how do you deal with a bad coworker?

It isn't paying to study how to get along with people, it is a book that shows you how you approach and have conversations in certain crucial situations.

just break up

Kill her with kindness. Not creepy stalker kindness but always make a point to say Hi and Bye to her. Always ask her opinion in group discussions. Always smile when you see her. It will either make her like you or drive her insane. Either way you take control of the situation and come out the bigger person.

To me this screams of being deferential to her. I would take the approach of a calm, non-confrontational conversation detailing what I perceive is going on and ask why this is.

I fear the person she is dealing with is not a level headed mature individual. Conversations are rarely effective when people aren't receptive. Better to change the signals you are giving. If the other girl perceives it as deferential what difference does it make to her if she knows she is the one controlling the way the chips fall. :-)

Kill her with kindness. Not creepy stalker kindness but always make a point to say Hi and Bye to her. Always ask her opinion in group discussions. Always smile when you see her. It will either make her like you or drive her insane. Either way you take control of the situation and come out the bigger person.

To me this screams of being deferential to her. I would take the approach of a calm, non-confrontational conversation detailing what I perceive is going on and ask why this is.

I fear the person she is dealing with is not a level headed mature individual. Conversations are rarely effective when people aren't receptive. Better to change the signals you are giving. If the other girl perceives it as deferential what difference does it make to her if she knows she is the one controlling the way the chips fall. :-)

Maybe it is a guy thing, but I just cannot swallow that pill. If someone is treating me badly, I feel the need to make them back down. :laugh:

Very sorry for you. It has happened to me. A colleague told me then that "It's best to try and ignore her. When you see her, you see air," I was told. I tried my best, but basically it was never cured until she left, and while it was going on it coloured my whole life, even though I tried not to let it -- and after she left, I learned it had happened before to others.

Kill her with kindness. Not creepy stalker kindness but always make a point to say Hi and Bye to her. Always ask her opinion in group discussions. Always smile when you see her. It will either make her like you or drive her insane. Either way you take control of the situation and come out the bigger person.

To me this screams of being deferential to her. I would take the approach of a calm, non-confrontational conversation detailing what I perceive is going on and ask why this is.

I fear the person she is dealing with is not a level headed mature individual. Conversations are rarely effective when people aren't receptive. Better to change the signals you are giving. If the other girl perceives it as deferential what difference does it make to her if she knows she is the one controlling the way the chips fall. :-)

Maybe it is a guy thing, but I just cannot swallow that pill. If someone is treating me badly, I feel the need to make them back down. :laugh:

Begin with the end in mind... What is the ultimate outcome you seek. Pride often stands in the way of my success. I call it Stubborn sometimes but it is pride. It is my goal in life to make my prideful stubborness an asset instead of a detriment.

Salespeople can be (not necessarily, I've definitely known both extremes), in general, a bit abrasive, pushy, overbearing. They have to make people listen when they might not necessarily want to - they have to be that *kitten* that gets their foot in the door so they can sell you the vacuum, they have to be the person selling ice to an eskimo.

It may be that she sees you as green, inexperienced, still wanting people's affection and approval and she's very much past that. Since you can't change her, all you can do is try to understand her perspective and change your approach and reaction.

I deal with people like this - they don't always say good morning, they're not always polite or cheerful. I still say good morning to everyone I see because that's just how I am - if they respond, great. If not, meh - maybe they're having a bad day, are late to something, etc. I don't take it personally anymore -- not saying I didn't in the past, I just learned it had little or nothing to do with me.

On the flipside, I have a coworker who tries WAY too hard to be cheerful and accepted, butts into conversations just to feel like she's a part of it, and is absolutely, thoroughly annoying. Best thing you can do is not try too hard, not let it bother you, and be yourself. You're there because someone thought you belonged there and you could do your job -- just do it, be yourself, be kind, but don't let yourself get run over or taken advantage of.

But most importantly, be respectful. Don't talk badly about any of your coworkers to anyone at work. That reflects on YOU. You are there to represent yourself as a positive contribution and nothing more. It can be easy to get caught up in talking smack if someone's treated you bad, but even if the person you're smack-talking with agrees with you, that person will trust you a little less because she knows you will talk behind someone else's back, so you would probably talk behind theirs if the same opportunity arose.

Your options

1: Ignore her. Easy if you guys work in different department and don't have to interact for work
2: Confront her. This can either make her back down a bit or make her even more mean
3: Do how we do it in corporate world and set her up to either get fired or make her professional life a living hell. Not really that hard but this is bad for the soul and something NOT recommended for kind people. Also requires some brains and experience to get done

Take your pick. I would recommend you stay true to yourself though and pick what suits your personality. And remember, karma is a b****

Ignore it. Who knows what's going on in her life to make her show up that way- nevertheless- it is not your problem. You are at work to provide a service and earn a paycheck -not make friends or be chummy with everyone. If there is something specific that happens then address in a professional mature way. Otherwise- don't think about her and go on with your day.