I dont fit in

I am exactly the same way! First, realize that this kind of personality is ok. I was so relieved the first time someone actually told me introversion was an actual personality trait, and that I didn't have to be outgoing, verbose, or super social to actually "be myself." I would suggest reading "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain and looking for online articles that address adapting to social situations. When I was in college, I started treating conversations with people as "practice" it helped a little. That way, when I had a totally awkward encounter, it was easier to brush off and tell myself I would do better next time, i just needed more practice.

I also found a career that does not involve a lot of interacting with people. I prefer staying home to going out, my idea of a great night is reading a good book and just being alone. If that is what you need, it is perfectly normal, and you don't have to drink or party or be around a lot of people to be happy. Plus, you'll do way better in college!

I met my boyfriend online, so I was able to get to know him slowly and comfortably over a longer period of time before we met up in real life.

Just because you feel like you don't fit in, doesn't mean there aren't people just like you out there. They are probably just home reading a good book and doing their homework.

I have social anxiety, too - it's hard for me to make connections with new people, but I find that if I put myself out there every once in a while, it pays off. Easier said than done, but it's worth the effort in most cases. I know exactly what you mean when you say you feel drained after social situations, maybe try to do things in places you are most comfortable. I know it's not easy, but you do have something to offer. Hang in there.

my husband and i are the same way. its a miracle we found each other. this is what worked for me, you have to learn to fake it. fake smile, fake being interested. ask questions about them. keep the conversation about them or topical topics. the more you listen, the more people like you. and you dont have to do this often. i only go out for family functions. every now and then we go out with my husbands very good friends he grew up with.

its ok to be a homebody. its ok to be awkward. be ok with yourself.

I can completely sympathize with you. I have extreme anxiety paired with OCD. Even my very best friend who I have known for over 10 years still gets the repercussions of my anxiety. I feel so out of it and socially awkward. I often have no idea what to say and find myself repeating things.

I wish I knew the answers to give both yourself and I. Stay brave my friend.

You know what, everyone feels like you do at times, just continue on and your confidence will grow.

Same here, I don't like crowds, I keep my opinions to myself unless asked directly. I don't really go anywhere other than home and work. I have very few friends (just my wife, who is my BFF). Some of this me, I don't really interact on the forums I belong to, just a comment here and there. I just have one friend on here (MFP) and there is very little interaction between us. I've been here since August I think. Even on FB, my friends are the ones that I play the stupid games with, no actual communication. It does get discouraging from time to time but I have come to accept it.

It's also helped me to have some good go-to conversations for random social situations. On Mondays, ask people how their weekend went, on Fridays ask if they have any fun plans for the weekend. Whenever people ask me how I'm doing, I reply and talk about the weather. Such as "Good, loving the sun!" or "Good, ready for the rain to stop." It comes off better than saying "Fine" and avoiding eye contact... which is what I really want to do.

You sound EXACTLY like me..... But i'm not in college yet... I often feel that not drinking and everything makes everything worse... I wish i could just be happy, loud, and talkative like everyone else... And i wish my face didnt turn red every time i talked to someone!

I have social anxiety as well. I was seeing a therapist for a while and she has helped me quite a bit. It takes me FOREVER to become comfortable around people. I am fully comfortable around four people: my boyfriend, my sister, my mom, my dad. I don't have many "friends". The people that I'd consider friends are people who I see a couple times a month at parties. I do go out to parties a lot but I don't talk to many people there. I just go there for the music and to dance. I dislike it when people try to talk to me there, except a couple of my party friends. I have been at my work for over a year and a half. About a year into my job was when I finally got relatively comfortable talking to my coworkers. So frustrating!! I still suck at small talk ... to basically anyone except those four people.

My therapist had me do a "thought record" where I would go through what made me scared and what was the "worst possible situation". Usually it was being embarrassed and then I realized that no one would even care if I embarrassed myself. I can't think of a certain situation. But try and get down to that root cause. You're scared you'll make a fool of yourself? Well really, who is going to care? It's not like you'll be made fun of (for the most part, adults don't really "make fun" of others - I know I was scared of this as a kid but it isn't an issue so much anymore).

I'll see if I can respond more tomorrow or something

You know what, I'm the same way. But its strange because as I got older, I didn't want the other person thinking I am a boring person or that my anxiety was showing. Instead I began talking more to make it less awkward. This ended up working. I still feel major anxiety on the inside, but on the outside i'm smiling, laughing, and having a random conversation. Also a few years back I started working for a bank as a teller. Part of my job consists of developing relationships with my customers. Its been I think 3 years and even though I may be absolutely terrified of the person im serving, im still calm, collected and will have something to say to keep it not awkward. Just force yourself and be yourself!

this exactly. social anxiety can slowly be overcome. I used to be so much worse than I am now.

Highly recommend this great book - Quiet: THe Power of Introverts by Susan Cain.

My absolute favorite book last summer.

WEll worth it read for ANYONE!

This.

Also EMBRACE who you are. You don't have to be like anyone else. Be yourself. Embrace who your are and always look at yourself in a good light. You are unique, why in the hell would you want to be like anyone else? Did I also mention to be yourself?

You aren't alone, if that's any consolation. At 43, I'm pretty sure I'll always struggle with it, but have learned ways to mask it. Most would not believe I do struggle. I started taking Improv to help with being able to think fast, and take on more gregarious characters, and treat work situations as "roles" - kind of a "fake it till you make it" thing. I still get very anxious about social situations, and tend to back out more than I'd like to admit. My coping mechanism for those is to find someone who's very comfortable in those situations and use them as my buffer to get into and out of conversations, etc.

Good luck - don't give up. Don't be someone else, but just find people who will appreciate your quiet side too.

I swear I didn't read this before I typed my answer lol, its almost the same thing

bump i'm the same as you but older i feel as if life just passes by me now no friends i don't do anything really if i'm talking to older people its easy but people my age or younger no way. i get so tongue tyied that gets me fustrated. my friends on here see the real me while the rest of the world gets the fake me shy not able to be myself alot of its self confidence which i have none. so your diffently not allown. ps i maybe on the out i don't like reading i go to sleep to fast

Well looks like I am also part of the introvert club. My social anxiety has only increased over the years and it was directly proportional to my weight. I am so tired of being afraid to make eye contact and people thinking I am weird (i'm a really cool girl i promise i just need time to be able to show you) I have always been this way however in college i was definitely able to fake it much better than i can now. I am an adult and it is SO hard to meet people especially when you don't know how to talk to them. I just want the old me back where people actually enjoyed my company. Thank you for posting hope you are beginning to realize you are not alone!

Same here. I met my husband online because that is the only way I can talk openly and express myself. I am DESPERATE for friends but I can't stand socializing. Especially people I look up to, or that I am intimidated by. It's the worst and I must seem so rude to them. The long awkward silences, pretending I didn't hear people, no eye contact, it's horrible. I've always been like this. On a side note, there does seem to be certain kind of people that I'm not THAT scared to talk to. Like people I consider more in my league, older people, or other introverts. I hate this, but learning to live with it. I will definately check out the book!