Getting dumped...

When I start thinking obsessively about something and have a hard time stopping, one thing that I've found that helps is to replace that thought (or group of thoughts) with something else. Like a mantra for instance. Find some alternative thought or phrase that you think instead. This might sound silly but the one that came to me the last time I experienced this was that little song "Row row row your boat gently down the stream, merrily merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream." So every time my mind would go into that obsessive pattern, as soon as I realized it I would start thinking or humming that little song to myself. Repeatedly. Until the obsessive thoughts let go. Mind control doesn't work, but we can direct its attention elsewhere. And I think having a stand-by replacement ahead of time makes it easier. It could be anything... an affirmation of some kind even. Something empowering.

You'll look back on this time at some point soon and realize you're free, and that this freedom kinda crept up on you when you weren't looking.

YOU ARE A GENIUS !!!!!
I am reading all these posts as they apply to my current situation and you've just inspired me to use a resource I've had all along, the mantra I learned has to do with a Hawaiin saying,,,,,HO OPONOPONO and it's just to repeat

I LOVE YOU
IM SORRY
PLEASE FORGIVE ME
THANK YOU
Just to snap you out of negative useless thoughts and these sayings will put you in the correct frame of mind, such as love, forgiveness, grattitude,

Thank you for the trigger,
Lucinda

Dude - don't see a doctor. You're not ill, you're upset over a break up. It's not something that is wrong with you.

Really not helpful. She may well (and probably quite likely) not be ill, but that's why you go see a doctor then they can confirm either way.

As I said I avoid any medication if possible and avoid visiting doctors or dentists etc. But this may have brought out underlying depression issues as happened to me. It may not but the best way to determine this is see a doctor. Then can move forward in whichever path is best.

Most likely it is just heart break and will just take time to recover from but one quick chat with a doctor is hardly going to do any harm.

To the OP, good luck you'll get through it in the end.

No, you're not helpful. People are far too eager to get to a doctor without being suggested because something bad has happened which has made you sad.

If everyone who broke up went to the doctor because they were sad we'd need 10 times as many doctors.

Don't want to get drawn into a personal argument, but how can you say I am eager to see a doctor?! Did you even fully read my post. I have been to the doctor twice in the last 12 years, but on the recommendation of friends I went the 2nd time due to the way I was after that break up. and I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and severe depression, despite having many feelings that I thought were just post break up. So I am speaking from experience of the same symptoms. I hope that the OP is just sad as you have said, and will be happy again quickly, but they quite possible aren't just sad.

I havent said, buy loads of anti-depressants and take as many as you can, I have said book an appointment with the doctor and have a quick chat. How the hell is that going to cause problems? People visit doctors for far more inane and time wasting issues.

Continued symptoms of not eating, having no energy and not sleeping are not just being sad, they are signs of possible depression, which in different people can be triggered by different things; failed relationships, death of friend or family, loss of employment. Everybody is different and whilst not everybody needs to see a doctor, the above symptoms if prolonged would suggest it is a good idea otherwise they will lead to malnourishment and potential illness.

Dude - don't see a doctor. You're not ill, you're upset over a break up. It's not something that is wrong with you.

Really not helpful. She may well (and probably quite likely) not be ill, but that's why you go see a doctor then they can confirm either way.

As I said I avoid any medication if possible and avoid visiting doctors or dentists etc. But this may have brought out underlying depression issues as happened to me. It may not but the best way to determine this is see a doctor. Then can move forward in whichever path is best.

Most likely it is just heart break and will just take time to recover from but one quick chat with a doctor is hardly going to do any harm.

To the OP, good luck you'll get through it in the end.

No, you're not helpful. People are far too eager to get to a doctor without being suggested because something bad has happened which has made you sad.

If everyone who broke up went to the doctor because they were sad we'd need 10 times as many doctors.

Don't want to get drawn into a personal argument, but how can you say I am eager to see a doctor?! Did you even fully read my post. I have been to the doctor twice in the last 12 years, but on the recommendation of friends I went the 2nd time due to the way I was after that break up. and I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and severe depression, despite having many feelings that I thought were just post break up. So I am speaking from experience of the same symptoms. I hope that the OP is just sad as you have said, and will be happy again quickly, but they quite possible aren't just sad.

I havent said, buy loads of anti-depressants and take as many as you can, I have said book an appointment with the doctor and have a quick chat. How the hell is that going to cause problems? People visit doctors for far more inane and time wasting issues.

Continued symptoms of not eating, having no energy and not sleeping are not just being sad, they are signs of possible depression, which in different people can be triggered by different things; failed relationships, death of friend or family, loss of employment. Everybody is different and whilst not everybody needs to see a doctor, the above symptoms if prolonged would suggest it is a good idea otherwise they will lead to malnourishment and potential illness.

So in your case it seems justified. But billions of people have been through this. It IS normal, and suggesting to someone at a vulnerable time that they might now be suffering from depression is just likely to fuel the fire.

I was sad for like 9 months or more after my first break up - but it was my first gf, we were together nearly 6 years and I was devastated. You have to experience the negative feelings properly to push past it and move on - it made me stronger for sure! I hate the easy fix - pill for this, pill for that - society that is repeatedly pushed. It's almost certainly not going to trigger depression, so just accept the sadness and deal with it like 99% of people through history have.

This is degenerating now anyway - you have your opinion (which is obviously wrong as it contradicts mine).....

Either way - OP - I'm sure you'll be fine in time. Hope you feel better sooner than later...