Binge Eating... Do you Own up?

I've always had a tendency to binge eat, but it's been such a part of my life for the last six years that the binges have been virtually end to end, and I'm amazed that I haven't binged once yet since starting with MFP.

My food issues go back decades, literally, but I gave it some real thought over Christmas and did manage to get a handle on what's prompted me to stack on most of my excess weight and what I've been doing to encourage it. Six years back, I was a single parent and was so broke that there was one time when me and the kids spent two weeks living on not much more than slowly rotting peaches and the half a dozen ready meals that I'd had stashed away in the freezer for emergencies. I'll never forget how the baby cried because all I had to give her was a pre-packed chili that was too spicy for her, and how soul-destroyingly bad I felt about it. This is not intended to be a sob story, but to shed some light on what happened next.

Not long after that, I got with my husband and we ended up living close to a huge 24/7 hypermarket on the edge of town. At a certain time twice a day, morning and evening, they mark the the perishable food down in price, often quite substantially. Fruit, vegetables, sometimes the meat and fish, creamy dairy puddings etc and cakes and buns. Especially cakes and buns. Sigh. Finances had improved, and I began to pride myself on just how much food I could get for our money by being in the right place at the right time. There were always pasta salads in the fridge (drowning in highly calorific dressings) and sugary chilled desserts, and a big pile of cakes and pastries on the back of the counter that never seemed to go down - all boasting vibrant stickers which told of how cheap they were.

And of how close they were to the 'eat by' date too, which was where it was all going horribly wrong. There's actually only so much that a family with normal appetites can eat, and I hate waste. The only thing I hate more than food getting wasted is listening to my husband banging on about how much HE hates food getting wasted. Keen to prove to him, that my 'bargains' weren't getting wasted, I'd spend all my time eating them myself - but having to pretend that everybody else was eating them too. I became an expert at taking a dessert out of the fridge and sticking two in my pockets while nobody was looking, or carrying a doughnut through the lounge in a really deep bowl so no-one would notice that there were another couple stashed underneath it (I always eat upstairs away from the family - I've had a problem with eating in front of people all my adult life, and they're used to it).

A lot of the time I didn't even want the stuff, but I was so determined to get my bargains that sometimes I'd even stash a few cakes in my handbag before I got home so that my husband wouldn't see them and complain about how we couldn't possibly eat everything I was buying. And then I'd feel obliged to eat them in secret before they went stale whether I wanted them or not. You'd have thought it would have taken me a lot less than six years to cotton on that this wasn't normal behaviour, but no. As long as food was coming into the house, I didn't care. I didn't tell anyone, much less my husband. It's only recently that I've realised that a lot of it was down to an unacknowledged dread of being left to feed the kids rotten peaches again.

Understanding why has made a huge difference. I let the pile of cakes on the counter dwindle to nothing in January, and haven't bought any more. It says a lot that not only has nobody complained, nobody has even noticed. I still find it hard to resist a 'reduced' sticker, but I'm a lot more careful about what I give into now and give into a lot less. This morning's haul amounted to four boxes of end-of-line energy bars with a very long date on them, a low calorie betroot salad and the reduced price stewing steak that we're having for tea. I can't call myself a reformed character though, because even though I stay within my calorie allowance most days I find it really difficult to take food from the kitchen without hiding what I'm doing.

I doubt I've knocked the bingeing on the head entirely, but I'm definitely trying to make better choices now. Thanks to the OP for asking, and sorry you almost got a novel back in response. I meant it when I said I'd never told anyone and I know I never will, but I think that getting it out there somewhere is one more step towards getting it gone

I haven't "binge eaten" in a very long time. At least not how I would define it. I exceeded my calorie intake this weekend by several hundred calories on Friday and Saturday, but it was a planned event that I allowed myself.

When I was having a particularly bad day, I would leave the office early and eat fast food in my car in a parking lot somewhere, dispose of the food bags and go back to work. Then I would pretend it didn't happen and go to lunch with my co-workers and eat whatever we decided as a group to eat. When I got back to the office, I would get in the elevator, find a different floor from my office, and I would go purge. After all that, I would find someone to lie to about the whole event -- tell them that I was skipping dinner or that I had skipped breakfast. Then I would go home and tell whoever would listen that I had skipped lunch and was starved for a big dinner out.

The lying was almost as important as the eating. It used to be a serious problem for me and often ended with me trying to purge, with panic attacks, anger, grief, and more stress. Then I would cycle back into taking diet pills and starving myself. It took me years to overcome this.

I have always been a binge eater but last night was the first time since December 2012 I had a very stressful day didnt eat anything because I was so stressed then last thing I ate a whole pack of weight watchers chocolate biscuits. It obviously didnt take me over my limits as I hadnt eaten but I felt so bad that I had let myself down.

binging is in the eye of the beholder....its all very personal. When i am emotionally and i cram food down my throat, regardless of calorie count, its a binge to me. 2 candybars for breakfast, half a banana cream pie at midnight. both binges for me.

Everyone knows I binge eat. My coworkers see it, my family sees it, and at the very least, I talk about it with my friends. I think that it isn't treated as shamefully for thinner people as it is for overweight people. Please note that I don't think it's a shameful thing for anyone; it just happens and it sucks and it makes you feel bad.
But with thin people, others don't take it as seriously. "Oh, so what if you ate 7 doughnuts in a sitting? You're skinny." Whereas if I was overweight, it seems likely people would be more critical: "You ate 7 doughnuts in one sitting? You need to stop that. No wonder you're overweight." They're dismissive when the person is thin even though that person is struggling, and they're critical when someone is overweight and struggling.

I have binge eaten since I was in my teens. I used to spend a lot of money on excess food even when I lived at home with my parents. I used to hide food wrappers under my bed and then every now and again I would have a mass clear out and pretend I was just having a major room tidy. I still have bad times but they are less often and not quite as bad as then. I don't need to hide a cheesecake under my bed!! But I do still have times when I just eat crap. Last week I stopped at the bakers on my way to work and bought a cornish pasty, chocolate muffin and a ham and cheese roll and had eaten them all by 10.30am. Does my partner know? No, he doesn't. The only person who knows is my mum and I did see a therapist but it wasn't t he most useful thing in the world. I think it definately relates to my emotional management, when I am struggling and feeling happy or sad then I turn to food. I have a lot of issues around trust and rejection due to being bullied at school but I think I have slowly got them under control.

My food issues go back decades, literally, but I gave it some real thought over Christmas and did manage to get a handle on what's prompted me to stack on most of my excess weight and what I've been doing to encourage it. Six years back, I was a single parent and was so broke that there was one time when me and the kids spent two weeks living on not much more than slowly rotting peaches and the half a dozen ready meals that I'd had stashed away in the freezer for emergencies. I'll never forget how the baby cried because all I had to give her was a pre-packed chili that was too spicy for her, and how soul-destroyingly bad I felt about it. .... As long as food was coming into the house, I didn't care. I didn't tell anyone, much less my husband. It's only recently that I've realised that a lot of it was down to an unacknowledged dread of being left to feed the kids rotten peaches again.

Thank you for your honesty and I have to say I identified with your feeling of desperation of being hungry and not having enough. I do get very panic-y when I fear my need to eat will not be met. Thinking out loud here, but for me, maybe the memories of starving when poor and the memories of starving when dieting somehow get all mixed together in my head. I really hate to be hungry and I have to promise myself that I'll eat, that I won't go back into the starvation mode super low calorie diets I've endured in the past.

Wow! I'm surprised at my emotional response to what you wrote and the feelings it stirred up in me.

Ditto. This made me cry. I remember nights going to bed hungry because all the four of us (me, mom, dad & sis) had for dinner was one can of tomato soup, watered down till it was almost clear, split between the four of us. Once my dad got a better job, we all started eating like we were making up for lost time. I lived for a long time eating like there might not be food tomorrow. One of my biggest fears as a mother is that my daughter will be hungry and I won't be able to feed her.

I absolutely own up to it and try to fight it. I had a hard time last week... a few days nearly off the wagon but I manage to keep myself on it.

It helps me feel the need to be more committed to finding control over my eating habits.

I definitely don't own up to my binges.
If I binge, I erase my entire day because I'd rather see nothing than face the truth.
My 2013 started with a lot of drama and I've put on 10lbs since January 1.
Definitely not something I'm proud of.
I've gotten the urges under control in the past and I know I can get them under control again.
It's just a matter of determination and dedication.

I'm curious as to what people consider to be binge eating. How many calories in a day, for instance? I've always thought of binge eating as stuffing down five or ten thousand calories at a sitting (not a secret trip to McDonald's for the #8 and a milkshake) but I'd like to know what it means on MFP. Thanks!

Enough to nealy throw up. It's hard to count the calories because I don't look down into my hands to see how many are there, I take fistful of food and put it into my mouth. When I binge it will be something like an entire dozen muffins with several glasses of milk, an entire box of ceral (min wheats), the entire bag of raisins or seeds....

yes, I own up everything I eat, my binges are not what they used to be like, but when I do have a binge...usually PMS one..its may be 500 cals or so , maybe 750.cals ...not like back when I could eat a whole large pizza to myself. then a carton of icecream...but my binges tend to be more healthier choices now ike veggie sticks, nut butters, etc....so I guess thats the good thing

I am really struggling with this myself. I want to stop so badly, I know it is extremely unhealthy and I know I don't want to do it anymore. I definitely learned it from my mother and I refuse to pass it on to my children. I have no shame, I'll do it in front of people, I can't control it! I hate to admit this but I easily do it one to two times a week. It totally ruins all my work out efforts and makes me feel like I have to work out as opposed to wanting to work out. I just finished reading David Kessler's book "The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite" it was extremely insightful and I would suggest it to anyone with a binging problem.

God, that felt good to at least tell someone.

I have told people that I binge but I am generally alone when it happens and it is over before I know what hit me. I know I am lonely at those times and I guess I am trying to fill a void.

I'm curious as to what people consider to be binge eating. How many calories in a day, for instance? I've always thought of binge eating as stuffing down five or ten thousand calories at a sitting (not a secret trip to McDonald's for the #8 and a milkshake) but I'd like to know what it means on MFP. Thanks!

I don't think there is a specific calorie definition to a binge, but what defines it is a feeling of lack of control. When you start and can't stop.

This! Out of control eating. Yes, I do it alone. Yes, I spent years in therapy for this eating disorder and rarely if ever do I binge anymore, but it could happen. Guilt and shame are often the results which cause more binging, vicious circle.

I do binge around the holidays, to the point of just making myself mentally sick of eating. It's the one time of year I don't moderate myself too much, but even then I ionly gain 5 to 10 pounds over the 3 months I relax my regiment. Otherwise, I am pretty stable and if I binge I try to compensate some other way (eat less another meal or exercise more).

Good luck