Should your spouse tell you when you need to loose weight?

I'd be hurt, but I'd want them to be honest.

If I was getting unhealthily overweight, I'd want them to let me know. It'd probably give me a wake up call! I'd also want them to be honest if I'd got so big they didn't find me sexually attractive anymore, as that's still important to me.

I think it lies in how they suggest it. If they were mean, or degrading about it, then that's not acceptable. It also wouldn't be acceptable to me if they mentioned it, knowing that I was already trying/doing something about it. If they were tactful and nice about it though, I'd be more willing to listen to their POV.

All in the delivery. When I told my ex I wanted to lose weight his response was "Good, maybe then you'd actually be attractive."

My wife basically told me that my junk was getting shorter due to being a fatass. It got the point across, and that's all that matters.

^^^Best answer ever.

To the OP: it is all in how you phrase it. If the hubby is a jerk about it, than he is likely to get a junkpunch. Why should he point it out, I have a mirror for the love of god. But if the hubby says: "Hey let's join the Y together. Let's go hiking. Let's try to eat better" than it is presented as a team effort rather than your a fat@ss go to the gym. Just like any treatment, it will only be successful if the person getting treatment is ready to make the change.

NO! When I was overweight, my husband never mentioned it or made me feel anything but beautiful and loved. I didn't need him to tell me; I knew I needed to lose weight. When I got serious, he became my biggest cheerleader. He has celebrated every lost pound with me and still makes me feel beautiful and loved.

when i saw a picture of myself and realized i was huge I turned and looked at him and asked "why didn't you tell me i was so huge?" he said he loved me no matter what...(he is a sweet heart)

but I was close to 300lbs....before I realized how big i was...BTW I didn't have a scale at home, i had a surgery and the nurse said my weight outloud,,,that opened my eyes..thank God for the surgery!....

So in a way, yes I think a SO should say something like maybe you should start trying to eat healthier, or start walking or doing something...but together...

How about - husband tells you he's not attracted to you anymore but still loves you. Says he wants to be with you no matter what. Acknowledges that he isn't perfect anymore either. Basically eats anything he wants, whenever he wants, as you are trying to make healthy choices - for yourself of course, not for him. For example comes home after an evening shift with a buttered roll and huge rice krispie treat, eats them and a package of crackers in front of you.

My husband has never told me I need to lose weight (although I wish he would). I have taken the initiative on my own, and also included him (he is overweight as well) in my mission to get healthy. I did not outright tell him that he was overweight, but he already knew this and actually started working out with me well before he started watching his diet as well.

I think we are well within our rights to watch out for the well-being of our significant others' -- we want them around for as long as possible, so it only stands to reason we would have their best interest at heart. Delivery of that sort of 'message' is the key though. As I said, I never told my husband he needed to lose weight -- I simply asked him if he would workout with me to help me stay accountable (I like having a workout buddy and he is my best friend so it only made sense). He agreed and since then he has noticed how much weight he would actually like to lose and now here we are, in it together.

my ex gf says no.

No, never. No one should feel entitled to police another person's body/appearance, no matter how close they are.

Anyway, people know when they need to lose weight. It's not like that just escapes their perception of themselves. I don't need anyone else telling me about my body because baby I have a mirror and a scale for that thanks.

I don't think it is anyone's place other then a doctor to tell someone they need to lose weight. Seriously do people think that fat people don't look in the mirror?

I personally think it's all in the presentation. If my husband just came up and said "You need to lose a few pounds, you're getting fat." I would most likely respond with "You need a bigger d*ck." However, if he expressed genuine concern for my happiness and well-being, etc., and didn't come across as a selfish, shallow jerk, I think it's just fine.

I think it depends on the situation. If my husband was thinner and told me that I needed to lose some weight, I think it would bother me. My husband has told me that we need to lose weight together. At first it was hard to hear him say that, but then I realized he just wanted both of us to be healthy.

I went to the dr the other day and she told me that it would help if I lost weight. That about killed me coming from a doctor that I had just met. At first I was offended and thought "Well, you're no skinny minny".

So basically I think if someone is deeply concerned and wanted you to lose weight because of you health it's ok. But if they are telling you that you should lose weight because you don't look like the way they want you to, I would tell them where to go.

it would be painful, but, really, wish my bf had said something when I started to get chubby bc then i could have stopped it earlier.

Same. Eventually I said something about it myself and my boyfriend didn't agree per say, but didn't deny it either. Then he said the same thing about himself and we ended up working together to lose weight. Worked out well, but I feel as if I should have pointed it out to him and he should have come to me about it. By doing nothing, I feel as if we weren't addressing that it was an issue and were allowing it to get worse and worse (and thus we were getting bigger and bigger).

I would prefer to be asked how I felt about my weight than be told that I need to lose. More than likely if my husband thinks I need to lose weight, I've been thinking that long before. And since I cook, he probably needs to lose weight too! My husband and I try to focus on being healthy, looking & feeling good-- not so much on the numbers. This way we can work together on healthier eating and exercising, and encourage each other, not nag each other. We go on walks together, and eat our meals together. Teamwork is much better than finger-pointing!

Honesty in a relationship is paramount. Brutal honestly, not so much. Should my husband tell me to lose weight? YES

If I was unhappy with my weight and complained about my body but wasn't motivated? YES
If it was a health issue? YES
If I thought I looked great, loved myself, had no health issues but HE didn't like the way I looked? YES... so I knew to dump his *kitten*!

I think we all know who we married. And you know if it's coming from their issues or out of concern/support for you. So, do you want to know what they really think? That's up to you.

My hubs is awesome and he loves my curves, I don't think he ever had a problem with my size. But I had pain in my knees, very little energy and I wanted to lose weight. Now that I finally decided to do it, he's been very supportive. So he's exercising with me, he's eating healthy with me. He's even more likely to have tea with me "for dessert" instead of his normal Scotch!

^^this