***More questions for anyone who is NOT a single parent or e
leavinglasvegas
Posts: 1,495
This is for a sociology project that I'm doing in regards to social stratification. ANYONE can answer these questions. PM the answers to me if you are not comfortable. Do not hold back or fear offending. I have heard it all. The purpose of this is to collect as much info as I can on the opinion of single parenting and everything that comes with it. Please be honest. Thank you!
I'm looking for diversity, honesty, and reality.
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
I'm looking for diversity, honesty, and reality.
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
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Replies
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1. 3, all male
2. traditional (if somewhat dysfunctional)
3. yes and no. Money/vouchers? No. Programs to help them gain experience, job placement, or training? Sure, all for it. Daycare? Yes. Housing? ..... difficult to answer but I'll say no to permanent, yes to temporary.
4. define more. More people who are abusing the system then aren't? I'd say that's probably 50/50 or somewhere therebouts.
5. I think there should be harsher enforcement, the laws are already quite harsh, they just aren't enforced because we don't have the money for law enforcement because we spend it all on social programs (sorry, but that's my belief!)
6. I believe that's true in some cases, not all, but some, not as much now as it was before welfare reform, but there are still those who will attempt to milk the system by having children.0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
Too many to count
I'd say 80% of them are female
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
I was raised by a single mother.
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
Yes.
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
I think too many people on welfare are lazy. There is a NEED for welfare, but it is being seriously abused.
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
Yes there should be, for deadbeat dads AND moms.
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
I want to hope not, but I believe there probably are.0 -
I know roughly 5 single parents all whom are mothers. I was raised by a single father until the age of 11 when he met my stepmom (who is wonderful by the way). I believe that if a single parent honestly cannot raise a child on there own and needs assistance then, yes, absolutely they deserve help; but, at the same time, if these deadbeat parents would own up to having a child and pay their child support, we probably wouldn't have this issue. This one may offend some but here goes. Where I am from it's very frustrating to see people on welfere and food stamps. The majority of them on food stamps and living in the projects drive mercedes and BMW's, but I can barely afford to feed my family of 5 on one income but yet, they say my husband earns too much to get food stamps WTH. I think there should be harsher laws on not only deadbeat dads, but deadbeat moms as well. I don't think it's the single parent's fault that the other won't pay. I don't think people have kids to get on welfare, I think people have more kids because welfare will pay for it but not birth control. Hope this helps you out!0
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This is for a sociology project that I'm doing in regards to social stratification. ANYONE can answer these questions. PM the answers to me if you are not comfortable. Do not hold back or fear offending. I have heard it all. The purpose of this is to collect as much info as I can on the opinion of single parenting and everything that comes with it. Please be honest. Thank you!
I'm looking for diversity, honesty, and reality.
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
1. 12 female 1 male
2. Traditional one mom and one dad
3. To a point. I think that the government should assist and subsidize their childcare so they can work and maybe subsidize their income if they do not make enough. But the single parent should have to go to work and make a living like everyone else.
4. I think the people who live on welfare need to be on a time limit. There is no reason that you cannot go out and get a job. I don't care about disabilities, you can still work, even if it's part time.
5. Depends on the situation. Some dads are not dead beats. However there should be harsher laws for the ones that are and also for the partying selfish moms.
6. I know some do and you should not be able to get more welfare if you get pregnant while on welfare. There should be strict laws on this.
These are my personal opinions and I am allowed my opinions. Please do not respond to my answers0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
- Only a few, mostly female (one male). I don't happen to know very many people with children.
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
- Raised by a divorced mother, saw my father and his family once a year, lived with my grandparents on and off.
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
- As long as there is forward progress made towards achieving independence, yes.
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
- I think there are more single parents than married who are on welfare, out of necessity. I think there are probably an equal number of people on welfare who use drugs as their are in the general population, although the financial struggles that go along with being very low income probably lead to substance abuse. Lazy? I think a large majority of the population is lazy, even if they aren't on welfare.
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
- Absolutely, although the enforcement of the laws is incredibly difficult and may equal or exceed the cost of public assistance.
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
- No, I don't. I think more children, however, may be common among welfare recipients because of a lack of education and an inability to afford medical birth control.0 -
Thank you guys for your answers and for being honest!
I'm a little overwhelmed with responses, lol! Between these threads and my inbox, I've got a pretty huge sample t sort through! Not to mention the emails I sent and my facebook posting. Shheeeesh! I've got alot of reading to do!
But keep the answers coming. I so appreciate this!0 -
1. One. She is female
2. I was raised by a Mom, Stepdad and Dad. They got along really really well.
3. For a limited amount of time. No more than 2 years
4. Yes, all of the above. The system is being abused, beyond any doubt. It is sickening. We have created generations of people who want nothing more than to get their sittin at home checks. I knew someone who threw herself a party because she finally qualified for lifelong disability. The disability? Obesity.
5. No I don't believe in court-ordered child support. If a mother decides she wants to divorce, and break her vows to her husband and God, then she should understand that by walking away from the man she is also walking away from his paycheck. If she doesn't want to pay for raising those kids, let the Dad have them. Or, she could just honor her vows and stay married. You know, till death do them part...I don't believe a parent should get to take the children away from their other parent and then get paid for it. On the other hand, if parents come to an amicable agreement between themselves regarding the financial aspects of raising a child, then they can and should adhere to what they agreed to. But I do not want the courts involved, nor law enforcement.
6. Of course they do. More kids = a bigger check. Planned parenthood will give out pills/condoms for free, so "lack of birth control" is BS.0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female? Personally, none. All of them have at least some kind of help from the other parent. I'm sure I'm acquainted with many, but I'm answering in reference to my friends and family.
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.) My mom was essentially a single parent though she stayed married to my debilitatingly alcoholic father until I was 13. I guess that's traditional.
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence? temporarily under certain extreme circumstances, sure
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy? I can't answer this one because those choices aren't mutually exclusive. For example, there are plenty of lazy single parents on drugs who receive welfare, which category should I put those folks in? There are certainly a LOT of people on welfare on drugs but I would never venture a guess as to what percentage. I'm sure the majority of welfare recipients are single parents but a certain percentage of those single parents are also on drugs and/or lazy.
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault? I think deadbeat parents of any gender suck. But I'm honestly not sure legislation would be the right thing to do about them. Can't people just not suck without there having to be a law against sucking?
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare? I'm sure some people don't take the necessary precautions to NOT have kids because of the existance of welfare. Welfare kind of allows people to be a little less responsible/accountable for their actions and choices in that way. I'm apalled at the thought of someone intentionally having a child just to get a salary increase but knowing people, I'd say it's likely that has been someone's great plan. Certainly not the majority though.0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? 2 off the top of my head Are they male or female? female
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.) non traditional i think. my biological dad died when i was seven months old. my mom was a single parent until she sated dating the man i call my dad, at around age 5. and together they raised me. they've been together for almost 16 years now, but are not married.
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence? i think it needs to be a case by case basis, people who tried everything to make the relationship work but it didn't, do. and people who just went out and got knocked up, don't.
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy? i think drugs is a big one, and a lot of people who just have way too many kids for their income. i really don't care how many kids you have, but if you can't support more than two kids, stop. don't keep having more. if you can support eight kids, go you. i think those are the two biggies, single parents and lazy's don't seem to be as big of an issue.
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault? i think child support should be more strictly enforced to make sure that it is being paid. but other than that, i wouldn't make many other changes.
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare? no.0 -
1. One. She is female
2. I was raised by a Mom, Stepdad and Dad. They got along really really well.
3. For a limited amount of time. No more than 2 years
4. Yes, all of the above. The system is being abused, beyond any doubt. It is sickening. We have created generations of people who want nothing more than to get their sittin at home checks. I knew someone who threw herself a party because she finally qualified for lifelong disability. The disability? Obesity.
5. No I don't believe in court-ordered child support. If a mother decides she wants to divorce, and break her vows to her husband and God, then she should understand that by walking away from the man she is also walking away from his paycheck. If she doesn't want to pay for raising those kids, let the Dad have them. Or, she could just honor her vows and stay married. You know, till death do them part...I don't believe a parent should get to take the children away from their other parent and then get paid for it. On the other hand, if parents come to an amicable agreement between themselves regarding the financial aspects of raising a child, then they can and should adhere to what they agreed to. But I do not want the courts involved, nor law enforcement.
6. Of course they do. More kids = a bigger check. Planned parenthood will give out pills/condoms for free, so "lack of birth control" is BS.
What if it's the Dad that leaves or cheats or whatever the case may be? It's not always the mom's fault.0 -
Hey Lady!
I will def participate :happy: I have to do stuff like this for classes too haha
1. I know 2 females that are raising children alone.
2. I was raised by a traditional parenting system (parents are still together).
3. No. I don't not.
4. I think people should only be allowed on welfare for a certain amount of time (meaning...while they are in the process of finding a job...ACTIVELY finding a job). I'm not a fan of people that abuse welfare and just sit around on their butts all day. There's absolutely no reason someone can't get a job, no matter what situation they are in. I think it all comes down to being lazy.
5. It takes two to tango, so if either mother or father are not ready for the outcome of tango-ing then they shouldn't do it lol
I think there are a lot of dead beat dads out there who need to take responsibility for the children they bring into this world. If they don't want to deal with their children, they shouldn't be sleeping around. I know accidents happen, but still, if they are willing to take that risk, then they need to be responsible for what happens. Women get themselves into these situations just as easily as men do. I believe we need to push birth control more. Women need to take control and responsibility, as well as men. Women need to use birth control if they plan on being sexually active. If they don't believe in birth control, then they need to be smart about the situations they get themselves into.
6. Yes, some people do that. I think it's ridiculous.0 -
I'm looking for diversity, honesty, and reality.
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
4 females
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
Traditional (1 mom and 1 dad)
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
Yes
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
I believe more people who have drug dependency issues are on welfare.
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
There should be Harsher laws for the deadbeat parent, whether it be the mom or dad.
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
I believe some do.0 -
im sixteen and live at home with my parents. my parents do foster care- so much of answers are based on that and are deffinately swayed because of the group of people whose children we care for.
1. how many single parents do i know? ALOT, all of them female
2. i am being raised in a semi traditional (a mom and a dad) but they do foster care so its a bit different.
3/4.i know to types of single parents..and the ones that deserve help dont get it ...the other set (the ones whose children my family takes care of) dont deserve it, yet they get so much more help. the4 way the system works is crazy! my friend who works two hard jobs, would have to give give up her jobs to gety any help,she just needed alittle help with groceries,but they said she didnt qualify beacuse she has a job, they said if she quit they could help her. (she kept her jobs and supports her children without help) now on the other end of the spectrum-we have the single "moms" whose children we take care of-that dont even try to get a job,are on drug, and get tons of help but still but do nothing but waste our resources.
5. depends, the responsible single parents i know were married and their husbands left them- they SHOULD have to pay child support (although in many cases dont). they kids we get, the mom doesnt even know who the father is for sure, she may have 7 kids all from differnt dads, in that case- i dont really think its the responsiblity of the dad.
6. i know for a FACT thet aleast one person does, im sure there are more.0 -
I am a CPS (Child Protective Services SW in NC)
I work with countless #'s of families each day who raise their kids as "single parents." Some are ofton by choice, some because the absent parent is deceased, incarcerated, or for other reasons.
I was raised in a traditional family- mom, dad, and a sister.
I STRONGLY agree that a parent should receive puplic assistance if they want to gain independence. I work with alot of domestic violence cases-and in their circumstances-YES. Also, I ofton work with families that reside with another family. They sometimes have crisis situations because they need their privacy and own family time.
There is a combo of families that are on welfare due to drugs (especially prescription medication issues in our county right now), being single, and yes truly some are just lazy. However, the economy is truly lagginng right now and there are people who just have no other way to turn than to apply for welfare. Some families stressors such as $$ issues cause us (CPS) to become involve. Stress can lead to abuse and neglect. Mental Health services are also changing-and that is a whole nother day..
I do think that deadbeat dads should be held accountable for their actions as parents. Our DSS is actually working very hard in the courtrooms each week with this, but until tougher laws are in effect...DSS can only do so much. Plus, sometimes mom's do not even want to see $$ from the deadbeat dads (ughh), and some do not even know who the biological father is.
I imagine that there probably are people who have kids just to receive welfare, but some are also uneducated, already are living in poverty, or just do not know how to say "no." Other factors such as drugs and alcohol could play into this as well. But some families JUST need us to help get them back on their feet. There is no better feeling than going home at night and reflecting on the services that you put in place for a needy family.
Bottom line: Families DO need DSS. Familes do need us to help make sure the children are taken care of and provided for. Some families just need a little help getting on their feet.
Let me know if you have any questions or would like to know how CPS policy works in NC. It varies from state to state. I will more than gladly assist! Good Luck on your paper:)0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
-none. My brother in law SORT OF qualifies as a single parent, however he leaves with with their mother or their
grandmother (my mother in law) 90% of the time.
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
-traditional, mom and dad
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
-Yes I do, what I do not agree with is the abuse of public assistance. My brother-in-law is 26, with 2 sons (ages 5 1/2
and 4 years old) who hasn't worked in 5 years. He has an EBT card, monthly stipend (which I believe is welfare... not
really sure how it works) and lives in low-income housing. He sells drugs to pay for things. He puts ZERO effort into
finding a job. HOWEVER, my mother in law left an extremely abusive situation at a young age with 2 boys (my husband
and his brother) under the age of 5 and without public assistance she wouldn't have been able to leave the situation.
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
-I do believe there are people out there that are using it productively and legitimately need it. In the town I live in and the
people I know on public assistance are on drugs. Unfortunately, this town has a huge meth problem. I think the
majority of people (my town excluded) that are on welfare are people who need it and are not abusing it. I don't think
people using public assistance are lazy (unless of course they are the aforementioned drug addicts). There is no way I
think I could raise a child on my own income, and I make really good money.
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
-I do think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads. It seems unfair that the mother should have to everything
for the child because the dad skipped out. I think the opposite should be true also, same laws should apply to deadbeat
moms. My husband is 25 years old and since his mom left his dad when he was just a few months old, his mother has
seen 2 child support payments, $25 each, both were paid about 5 years ago. Not to mention the emotional damage my
husband has from not having a dad.
in the picture his whole life.
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
-I don't really know, but its terrible if they did.0 -
1. One. She is female
2. I was raised by a Mom, Stepdad and Dad. They got along really really well.
3. For a limited amount of time. No more than 2 years
4. Yes, all of the above. The system is being abused, beyond any doubt. It is sickening. We have created generations of people who want nothing more than to get their sittin at home checks. I knew someone who threw herself a party because she finally qualified for lifelong disability. The disability? Obesity.
5. No I don't believe in court-ordered child support. If a mother decides she wants to divorce, and break her vows to her husband and God, then she should understand that by walking away from the man she is also walking away from his paycheck. If she doesn't want to pay for raising those kids, let the Dad have them. Or, she could just honor her vows and stay married. You know, till death do them part...I don't believe a parent should get to take the children away from their other parent and then get paid for it. On the other hand, if parents come to an amicable agreement between themselves regarding the financial aspects of raising a child, then they can and should adhere to what they agreed to. But I do not want the courts involved, nor law enforcement.
6. Of course they do. More kids = a bigger check. Planned parenthood will give out pills/condoms for free, so "lack of birth control" is BS.
What if it's the Dad that leaves or cheats or whatever the case may be? It's not always the mom's fault.
I feel the same regardless of gender. People do not take marriage or the creation of children seriously at all. If they took it more seriously, I believe most of the problems discussed here would be eliminated.0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
None
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
Traditional
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
Maybe..depends on the situation and only for a limited amount of time
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
probably just lazy...people like to milk the system in this country
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
I think it takes 2 to tango and dad's should def. be held accountable and pay support for their children....however if a woman decides to have a baby with a dead beat with no education or job..what do they expect....ultimately the child should never suffer or be w/ out since he/she didn't ask to be born
Bottom line I don't think people in general (men and women) in this country take having a child seriously enough or prepare enough....they think 'it will all work out' and 'there is no perfect time' that is a load of bull
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
No..I would HOPE not0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
- 2, both female.
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
- traditional home - parents will be married 29 years this year!!
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
- the only time i believe they should get public assistance is if the not-in-the-picture parent isn't contributing anything.
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
- YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
- Absolutely. Girls don't get pregnant on their own.......
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
- No, but I believe that people take advantage of welfare when they do have kids (ie, saying the benefits are for the children and they're using them themselves).0 -
Thank you all for your responses! I just finished the powerpoint. I am shocked at the number of responses I got...between here, email, and facebook...my eyes hurt from sitting here all day! I have basically summed up all that was said to incorporate in my speech. I used a few answers per a few questions in the slide show.
Kind of glad I lost my work and had to redo this whole thing. It was boring before, now Its pretty darn interesting. Thanks!0 -
I'm looking for diversity, honesty, and reality.
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Hmmmm.....2 Girls...and 1 guy
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? Just my mom until I was 10, than my stepdad.
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence? Yes.As long as they are NOT abusing the system.
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy? Depends on their situation. But I know ALOT of people that are abusing the system and it really pisses me off....They are plain lazy and they act like the world owes them something....
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault? I dont know. I have never been put in that position.
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare? Some probably.0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
A few, but tbh no one I know particularly well. One of my best friends has a kid with his ex, but the girl is a raging ***** and won't let him see his boy because he won't give her extra money on top of the child support he pays (and she's admitted before the money is for her to spend, not for her to spend on the kid). Most of my friends are guys, and I know a few who've been prevented from seeing their kids for whatever reason - one because he moved on after him and the mum split up, so she won't let him see his kids because he's getting married to someone else. One of my friends, his ex partner had a daughter from a previous relationship. I don't know any balanced single parents from my generation, though my partner's mum raised him and his sisters on her own and she did it very well. A good friend of mine's mum raised her and her sister on her own as well and she did a cracking job, but I can't think of anyone my age who has.
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
I was raised by both parents, who are still together.
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
In some specific cases (domestic abuse comes to mind) then yes, but in general no. My partner's ex has a preteen who she with ehr ex husband, and she basically left him and moved to the other side of the country because she fancied a change. I don't think people should be handed things on a plate basically just because they have children - apologies if that sounds harsh, but if you are employed (at least in the UK, not sure what it's like elsewhere) and not claiming dole from the state (or other benefits), and you DON'T have a child...you wouldn't get a cent. People should work for what they want, it's too easy to get given "free" money from the state, and I don't see why people with children should get special treatment. My friend's mum (the one who raised 2 kids on her own) is a strong and independant woman, she's got her own business and she's comfortable enough to have 3 homes - and she has always said that she started off with nothing when she had my friend (she's the older of the two), but the "getting there" is what's made her who she is today. If you get things handed to you without having to work hard for them, you don't appreciate it and you take it for granted.
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
Where I'm from I think it's a variety of different reasons - most of my friends have been on the dole at some point after leaving uni, combination of there not being enough jobs, them being lazy, or them feeling a little "above" entry level jobs (but not qualified anough for the jobs they wanted). Tbh, I've got a friend who's a consipracy theorist, and he's on the dole because he refuses to pay nat insurance. Mostly I'd say lazy though.
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
I'm not sure what you mean here - if it's a case of child support, then possibly. But a lot of men who are classed as "deadbeat" may not have money and can't afford to pay for other reasons - unemployment for example. As for contact with his children - would you really want some guy to be a father to your kids who doesn't want to be? Surely that vibe will rub off on your kids - not nice at all! And I know of a few guys whose exes have asked for (and got) child support - but then spent none of the money on the child!
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
Most definitely, yes. Not everybody of course, but you can kind of tell who's had kids just so they could get free money.0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
One, Female
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
Traditional
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
No
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
Yes
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
I think both parents should be equally responsible.
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
Yes0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female? 2 female, I probably know a lot more but just can't think of them off hand.
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? Traditional
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence? It depends one of the single mothers I know chose to be a single mother by going to a sperm bank she should not receive public assistance since it was her choice to have the baby, while the other one I know took maternity leave and just never went back to work so was unemployed until her unemployement ran out and she was doing drugs in situations like this I think it would be better for a new born that could be adopted to be taken out of the home early.
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy? I think alot of people right now are on welfare since they have lost their jobs from the economy especially where I live since most of them worked in the banking industry, I do think there are people that will abuse the situation what ever way they can but the majority of people are using it to get by.
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault? Deadbeat dads/moms are the scum of the earth. If you can't afford the child support any more then go back to the courts and get it changed don't just not pay. There is no excuse.
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare? A small minority yes but the majority of people I think have true reasons for needing the welfare.0 -
1. One. She is female
2. I was raised by a Mom, Stepdad and Dad. They got along really really well.
3. For a limited amount of time. No more than 2 years
4. Yes, all of the above. The system is being abused, beyond any doubt. It is sickening. We have created generations of people who want nothing more than to get their sittin at home checks. I knew someone who threw herself a party because she finally qualified for lifelong disability. The disability? Obesity.
5. No I don't believe in court-ordered child support. If a mother decides she wants to divorce, and break her vows to her husband and God, then she should understand that by walking away from the man she is also walking away from his paycheck. If she doesn't want to pay for raising those kids, let the Dad have them. Or, she could just honor her vows and stay married. You know, till death do them part...I don't believe a parent should get to take the children away from their other parent and then get paid for it. On the other hand, if parents come to an amicable agreement between themselves regarding the financial aspects of raising a child, then they can and should adhere to what they agreed to. But I do not want the courts involved, nor law enforcement.
6. Of course they do. More kids = a bigger check. Planned parenthood will give out pills/condoms for free, so "lack of birth control" is BS.
What if it's the Dad that leaves or cheats or whatever the case may be? It's not always the mom's fault.
I feel the same regardless of gender. People do not take marriage or the creation of children seriously at all. If they took it more seriously, I believe most of the problems discussed here would be eliminated.
I couldn't agree more!0 -
1. One. She is female
2. I was raised by a Mom, Stepdad and Dad. They got along really really well.
3. For a limited amount of time. No more than 2 years
4. Yes, all of the above. The system is being abused, beyond any doubt. It is sickening. We have created generations of people who want nothing more than to get their sittin at home checks. I knew someone who threw herself a party because she finally qualified for lifelong disability. The disability? Obesity.
5. No I don't believe in court-ordered child support. If a mother decides she wants to divorce, and break her vows to her husband and God, then she should understand that by walking away from the man she is also walking away from his paycheck. If she doesn't want to pay for raising those kids, let the Dad have them. Or, she could just honor her vows and stay married. You know, till death do them part...I don't believe a parent should get to take the children away from their other parent and then get paid for it. On the other hand, if parents come to an amicable agreement between themselves regarding the financial aspects of raising a child, then they can and should adhere to what they agreed to. But I do not want the courts involved, nor law enforcement.
6. Of course they do. More kids = a bigger check. Planned parenthood will give out pills/condoms for free, so "lack of birth control" is BS.
I would just like to put in my opinion here.....some mothers have to walk away from the man before they are beaten to death. I was married for 5 years to my son's father who beat me on a daily basis, infront of my children and then threatened to kill me when i tried to leave many times before. He is a raging alcoholic he parked my 3 children in a bar parking lot at 11pm on a Monday night in December of 2008 and didn't come out until my oldest son accidenlty set off the alarm at 1:30am. My 3 year old so now has to go to a psychotherapist because his father was sitting him in a back room and allowing his to watch Michael Myers for hours and hours on visitation while he drank with his friends in the living room. My son thinks its okay now for people to get killed and that Michael Myers is his friend.
Not sure about your background, but that is mine. I do think that child support should be paid by the other parent because if you helf create them, you can help pay for them. Its not my fault my kids dad decided to be a ****.0 -
1. 3 all female
2. single mother
3. yes
4. Single parents.
5. yes. It is not the mother's fault or problem but I don't thinking putting them in jail and preventing them form working to pay the back support is the solution. Maybe work release with jail on the weekends?
6. yes. I grew up in public housing and saw a lot of this going on. When the benefits were about to stop and they would have to go to work, they would have another baby.0 -
I know roughly 5 single parents all whom are mothers. I was raised by a single father until the age of 11 when he met my stepmom (who is wonderful by the way). I believe that if a single parent honestly cannot raise a child on there own and needs assistance then, yes, absolutely they deserve help; but, at the same time, if these deadbeat parents would own up to having a child and pay their child support, we probably wouldn't have this issue. This one may offend some but here goes. Where I am from it's very frustrating to see people on welfere and food stamps. The majority of them on food stamps and living in the projects drive mercedes and BMW's, but I can barely afford to feed my family of 5 on one income but yet, they say my husband earns too much to get food stamps WTH. I think there should be harsher laws on not only deadbeat dads, but deadbeat moms as well. I don't think it's the single parent's fault that the other won't pay. I don't think people have kids to get on welfare, I think people have more kids because welfare will pay for it but not birth control. Hope this helps you out!
I don't think the intention of this post was to debate social issues but I have to make a comment. I grew up in public housing and the vast majority of people were single mothers with NO car. The very few people who did have cars were old beaters. There was not one person in the entire complex with a Mercedes, BMW or anything close to it. I know there are exeptions like drug dealers living in projects with fancy cars but to say that the MAJORITY of the people on food stamps and in the projects drive Mercedes and BMW's is ridiculous. Many people do have kids to get on and stay welfare. I have seen it.0 -
1. How many people do you know that are raising a child(ren) alone? Are they male or female?
12 - 8 are females and 4 are males
2. Were you raised by a traditional parenting system or non-traditional? (Mom and dad, 2 dads, 2 moms, adopted, aunts, uncles, foster homes, institution, etc.)
i was raised by a traditional parenting system - one mom and one dad.
3. Do you think that single parents should be able to recieve public assistance if they need to to get their own independence?
I do. I was a single mom for the first 5 years of my sons life. I was lucky enough to be able to live with my parents until I was financially stable enough to support us both fully. If not - it would have been nice to have known that I had help to fall back on. As it was, the only "assistance" that I took was medical assistance for my son - more on that in the answer to question #5.
4. Do you think that there are more people on welfare who are on drugs, single parents, or just plain lazy?
I'm honestly not sure what I think. I'm sure that there are some of all of them... but I can't honestly say that I've given a lot of thought to who is on welfare and why.
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
I think that people need to take responsibility for their actions. If you have a child, it's your job to put that child first and make sure that he/she is taken care of. In the same respect, I left the man that I was engaged to because he was abusive. It was only after I had made the break that I found out that I was pregnant. I made the choice not to tell him about the baby... I made the choice to protect not only myself, but my child. When I looked into assistance (child care, housing, etc.) I was told that I would have to release the name of the father to allow them to go after him for child support. That was not going to happen. I couldn't let it happen. So I lived with my parents, worked every temp job that I could to gain experience and learned to make my dollars stretch, It was not optimal and it was not easy... but it worked. I don't think that releasing the father's name should be a knock out factor for asisstance.... there should have been a way around that requirement.
6. Do you believe that people have kids just to get welfare?
Maybe... but I don't think that there are as many as people want to believe. I honestly believe that most people are trying to do the best that they can and sometimes people find themselves in situations that they can't get out of.0 -
5. Do you think there should be harsher laws for deadbeat dads? Or do you think its the mothers problem/fault?
I think that people need to take responsibility for their actions. If you have a child, it's your job to put that child first and make sure that he/she is taken care of. In the same respect, I left the man that I was engaged to because he was abusive. It was only after I had made the break that I found out that I was pregnant. I made the choice not to tell him about the baby... I made the choice to protect not only myself, but my child. When I looked into assistance (child care, housing, etc.) I was told that I would have to release the name of the father to allow them to go after him for child support. That was not going to happen. I couldn't let it happen. So I lived with my parents, worked every temp job that I could to gain experience and learned to make my dollars stretch, It was not optimal and it was not easy... but it worked. I don't think that releasing the father's name should be a knock out factor for asisstance.... there should have been a way around that requirement.
They will allow you to sign a waiver stating that the involvement of this man may be dangerous to yours or your childs well-being. They can persist with an order for child support while keeping your information private from him and even put PPOs in place for your protection. I'm sad to see that so many women are not given the proper information when it comes to things like this. I had a similar situation. I know that it is hard to face so many people and have to explain yourself time and time again. Not everybody is sympathetic, and some are just plain mean. Thankfully, my case was always kept private. They just found him a few weeks ago and he has no parental rights whatsoever. Ten years was a long time to wait for that phone call, but it was worth it.
The reason for it them wanting his information up front is because many women claim to not know the fathers information, collect aid, and daddy pays her on the side to keep his name out of it. I know several women who have done this. When a woman applies for aid, they need to establish why she can't provide for herself. If the father is not involved, they will do everything to get him to pay. From establishing paternity, legal aid, and enforcing the order of child support. That eventually reduces the cost on the state. They will make sure that father pays for whatever the state has given that mother in aid. Medical bills, food stamps, cash assistance, gas money..... But so many women protect the father. So many women don't see that they wouldn't even need aid if they just cooperated and stopped protecting him.
I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. Its great that you had family to rely on. And good for you for achieving independence! I like stories like that, they are empowering to other women who may feel like it is impossible.0 -
Thanks - it's not so much a concern anymore... but 12 1/2 years ago it was a nightmare. When I called they asked if I had ever called the police and when I told them no - they said that they would have a hard time proving that there was abuse. For me... it was not worth the risk of putting it out there.
I'm married now to a wonderful man who also "married" my son (they took vows to one another as well). My only issue now is that he would like to adopt my son - but from what we've learned, the "donor" would need to sign off his paternal rights.... like he should have any to begin with?0
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