Still ugly

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13

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  • suewestcountry
    suewestcountry Posts: 35 Member
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    Get yourself into therapy dont rely on strangers on the internet to tell you what you want and need to hear
  • Copaiba
    Copaiba Posts: 75 Member
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    If that's you in the profile pic, then I think there is only one thing you are lacking - CONFIDENCE. Once you build some self esteem, an assurity of who you are and are comfortable with yourself then trust me, you will definately NOT be ugly - indeed quite the opposite I would say! If losing some weight is the catalyst to that, then you've come to the right place. Plenty of support here. Add me to your friends list if you want to talk to someone who will always call it like it is.
    This.
    When I was 18, I thought the same thing. Get a grip. You are asking for people to abuse you and take advantage of you. Men especially. There are actually men out there who actively TRY to make girls feel like **** about themselves so that the men can f#@k them without any "effort" (not even a smile or a cup of coffee) DO NOT GO DOWN THIS ROAD!!!!
    Get a job, get a degree, start a garden or knit a scarf AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT.
  • Fatandfifty3
    Fatandfifty3 Posts: 419 Member
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    I'm not going to say you are beautiful. You know how you look. When I was your age I thought I was ugly. People told me I was pretty. I would give my eye teeth, left leg and eldest sons hand in marriage to be that weight, that person with those opportunities in life again. In short don't waste time on a misguided self belief in how you compare with others.
  • twinteensmom
    twinteensmom Posts: 371 Member
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    My heart is breaking for you. You see, I am the mother of a beautiful 19 year old daughter who also thinks she is ugly. I remember feeling the same way about myself when I was your age, as well. What you must do is get away from and stop comparing yourself to others, particularly pictures in magazines. Ever heard of air-brushing? I have always promised my daughter I would never lie to her. If I thought something didn't match or her hair or make-up didn't look good, I would tell her because I wasn't doing her any favors by telling her something that wasn't true. She would rather hear from someone who loves her than someone who doesn't give a damn about her feelings. I will do the same for you. You are a very beautiful young woman. Anyone who tells you differently is either jealous or blind.
  • Fatandfifty3
    Fatandfifty3 Posts: 419 Member
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    Get yourself into therapy dont rely on strangers on the internet to tell you what you want and need to hear
    Hear hear
  • PrimroseFlower
    PrimroseFlower Posts: 110 Member
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    I think in terms of "beauty" no on should compare themselves to anyone else. If you rate yourself against others, then you will ALWAYS find that some people look better than you, and some worse. I think you feel sorry for yourself. Get over it and accept your look. I'm not gonna tell you that you look fine because everyone else already did. Now dust yourself off and move on. You may think I'm a ****, but I think you needed a taste of reality.
    Thanks.:drinker:
  • ChrisC_77
    ChrisC_77 Posts: 271 Member
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    Nobody is ugly...everyone is beautiful. Because it's on the inside.
  • ijavagypsy
    ijavagypsy Posts: 109
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    When I was younger, I had so many terrible flaws. When I got older, I look at photos of when I was younger and wondered what on earth was I thinking then. Now that I'm an opinionated old bat, I couldn't give a hoot because I invested in myself (education, financial stability, etc.). It's wonderful to be comfy. I hope you get there!
  • sdbart
    sdbart Posts: 189 Member
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    Hunny, You are physically beautiful! You just need to have for faith in yourself and realize that you are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Confidence is what you need. Be happy with who you are, inside. That is where the true beauty lies. Don't ever let anyone, ESPECIALLY YOUSELF, tell you you are ugly.

    I know this sounds strange but try this for 1 week. Put on you favorite out fit each day and look at yourself in the mirror. Tell your reflection, "I am so beautiful. I love myself." See how you start to feel after the end of the week... now try it for two weeks strait.

    :flowerforyou:
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
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    Get yourself into therapy dont rely on strangers on the internet to tell you what you want and need to hear
    Hear hear

    I third this.
    You either have huge mental issues which aren't for a message board of anonymous people to solve, or this is a shameless ploy for attention.
    Either way, seek professional help.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    Ah now, c'mon! You're only 18, you're not ugly in the least but I suggest maybe finding something else to like about yourself, something internal like your personality, sense of humour or intellect because that's where you self esteem should come from, not what you look like externally.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
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    No replies needed, just venting.

    are you sure you weren't just looking for attention and for people to tell you that you're pretty?
  • farway
    farway Posts: 1,264 Member
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    No replies needed, just venting.

    are you sure you weren't just looking for attention and for people to tell you that you're pretty?

    meeow
  • ClementineGeorg
    ClementineGeorg Posts: 505 Member
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    Most people need to realize that losing weight solves only one issue, trully. Losing weight.

    Skinny people can still be sick, can still be ugly, can still be alone, can still have huge self esteem issues (like you), can still have a horrible personality, can still be a bad friend/spouse, etc.

    You need to realize that you need to do many other things in life to be a great, beautiful (in and out) person... not only lose weight. You have to try to be a better person, you have to take care of your skin, hair, friends, family, yourself. You have to fight everyday with your flaws and issues. You have also to learn that looking for attention has many forms, some bad, some good. You have also to learn that sometimes, all of us need to go see a psychologist (not a psychiatrist) to go over these issues.

    And learning that you will realize you are not ugly. And also, uglier people than you will have a better life than you ever will... just because they fight with all of these (not just weight loss) everyday and they win. They don't complain, they fight and they win.
  • Timehope
    Timehope Posts: 44 Member
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    This post makes a very crucial point. We all tend to think how great we will be when and if we lose weight. And losing IS a nice thing -- clothes fit better, it's easier to get around, we don't have rolls of fat to be embarrased about, our doctor is impressed.....
    But after the dust settles (say, about 8 months into maintenance) we realize ... We are still we. The changes are mostly outside. The inner things are still waiting.
    --
    I read a study of alcoholics who had the usual set of big problems and then managed to get sober. They fixed the immediate, acute issues -- the behaviors you notice on city streets, for example -- and then came the surprise: the researchers discovered that the now sober subjects STILL had demons to face. Everyone thought the alcohol was the problem but it was mostly the symptom
    --
    It is probably harder to get to a target weight than it is to get sober. Anyone who manages it or even makes headway -- and especially anyone who maintains, which is the hardest of all -- should be immensely proud. And then take that sense of great accomplishment and use it to tackle the problems that will still surely remain after the weight loss.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    No replies needed, just venting.

    are you sure you weren't just looking for attention and for people to tell you that you're pretty?

    meeow

    Fishing for compliments from an 18 year old seems pretty normal. It's the same from the 30+ crowd on here that seems a bit much. I'm quite willing to take the risk that she's attention seeking to tell the OP that she's pretty. It's rather easy to speak the truth in this case.
  • Yes2HealthyAriel
    Yes2HealthyAriel Posts: 453 Member
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    You are far from ugly. You are beautiful. I can totally relate to your post though. I have never found myself to be even a lil pretty. I look average. I admit I think I look better now that I have lost weight but I dont think it made me look pretty at all.
  • Cold_Steel
    Cold_Steel Posts: 897 Member
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    If this is you in the picture.

    1. You have a serious body image issue and you should probably seek counseling or therapy to improve on that because obviously you are stunning.

    2. You posted this because you felt ugly and wanted every one to whoo over you for the day.

    3. You were seeking attention, and what better way for pretty girls to get it by saying "woe is me I m not pretty please tell me I am please"

    Either of the above - good luck !
  • twins_plus_one
    twins_plus_one Posts: 13 Member
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    Though it may have been worded a wee bit harshly, there is truth in the previous poster's comment. I know this because I've heard all my adolescent and adult life that I was beautiful but literally saw a monster every time I looked in the mirror. Sometimes my own reflection would bring me to tears if I stared long enough (and this was BEFORE the wreckage caused by a twin pregnancy). It wasn't until I was nearing 30 that I felt myself slowly coming out of it and starting to see a little bit of what everyone else saw. But I honestly think that was because I had married my biggest supporter in life, started a family that I felt unconditional love from and discovered something I felt I was really good at (photography). I still have my days where I feel pretty down, but I'm able to snap out of it fairly quickly.

    I agree with Cold_Steel in that the fact that you're posting this means you do indeed want some sort of feedback. You need to hear that you're pretty today. But I think that is OKAY. I don't think you're a vain pretty girl that just hasn't hasn't reached her compliment quota for the week. There's not a doubt in my mind that you have absolutely no idea how pretty you are. And when you truly do see an ugly person in the mirror, you DO need to hear otherwise, and quite often. It won't change your mind, but it'll at least get you through an especially low time. So with that, I'll just say YOU REALLY ARE GORGEOUS. And I say that with 100% honesty. I hope your day gets much better :).
  • cominupmilhouse
    cominupmilhouse Posts: 257 Member
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    Guys, don't be insensitive! Ever consider the possibility that this girl has serious body image issues and might truly perceive herself as ugly?

    Sure it's possible she's "fishing for compliments" in which case, just ignore the post! Your snarky comments do not help ANYONE.

    In the case that she actually has very low confidence what you say can be very hurtful and that should not be allowed on MFP. try support guys, come on. The suggestion of therapy is a great start if you don't want to write a post simply telling her she is beautiful. Try to be proactive.

    As for you, OP, it is a shame that you do not realize your own beauty, but you really need to find a way to change that, if it is so. Don't waste your life worrying about superficial things, what others think of you, what you look like. There are so many more important issues out there, millions of people that would kill to be in your position, don't waste it.

    Free yourself! Be spectacular!!!

    You're beautiful!!

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