Hubby threw out all my "healthy food".. WTH

naayden
naayden Posts: 9
in Motivation and Support
So today I just join this site however in December I started to change the way I eat. More organic no fried or process food.
Well my husband seem so supportive please keep in mind he is 5'9 155 lbs very active so he eats any and everything. Me on the other hand is a different story I look at food it goes straight to my thighs and stomach. LOL. For the last two months he did not complain about the groceries nor what I cooked until tonight. He came home with buffalo chicken grande nachos. He offered me some I decline he kept saying come on try them their so good. Again I politely decline, I don't know what that triggered but he snapping saying he can't live like this anymore. He wants to drink whole milk instead of skim. He hates yogurt , he miss me cooking with salt, Mrs dash is disgusting. what he have to do to get some soda in here.This man was on a full rampage but the kicker is he threw all the food out then puts his debt card on the kitchen counter and said he wants "real" food here by time he gets home from work. I never been so pissed off in my life. He complains when I work out or mention anything about it. I just needed to vent. I refuse for this incident to discouraged me. little do he know I'm going repurchase my food he tossed out. *smiling* good night
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Replies

  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
    oh fudge all that noise
  • Mhaney
    Mhaney Posts: 467 Member
    the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    Kick him out!
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025
    I wouldn't buy food, he's on his own for the rest of the week.
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    wow, i would have kicked my husbands *kitten*, no joke! i would have taken that debit card of his and smacked him upside the head with it, and told him that he has 18 minutes to get his butt to the store and re-purchase all of my stuff that he threw out. and you know what, he would have been back with everything, in 17 minutes!
  • sheyennelilly
    sheyennelilly Posts: 122 Member
    Let him cool down and then have a talk with him about what's going on. Then do rebuy your food. You are a grown woman and need not be controlled by someone else. If he doesn't like the food you are buying, he knows his way to the grocery store, right? Or if you are the main shopper and want to work with him, talk to him about some of the things he enjoys that he would like to have "in stock" around the house. He needs to respect and support you and you need to do the same, and having a screaming fit of pent up resentment is not the way to do it. Good luck to you and keep up the good work you're doing for your body.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to :)
  • aekimz23
    aekimz23 Posts: 112 Member
    Honestly I can see why your husband is mad, although the way he raged out was wrong. Just because you want to eat healthier does not necessarily mean he does. And that's not a bad thing! He's fit, if he doesn't have health problems from the way he likes to eat, I don't see anything wrong with it. By changing your eating habits, you've changed around his eating habits (though clearly he didn't want you to). If you're the one who grocery shops, buy your healthy food, buy his indulgent foods, tell him he has to make his food himself if you feel you have to, but don't keep the foods he enjoys out of the house just because you want to be healthier.
  • packratpatty
    packratpatty Posts: 46 Member
    Man that's awful! It would have scared the heck out of me for my husband to flip out like that. It seems to me that something much more is bothering him. Hopefully he is feeling bad at work for yelling at you and throwing a fit. When he comes home, tell him if he wants that crap to eat that he will have to go buy it himself but you are not going to be an accessory to his early death and you want to live with him for a long long time. Tell him that is why you want to be healthy, so you can live a long healthy life WITH HIM. That might make him feel better. Tell him if he wants that junk food that he can go ahead and have it but you are going to still eat your healthy way and you'll be really disappointed if he ever acts like that or treats you like that again. Tell him it scared you and you want to feel safe in your home...that ought to get to him! Good luck. Don't give in.
  • kellyf_83
    kellyf_83 Posts: 20
    Let him do his own grocery shopping. Give him his own cabinet and fridge space. Tell him to cook his own meals. And while your at it, tell him to do his own cleaning too. You do what makes you feel good and if cant support you then throw him out with the junk food!
  • arsonsmom
    arsonsmom Posts: 234 Member
    This is a great idea I would bring him in a little at a time...Learn how to cook one mealers for him and how to make those same meals with a healthy twist...Or as I do with my daughter learn to resist the junk... I normally have to keep some snacks for her lunch in the house of course we love the same things...But it does help me to keep up on my will power!!
    Good luck
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to :)
    If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.
  • PennStateChick
    PennStateChick Posts: 327 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    Yea, this advice wouldn't fly in my house. I pay for the groceries, do most of the grocery shopping, and the majority of the cooking. I buy and cook what I want, although I include things I know he likes. (For instance, buffalo chicken lasagna is lower calorie and one of his favs.) However, if he wants crap and through out my groceries- he would be shopping for himself.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    not in my house. my husband and kids eat what i cook. im not a waitress. if im eating healthy, they are eating healthy. if my husband doesnt like it, he knows where the door is, and also knows my address to mail his child support payments to :)
    If you re-read my post, I did not say she should be his waitress. I suggested that she continue to eat healthy and COOK healthy.

    i didnt say that you said that. i said in my house, my eating habits WILL BE FORCED ON EVERYONE ELSE, because im not a waitress, and i dont cook to order... i make a meal, and thats it, they can either eat it, or starve. thier choice. that was my point. im not going to buy junk, when im trying to eat healthy. and i dare him to bring junk in to my house...
  • ladymiseryali
    ladymiseryali Posts: 2,555 Member
    Is this the first time he has had a childish outburst like that and demanded that you do something? What happens if you refuse? He sounds like a grade A prick or man-child. He needs to realize that you've made a lifestyle change. If he wants to eat other food, then he can go buy it himself......
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    This journey is much easier when everybody in the family is on the same page. I agree, it was over the top for him to approach this the way he did .. throwing that stuff out made no sense... At the same time, as one other person said, the best way to deal with this (as in any relationship) is COMPROMISE... This compromise, however, should not be one sided... There is no reason you cannot have 2% milk AND whole milk in the fridge... Just because you have yogurt should not mean that YOU have to eat it... He should not force anything down your throat that YOU don't want.. and by the same token, making things available that HE enjoys would be an acceptable compromise. In most cases, what is wrong is not the food choices though... Usually when things show up like this, it only reveals relationship problems that are already there.. the food is not the problem... However, getting to what the REAL problem is, will be necessary for your relationship to flourish.
  • Mcgrawhaha
    Mcgrawhaha Posts: 1,596 Member
    Is this the first time he has had a childish outburst like that and demanded that you do something? What happens if you refuse? He sounds like a grade A prick or man-child. He needs to realize that you've made a lifestyle change. If he wants to eat other food, then he can go buy it himself......

    yes, exactly what i was thinking... a childs tempertantrum... my husband has tried once or twice to throw a tantrum... but he soon realized that a 6 foot 3 man sleeping in a dodge magnum was no bueno!
  • Italiano7
    Italiano7 Posts: 382 Member
    the next thing that would be getting thrown out is him, then I'd slap him with his own shoe and say "I want a better man by the time I get back"




    ^^^^^^this
  • Cameronzmum
    Cameronzmum Posts: 10 Member
    Maybe he is just jealous of how you are going to look when you get down to goal weight (if not there already). And that he's afraid he might lose you and you'd end up moving on with someone else instead of him. That and once in awhile wants to sneak some junkfood. If you don't already give yourself a cheat meal/snack/not necessarily food. You know a reward for doing a spectacular job. I mean you can't eat completely healthy all the time. After all your human, besides talk to your significant other. Maybe his idea wasn't fully ideal but isn't there still a way you can do that. Do healthier versions of favorite foods then you both get what you want.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    ^ I agree with this.

    It just won't do anything for their marriage for her to say, "Screw you, go to the store for your own garbage food." She still has to live with him. I don't understand how people are so quick to suggest telling their spouse to shove it...
  • PaigeAnderson100
    PaigeAnderson100 Posts: 301 Member
    Oh dear.

    Trying to lose weight is already hard enough and it's even harder when the person that you're in a relationship with, doesn't need to lose weight. If you want to be with this person, you will have to conquer the biggest task in weight loss... willpower. I understand where you're coming from about wanting healthy food in your body and working out but, that doesn't mean that he has to have healthy food in his body. The house that you live in is both of yours- You both need to feel welcome and satisfied in your home. He needs to feel like there is food for him to eat and you need to feel the same way. Can I suggest making your own cupboard and giving him his own? You could have your healthy food in that cupboard and he can have his crap (lol) in his cupoboard. You can also have your own space in the fridge. I am not trying to come off as being rude but, I know how it feels to be in a house with someone who has different ideas than you do and it doesn't feel very good. The two of you CAN work this out if you can learn how to talk to each other without these strange outbursts. He sounds like he has been bottling up his emotions for quite sometime now, (I see that you have lost 80 pounds) and it sounds like he just exploded for no reason at all. You didn't and don't deserve what he did or what he said so, don't get me wrong when I am sticking up for his eating habits. You should have a conversation with him explaining WHY you want to lose weight and WHAT kind of support you need from him. He should want you to be happy even if that means losing weight. I guess you could take it as a compliment that he loves you the way that you are. It isn't fair for you to have to walk on eggshells everyday and not be able to talk to him about things that you're passionate about.... you need to get that point accross to him. Is there any way to have a nice conversation without fighting and without using foul words on each other's emotions? That should happen soon so that you can continue on your weight loss adventure.

    Good luck to you. Add me as a friend if you'd like.
  • pattycake118
    pattycake118 Posts: 44 Member
    Ouch. I bet he's afraid you'll realize you're too hot for him. But, he managed to bring home wings, so he can probably bring home pop or other things he wants. The compromise I have with my husband is on the grocery list - if he wants something he has to put it on there. I don't drink pop, so I don't know when there's none left. I don't like that he drinks it, but that's his pleasure.
  • starvinkevin
    starvinkevin Posts: 331
    Your husbands a food addict.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    I live in a split house too, I am watching what I eat and my hubby is not. I buy all the old stuff he likes and all the new stuff that I like. When I fix a meal I build it around my plan, but have extra dishes for hubby. I do most of the cooking because I can't trust his judgement and I certainly don't want to have separate meals. That would not be constructive. I don't know the extent of your calorie reduction, but your husband may have been experiencing low blood sugar and reacted badly. He wouldn't be the first or last person to throw a tantrum out of frustration. I would bet that everyone here has done the same thing over something just as solvable. I know I have.
  • sarahstrezo
    sarahstrezo Posts: 568 Member
    I also don't think it has to be all or nothing.

    I buy 3 different types of milk at my house....I drink skim, the kids drink 2% and my husband drinks rice milk (he's lactose intolerant). I'm the only one who likes Greek yogurt, so I buy that for me and buy regular yogurt for the kids. There are plenty of things that I like to eat that nobody else in the house does. No big deal.
    As for meals....I only cook one meal. My husband does understand and appreciate that I cook healthy 80% of the time. I'm not so strict about it that we can't have some 'fun' food sometimes. It's all about balance. Our dinners usually consist of a protein (meat), starch and veggie. When we eat balanced, healthy food 80-85% of the time, we don't think twice about having pizza or chinese take out here and there.
  • HIITMe
    HIITMe Posts: 921 Member
    Let him cool down and then have a talk with him about what's going on. Then do rebuy your food. You are a grown woman and need not be controlled by someone else. If he doesn't like the food you are buying, he knows his way to the grocery store, right? Or if you are the main shopper and want to work with him, talk to him about some of the things he enjoys that he would like to have "in stock" around the house. He needs to respect and support you and you need to do the same, and having a screaming fit of pent up resentment is not the way to do it. Good luck to you and keep up the good work you're doing for your body.

    most sensible answer on this topic... the rest of these folks gonna have you fat lonely and alone in the not too distant future....
  • jennmodugno
    jennmodugno Posts: 363 Member
    I agree with much of what has been said before me.

    My husband doesn't mind me trying to eat healthier, and he doesn't mind me adding more veggies to our meals, but he would blow a gasket if I told him not to bring snacks or bacon into the house ever again. lol. So we have a deal - he has his snacks and coke and junk food, but he keeps it where I never go. In this case, in his office. And I asked him not to buy my biggest temptation, which is Oreos. If he wants something unhealthy for dinner, he tells me the night before so that I can either make space in my calories for some, or I can plan to eat something else. But he knows he has to cook it himself! And since many of our meal plans include chicken, it's very simple for me to make one piece for him the way he likes, and one for me that's healthier. He still sort of feels weird about it, but we manage. :)
  • YoungDoc2B
    YoungDoc2B Posts: 1,593 Member
    He can cook for himself if he doesn't like the foods you eat..
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    In all fairness, you're the one who is trying to change your eating habits and you've kind of forced it on him. I'd suggest making some of the things he wants available in the house. Continue to eat healthy yourself and cook healthy. If he chooses to eat crap, so be it. You can only change you.

    Why helllllllloooo, Voice of Reason, where have you been all of my life?

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