Trouble from your family about losing weight/eating healthy?

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  • susannegreen
    susannegreen Posts: 48 Member
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    My dad is my biggest problem. Like last night, my mom decided she wanted burgers for dinner. My dad pulls out the frozen ballpark burger patties and some frozen grilled chicken (not much healthier then the burger but it is a little right?). I asked if I could have one of the chicken. My dad promply told no, I can eat the burger where he can't eat a lot of beef. That would have been fine but after I cooked the burger and sit down to eat he turns to me and says if I want a second sandwich I can have a piece of chicken. When I didn't go make myself a second sandwich he turns to me and goes "I thought you wanted chicken." I didn't neeed a second sandwich so I didn't make it.

    Thanks to how little I make with work I get enough to cover bills and buy some food but not enough to last so I normally eat whatever they have for dinner. I know its their food and I should be thankful (and I am) but at the same time why wouldn't he just let me have the chicken in the first place? Why wait until you see me sit down to say something. Then get mad when I don't make a 2nd sandwich. Am I wrong?

    I also have another family member who every time he sees me work out or pick a healthier option, rolls his eyes and asks why I bother. I'm never going to lose the weight anyway.

    So do you have anyone in your family who gives you trouble? How do you deal with it?


    You are 25. BUY YOUR OWN FOOD. Problem solved.

    She didn't ask you to solve her problem, she asked "So do you have anyone in your family who gives you trouble? How do you deal with it?". Pretty sure she doesn't want your rude comments.
  • Pinkigloopyxie
    Pinkigloopyxie Posts: 231
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    I'm pretty much alone all of the time and only have a few family members, but they're supportive generally.

    Eeexcept for my grandma. 'You're so skinny already, you're wasting away!' (I am still like 50-70lbs overweight)

    Worst is she sends food home with me.... like chocolate and fatty figis sausages and stuff. Blaaaaah. And most of the time they hardly have anything in their fridge! (My grandma and uncle live together) They dont really want to change their bad food habits either. They get fast food or frozen meals a lot. They're adults and it's their own choice, though. I have no idea what my Uncle will do when my grandma passes away though. I love the guy but I think he'd either eat himself to death on junk and live in filth or just drive off of a cliff somewhere.
  • beetlejuicelover
    beetlejuicelover Posts: 37 Member
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    Wow that kind of blew up in one day..

    First I want to thank everyone who has shared advice and/or your own stories. I have read each one of these and I will be using your advice.

    As for pg3ibew, not that its any of your business but meaning you shared I guess I will too. You said you made $300 a week after taxes? That's half of what I make in a month before taxes and yes, I am looking for another job. Also I work the school year meaning summer I have no income unless I can find some kids to watch. That caused me to get some credit cards and we were stuck using them over the summer for gas and groceries for the house (I had a bit more say over what was bought then) thanks to my dad losing his job. I also pay $200 rent (not the same as $750 I know but it is 1/3 of my monthly pay) and give money to go towards electric/water/phone when I can.

    No, I don't have to pay for diapers-no kid here and I'm not a smoker (I can't even be around people that smoke-it makes me sick). A drinker (well, maybe a drink or two once a month with my friends but 90% of the time I'm not buying). Or a recreational drug user. I can truthfully save I have never done any kind of drugs before. Thanks for worrying though.
  • mactaffy84
    mactaffy84 Posts: 398 Member
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    This dude's got it right. Humans are the only species where young seem to want to hang around forever! It is a parent's job to help and guide your kids to grow up, be self-sustaining and get out! I never moved back home after I finished college, I was brought up to be able to take care of myself. When you are on your own, you decide everything for yourself. No one to blame but yourself. It isn't easy to move out on your own, and maybe you visit home and get a basket full full of groceries from mom and dad to take with you if you're lucky. I think saying you are at the mercy of your parents for food, unless you are younger than 18, is an excuse. Go shopping with them. Offer to cook some meals. Just take some control instead of crying about it. I know this sounds harsh, but sometimes a kick in the pants is more helpful than commiseration or " it will be OK". It won't be OK unless the OP does something to help herself.

    And I'm not a cranky old man. But I do believe that you. Ave to learn to rely on yourself in this world.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,867 Member
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    just make sure whatever it is fits in your calorie goal. Don't label food as good or bad. Nothing wrong with a burger...I eat burgers all of the time and I've lost 25 Lbs so far. Burger is good protein. Get your veggies and some fruit and enjoy your burger.
  • benol1
    benol1 Posts: 867 Member
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    My dad is my biggest problem. Like last night, my mom decided she wanted burgers for dinner. My dad pulls out the frozen ballpark burger patties and some frozen grilled chicken (not much healthier then the burger but it is a little right?). I asked if I could have one of the chicken. My dad promply told no, I can eat the burger where he can't eat a lot of beef. That would have been fine but after I cooked the burger and sit down to eat he turns to me and says if I want a second sandwich I can have a piece of chicken. When I didn't go make myself a second sandwich he turns to me and goes "I thought you wanted chicken." I didn't neeed a second sandwich so I didn't make it.

    Thanks to how little I make with work I get enough to cover bills and buy some food but not enough to last so I normally eat whatever they have for dinner. I know its their food and I should be thankful (and I am) but at the same time why wouldn't he just let me have the chicken in the first place? Why wait until you see me sit down to say something. Then get mad when I don't make a 2nd sandwich. Am I wrong?

    I also have another family member who every time he sees me work out or pick a healthier option, rolls his eyes and asks why I bother. I'm never going to lose the weight anyway.

    So do you have anyone in your family who gives you trouble? How do you deal with it?

    I imagine there is a valid reason why you are living at home with your parents such as unemployment. The way I would approach this is to use it as motivation to change your circumstances and find somewhere else to live (if possible).
    While you are living at home and eating the food your parents are providing you might want to have a conversation with them about why you are attempting weight loss, what it means for your health and longevity and the difficulty you have with them ignoring you or actively undermining your efforts. Tread carefully, issues surrounding diet are intensely personal and your parents may feel that if you are living under their roof and they're paying for your food, you may not have the right to pick and choose.
    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
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    This dude's got it right. Humans are the only species where young seem to want to hang around forever! It is a parent's job to help and guide your kids to grow up, be self-sustaining and get out! I never moved back home after I finished college, I was brought up to be able to take care of myself. When you are on your own, you decide everything for yourself. No one to blame but yourself. It isn't easy to move out on your own, and maybe you visit home and get a basket full full of groceries from mom and dad to take with you if you're lucky. I think saying you are at the mercy of your parents for food, unless you are younger than 18, is an excuse. Go shopping with them. Offer to cook some meals. Just take some control instead of crying about it. I know this sounds harsh, but sometimes a kick in the pants is more helpful than commiseration or " it will be OK". It won't be OK unless the OP does something to help herself.

    And I'm not a cranky old man. But I do believe that you. Ave to learn to rely on yourself in this world.

    Wow!!! Well said. Let's see if they bash you the way I have been bashed. I particularly like the use of the word EXCUSE.
  • ohenry78
    ohenry78 Posts: 228
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    The difference between their post and yours, is that theirs offered some advice. Their post was CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, while yours was just criticism, which is why everyone got all hot and bothered over your comments and not theirs.
  • TAMayorga
    TAMayorga Posts: 341 Member
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    Quite a few people have recommended that you "stick up for yourself". While I don't disagree with them, and not knowing the dynamics and history of your family, I wonder if some of your parents' resistance is defensiveness. "The way you've always fed me is 'wrong' ". Just be tactful in your comments. Make it about you and your desire to be more healthy, not about the way you were fed as a child that may have contributed to your weight. Remember, dietary guidelines and ideas have changed dramatically over the last couple of generations.
  • acouvillion77
    acouvillion77 Posts: 1 Member
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    It is hard to deal with family members like that. In November 2011, I was rushed to the hospital and found out I was a diabetic. I weighed 260 and now I am 205.My father works out every single day. If we go eat by him and I eat something sweet, he will tell me something about it. But then on the other hand, he will cook food and bring it to me and my son and get mad if I do not want it. Just ignore it. If you do not want to eat the 2 nd piece, you do not have to. You will never be able to please every one. You know what you have to do for yourself. Stay focused and motivated. It is hard.
  • mrosiebeamish
    mrosiebeamish Posts: 3
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    How can I lose weight at home subtly, my family don't agree with me trying to lose weight, and I totally understand their concern, but seeing as I'm determined to lose weight anyway, it would be much easier to do it healthily with their support. However I'm pretty sure this isn't going to happen... Any tips on how to lose weight without them noticing I'm doing it?

    Feel free to add me/message me I'd love to have more friends I can talk to on here!
  • NRSPAM
    NRSPAM Posts: 961 Member
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    That's crazy!!! I can't believe how ugly people can be. I've lost 100lb's, so trust me, you CAN do this!!! I have had my rough moments, but in all honesty, it hasn't really been that difficult. Frustrating as H#ll, yes, but doable. The slower you lose the weight, the easier it will be. Sounds like he's jealous that you're making a real effort to lose weight, probably doing a good job at it, too, and jealous because he probably can't, or won't do the same. Hold your head up, and keep moving forward! :happy: :flowerforyou:

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