Got REAMED by doctor today.

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crubinetti
crubinetti Posts: 53 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have been at this for 5 weeks now. After 5 weeks and looking back over my life I can clearly see why I have fallen off the wagon so many times. When I diet I feel terrible. I am stiff, hungry and have no sex drive. I am tired. As embarrasing as it is I decided to go to the doctor to just get things checked out. I am internally motivated but considering all the wonderful advertised promises of dieting, I feel pretty rotten. Frankly, worse than I did when I was just getting heavier. So, I go and I can't see the doctor, I have to see a Nurse Practitioner and I have never been treated so badly because of my weight EVER!!!! She made me cry! I gave her my FitBit report and my food diary. In 5 weeks, I went to McDonalds once because I burned the dinner I was cooking and WAS STILL UNDER MY CALORIE GOAL, and I do go to Starbucks for a Skinny Vanilla Latte which she also tore up. Uh, lady that is basically skim milk that you have a problem with. Needless to say, she said "With such a long road to go, What did you think?" Really?!?! I have a mirror. I know "I have a long road to go" but thanks for pointing that out. And I can tell you I didn't think I would feel worse 5 weeks in. I knew the first couple of weeks weren't going to be awsome but by now, I expected to be in a routine. In 5 weeks I have been over my calorie goal 3 days. She said I should eat more protien, ok I'm not sure how when I am over on protien but under on fat and carbs almost all days. Oh and did I mention she said I should exercise less? Not that I am exercising excessively; 30-60 min 6 days a week which I consider a necessary evil. She said I should just have sex anyway if I want to or not. No mention of the fact that I am 35, in a healthy relationship and should want to. She didn't check any labs or do an exam of ANY KIND!! What the heck?? Why was I treated this way?
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Replies

  • elainewitch
    elainewitch Posts: 30 Member
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    Perhaps the person you talked to was an *kitten*. Even if you'd been having horrible overages they could have told you in a different manner.
  • curejenn
    curejenn Posts: 70 Member
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    WOAH WOAH WOAH! New doctor, STAT. This is absolutely crazy! Any doctor I have ever been to would be so thrilled to have someone getting a new healthier lifestyle. Screw them. Seriously.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    It seems reasonable to me to call the office point out her specifically out of line behavior like advising on your sex life (not a sex therapist) and berating your eating plan (not a nutritionist) all she should have talked about were your tests and general stuff regarding your weight and health. I'd further point out that you wanted to see a Dr. and would like to request your money back or that it be applied to your next appointment but with a real dr. this time. No disrespect to NP's but this one clearly thinks that since she can play dr. she can also play dr. ruth, a nutritionist, and mommy.
  • BlueObsidian
    BlueObsidian Posts: 297 Member
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    That's horrible. I am sorry that happened to you. If it happened to me, I'd call the doctor's office and complain...and request never to see that NP again. She didn't help you...or even seem to give constructive criticism. That is not what going to the doctor's office is supposed to be about. I am particularly troubled about her "advice" as to what you should do about having a limited sex drive...that you should just "do it anyways" whether you want to or not. Ugh.

    Hugs,

    This. I would definitely complain. The office should know the way the NP is treating patients. You did nothing to deserve the way she spoke to you! The advice on sex is just about the worst advice I've heard. You are doing a great job and making good progress. Don't let some jerk make you feel terrible about it!
  • trackercasey76
    trackercasey76 Posts: 780 Member
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    It seems reasonable to me to call the office point out her specifically out of line behavior like advising on your sex life (not a sex therapist) and berating your eating plan (not a nutritionist) all she should have talked about were your tests and general stuff regarding your weight and health. I'd further point out that you wanted to see a Dr. and would like to request your money back or that it be applied to your next appointment but with a real dr. this time. No disrespect to NP's but this one clearly thinks that since she can play dr. she can also play dr. ruth, a nutritionist, and mommy.

    ^^^^100% Agree^^^^^
  • jenns1964
    jenns1964 Posts: 384 Member
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    What a *****! Keep your head up and know you are doing great . Don't let some obviously unhappy NP get you down.
  • lintino
    lintino Posts: 526 Member
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    I am sorry you had such a bad time with your NP. Since dieting makes you feel so bad have you thought about seeing a nutritionist? They have much more knowledge about what your body needs for fuel than your current medical practitioner.
  • healthywtb
    healthywtb Posts: 80 Member
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    Never go to that NP or maybe that office again. Find another doctor. Like someone said, most doctor's would be very happy that a patient is working on a positive lifestyle change. The comments were very rude and unproductive.
  • trishmce
    trishmce Posts: 59
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    She is just being a jerk.. Get a new doctor and let them know exactly why you are leaving. She should be encouraging you not belittling you. You are doing fine and keep exercising, it does wonders for you, not just weight loss but bp, cholesterol, lowers your heart rate, reduces stress AND is fun!
    Maybe a house will fall on her!
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
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    Oh look...now I get to add reason number 314 for why I can barely take the medical community seriously anymore.
  • crubinetti
    crubinetti Posts: 53 Member
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    I am sorry you had such a bad time with your NP. Since dieting makes you feel so bad have you thought about seeing a nutritionist? They have much more knowledge about what your body needs for fuel than your current medical practitioner.

    I have actually but I don't think my insurance pays for one. That was one of the reasons I was going to the doctor. This woman just didn't seem interested in helping me.
  • Jaulen
    Jaulen Posts: 468 Member
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    It seems reasonable to me to call the office point out her specifically out of line behavior like advising on your sex life (not a sex therapist) and berating your eating plan (not a nutritionist) all she should have talked about were your tests and general stuff regarding your weight and health. I'd further point out that you wanted to see a Dr. and would like to request your money back or that it be applied to your next appointment but with a real dr. this time. No disrespect to NP's but this one clearly thinks that since she can play dr. she can also play dr. ruth, a nutritionist, and mommy.

    ^^^^100% Agree^^^^^

    I agree with this also.

    At a min. you need to call the office and and explain her behavior (as unemotionally as possible) to the Doctor....not another nurse, or to the office's HR person if they have one.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
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    I'm sorry she made you feel poorly, I know when I am already upset or irritable, everything seems worse. Think exactly how she said things, and what you said to her. I'm 99% sure that the way you took it is not how it was actually presented in her opinion. If you weren't looking for constructive feedback, then why give her that information? Give yourself a little leeway, and the NP too.
  • bizco
    bizco Posts: 1,949 Member
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    I'm sorry that happened to you.

    Just wanted to comment on your protein intake. MFP's default for protein (15% of total calories) is dreadfully low and you're bound to go over your limit every single day. I suggest you customize your macros to a more balanced diet.

    Do this by going to My Home>>Goals>>Change Goals>>Custom. Save your changes.

    My macros are set to 45/30/25% carbs/protein/fat. Another popular split is 40/40/20. Choose whatever is best for you, but I strongly recommend increasing your protein from the default.
  • jynxxxed
    jynxxxed Posts: 1,010 Member
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    Completely awful, find a new doctor! The only thing I agree with is cutting back your exercise. The only reason I say this i because you were just posting recently about the excessive pain you're experiencing. Take a few rest days here and there and go a little easier. :flowerforyou:
  • crubinetti
    crubinetti Posts: 53 Member
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    I'm sorry that happened to you.

    Just wanted to comment on your protein intake. MFP's default for protein (15% of total calories) is dreadfully low and you're bound to go over your limit every single day. I suggest you customize your macros to a more balanced diet.

    Do this by going to My Home>>Goals>>Change Goals>>Custom. Save your changes.

    My macros are set to 45/30/25% carbs/protein/fat. Another popular split is 40/40/20. Choose whatever is best for you, but I strongly recommend increasing your protein from the default.

    Thanks! I didn't know that!
  • OneShortBri
    OneShortBri Posts: 19 Member
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    I am so sorry you had a terrible experience with your NP! No one should be treated poorly by someone that they are seeking help from. Some people in the medical profession are often quick to point out all of your evils, never mind the accomplishments that you have made. Even worse, when your doctor is telling you to lose weight, and stop smoking, and to exercise more when he/she is overweight and reeks of cigarette smoke.

    Definately find a provider that will take your seriously, and provide a positive environment for you! They are there to serve you, no matter what letters they have behind their name.
  • crubinetti
    crubinetti Posts: 53 Member
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    Completely awful, find a new doctor! The only thing I agree with is cutting back your exercise. The only reason I say this i because you were just posting recently about the excessive pain you're experiencing. Take a few rest days here and there and go a little easier. :flowerforyou:

    Ya, that was one of the reasons I was going to the doctor. And I have backed down from 60 min to 30ish min a day mostly depending on the activity level in my day. If I spend a lot of time, sitting in a day I might do 60. She was basically saying that until I get my weight down i shouldn't exercise and I am not really on board with that.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
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    She was basically saying that until I get my weight down i shouldn't exercise and I am not really on board with that.

    It's difficult for medical professionals when people completely discredit their advice.
    What kind of exercise are you doing? But it's true that most of weightloss happens in the kitchen.

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