Boyfriend who just doesn't get it....

Why does he have to eat the same foods if he's in shape?

I have never understood why some people NEED to feel supported by their SO when it comes to dieting. It seems to me that if someone wanted to eat a certain way, they could just do it and let others eat however THEY wanted. It certainly doesn't mean they don't support the dieter. It just means they have DIFFERENT eating habits.

My advice...respect him enough to allow him to eat however he wants. Then, eat how you want and don't give it another thought.

Good luck!

Pay attention to what is going into your own mouth, not what is going into his.

My husband is the same way. He could stand to lose a few, but he's not interested in dieting, and he needs a lot of calories for the heavy work he does as a plumber. He eats what I prepare but supplements with extra cheese or chips or a sandwich, sometimes a candy bar after dinner. It used to infuriate me; I wanted him to be in solidarity with me. That's kind of crazy; we have different needs and goals. So now I do my best to not pay attention to his plate, even to the point of going to a different room to do something else.

Sounds like he is trying to sabotage you. The best defense is a strong offense.

Start sneaking extra sugar and fat into his diet without his knowledge

My advice...respect him enough to allow him to eat however he wants. Then, eat how you want and don't give it another thought.

Good luck!

I agree . My SO wanted nothing to do with my lifestyle change - and he is our family cook...So, I had to learn to portion stuff out, sometimes eat something different than what he prepared, and ignore the sometimes snarky comments about how I only ever tak about calories anymore.

I didn't let it get me down or distract me. I guess it even motivated me more. Now, 2 years later, SO has rid himself of full sugar sodas and calls out ingredients to me when he is cooking so I can add a recipe to my diary. He is also watching serving size (which NEVER happened before - he would always serve food like I was sumo wrestler. lol)

I guess what I am saying is, hang in there and do this for you. If he is meant to support you, he will in time. If not, don't hold a grudge because as you said, he doesn't need to lose weight.

If I could just get my wife to stop putting margarine in every pot of vegetables she makes...my house is full of junk food whick makes it harder to stay on track but I emptied a shelf in the pantry for my foods.

Well he doesn't ever want to cook. So he eats what I make for dinner, same goes for son. If he want's something else, he can cook.

As for breakfast and lunch he is on his own. He eats on campus for lunch occasionally but I buy most the groceries too and I tend to buy healthy, he just eats bigger portions.

Last night I made Hawaiian Turkey burgers and sweet potato fries. He didn't put the pineapple or teriyaki on his and ate 2 burgers instead of one. It works for us.

It used to infuriate me; I wanted him to be in solidarity with me. That's kind of crazy; we have different needs and goals.

Yes, between the fact that he is male, struggling to maintain, younger and working out as much, my man's calorie needs are more than double my own. If I come home to find him 3/4 of the way through a bag of Cheetos, well, those are his Cheetos, not mine.

My boyfriend eats what he wants. I sometimes cook for him , sometimes healthy food , sometimes meatloafs and stuff. But I wouldnt dream of forcing him to eat what I am eating, cos its me whos dieting. He is healthy and fit without restricting what he eats, so why should he be forced to eat my "rabbit food" as he calls it. I dont even get affected if we go out to eat with friends and he devours pizzas and such. By now he knows I want salad and he'll probably have to finish it . We don't make a deal or require special treatment due to different eating habbits and try to respect eachothers in that.

The fact that the sucker wants me to stay how I am or best put 2-3kg on is sorta the point where I am bit upset with lack of support. If he wants D+ boobage he will have to sponsor boob job -.-

My husband doesn't think I need to lose weight but he supports my decision to do so. He admires my diligence and tries to create meals (on the days he cooks) that I can eat on my diet and fit within my macros. I have been on this road since the beginning of January and he's mentioned more than once that perhaps he should join me. (He is at least 50 pounds overweight and it's all in his belly. It makes him breathe heavy with the slightest exhertion.) It's all good!

You're the cook right? Do what benefits you. If he's really hungry he'll get on board

Has anyone else struggled with getting support from their significant other while trying to lose weight? I swear he just doesn't understand because he has always been in shape, but it makes it more difficult for me to stay focused!!!! It's hard to come home and continue to eat healthy when he doesn't want to eat the same foods. What works? Any suggestions?

If hes already in shape he probably just doesnt see the need to change his diet. I wouldnt think of it as him not supporting you. My fiance is also in shape and will still bring home fatty foods, but thats what he likes to eat so I wouldnt want to force any type of "diet" food on him if he doesnt want it. Maybe try making regular foods that he likes to eat and just put a healthy spin to it. I recently made a crustless pizza and my fiance made his own regular pizza, we didnt eat the same food but it was fun to be in the kitchen together with him encouraging me to make healthier choices than him. There wil be tempation for you to eat junk food no matter where you go, its just about be strong and determined to reach your goal. Im sure he supports you, he just doesnt want to go on a diet.. Good Luck

Same thing happened with me! My SO didnt want ANY part of my eating habit changes at first. So I started making my own meals, shopping for my own snacks, portioning his meals, ect. ect...Now he's starting to watch what he eats and is trying to cook healthier meals when he does cook for us. I feel like if you force it on people they will never come around to supporting you. Let him eat his own foods and concentrate on yourself, you did say he was in shape so he probably doesn't need to be eating the same things you do.

Try to come up with compromises. I agree that he doesn't need to get rid of his food - that's just not fair to him. It sucks that it's a temptation for you but you need to find a way to make that work. Think of things in the long term. There will always be chips, cookies, etc in the world to tempt you - how can you find a way to resist them or what healthier alternatives could you have instead.

For instance, my Hubby loves movie theater butter popcorn, the stuff that's just coated in buttery topping. So when he wants that, I pop my own 100 calorie snack size bag of light butter popcorn and we're both happy. For another example, Hubs would love to get a large loaded pizza every time we call Dominos but that's just crazy calories and/or I'd have to limit myself to a slice or two at most. Instead I prefer for us to each get our own medium pizza. I get veggie toppings on thin crust and he can still have his loaded or double pepperoni or whatever and we're both happy.

If you cook, say you're making spaghetti - add veggies to your sauce, use leaner meats, cut down on the amount of pasta. I do things like this all the time and Hubs rarely notices the difference. And for things that are harder to substitute, just watch your portion sizes. Take more veggie and less potato or rice. You can make it work, it just takes a little time and patience. And maybe even help him understand by explaining it to him... Don't expect him to go without though, that's not playing fair.

Well you should be in the kitchen anyways making the food. Just kidding....

See, like this guy, men are sometimes neanderthalistic. Think for yourself and do for yourself without the need of his approval. Your man should be serving your desires, not your needs. You have a brain, use it.