weight loss + insercuirty

I am the opposite but from what I have seen from others...you have to love yourself the way you look NOW.. because no matter how skinny you get you will always find flaws..

I was blessed with a mom who taught to have great self esteem.. (maybe too much at times..LOL) so I could be a big as a horse but will stick love myself...

You should never put yourself down and feel inadequate.. Look in the mirror and find something you like and go from there..find another thing.. don't compare yourself to others either..especially famous people..

I am hoping I can raise my girls to have my self esteem.. I never want them to feel like they aren't beautiful..

New rule - you're not allowed to talk to yourself in any way that you wouldn't talk to someone else. Would you tell your best friend that she's not pretty? Not likely... Like any habit, it can take some time and practice to break but you can do it.
And listen to your boyfriend. Guys tend to be very honest - they're not raised to be shady like we females are.

Like the other poster said, if you're not truly happy with yourself, just losing the weight's not going to help you. How about trying some new things and find something that brings you joy and pride and a sense of accomplishment? I know a lot of people get this from exercise but many others get it from doing crafts or taking classes or volunteering or finding a job that really suits them...

I feel a lot better since I lost my weight (55lbs and counting) I even look in the mirror sometimes and think "damn I look good"... but I still don't know how to accept compliments, nor do I ever expect them. I still feel like the chubby guy I always was and while I have definitely gotten better about it, the feeling is still there. I think it is just one of those things that will take a lot of time and a lot of self encouragement to get used to...

I remember feeling that way when I was 18. I weighed around 165 pounds, and I was in decent shape, but I was a little "chunky", maybe 10-15 pounds overweight. I thought I was "fat", and my friend (who was 25 at the time) kept saying, "NO! You're curvy! You look gorgeous."

She was right. When I look at old pictures, I see a gorgeous hourglass figure with just a little bit of extra weight (easily covered with proper clothing). I looked amazing, and I can't wait to look like that again.

Please try not to compare yourself to Photoshopped celebrities. Try to remember they have bad hair days, bad makeup days, and days where they feel like they're too heavy too. They also have chefs, personal trainers, etc. Also, I don't envy them because their weight is a constant news item. Could you imagine gaining three pounds and having the tabloids shrieking about it and then losing five pounds and having them call you anorexic? Ugh. No thanks.

Focus on all of the things you love about yourself and then try to improve the things you don't. Don't insult yourself.

I think you are lovely. You have a very pretty smile and gorgeous hair, and your face has a nice shape. You don't have any full-length pictures, but I'm sure I and the others could find nice things to say if you posted some. (That isn't meant to sound creepy, I promise.)

You have to love yourself for who you are, you will always be you no matter how skinny or heavy. Find the inner beauty in yourself and you will find peace. Of course feeling comfortable in your weight helps but ultimately weight and beauty play a minimal role in yourself worth. Good luck on your journey and be well

I'm sort of opposite! I had more confidence when I was heavier.. Now like you I'm more focused on my flaws, I think my mind hasn't adjusted to the fact that I'm no longer obese! But I've worked so hard and still am left with a mess.. I look hot with clothes on, so I feel like a fake? lol Before I was BIG and beautiful so guys knew what they were getting themselves into, and now its just different! But I'm learning to accept my new found body. From my experience weight loss doesn't solve self esteem issues (if you just have a little to lose yes maybe it can) But I believe in the in the power of positivity! Maybe put a up-lifting quote on you mirror, and every time you look in in the mirror read it to your self a few times. Before you go to sleep and when you wake up tell yourself "I am smart, I am beautiful, I am healthy, I am destined for greatness". Make a effort to replace every negative thought with a positive one, the moment the negative thought enters your mind push it away!! Sometimes we need to remind ourselves how wonderful we are!! Eventually these thoughts will become a part of your subconscious mind and you will no longer have to convince yourself of your greatness.. I realize I may sound like a crazy person, but no one is perfect. And the fact that you realize you are negative toward yourself you can work one learning to love yourself!! Theres a book called "the key to yourself" in my opinion its common sense, but not things you think of on a daily basis. It reminds you that you can change any bad habit you have and opens you mind up to all the possibilities within youself! I hope this helps and in my opinion your BF is right, your are gorgeous girl

Hunny, you are beautiful dont let society make you think any differently. If everyone looked the same we would live in one boring world. Diversity is a beautiful thing, and being confident is the sexiest thing you could ever do for yourself. Look in the miror look at all your "flaws" (i call them differences) and love them. 30 years from now your going to be hitting yourself over the head for thinking this way and wishing you could look how you do now. Be confident in your skin, I know I stuggled alot with this in High School, having redhair and people telling you, you have no soul was hard to hear... but being different is probably the best thing ever, I would walk around the halls confident and people believed I was even tho underneath it i was very insecure. Now looking back at it I was being so redic and that is the age i guess. Now im soo greatful to have a healthy body, a great personality and im surounded by people who love me. If you are healthy you should be happy, if not keep doing what your doing eat healthy and workout.

I'm sort of opposite! I had more confidence when I was heavier.. Now like you I'm more focused on my flaws, I think my mind hasn't adjusted to the fact that I'm no longer obese! But I've worked so hard and still am left with a mess.. I look hot with clothes on, so I feel like a fake? lol Before I was BIG and beautiful so guys knew what they were getting themselves into, and now its just different! But I'm learning to accept my new found body. From my experience weight loss doesn't solve self esteem issues (if you just have a little to lose yes maybe it can) But I believe in the in the power of positivity! Maybe put a up-lifting quote on you mirror, and every time you look in in the mirror read it to your self a few times. Before you go to sleep and when you wake up tell yourself "I am smart, I am beautiful, I am healthy, I am destined for greatness". Make a effort to replace every negative thought with a positive one, the moment the negative thought enters your mind push it away!! Sometimes we need to remind ourselves how wonderful we are!! Eventually these thoughts will become a part of your subconscious mind and you will no longer have to convince yourself of your greatness.. I realize I may sound like a crazy person, but no one is perfect. And the fact that you realize you are negative toward yourself you can work one learning to love yourself!! Theres a book called "the key to yourself" in my opinion its common sense, but not things you think of on a daily basis. It reminds you that you can change any bad habit you have and opens you mind up to all the possibilities within youself! I hope this helps and in my opinion your BF is right, your are gorgeous girl

This! ^^^

I want to say that for me it got better with age. I hated my body so bad, and always felt like a fake that people wouldn't see it with clothes on. Working out --> sanity check! I have not so much weight to lose but I am struggling with the scale as I see a number I haven't seen in years, and I just can't "see" it. So every time I work out it reminds me I'm also doing this because I want to live a long, healthy life, and I have a ritual of thanking my body for all it allowed me to do on that workout day. Might not be perfect but it's healthy and getting stronger every day :-)

Self esteem isn't about your body, it's all about what is in your head. There are a lot of skinny girls with low self esteem too. So, work on your whole self, not just your body.

I know a guy twice your age wasn't who you were seeking advice from, but here I go anyway.
Plenty of girls feel exactly the same as you do, even ones you think are really pretty. Same as I promise plenty of them think you are.
So, don't focus on you, just make sure everyday you give out genuine compliments. Help other people feel better about themselves. You may find it makes you feel better about yourself, and often when you give out positivity the universe will throw some back.

I almost immediatley start feeling somewhat better just after I have changed my diet & exercise for a few days. It gives you a boost of energy you aren't used to having so it puts me in more positive moods. I have lost 5.5 pounds in the past 9 days and I am feeling great!