Dating & dieting?

UrbanLotus
UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
in Chit-Chat
How does this work? Previously when I've been trying to lose weight, I wasn't as dedicated so I would eat whatever I wanted on dates, drink alcohol etc. But now I am really counting calories and want it to stay that way, so how do I deal with dates - as far as deciding where we go, explaining why I'm eating light/not drinking etc?

I don't want to come across as uptight or someone who can't have fun - as I'm def not any of those things :P. And please don't say just cheat/eat whatever I want, I don't want to do that.

Started thinking about this because I have a (first) date on Saturday - I agreed to meet for drinks...but I now I'm thinking, I'm not going to drink so it might be weird for him? Personally it doesn't bother me as I'm not a big drinker, am content hanging out and sipping a diet coke - but my date might think its odd. Should I just say I'm on a health kick? I also don't want to draw any attention to the fact that i need to lose weight, its embarassing to address it you know :(
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Replies

  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    Anyone? I know some of yall must have some advice! :)
  • Xelace
    Xelace Posts: 18
    I'd just go for the good old truth.
    You stated you're not a big drinker, so you should tell him that at the bare minimum...

    Good luck!
  • WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr
    WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr Posts: 2,150 Member
    I am not a drinker, especially when I am out and know I have to drive myself home and have occasionally been on call for work when I've gone on a first date. I don't explain why I am not drinking unless asked. If he asks I will simply say that I don't like to drink alcohol when I am driving later. If he doesn't understand, than this is not a person I want to be with.
  • Swissmiss
    Swissmiss Posts: 8,754 Member
    Why would your date think that not drinking is weird? Lots of people do not drink. I would just say, "I don't eat that or I don't drink that". You shouldn't have to explain your eating habits. They are your own and we each have our differences. I hope that your date turns out well.
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.
  • deniseblossoms
    deniseblossoms Posts: 373 Member
    Would you be willing to make it into an active date? Bowling? Miniature Golf? Roller Skating? Or whatever activity appeals to your sense of fun.
  • imadyer
    imadyer Posts: 145 Member
    Would you be willing to make it into an active date? Bowling? Miniature Golf? Roller Skating? Or whatever activity appeals to your sense of fun.

    I agree. Also, you can always eat light and sensibly beforehand and save up your calories.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
    Have a couple coolers, allot that into your calories, and explain to him that you're not much of a drinker.
  • strikerjb007
    strikerjb007 Posts: 443 Member
    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.

    This has NOTHING to do with being in a new relationship. That is just you.

    I am in a new relationship and I haven't gotten sidetracked at all. I stated from the first few dates that fitness and nutrition are important to me. If I feel like, I will eat pizza or a salad or whatever I decide when I am out with her. Sometimes some wine. Whatever, it's my choice and she understands that and under no circumstances that is to be argued.

    Dates that question your eating/drinking habits should be treated just like your fat co-worker who won't stop criticizing you for eating lean meats and veggies at lunch. The boot.

    Furthermore, you can't hide from food. Going out is part of social life. The OP needs to face this and control herself when she's out. IF she can't, then she may have a bigger problem than dating.

    Go out have fun, and control your eating and don't let anyone question it. You don't need to provide explanations for anything. Do you go around asking people why they stuff their face with their sandwiches?
  • Corryn78
    Corryn78 Posts: 215
    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.

    Seriously?

    Have a fantastic date. You are just as worthy of a great partner now as you will be weighing less.

    If you would like a drink to help break the ice and feel more at ease, try a rum and diet or something with club soda. It won't be that many calories. When the second round comes up, just get a diet or water. I don't think your date will even care.

    Again, enjoy. Exciting stuff :)

    ETA: I met the one for me at 33, from a dating website. I was and still am overweight, but we exercise and cook healthy together.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    Why would your date think that not drinking is weird? Lots of people do not drink. I would just say, "I don't eat that or I don't drink that". You shouldn't have to explain your eating habits. They are your own and we each have our differences. I hope that your date turns out well.

    Just because going out "for drinks", at a wine bar lol. If it was dinner or something else it would be fine
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.

    Eh, I don't really believe in putting things off in life - if I wanted to be at my ideal weight before I dated, I would have never dated anyone yet and I'm 33! I've never had a problem dating before, I just am looking for advice on how/whether to address it. I see what you're saying but its not my life philosophy at all, you know?
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    ETA: I met the one for me at 33, from a dating website. I was and still am overweight, but we exercise and cook healthy together. [\quote]

    This is great, maybe I'll be able to say the same :). Can i ask how you handled this, did you say something about dieting?

    I know I don't *owe* anyone an explanation - but I am a bit of a foodie and a wine lover, so I want to the person to know that about me and not that I'm some uptight girl who doesn't eat or enjoy a glass of wine.
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
    yes, both suck
  • fp64
    fp64 Posts: 128 Member
    Single dad here, two kids, both live with me.
    What's a date?
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    You don't need to share your "diet" with him...just eat and drink sensibly and plan ahead for the calories. Enjoy your date!
  • StaceyJ2008
    StaceyJ2008 Posts: 411 Member
    If you want to drink, then drink. There are numerous lower calorie options, just google it or search it on here.

    Also, If you do get into a "relationship" just try to limit meals out and cook more at home. Also do active things instead of always doing something where you are sitting.

    Have a great time.
  • skcardiog
    skcardiog Posts: 316 Member
    Tell your date you don t need alcohol because you are getting an ''intoxicating buzz'' just looking deep into his eyes .

    Seriously. Have fun on the date and just be yourself.
  • mgarcia843
    mgarcia843 Posts: 268
    I would just be honest, personally I would see it as a positive, it's good to take care of yourself.

    I was on a date a while ago and we went to a restaurant, got there pretty early but they had a little lounge, my date just came out and said "Don't think I'm being a snob or anything but I just started really watching what I eat so if I order small don't be mad?" And gave me a little rub on the arm.

    After that I could care less what she ordered I though that was just so genuine and charming.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    Don't explain. Have a glass of wine (90-125 cals, depending on type) and just sip it

    Have a salad with chicken. There's nothing strange about either of those things.

    If you make a big explanation, you'll be the one making it seem weird.
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
    Its gonna be weird for him you agreed to drinks, and then drink a soda.. Have 1, just workout more or take it into account for your daily limit.. I wouldn't drop all the fitness, calorie counting, etc on the first date especially if your not sure he is like that as well
  • beatleschic87
    beatleschic87 Posts: 260 Member
    Alcohol is empty calories. Period. BUT it's amazing, so I would just budget it into your daily caloric intake. That's what I do. I will allow myself a beer every now and then and it's just alloted into my budget. One drink won't exceed 200 calories unless it's super high in sugar. If you wanna have a drink, hold the carbs in your meal and substitute for veggies (no butter) and use those calories on your drink. Dating is fun and so is drinking. So cheers and good luck :drinker:
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.

    Seriously????

    With that thought process, many of us would still be single, unmarried, and waiting for our ideal selves to emerge.

    Personally, I have been married just over 9 years, and was not at my PERSONAL BEST when I met him, nor when he asked me to marry him.

    Should she just lock herself away in the house until she reaches her ideal weight?

    IMHO, if a date/potential SO/etc. can't accept who I am on the outside, even after getting to like what's on the inside first? Then why be with them?

    SMH...
  • cheerforsteelers
    cheerforsteelers Posts: 686 Member
    If you're going to a bar and you're not a big drinker then have one drink and then go with water or soda after that. If you're on a dinner date, make wise choices. You don't have to explain yourself in any fashion. If you want to have a big dinner or more than one drink then do it. It's really up to you, but don't stress too much.
  • gadget4455
    gadget4455 Posts: 22 Member
    If you feel you must drink, order one of those low calorie beers.
    http://www.low-caloriediet.com/articles/low-calorie/calorie-beer-comparison
  • mgarcia843
    mgarcia843 Posts: 268
    Or just have a glass of scotch, that's what I usually do, and it's less than 100 calories-ish
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.

    At first I thought this was a joke... Why should someone wait until they think they're perfect to be in a relationship? And why do you have to be at your ideal weight? Someone who loves you at a higher weight should love you once you've improved yourself and are happier, as well. You can go out and eat food lower in calories. Someone doesn't have to drink high calories beverages. You can still work out. Or you might be able to work out with your new SO. This advice makes it sound like one should go to work, go to the fitness center, and then eat poached chicken breasts alone until they're thin enough to find someone.
  • deannafaith89
    deannafaith89 Posts: 2
    I just started dating a new guy and it can be tough. If I know the restaurant we are going to before hand I try to plan out a low calorie meal! I also mentioned that I like to eat healthy (I didn't say I was trying to loose weight) and he responded well to it. I know to limit my portions at restaurants- It is ok not to eat the entire meal! Also, when I go out for drinks I limit myself to one and am contious about what I order and the calories in it. Doing my homework before hand is what helps me out the most!

    Good Luck!
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    Dieting and dating DO NOT go hand in hand.

    If you are looking to better yourself, I think dating would sidetrack you. Everytime I've been in a new relationship, I've always put on 5 lbs or so. This was due to eating out more, skipping the gym, and just not being in my usual routine.

    Also, if you are currently trying to lose weight, why put yourself out there right now? Why not wait until you are at your ideal weight (or close to it) to really get out there and get a partner. Presentation is extremely important and I've always felt it was best to be my absolute best before I get involved with someone else.
    So let's stop living until we get to our goal weight?
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
    If memory serves, Seagram's Honey Whiskey is only 60 calories for 1.5 oz, and over ice is nice to sip.

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