From "you look great" to "I'm worried, you're too thin"

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  • justesje
    justesje Posts: 37 Member
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    Oh please, what do they know? You look fine to me. Keep up the good work :D
  • xXmimiXx
    xXmimiXx Posts: 564 Member
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    You look great! Fit and healthy is what you look like to me :-) ignore them! i wouldn't say you should lose any more but you've reached your goal so you know that and I think you look good :-)
  • Junisahn
    Junisahn Posts: 166 Member
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    You look very healthy to me. I know that with expanding waistlines becoming the norm, along with too-skinny actresses and models in the media, our general image of what is a healthy weight is really skewed. There is an interesting flicker page that shows women (and a few men) at various BMIs, and it is amazing to see what different BMIs look like on different frames and see how our perceptions of underweight, healthy weight, overweight, obese and morbidly obese compare with the visual of actual bodies.

    Anyway, that's just my tangential way of saying that people generally have a comment about everything. I remember when I was 5 months pregnant, I'd run into one person who would tell me I looked ready to pop, and not an hour later someone would ask if I was out of the first trimester yet... you just can't win!
  • exercisediva
    exercisediva Posts: 127
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    I call those people......HATERS!
  • Dom_m
    Dom_m Posts: 336 Member
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    Dude, I've had the same thing. All these comments about being sick, not needing to loose any more weight, blah blah. I think mostly its because their old impression of you still informs the way they think. Also, I lost a lot from my face, even though I still had a bit on my gut (enough that I didn't have muscle definition there) so they would see my face and think I was too thin, but I would see my gut and think I still needed to loose more. I just started telling people I was finished trying to lose, despite actually aiming for 1-2 more kg.

    Doing a bit of resistance training and adding a bit of strength will get them off your back. Well done on getting where you are!
  • heathersmilez
    heathersmilez Posts: 2,579 Member
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    No, you don’t look gaunt but loosing 45 lbs is significant and it’s just going to take a while for your family to notice the new healthier you. For now you appear gaunt to them just because you are thinner, it’s a visual adjustment that takes time.

    My mother does the same to me. My arms and shoulders thinned out even more 3 years ago when I started Turbo Jam (they’ve always been on the kind of bony side but even more so after some weight loss) so my mother panicked. She still likes to squeeze my shoulders and tease me to this day and my sister pokes my collar bone when she’s po’d at me but it definitely was a visual adjustment they had to get used to. I had to reassure them I still had my love handles and that is the part I need to work on. Even last year on my wedding day people said I looked sooooooooo skinny (I am 6 lbs heavier currently) which simply was not true. I was very healthy but by no means skinny. I have a wide flat’ish waist but because my dress was strapless, the emphasis was on what you can see, thin shoulders emphasised by a sweetheart neckline, its almost like I planned it that way, hmmmm ;)
  • PoeRaven
    PoeRaven Posts: 433 Member
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    I looked at your profile pics and you are definitely NOT too thin!
    Here's my similar story...

    I am not a very big person. I'm under 5'2" and in my younger years usually weighed between 115 - 125. I weighed 118 the day I was married. 20 years, 2 children, one son-in-law and one granddaughter later I found myself weighing in at a very plump 160.
    Needless to say, I needed to take action! This past Christmas, I made a "conscience" decision to do something about my weight and overall health and started to really look at what I had been doing to myself over these past 20 years. What it came down to was that I simply eat too much for the size person I am. I joined MFP on January 4th and reached my goal of 30 lbs loss in 123 days.
    Here's the kicker...other than family and two very close friends, not one co-worker or anyone else I am acquainted with said a word about my weight loss. The loss has been significant enough to warrant buying a whole new wardrobe (I went from a saize 10/12 to a size 5!), yet no one is saying a word! I kept asking my hubby...Does it show or not...he would respond..."don't be ridiculous, of course it shows. You look amazing!."
    I guess what I'm trying to say is this...I honestly think most people have a teeny tiny bit of jealousy inside to see a person do something good for themselves and be successful at it.
    Recently, one co-worker did comment on something I had said about my weight...her comment was "It must be nice.." I simply turned to her and said, " This didn't JUST HAPPEN, it's a lot of hard work and effort."
    Lastly, do go get the bloodwork done. I recently did and have all my numbers back to good, healthy ranges. I thought my doctor was going to stand up and cheer...All of this hard work has paid off...in more ways than one.
    Only you know what you are doing is good for you. If you are starving yourself to lose weight that would be bad...but obviously you're not...Keep up the good work!
    Sorry for rambling...it's my biggest vice. :flowerforyou:
    God bless,
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    I know what you mean, lost 45 lbs on the fat smash diet and had gotten down in the low 160's, only to have my family giving me a hard time there as well.....and I listened to them, put back on 10 lbs and have realized it was a bad move. The only thing that I didn't like was being/feeling too cold in the wintertime compared to where I was. Now I'm still looking to lose a few lbs and/or tone up at the same time. Don't let them get in the way of your happiness or goals like I did....now it seems like I have to work twice as hard to get what I want out of it!
  • melgibson
    melgibson Posts: 702 Member
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    I know what you mean, lost 45 lbs on the fat smash diet and had gotten down in the low 160's, only to have my family giving me a hard time there as well.....and I listened to them, put back on 10 lbs and have realized it was a bad move. The only thing that I didn't like was being/feeling too cold in the wintertime compared to where I was. Now I'm still looking to lose a few lbs and/or tone up at the same time. Don't let them get in the way of your happiness or goals like I did....now it seems like I have to work twice as hard to get what I want out of it!

    If you are feeling cold a lot then do stick with it, this passes.
    It's just a signal that your body is going through a change, you will adjust to your new lower weight fully and feel fine in the winter.
  • Elokyn
    Elokyn Posts: 448 Member
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    Growing up were you heavier than you are now? I think it might just be the fact that sometimes we get used to the way people look at a certain weight. A girl at work has lost soo much weight, and was a size 14 for a long time and then went on a diet and got down to like a size 6 and we were all like "omg you need to eat you're too small" But then when I look and learn more about it she was actually at a "healthy weight" I'm not trying to stick up for them and I think you look AMAZING! (great job!). Just sometimes people (including me) don't think that it can be offensive to say "you're too skinny". I'll tell you honestly part of me was jealous when my co worker lost all that weight even though I was saying what I did.
    IDK if that's helpful or not but there's my two cents :)
  • sblim
    sblim Posts: 99
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    The last time I dropped a lot of weight and went through the same thing. I was eating healthy and doing triathlons. Anyone that knew me, especially my family, said the same things to me about being too skinny and it just got really old.. If I met someone new (especially a girl), they would say the complete opposite (nice body, etc).

    I came to the conclusion that it is probably more a reflection of them and not you/us. If you are taking care of yourself, then I assume most of the people telling you this are overweight and not in shape, and quite honestly, I think the one thing that most people who are not actively trying to improve themselves hate (or will try to negatively impact) is someone that is. It is that old adage about misery loves company and nobody wants to be the only fat one.

    It is quite easy, tell them you would like to analyze your activities and nutrition with them but only if they sit down to analyze theirs with you. It will never happen.
  • gailosborne
    gailosborne Posts: 435
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    I get this too.

    I always ask people who say that to me what they would think if they had just seen me walking down the street for the first time - they always say that they wouldn't think I was too thin.I think it is more to do with people relating to the change in us - even if they love us, they are not always comfortable with us becoming different. The thing I hated most on the way 'down' and which offended/upset me more than anything was the: "Don't lose too much - you won't be you anymore."
  • jdavis193
    jdavis193 Posts: 972 Member
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    I love my friends and family but sometimes they can be really annoying :explode:

    I've lost 45lb and up until 10lb ago they have all been supportive and congratulated me. Now they are "concerned" that I am looking too thin and need to put weight back on. They think that I'm not eating anywhere near enough. This would be OK if my ribs were showing through and I looked gaunt but seriously check my profile for pics taken last week. Does that look too thin and gaunt?

    Every week it's "You've lost a LOT more weight" and "you're not eating anywhere near enough!".... aaarrrghhh! - I would be SERIOUSLY impressed if they really could notice a 1/2lb loss over a week! (I know I can't and I'm the one looking in the mirror)

    I am very happy with my current weight and I think I look pretty healthy...so why do they all keep saying a I need to put more weight on :sad:

    Congrats!!! My family won't say anything about my weight loss only that I am obsessed. I had a baby a year ago went from a size 7 to a 3... I am now getting that I am to thin... If you are happy where you are stay there. Ignore them
  • SassyMissDasha
    SassyMissDasha Posts: 614
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    Ohhhh I would give anything for my family to say that I don't need to lose anymore weight!! I understand how that can be annoying though. I agree though we are doing this for us .. not them. So it's only up to how you feel about you.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    You look great and you really shouldn't worry about what they say. My grandma said my dad was looking "way too thin" when I thought he could have lost a good 80 lbs more... people see everyone else differently than you see yourself - if that makes any sense at all. You know you're doing this healthfully and if you weren't, someone on here would most likely tell you, so don't sweat it!!

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