Cals and and excerise controling craving and dealing with stress so hopeful it will help.

I really need help to learn how to eat right again. The bad thing is I can not remeber how I ate before I started doing papers that is sad.

I'm also really tired during the day so that doesn't help as well.

Any ideas would be helpful on how I can get back on track.

Tks
Mel

Keep us posted on the class. It will help. Just keep posting and searching and reading. The true key to success is not giving up and getting rid of that all or nothing, stinking thinking. Learning we are not perfect. Even though we are all having ups and downs we are making progress daily. Just by logging 6000 calories is good also. Before you may have been in denial but by logging it you are facing it and the next time it may be 5000 calories with 2 to 3 good days in between. Have a great day tomorrow and share some of the tips you take away. I look forward to hearing from you!!

sara_xo

this is me in a nutshell.. i eat so much some days that I swear I can't bend over..

worst day ever way the day my ex and i broke up... and then my friend passed away 2 days later...

I went to A&W - 2 teen burgers, large fries, onion rings and a large rootbeer milkshake
McDonalds - bigmac, chicken nuggets, fries, 2 apple pies and 2 mcflurrys,
Krispy Kreme - 24 original donoughts
Tim Hortons - 12 cookies, and 6 honey crullers
Home - and downed an entire carton of juice, w/e was left in the pb jar and candy.

gotta figure it out.. today was much better... i went to extreme pita for dinner had a small pita, had a small booster juice, and 2 starbucks cookies.. (could have done without the cookies) but i haven't gone towards any more food.. thank god..

FabulousFifty

:flowerforyou: Hi you guys,

I used to be an emotional eater and kind of bingy, but I would not say I fell into this category. I did read a helpful book last summer, "Women, Food and God," by Geneen Roth (I think I have the name of the book right...) that I highly recommend for this group. It really helped me understand why I was eating when I was not really hungry for food...sometimes you are hungry for something else in your life....sometimes you have to dig to get to the heart of it....sometimes this habit started in childhood....sometimes.....

This book might help you to dig deep and do some soul searching to find out what you are really hungry for. One forewarning...G. Roth's God is not my God....this is not really a book promoting Christian values.....I am a Christian and thought that I was buying a faith-based book. It is not that at all. However, she is respectful of all faiths and has some great things to say. She is also an author of other books that help those with eating disorders. Check out all of her books at your local bookstore.

You can also find her interviews on Oprah's website. She was featured a few times last summer. Hey, I admire your honesty. That is the first step in your climb over this mountain. My emotional eating is now just a hill....the mountain got smaller after reading this book and spending some time in real reflection. Dig deep and find yourself. You soooooooooooo deserve a life free from these demons.:flowerforyou:

Blessings,
Fab

IsMollyReallyHungry

I have found it so helpful that my immediate friends and family know exactly what is going on with me and why I'm doing what I'm doing. I agree that the general population doesn't not understand binge eating the way we need them to. This does indeed make it very difficult to talk about it. I do not discuss my "condition" with just anyone but those who I am closest to have to know. If they don't know then it would be a constant struggle every time an indulgence situation arose. It was very weird in the beginning when I first started telling people and trying to explain it but now that it is my ongoing lifestyle, they respect my decisions and are very understanding. They no longer question why I turn things down, they no longer are offended when I don't eat what they eat, holidays are easier, parties are easier. It is an addiction and we need to take the necessary precautions to keep it in check. I encourage us all to talk to our family & friends and let them know what is going on with us. It will help.

Very true words of wisdom. It is less stressful and people understand you more and are very supportive when you explain it.

Some do not understand, and I had a few friends who would not cooperate and I had to limit my association with them. They either kept pushing me to eat more or a few of them would not respect my wishes not to do smorgoboards, buffets, and all the all-you-can eat places. All you can eat places do not help me at all and I stay away from them all like a plague is in the food.......:-) More fat food because I will eat like a pig!!

I will pay more to stay out of these food traps. I can't do them and have not did them for over 10 years now. A few of my friends could not respect that so I respect them also and do not go out to eat with them. And after analyzing the relationships I realize this is what we had in common and not much else. They allowed me to be comfortable overeating when my true friends would check me gently if they saw me going over board. But as you all know most binge eating is done in secret.

My Mother, 1 good friend and friends in support groups are the only ones who know I go to OA meetings. Ok I am off my soap box. Just thought this was very good advice. It has helped me tremendously over the years.

IsMollyReallyHungry

Welcome Sara and other new ones! I saw 2 or 3 other new ones and I have to go back and check your posts.

Thanks Fab, I have heard of the book but have not had a chance to buy and I caught a little of her on Oprah also. I may see what they have from her at libary since I do not buy books like this any more. Right now I am too busy to read it but with winter coming I should have some down time.

Have a good weekend everyone!:flowerforyou: