Why did you let yourself go?...

Being in a crappy relationship which made me depressed, so I ate...

There's so many things that contributed to it for me.

1. As a kid/teen I had a great metabolism and could eat whatever I wanted and never gained weight. I was thin but I ate horribly and never worked out. I got used to the idea of doing nothing to maintain a weight.

2. I had children and used each pregnancy as an excuse to eat what I wanted and not work out. That added about 20 lbs of overall weight after each child was born and I had shed the "baby weight".

3. There is so many horrible horrible foods and gigantic portion sizes available EVERYWHERE. You go out to eat and a "meal" is enough to fulfill someone's entire calorie goals. Before I watched my calories I thought "oh it's a meal...it's normal". Hah was I ever wrong.

4. It happened bit by bit. Eating poorly and not being active enough led to me gaining weight bit by bit. I never noticed the weight going on because it happened slowly. This I am sure includes some denial in there. I mean you're not supposed to outgrow your clothes once you're an adult...so I mean I SHOULD have seen that 20 extra lbs creep on..

I was trying to kill myself after what seems like a life of failure after failure. I was going to eat myself to death for the simple reason that when I am eating I was happy. Everything else about my life might be miserable but at least for the 5-10 minutes I was scarfing down food, I was happy. In the matter of about 2 years I gained over 100 pounds. I was looking forward to being dead, not having to worry about anything anymore. Then I shot myself and I realized that I dont want to be dead. Now Im trying to lose all the weight I stupidly gained.

3 kids. Worked full time. did school full time. Also transitioned from warehouse work to office work in that time.

Because I got into another (bad) relationship. So I gave up dating.

Prozac - as soon as I started taking the stuff the weight piled on, Same thing happened to a couple of the other girls in my counselling group. Tried to get my GP to change my drugs, he insisted 'people use Prozac to lose weight' and I was just comfort eating (I wasn't). My metabolism has been knackered ever since.

^^ This. I was already a bit chubby (around 150ish for my 5"3 frame) but after being diagnosed with clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder, the dr. put me on prozac...i gained 40 pounds. As of today, im quitting the drug as it only made my depression worse

goldfish crackers and grilled cheese. haha. actually breastfeeding and then feeling like mother earth life-giver deserved her processed carbs. then my youngest turned seven. lol.

We had a woman quit our bootcamp recently because she said she felt it was selfish that she was taking her time away from the kids. total copout. been there done that.

I have always been chubby, but lost quite a bit in my late teens. Then gained it plus interest within a decade as my clinical depression emerged and gradually got deeper and deeper. When I was a student and in the beginning of my present job, I ate to suppress the anxiety inside. The same time my activity level plummited after I got my own car.

Depression. Plain and simple.

When I got out into the working world after college, I started making money, and there was nobody around (parents, girlfriend, coaches) to encourage me to make responsible lifestyle decisions. I was determined to spend my time and money on things that I enjoyed. That included food I enjoyed eating and going out in the city (I lived in New York at the time) rather than working out. I justified my choices with the "I don't have time to work out" excuse. I thought I was having too much fun doing other things.

On top of that, the foods that I enjoy are just not that good for me (pizza, cheese, Goldfish, buttered rolls, ice cream, Lucky Charms, hamburgers, french fries, mashed potatoes, and so on), and I ate a lot of them because I like them ... a lot. As I got heavier, the little exercise I was doing became more of a hassle until I stopped altogether.

And that's pretty much the recipe for becoming morbidly obese without initially being depressed. Eventually, of course, the whole situation does become depressing, so then I'm eating to take my mind off how crappy I made my life and compounding the problem.

I always liked to eat and hated to exercise. I'd rather stay inside and stuff my face while reading a book than eat in moderation and go outside and play as a kid. As a result, I've always been fat. Simple as that.

Well, because I greatly enjoy

Soda
Fast Food
Pizza
Candy
Salty Snacks
Fried Chicken
etc

Feelings of unworthiness, unable to express my feelings so ate them instead, depression.

JEEZUS BALLS THANK GOD THAT IS OVER! PHEW!

okay here goes - **deep breath**

I was sexually abused by brother from ages 6-5. People talk about emotional eating - I think I ate so I wouldn't feel anything, and I got very good at not feeling anything. Comfort food was my friend, especially growing up in a family where meat & potatoes ruled. Even so, I was a jock in high school and college so even though I was overweight all the activity kept it in check. After college I stopped being a jock but never changed my eating habits. Later, even though it was subconscious, I'm pretty sure I gained weight as a protection - against any kind of emotional attachement to people... against life.

Fast forward to post-college and grad school - the memories started coming back, depression and PTSD set in, and comfort food was...well.... a comfort. And the depression made it all but impossible to get moving and get some exercise, and I was on a cocktail of 5 different psych meds, some of which caused some weight gain. I was also drinking a lot of alcohol to forget and probably came closer to being an alcoholic than I'd like to think about.

Fast forward again to now:
- years of therapy later, no more psych meds
- joined a gym and work out 5-6 times a week
- the gym has a pool and I swim 3-4 times a week
- I see a nutritionist who believes in real food and no diets
- I've dropped from a 4x-shoulda-been-a-5x to 1x, size 28 to 22
- I've lost just under 100 pounds and I'm about halfway to my current weight goal.

I too have dated men that were embarrassed by me. I consider myself a pretty strong person, mainly due to my dysfunctional childhood, but deep down these men have chipped away at my self esteem. My husband, who I love dearly, happens to be what they call a gym rat. We've been married 8 years now and have three beautiful, healthy babies. Sadly, my husband has been the person who has hurt me the most in regards to my weight. He is attracted to thin women, no matter what they look like, as long as they're thin. He's flat out told me he's not attracted to me and that my weight is a big issue for him. At times I feel his disgust when he looks at me and I have felt his embarrassment when we're at social gatherings. I try to understand him since I know he has his own issues about being to thin (can you believe that). However, I can't deny the fact that this has absolutely crumbled my self esteem. It's hard for me to acknowledge this, but I don't think I can move forward if I don't. I'm determined to get healthy and lose weight. Not for the sake of what my husband might think of me then, because let's be honest I might never be good enough for him, but for the sake of my own sanity and my children. Thank you for hearing me out..