RANT about the "skinny fat" body shaming on here.

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  • carrieous
    carrieous Posts: 1,024 Member
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    i cant get passed the kidney stones and heart palpitations. That is terrible! are you still drinking that stuff?
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
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    i cant get passed the kidney stones and heart palpitations. That is terrible! are you still drinking that stuff?

    No :) I now only drink water and a little tea. I rarely have fizzy drinks any more, maybe on special occasions as a treat!
  • harvo
    harvo Posts: 4,676 Member
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    I weigh 135lbs. I'm very short at 5'1. My clothes size is a 6-8 depending on the store. In my clothes, I look like a healthy woman and no one is any wiser about the fact that I have a huge health problem!

    I can't walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I'm going to vomit.

    At 18, I actually developed kidney stones because all I used to drink was pepsi, coke, and red bull. I also developed heart palpitations and had to have my heart monitored.

    Diabetes runs in my family, and my doctor has said I have a large amount of visceral and abdominal fat, and that I need to get healthier.

    However, from the outside, and with my clothes on, I look okay! Put me in a bikini, and you can see that I have a very high amount of body fat for someone my weight and height (I'm only 5'1). I am generally what is referred to as SKINNY FAT.

    I was really annoyed when I read a post on here, titled "what does skinny fat look like?" and a lot of the comments were saying how "eww" and "yuck" it was, and how skinny fat people look "okay clothes but rubbish naked", and that its "worse than being fat."

    Sure, I'm working very hard to change my skinny fat body. It's not desireable or healthy for me to be this way. But just because someone does not LOOK like they are "fat" or "obese", does NOT MEAN they don't have a problem!

    I posted my picture and my experience, and a lot of people said I have self esteem issues.

    Are you really saying that because my body is not visibly what society thinks of as "overweight", that I have mental issues instead? That I have a psychological problem or body dysmorphia? That is so discouraging, negative, and extremely annoying.

    Sorry for the rant guys -- but I think people need to STOP judging others by what they look like, and realise that health and weight issues come in all different shapes and sizes. I joined MFP for encouragement and support, and I'm sick of being told I'm "crazy" or "nuts" just because I don't weigh a few hundred pounds more. I'm sick of it being insinuated that my struggle is irrelevant just because my body looks deceivingly healthy in clothes. Everyone is on their own journey! Respect that.

    You are a beautiful girl...we tend to judge ourselves harder than others do. if you want to improve your body, by all means go for it but do not think skinny-fat is bad or that you do not have an incredible body...
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
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    You're totally right! But isn't it supposed to be a safe haven here? :wink:

    Unfortunately, no.... it's just a gathering place and a tool. One would HOPE people could exercise tolerance as well as their other muscles, but just like the real world... jerks abound. Of course with your wink, you probably already know that. LOL My sarcasm-font-reading ability is on the fritz as usual.

    LOL, you're right.


    What annoys me the most is being told I'm imagining it, or that it's all in my head. That's pretty damaging! I don't have an eating disorder or body dysmorphia or any of that. I'm just trying to get healthier, like everyone else, and we're all starting at different points!

    No one can diagnose a person as having a mental health problem based on the information you provided. Obviously anyone that says that is over reacting, just ignore that. You also got a lot of compliments and support. And sometimes we all misunderstand one another. But, people do go way overboard on here with trying to diagnose people with things (sometimes even imaginary or made of things).

    You're right.

    There's some amazingly supportive people on here, like you and the others on this thread! I know it seems like this thread is all about me, but I wanted to show that a lot of people are in a similar boat to me in that our bodies are not at their healthiest nor are they severely overweight :bigsmile:
  • niki87lewis
    niki87lewis Posts: 147 Member
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    Can you imagine the backlash if people were to go ewwwwww over someone's "normal fat" photos. Not on.
  • whitmars106
    whitmars106 Posts: 118 Member
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    You go, girl!!! :drinker:
  • calisunrise
    calisunrise Posts: 307
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    a "skinny fat" person is someone who has a very low bmi, but a high body fat percentage.
    you're not skinny fat. 135 lbs at 5'1 actually make you mildly overweight for your height.
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
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    Can you imagine the backlash if people were to go ewwwwww over someone's "normal fat" photos. Not on.

    Exactly :brokenheart:
  • jen10st
    jen10st Posts: 325 Member
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    Now that's a rant I can respect. Also good for you making the effort to be healthy. I work in healthcare and frequently have to record peoples BMI as a measure of "health" I see a lot of "obese" people like myself who are actually very fit and healthy being judged as being lazy or unfit while those at a "healthy" weight are considered fit without ever taking into account their actual health and fitness levels. Looks aren't important, its health that counts. I hope you do really well and get fit and healthy.
  • kooltray87
    kooltray87 Posts: 501 Member
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    I'm 140, 5'4'' and my stomach sticks out farther than my (D) bust which in my mind is quite fat. Yet people always tell me how I'm too thin or I don't need to change anything. Its very frustrating, so no you are not the only one going through it. You just have to learn that no one understands you struggles/issues better than you so what others have to say about it is almost negligible.
  • petiteMom289
    petiteMom289 Posts: 26
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    I don't judge others but I know how you feel. I am 4'10" and if I go above 110lbs my body has very visible fat (I am also a apple shape. My bmi is still good, but my bf is high) I know I am not "skinny fat" though because I strength training 3 times a week and cardio 1 day. I am very fit at 105lbs. I'm just struggling with getting my bf down and I know that it is due to not having a completely clean diet. It's probably about 85% clean at this point. I've been working on the "last 10lbs" since my youngest was born 2 1/2 years ago! I look okay in my clothes too but haven't worn a two piece in over six years. THIS summer will be the summer. Oh and people ALWAYS tell me "you don't need to lose weight" or something along those lines and it's very frustrating! I know what I look like under these clothes and the way my clothes feel on me and I don't like it.
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
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    I'm 140, 5'4'' and my stomach sticks out farther than my (D) bust which in my mind is quite fat. Yet people always tell me how I'm too thin or I don't need to change anything. Its very frustrating, so no you are not the only one going through it. You just have to learn that no one understands you struggles/issues better than you so what others have to say about it is almost negligible.

    I get you! It is frustrating. Even though your pics are GORGEOUS :love:
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
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    Based on your photo, I wouldn't even consider you as skinny fat. Sure, you may have "higher" amount of fat mass, but that alone does not make a person "skinny fat."

    Don't give up and get involved in activities you like, preferably moderate-to-heavy weight training along with a sensible diet so you can fine tune your body composition to a favorable spot.
  • horseplaypen
    horseplaypen Posts: 442 Member
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    The other thing that makes me a little frustrated when you post about trying to lose fat (but not necessarily weight) is when you get people saying, "wow, I would kill to be that small, you should just love yourself and be happy with the progress you've made!"

    I get that it's well-intentioned (unlike the comments you're talking about) but wanting to be healthier and fitter in a 'skinny' body is just as much of a goal as wanting to obtain said 'skinny' body to begin with!
  • MellyGibson
    MellyGibson Posts: 297 Member
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    Here's my two cents worth.

    First and foremost YOU have to be OK with the way your body looks. I used to obsess about my body image - thanks to one obese grandma and one anorexic one. One taught me to love myself and one taught me to hate myself. I've struggled with it since I was a pre-teen.

    I lost a bunch of weight cutting calories and doing lots of carbs. I got to my goal weight and was still unhappy with the way I looked and through my own disgust, gained half of the weight back. So, I started a weight-lifting program and got down to my goal weight again. I like the way I look, but STILL see room for improvement - but only when I'm nekked! People tell me all the time how I look great and that I don't need to lose any more weight - but what people don't understand is that I've gotten REALLY GOOD at picking out clothes that are flattering to my body at the weight/body fat % that it is.

    This isn't about them, it's about you. For me - more muscle definition would make me happier, which means decreasing my body fat % while increasing my lean muscle mass. For others, it might mean something different.
  • IamBorg
    IamBorg Posts: 49 Member
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    Who am I to judge your journey? I may not understand where you're coming from, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't show you the same respect that I'd hope you'd show me. Everyone has their own path. It seems like instead of judging, trivializing, minimizing, or insulting a journey beyond our understanding it is better to seek understanding or at the very least, acknowledge that each person's journey is unique.

    I haven't weighed 130-something since I was probably around 12 years old. To me, that seems like a perfectly reasonable weight. However, I recognize that someone who feels healthy at 110 would be unhappy at 130, and may actually be unhealthy at that weight. Even as I acknowledge this, I admit that I don't understand it. How could I?

    My struggles and journey are different. Not more valid, not "worse", just different. I support you in your journey to good health, whatever that may mean for you :).

    (P.S.- I do despise the term "skinny fat" because I feel like it demeans both those who overweight and those who are not overweight but do have health problems. Weight and body fat are not the only causes of any medical condition or disorder. However, if you choose to use the term, I won't judge you :). )
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
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    a "skinny fat" person is someone who has a very low bmi, but a high body fat percentage.
    you're not skinny fat. 135 lbs at 5'1 actually make you mildly overweight for your height.


    There is a lot of different opinions on what skinny fat means, so I'm happy to drop that label. Generally, my body looks thin and slender, and my dress size is pretty small. What I'm saying is that this can be deceiving and has nothing to with anyone's health.

    The second point I make is that just because someone isn't very heavy, doesn't mean their experience is any less significant :smile:
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
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    Who am I to judge your journey? I may not understand where you're coming from, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't show you the same respect that I'd hope you'd show me. Everyone has their own path. It seems like instead of judging, trivializing, minimizing, or insulting a journey beyond our understanding it is better to seek understanding or at the very least, acknowledge that each person's journey is unique.

    I haven't weighed 130-something since I was probably around 12 years old. To me, that seems like a perfectly reasonable weight. However, I recognize that someone who feels healthy at 110 would be unhappy at 130, and may actually be unhealthy at that weight. Even as I acknowledge this, I admit that I don't understand it. How could I?

    My struggles and journey are different. Not more valid, not "worse", just different. I support you in your journey to good health, whatever that may mean for you :).

    (P.S.- I do despise the term "skinny fat" because I feel like it demeans both those who overweight and those who are not overweight but do have health problems. Weight and body fat are not the only causes of any medical condition or disorder. However, if you choose to use the term, I won't judge you :). )

    You worded that amazingly, much better than i ever could have :smile: thank you...
  • lizzardsm
    lizzardsm Posts: 271 Member
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    I think you were misinterpreting what people were saying. Most were saying things like how gorgeous you looked or:

    "There is absolutely nothing wrong with your body. You are at a healthy weight, and you have a normal amount of body fat for a girl your age. Some people when using the term skinny fat, are talking about your body type, but then when an actual person posts a pic of themselves, then they all say you look great. "

    You really are quite lean. I'd look at these photos for some examples of skinny fat.
    http://fivehourfitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/skinny-fat-female-model.jpg
    http://www.herdaily.com/health/11082/when-is-skinny-unhealthy.html

    With that said... If you want to go into a cut phase and lose some of your body fat to look leaner - then great! Absolutely go for it! No one on MFP will attack you for that!

    Or perhaps you managed to take a really flattering photo of yourself - If that's the case, then cool (and it sucks that you are skinny fat)! Bulk up some muscle and then go into a cut phase to add muscle mass and lose body fat.

    But based on that 1 photo you posted, you were definitely not in the skinny fat category. Perhaps in the - I'd like to cut body fat and increase muscle mass group. I think that's what people were trying to get at...
  • trb85
    trb85 Posts: 81 Member
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    "Skinny fat" doesn't mean a thin/normal weight person who is unhealthy or who doesn't exercise. That's just an unathletic/unhealthy/whatever person.

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