Middle School Girls VS Valentines Day

akaMrsmojo
akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
in Chit-Chat
My daughter came home crying hysterically. No one got her a card, candy or anything. Everyone else seem to give someone else something. According the her, even the most disliked kid in school.

I remember going through the same thing.

I swear they should eliminate Valentines Day celebration from middle schools. How do you explain to a 13 year old girl that people can just be thoughtless.

The cafeteria even burned her heart-shaped sugar cookie.
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Replies

  • olsondre
    olsondre Posts: 198 Member
    You could turn into a valuable life lesson
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I thought in younger classes that if kids were giving out valentines, they were supposed to do it for the entire class?
  • 0atmeal_queen
    0atmeal_queen Posts: 34
    Tell her to get over it because valentines day is stupid
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    I thought in younger classes that if kids were giving out valentines, they were supposed to do it for the entire class?

    ^Yeah, this.
  • originalkazila
    originalkazila Posts: 200
    Middle school is just miserable. I remember having the same feelings.

    Do something special for her, mom can be your valentine too! She might not get it now but she'll get it later. :) My mom used to make cookies for us and cut our carrots into hearts for Valentines day. It was the best.
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
    Time to start educating her on life
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
    I thought in younger classes that if kids were giving out valentines, they were supposed to do it for the entire class?

    She is in 8th grade, they did. Everyone but her.
  • originalkazila
    originalkazila Posts: 200
    I thought in younger classes that if kids were giving out valentines, they were supposed to do it for the entire class?

    ^Yeah, this.

    My middle school wasn't like this. It was just free for all.
  • njean888
    njean888 Posts: 399 Member
    That is really unfortunate, but a wonderful life lesson. Just try to do something special with her now that she is home.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    Aww I went through the same stuff in school also from 5th grade until 10th :( I've had lots of valentine's since then ;) Do something cute and special for her tonight to cheer her up. She'll get over it.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Tell her to get over it because valentines day is stupid

    :huh:
  • Minerva624
    Minerva624 Posts: 577 Member
    The same thing happened to me through all my years of middle school and high school. But hey, it kind of teaches her to love herself more and to know that she doesn't need others to feel good about herself.
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
    I was afraid of it, so I gave her chocolate and stuffed alligator this morning. She has only been at this school for 3 months, but I was hoping someone would do something for her.

    I promised her I would take her to the mall this weekend.
  • skmolove
    skmolove Posts: 191 Member
    so I read this to my 13 year old daughter and this is her comment...
    'so what if you don't have a valentine for valentin's day, some kids don't have a mother for mother's day or a father for father's day'
    :huh: hummm that's a different perspective
  • brendaj39
    brendaj39 Posts: 375 Member
    I hate to say this but just because someone has a bad day regarding Valentines Day or any other day does not mean we should eliminate it. I'm sorry, But Life isn't always what you want it to be. I never got a Valentines after elementary school and I survived...I'm 40 and still happy and full of love... I'm sure she will live! sorry if this sounds heartless but we can't all live in a bubble can we???
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I think we all went through this one way or the other. It builds character. What else will you eliminate, kids who don't invite her to their slumber parties. Because it will happen.
  • ModoVincere
    ModoVincere Posts: 530 Member
    Tell her to get over it because valentines day is stupid

    explain to her how Valentine's Day is a scam, perpetuated and thrust upon the public by a) Candy makers, b) Jewelry hawkers, c) card companies, and d) flower sellers.

    How what it really does is bilk the public for millions of dollars. That those millions of dollars would be better used to invest in college funds for the kids, to pay down mortgages, or even applied towards medical bills.
  • JMPerlin
    JMPerlin Posts: 287 Member
    So Sorry to hear that. I am surprised that in this overly PC world in which we live in at:

    1). The teacher didn't inform everyone to be inclusive.

    or

    2). The principal/teacher/or school board did outlaw the day already.

    Again I am sorry for your girl.
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
    so I read this to my 13 year old daughter and this is her comment...
    'so what if you don't have a valentine for valentin's day, some kids don't have a mother for mother's day or a father for father's day'
    :huh: hummm that's a different perspective

    I like that a lot. I may bring it up later.
  • brendaj39
    brendaj39 Posts: 375 Member
    so I read this to my 13 year old daughter and this is her comment...
    'so what if you don't have a valentine for valentin's day, some kids don't have a mother for mother's day or a father for father's day'
    :huh: hummm that's a different perspective



    Like this!!!
  • lilredkaty
    lilredkaty Posts: 10
    Hey! Believe me I went through the same thing as a kid. I never dressed the same way as everyone else, didn't like the same music, all of that. I didn't get a valentines. but you know what I did? I just smiled, and shrugged. Went home, went out to dinner with my mom, and had an AMAZING day. That's an idea, take her out and show her that not EVERYONE is thoughtless.
    Tell her it happens..Life sucks..and sometime people are mean. But tell her NOT to let it get her down! I still dress, and listen to music other people don't like, or find weird. But I have gained some of the most AMAZING friends because of it! Tell her to move on and don't let it get her down! I do agree with you though, valentines day isn't even really needed in middle school! Just try and show her that valentines day isn't all about getting cards from other people, but it's also a time to spend with family[:

    Hope I helped!
    Katy.
  • akaMrsmojo
    akaMrsmojo Posts: 762 Member
    Eliminate is harsh terminology but watching my daughter cry for an hour strokes the mommy rage.
  • UnoDrea3732
    UnoDrea3732 Posts: 342 Member
    Ehhh...I don't recall getting anything for Valentine's Day ever in middle school or highschool for that matter. My parents always got me something so I didn't care if I got anything for anyone else. Believe that I stopped the V-Day card giving in Elementary.

    Explain to her that this is just a moment and tomorrow will be better. Then take her out for Valentine's Day! My Valentine this year was my daughter (she's 3) and she reminded me every couple of minutes, in the 2 hours we have together this morning, that she loved me.
  • tj1376
    tj1376 Posts: 1,402 Member
    so I read this to my 13 year old daughter and this is her comment...
    'so what if you don't have a valentine for valentin's day, some kids don't have a mother for mother's day or a father for father's day'
    :huh: hummm that's a different perspective

    Very insightful :flowerforyou:
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Life is not fair. It's a good opportunity to help her learn about this, how things suck and sometimes she will be the one standing out when other's get nothing.

    Could it be that since she is new no one was comfortable giving her something? Schools shouldn't ban Valentine's day just because your kid didn't get one....
  • subconscious_ink
    subconscious_ink Posts: 194 Member
    I thought in younger classes that if kids were giving out valentines, they were supposed to do it for the entire class?

    For us that ended at 5th grade.

    And if she's only been at the school for three months, she probably doesn't know anyone well enough that they would think to get her anything, or would really know what to get her. Just tell her to give it time, try to put herself out there and get to know people. Middle school is hard, and it's even harder to be the "new girl" :ohwell:
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    It happens....but I wouldn't eliminate things based on it. You said it yourself she's only been at this school for 3 months...have you spent the past two weeks preparing her for this outcome since you dreaded it? Reminding her that she's new and that can intimidate people....

    that at their age, everyone is uncomfortable in their own skin and find it difficult to approach new situations (and people)....

    because if it had been my child, I would have been preparing her for the potential butt hurt I would see on the looming horizon rather than blame the school for not outlawing a holiday many many people enjoy and love.

    you can't kill something that pleases many for the misery of one, and it is a life lesson. it really is.
  • panano
    panano Posts: 62 Member
    From going through, and surviving middle school as the really nerdy/chubby girl, and coming out fine without any valentines - She will be fine. High school will not be any better, it's good she's learning now.
    Though why in 8th grade and at 13, that's something to cry about, I don't know. She's still young, and the only valentine I ever cared about at that age was from my daddy.
    ALTHOUGH I think if they're going to have valentines day parties, they should make it a general rule everyone gets one. When I was in the younger grades, we had a paper bag that we put our names on, then everyone would drop their valentines in each other's bags...
  • _AllieCat_
    _AllieCat_ Posts: 515 Member
    so I read this to my 13 year old daughter and this is her comment...
    'so what if you don't have a valentine for valentin's day, some kids don't have a mother for mother's day or a father for father's day'
    :huh: hummm that's a different perspective

    What a wonderful response!
  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
    I thought in younger classes that if kids were giving out valentines, they were supposed to do it for the entire class?

    They do that for Elementary school not for Middle School. OP I know what your daughter is going through. The same thing always happened to me in middle school. My kids never seemed to have that problem only me.

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