Pregnancy weight gain.......some are gaining too much

What was your pregnancy like? Oh wait you're a bloke! Are you a midwife, doctor or gyno? No? Then why are you dictating what these women should do? You come across as judgemental because you can't relate to the situation and if you can't relate then keep your opinion of these women to yourself. They are carrying a life inside of them, is that not enough pressure for them? Not all women will be yummy mummys and they don't have to be.
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LOL I was trying to be diplomatic and nice, but I knew this wasnt going to end well. The minute you bash a pregnant woman the other women will come out of the wood work and rip you to shreds. We dont take kindkly when a pregnant or recently pregnant woman is being criticised. We might be in different continents but we protect our pregnant sisters.

Many, many pregnant women do gain too much while pregnant. My doctors have talked about it, medical journals talk about it, pregnancy websites talk about it.

But a man with a wife and kids who trains women wanting to lose baby weight can't talk about it because "it's none of his business..." Being perceived as harsh in his wording doesn't make his observation any less true.

I didn't just gain with my first, I ate all the foods and called it "craving" and ballooned out of control. Ended up with an assortment of pregnancy complications and had her early. I really wish someone had been a little harsher with me about how much weight I was gaining because I might have put the brakes on.

There are so many excuses to get obese while pregnant, and I made them all. It wasn't my first time getting that fat in life and one would have thought that I would have known that eating all the foods would have made me big, but because it was pregnancy, I thought it was just fine. Took 4 years to take it off.

I would think the pregnant ladies on this site are trying to have a healthy weight gain during pregnancy hence the reason for being on this site, and want to nourish their child in the most healhful of ways. 300kcals additional especially during second and third trimester is the current recommendation.

Might also be that some of these heavy ladies had actually been heavy prepregnancy and only gained the 11-25lb recommendation for overweight or obese preprego BMI. I suspect you wouldnt really know what their actual weight gain was compared to their starting pre-pregnancy weight. I guess if you had seen me in that OB room you would have judge me "as eating for two" even though I was very conscious during my pregnancy about the weight that would be safe for me to gain and the nutrients I needed to create a healthy baby.

You're right. I'm speculating that the weight gain happened due to pregnancy probably because most doctors don't recommend that females BMI's be too high before getting pregnant. And take solace that I'm not "judging" any of them, it's just what I observed and made an assumption on. Being in the fitness industry, being judgy of overweight/obese people would spell failure as a career since they are the ones who usually need our help.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Just an observation about your observation. :P Yes doctors recommend not getting pregnant while overweight, but that doesn't mean people listen.

I have a lot of health problems (lupus for starters) so my husband and I have been working for 2 years to get healthy enough to get pregnant. But when I told my doctor what we were doing he was really surprised. He said generally people get pregnant first, then ask the doctor what he/she thinks.

I do think your post is right on in terms of what pregnant women should strive for (not eating for two, only eating 300 more calories than normal) but I don't see this going well because you're a man. Good luck :flowerforyou:

I don't know why people are in such a huffy. It is an increasing trend in our society that being a mom entitles you to be okay with letting yourself go. I gained 45lbs with my first pregnancy put me at 160. My son was an April baby. I never managed to lose all the weight breast feeding. I had a c-section so I had that factored in as well. I was over dieting, trying to BF and only very slowly losing my weight got down to about 140 6 months post which was October. Wound up unexpectedly pregnant that month (October), didn't even realize it for almost 4 months into my pregnancy as I was very slowly losing weight. Had dropped down to 135 by the time I went to the doctor and found out I was almost 16 weeks pregnant (Jan)! Doc was forcing me on a specific diet to stop the continual weight loss. Come my third trimester I blew up and when I was due finally in August I had my daughter at almost 190lbs!!!

I once again tried crash dieting (talking 800 calories on average if even some days) after having my daughter, shes going to be 4 this year. I have been a creature of habit same types of food really generic simple meals and when I first started logging I was shocked to see I really only ate that much, granted I skipped breakfast and lunch pretty much daily, and usually got by with a snack and balanced dinner. Within the last year have I decided I am done with that after finding this place and realizing that I was overdoing it. At first I lost weight down to about 155 then it started to climb back up after the first year and all I have been able to do is maintain at about 175-180 for the past two years. Had a doctor once tell me after logging food for two weeks to bring in religiously when I was concerned because my weight had started going back up that there was no way I was that fat and only eating that little. But I swear to it I literally wrote everything in that journal and kept it on my person at all times those two weeks and was diligent about it.

I wish I had the advice you can get here back then, now I have to undo all kinds of trouble I probably could have avoided.

A lot of women are already overweight when they get pregnant.

I also know a few who gained a lot due to preeclampsia. Unless you know these women personally and their individual health and weight histories, you're just making assumptions.

Don't think OP is trying to be a jerk, and I don't think he's bad trying to spread this information.

Take it from somebody who stupidly gained 60lbs with a pregnancy.

Actually, women that are underweight or are carrying multiples have to gain more, just saying. I think the standard is 40 lbs.

Yes!
When I was pregnant with my son I was on the border of being underweight. I only gained 25lbs and I got evil looks from the other moms...it was said that I wasn't gaining because I'm a hardgainer, but because I was anorexic. The doc wanted me to gain 30lbs ideally. I tried though....I really did.

Well, I don't think there is a simple answer to this. Yes, some women gain too much because they go way overboard on intake. Some people don't know better. Some people, it just happens.

For my first pregnancy, I was on a restricted diet through my entire pregnancy. My average daily intake was about 1700 calories a day, well under my maintenance calories. I also had light daily exercise. At the end of my first trimester, I had lost 15 pounds, mainly from being sick. By the end of my pregnancy, I was up a total of 65 pounds. I lost it all within a month, without trying.

My second pregnancy, I gained 45 pounds, much more steadily through my pregnancy, without counting calories, but still had light daily exercise. I lost it all within 6 weeks.

We'll see what happens this pregnancy.

My mom gained a lot with her pregnancies too, and it came off very quickly. My mom is not one to just go and eat a lot of food for any reason. She gained almost 100 with me and went back down to her normal weight within a few months as well.

Totally see the OP's point and I don't think it's judging. We're becoming obese as a nation and it's reaching into every aspect of life. My kids are in their 30's now and when they were born it wasn't normal at all to gain huge amounts of weight and then complain about "baby weight" for years after. Most of the people I knew gained a moderate amount and were back into their normal clothing by their 6 week check up. I remember being so excited at 6 weeks to be able to put my pre- pregnancy jeans on and have them zip.

I'll throw another hot topic out there too. I think it's ridiculous the lengths that fertility clinics go to so that grossly obese women can have children. If your only issue with becoming pregnant is that fact that you can't get a grip on your weight then maybe infertility is nature's way of telling your there's a problem. Our neighbor is morbidly obese and did 2 years of fertility treatments to become pregnant with a high risk pregnancy. She's even bigger now and has trouble caring for the infant because of her size. Somehow none of that makes any sense to me.

OMG. There is so much I want to say about the clucking of "HE HAS NOT RIGHT!!! BLAH BLAH BLAH"

Would you please quit being so *****y and just read his thread and move on? He has very valid points about the health of pregnant mothers that I think a lot of women need to hear. Pre-E, prematurity, Gestational Diabetes, birth complications, maternal complications...all that can be a direct result of eating ****ty. More and more women are being induced and having c sections. Usually on the basis of "something wrong". Its wrong and unnecessary.

and I should stop now before I get into my birth rant. :grumble:

I gained 25lbs with my first two pregnancies, got back down to pre-PG withing a year with both, then lost an extra 20lbs after the second. Then got pregnant again and gained 45 pounds ending up at the same weight for all of them even though I started lighter the third time. I didn't do anything that different. I blame him because he was the only male .

Actually I wonder if it has something to do with the whole "set weight" theory and that my body really just wanted to be 165 since I hadn't given it much time at 145.

Why can't he have an opinion? I don't think he is being a jerk, he has a very valid point.

Yes to be fair, some women balloon up before and/or after birth because of water retention and swelling, but that doesn't make you obese.

Some pregnant women are full of excuses and eat their faces off while justifying "eating for two", then wonder why the fat is still there when the baby is born. The worst are the ones who talk about how they are going on a diet once the baby is born. WHY!? Unless you have a medical reason, there is no sense waiting until the baby is born to eat well and do moderate activity. You should be taking the absolute best care of yourself while pregnant, not after.

I agree. Give the GUY a break. I think he was making a GENERAL observation and knows it wouldn't apply to EVERY situation. Just to share my personal experience....I was working as an OB nurse at a hospital when I became pregnant (twice), so I had been working with my OB Dr. before I started seeing him for prenatal checks. I don't know if he said this to all patients, but I think (hope) he counseled every woman in a way specific to their situation....He told me that I should try not to gain over 30 pounds, or else anything above that would be extra weight I'd have to lose in the end. At first I felt kind of embarrassed or insulted or something by his telling me this, but I did take his advice to heart, partly because I didn't want to look like I couldn't do it. After all, I would eventually be having to work alongside this guy again. Anyway, first pregnancy - 30 lbs and second - 28 lbs. Gotta tell you, with some of the cravings I had, I would have gained MUCH more had he not talked to me about this. Consider that it's probably not always comfortable for Drs. to talk to people about weight issues in general, especially with women, as we tend to get our feelings hurt easily. I'm glad he told me like it was. That was caring for me in a much better way than tiptoeing around my feelings.

I would agree with you, but I think his posts came off as very condescending and judgemental. In his first post he pretty much said that pregnant women don't have any self control and to get some and then in his second, after someone pointed out that he didn't know if they were overweight before pregnancy or not, he pretty much said that overweight/obese individuals shouldn't get pregnant.

Well, being as that 2/3rds of Americans are overweight or obese, then 2/3rds of the women who you see in a pediatrician's office were probably overweight or obese when they got pregnant. There's really no way to know if they went hog wild or not just by looking at them, and they have every right to have children no matter what their size. Yes, there are risks assosicated with being overweight or obese when you get pregnant, just like there are risks associated with being underweight or an older mother or even having an older father. We have no right to tell any person that they shouldn't have children simply because of their weight.

Honestly, I was pregnant with my first kid 7 years ago and pregnant with my 2nd 2 years ago. During both pregnancies I got literature on having a healthy pregnancy and my doctor kept me educated along the way and I stayed very healthy and active. I was obese when I got pregnant with my first and gained 12 lbs up to week 32, then put on 3-5 lbs a week the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy. I ended up gaining 45 lbs total. I didn't breastfeed and 3 months post partum I was down 60 lbs. I walked miles every day and the day before giving birth I hiked a 4 mile trail. I gained all that weight back and was at an all time high when I got pregnant with DD2. Due to a low grade morning sickness lasting my whole pregnancy, I lost 10 lbs during my pregnancy.

Maybe women do need to be better educated, but for a person saying that they're "not judging" they sure sound very judgmental. This whole post could have gone so much better if OP had instead made a comment that women need to be better educated about having a healthy pregnancy instead of implying that most women use pregnancy as an excuse to gorge themselves and balloon up to be overweight/obese AND saying that overweight/obese women shouldn't be getting pregnant for "health reasons".

Here's why excessive weight gain in pregnancy is a valid concern for ALL.

Babies are growing too big and needing caesarians to be removed.

We could not have thrived as a species if this was normal.

I used to work in a big office. 6 women were pregnant, 5 had caesarians.

It is not the only reason caesarians are more common(pain killers are a big reason too), but it is one reason.

Actually, over time, populations heights and sizes have grown, which in general means that the sizes of babies has grown. Men are about 2" taller on average than they were 100 years ago and women even more so. My first DD was 10lb5oz and born at 41 weeks and ended up be c-section because her head was over 15" around, nothing to do with her weight. Maternal fatness or thinness really has no bearing on the circumference of a baby's head. Rather, it has more to do with genetics. My DH and I are both "larger framed" people and have proportionately large heads. My 10 lb "oversized" newborn is now a 62 lb "oversized" 6 year old who is 52" tall - about 4 years ahead of the growth curve on height and 3 years ahead on weight. She actually weighs less than the average 52" tall average 10 year old but is still "big'.

Our species would have survived just fine without c-sections as "survival of the fittest" would be in play. The people built for bearing children would continue bearing children and pass on their "good" genese and those not built for it would probably die in child birth, thus eliminating the "weak" ones.

So I was at Kaiser today for my DD's standard checkup at 8 years old. While I was waiting in the lobby (DW was in with DD and doctor), I saw several mothers with new babies who were very overweight. I'm not talking 40lbs, but in the realm of 80lbs and higher.
A lot of my clientele are females who are losing baby weight, but all of them are only trying to lose 25llbs-35lbs. This should be the normal amount a female should be gaining when pregnant.

To moms to be: you aren't eating for two. Your nutrition should be much better, but realistically, calories shouldn't really exceed more than 300-350 calories per day on average. It's not a free for all to eat everything. Trust that more you gain, the harder it will be to take off and if that weight doesn't come off, then chances are HIGH that you will end up that weight the majority of your life.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member


Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

I honestly agree with you 150%!!!!! I wish someone would of told me this the first time I was pregnant! I was forced to gain weight (by my doctor) because by week 25 I only gained about 10 pounds. I ate fast food forcing myself to gain an 13 extra pounds (baby was 7.5 pounds) and guess what I never lost the extra 13. With my second I listened to my body ate very healthy and as much as i wanted. I gained 12.5 pounds and baby was an healthy 8 pounds. The weight came right off. With my third gained 13 pounds ( baby was 7.5 pounds) and the weight came right off. Still carrying around those extra 13 pounds (will 13 years this April) and determined to lose it once and for all. Now the best advice I give to my friends and family is watch what you eat and make good
choices, you are not eating for 2 adults! Extra 300-500 calories is more than enough for a healthy pregnancy.

Glad to hear I am not the only one who exploded during pregnancy. I am 5"4 and gained 65 lbs my first two pregnancies (topping out at 216 lb both times ). The first one I was literally eating for 3!(with lots of encouragement. I tried to behave but I was just so hungry. The second I blame more on bad medical care (I was eating so much bread and milk to try to cope with the heart burn ) and again I was hungry all the time. I lost most of the weight between pregnancies and with my third I just wasn't as hungry and had much better medical care. With my third I gained only 24 lb and topped out at 164 lb.

I had preeclampcia and sciatica with first two. With my third I only had sciatica in the last two months. There is definitely a reason why you should not gain too much weight during pregnancy. The problem is that a lot of people just don't understand the cravings, misery, pain and relentless hunger that a lot of women experience during pregnancy.

My youngest is 6 years old now and I have been at 115 lbs for 4 years now, but it was a hard road getting it all off and the stretch marks and loose skin are mine forever. Could I have done better if I had it all to do again?........I don't know.