Would This Violate Girl Code?

Hypothetically:

You are talking to a guy who you really like, but are worried that it may violate "girl code." This guy used to date a girl you are acquainted with. The girl is good friends with your sister, but she is not your friend and you don't talk. However, you met the guy when THEY were dating so you don't want to step on her toes seeing as she is close to a family member. Would you call it off in the name of girl code, or just do what you want seeing as she isn't your friend?

Thanks.

Replies

millions0fpeaches

The first rule of "girl code" is you never talk about the girl code! :$

Also, if someone says "stop" or goes limp, it's over.

Jacwhite22

no. Thats fair game. go get him.

MyChocolateDiet

Hypothetically:

You are talking to a guy who you really like, but are worried that it may violate "girl code." This guy used to date a girl you are acquainted with. The girl is good friends with your sister, but she is not your friend and you don't talk. However, you met the guy when THEY were dating so you don't want to step on her toes seeing as she is close to a family member. Would you call it off in the name of girl code, or just do what you want seeing as she isn't your friend?

Thanks.

I'm a straight up kind of person and I would go straight up to her and ask her what she thinks. Mostly because it's your sisters friend and if there's any stuff between them as a result it will get on you. I've done this straight up approach before more than once, and the first time I got my ex out of it and that relationship was great and her friendship we worked together and had mutual friends my best friend was her new beau's sister. The second time was my current hubby. First case the girl said, well clearly he's not into me so I don't see why not, second case was a case of mutual disinterest and her actually feeling he was better suited for me since I was his most ardent cheerleader during their "trial period" while she had other guys in her rotation. She and I were right, he is very well suited for me.

calibriintx

Girl code doesn't apply if you're not friends and you didn't home-wreck. Enjoy him!

fmebear

Would it affect your relationship with your sister? That would be the only thing I'd take into consideration.

bingo.

^^^this and if she is okay - then go for it. besides, it seems to be his is interested in you.

sobriquet84

if this dude and this chick only recently broke up and your sister may be dealing with a grieving friend, i would evaluate things. you don't want to create a situation for your sister or have it effect your relationship with your sister.

but if its old news and/or your sister doesn't care, then go for it.

Jribeiro86

Yeah, if she’s not your friend, it’s a no-brainer in my opinion… As long as your sister’s relationship with this girl isn’t collateral damage.

marthathebear

All is fair in love and war!

DontStopB_Leakin

The only time girl code would apply in this situation is if he was her ex HUSBAND.

Get it. And if she goes and whines to your sister about it, tell her to put her big girl panties on and come directly to you.

Fed_up

Even if she WERE your friend, you aren't in high school anymore!

She isn't currently seeing him, then it is all fair play.

etoiles_argentees

Why not ask the person that might be bothered by it?

LuckyLeprechaun

How long did they date? How did it end? If it was short and an amicable split, then there's little danger in you pursuing him. But if they lived together, if there was major fireworks when they ended things, if there is blood in the water, stay out of it!

Unless you *really* think he is THE ONE. Then do whatever you have to do to make it work and disregard all else.

sunsnstatheart

There is a girl code? I thought it was every chick for herself?

^^ This.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

it would only be breaking girl code if it was your friend or your sister, but not your sisters friend.

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Not my friend, not my issue. However, what would be my issue is if it had any impact on my sister's life. I'd ask my sister.

murphy612

As long as you don't run in to each other at recess, it's okay.

My thoughts exactly :laugh:

Jaulen

Fair game.

Not an ex of a best friend or your sister.
And even then it would be okay based on how long ago the break-up was. But beware of the long relationships that were, or messy break-ups.

CorvusCorax77

i am genetically intersex, so I have no idea.

MrsK20141004

Hit it and see how everyone reacts...

Ha! Agree.

dodihere

No, he is up for grabs.

4x4play

This guy *used* to date a girl you are acquainted with.
she is *not your friend* and you don't talk.

I fail to see the problem here. Go hit that *kitten*.

hence the reason why I love you!

lovelyMYlovely

depends

1- how long were they dating??? anything over 1 year would probably make her feel pretty emotionally sad...

2- how well do you know her. if you hung out with her or went out to lunch together it may be an issue.

how much do you like him? if they broke up it usually means that he isnt that great.. also if he KNOWS that you know her he may be using you to make her jealous.. (believe me guys do this all the time even if you dont want to believe it) so just be careful if you answer back i can give u a good answer... because there is not much to go by here...

redheaddee

Screw "girl code". They broke up for a reason and he is fair game. If she gets butthurt that is her problem not yours.

Damn women and these stupid rules. That's why my best friends are men.

metaphoria

I'd personally make the decision on how well you and he connect. Is he kind to customer service people? That is a big tell. How does he treat his mother? When he and the other gal broke up, was he talking crap about her?

If you like him as a person and you think it has long term potential, go for it. Don't risk putting your sister in a bad position over a casual fling.

BeingAwesome247

The only time girl code would apply in this situation is if he was her ex HUSBAND.

Get it. And if she goes and whines to your sister about it, tell her to put her big girl panties on and come directly to you.

Exactly!!

And I personally have two different friends that I'm friends with because of a guy.
One was his ex girlfriend - same group of mutual friends and I thought she was great
The other dated a guy I had a fling with long before she came around...she knows that him & I fooled around and didn't care and now they're broken up and her and I are still friends

Rum_Runner

Nope - carry on!!

cmriverside

No one has asked the important questions:

1. Is he married?
2. Does he have a job?
3. Does he have his own place, or live with Mom?
4. Does he have a car?
5. Is he an addict?

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Screw "girl code". They broke up for a reason and he is fair game. If she gets butthurt that is her problem not yours.

Damn women and these stupid rules. That's why my best friends are men.

^^This

MG_Fit

I'd say go for it...too far removed.

misskerouac

i'd say it's fair game

HOWEVER

if it's going to concern you
simply ask your sisters friend if it would bother her.