I Did It! I hit my GOAL!!! Lots of pics!

I apologise for the length of this, it's quite a long story, but you will be rewarded with pictures at the end!
It's taken just over a year, but I made my Goal! I lost 112lb (UK 8 stone) and I guess you are reading this because you think I hold the answer or the secret to success? I don't! But what I do have is my experience over this last year which I am happy to share.
You might see some of yourself in how I used to be:
I am a confident, strong woman. I was never bullied at school, I was always bigger than my pals but in a curvy, boobilicious sort of way! I played in the school basketball team, the rounders team, and did athletics for the county. I was never made to eat up all my dinner, never laughed at or shouted at because of my size. I guess my confidence and persona didn't allow it. (I'm not saying I wasn't shouted at or laughed at, but I didn't notice and didn't really care anyway). I have never let my size get in the way of what I wanted to do. I managed to change jobs whenever I wished. I am not shy standing up in front of people and selling or lecturing to them. I like to be the centre of attention. I can hold a conversation with just about anyone. I chose clothes to fit my shape and was often complimented on how I looked. I figured I would wear what I wanted and didn’t worry “does my bum look big in this” because I knew my bum looked big in everything!
So, why couldn't I just lose weight because of my health, or for my husband and family, or to buy nice clothes, or to lift my self-esteem (it didn’t show, but underneath I wasn’t always confident or happy) or for a special event or party?
The back story:
I have great difficulty walking due to knee problems which have got worse over the last 30 years. Mainly due to a sports injury in my teens, but progressively getting worse due to eating and boozing too much, two pregnancies (C-sections), being inactive due to being so fat (yes I can use THAT word now) and being scared to try moving more because of the excruciating pain that shoots through my knee which is now bone on bone. I felt sluggish and slow, everything was a chore and hard to do. Walking was agony, my husband learned to park near the store entrance when we went shopping, because I found it very difficult and painful to walk more than a few yards to grab onto a shopping trolley to lean heavily on and hobble into the store. Going upstairs was nearly impossible without hanging onto the banister and hauling myself up one step at a time. Getting out of chairs was a marathon - shuffle to the front of the seat, brace myself, elevate, wait for the legs to straighten and the immediate pain to pass before staggering off. In January 2012 I found myself looking on the internet to find myself some sparkly covered crutches to help me get about (sparkly because I like twinkle, sparkle and glitter). I realised that soon I would be in a wheelchair and I certainly didn't want that if I could help it.
It was the New Year and as usual I resolved to sort myself out yet again. I had been watching programmes about weight loss, to try to get inspiration and find the magic cure to my overweight condition. One of the programmes was called Obese, A Year To Save My Life. Basically the programme followed severely overweight people for a year, showing their struggles and triumphs, but the thing I found intriguing was that the programme focussed on the help they were given by a Personal Trainer who taught them about nutrition, working hard in the gym and about exercise. It did inspire me, it helped me understand that I couldn't really work as hard in the gym as I wanted to for six days a week without knowing what I was doing. So on 3rd January I took on a Personal Trainer at my gym - his name is Matt - and I can honestly say he helped me save myself!
I knew I wanted to workout six days a week and set myself a target of 112lb by May 31st. My husband and I booked a holiday for the first week in June as an incentive for me (isn't he lovely?) and I worked out that it would take about 4lb per week to hit my goal - a bit ambitious but with early losses of large numbers I figured it would balance out in the end. I put a countdown on my computer at work and at home, to count the DAYS until my holiday - that really helped, because it was MONTHS away, it helped to see each and every day ticking down relentlessly and kept me on track, knowing that time was going to continue to pass whether I liked it or not, whether I was sticking to the plan or not! I also started logging my thoughts and feelings by emailing myself from work when I had a good or bad day - I thought that if I kept a record of my thoughts and feelings, if I did fail in my quest or was going through a difficult time, I would be able to look back and see what things were influencing me and work out if it was that situation or person or thought that made me fail. (If you feel inclined, you could read my August 2012 blog for the whole story of the first 148 days).
After 24 days in the gym every evening from 8pm until about 9.30pm I was actually starting to enjoy it and look forward to my next session. I learned to eat Carbs and Protein instead of calories, syns, points, etc etc. I learned to trust Matt when he asked me to try things in the gym such as stepups onto one of those steps they use in aerobics classes - as I mentioned, going upstairs was agony so I told him that I couldn't do stepups. He asked me to try. I tried. I did 10 - only on the lowest step, it was very painful but not so painful that I had to stop. I pushed through and did not want to let myself fail at this small task. It felt good (well not straight away, because my muscles and knee were screaming and complaining, but I felt good in my head about overcoming that small challenge). Doing that gave me confidence to try more and more, and to continue. I stopped doubting myself and telling myself I couldn't. Instead I started telling myself I could. And I did.
I have enough material in my head about this experience that I am thinking about writing a small book (with lots of pictures), but I don't want to take up any more of your time.
Suffice to say, I DID IT! I haven't quite finished yet, but from now on my target is not going to be weight driven, fitness and health are top of my agenda now. The scale is going AWAY!
People ask me what motivated me, and I remember about the sparkly crutches and not wanting to be crippled. Motivation can't be given, nobody else can find it for you, you have to find it from within. No amount of blackmailing yourself with a new dress or outfit, beating yourself up because you can't do it, crying because you just ate or drank something you shouldn't or hoping that someone else will give you the strength to do it. They won't.
You CAN do it. You just have to WANT to do it. Good luck.
And now the pics - the blue swimsuit one is the very first picture taken on 3rd Jan 2012, I am not ashamed of it, I am proud that I don't look like that anymore! The second pic was taken today (3rd Feb 2013).


I am at my heaviest here:


November 2012 - nearly there!