How is my husband losing more weight than me!!!!!!

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My husband and I have been on the same journey to lose weight. We work out together, eat together and I have lose less! I'm getting frustrated at this point and really want to just forget it. Over the last couple of months I have lost 5 and my husband has lost about 25 pounds. We have tried juicing, eating only fruits and veggies, even no red meat! I do the bike daily, squats, stairs, arm exercises...so many things at this point. I just want to lose this weight and I don't think anything is working. Please offer advice nicely. : 0) I have actively been trying to lose weight for about 6 months, and when people see me they say I've gotten bigger. I guess I carry alot of my weight in my lower part, I'm just feeling horrible and like I cant lose this weight. Heck, its hard for me to reach 149! :(
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Replies

  • stacybc78
    stacybc78 Posts: 28 Member
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    My hubby can lose weight with out trying. I believe his metabolism is through the roof. I don't really know the answer, but seems to me men lose more quickly. Also how are your clothes fitting? I have actually put on a couple of pounds, but my clothes feel better. I'm slowly learning to not care about the scales. Good luck to you!
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
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    You've already discovered for yourself that fad diets don't work. If you are eating the same things, he will very likely have a higher basal metabolic rate, and so he is inherently at a higher deficit than you are. That said, the larger the deficit does not always equal faster (or healthier) losses. Since you've tried a bunch of stuff that doesn't work. Perhaps try each of you individually calculating how many calories you need by accurately entering your activity levels into MFP and entering your weight loss goals. Your goals should be for a moderate deficit, so unless you have over 75lbs to lose, you shouldn't be trying to lose 2 pounds a week. Eat back your exercise calories if you did not account for exercise in your activity level. Stop with the fads; just eat within your calorie goals (and it will be different than your husbands, and he will be eating more than you).
  • mbarryteach
    mbarryteach Posts: 52 Member
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    I know the physical reasons why men lose faster than women but that doesnt make it any less frustrating. My boyfriend started MFP two weeks after I did ( we were around the same weight) has 500 more calories a day and has lost the same amout that I have. I support him 100%, obviously, but there are times when I wish I could force feed him chessecake eveyday so I could be the one losing more.
  • now_or_never13
    now_or_never13 Posts: 1,575 Member
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    Please don't compare yourself to your husband (or anyone else)! Even a woman, same height, weight, age as you will lose at a different rate than you will. Comparing yourself to a man is not even close to weight loss you should expect during hte same time frames if you want to do it right.

    Men naturally have a larger amount of lean body mass than women which means they can lose a lot quicker than we can. The more muscle you have, the higher your metabolism and the more weight you can lose. The more muscle you have the more you burn through exercise as well. The bigger you are the more you burn and will lose.

    I know it's frustrating. My husband cut out regular pop last year and lot 30lbs just because of that.

    You are losing weight so look at that. Women lose slower. Women also have more issues with hormone variations causing water retention. Women have a naturally lower metabolism. I also believe (I may be wrong) that women tend to lose slower as our bodies don't want to let go of the weight due to the fact that we can carry children.

    You are making progress, you are losing weight so don't fret that you will never reach your goal. Make sure you are eating enough and consuming enough protein, fiber, fat and water. You don't want to lose quickly since that will lead to more muscle loss than what you would lose with proper diet.

    Also, according to your ticker on your profile you have about 25lbs left to lose. Have your weekly weight loss goal set at no higher than 1lb per week. Eat your daily calories and exercise calories. When you lose and get to about 10-15lbs left to lose, set your weekly goal to 0.5lbs per week. The smaller you are the smaller of a deficit you should have.
  • MrsGenique
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    :0)
  • jfauci
    jfauci Posts: 531 Member
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    So common and so frustrating. the guys have very different metabolisms. If you open your diary, we can give you some constructive feedback. When I wasn't loosing another MFP member suggested that I open my diary and I got some great suggestions.
  • stubbynose
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    Try not to focus on the amount your husband is loosing…men loose it faster than we woman because they have more muscle and muscle burns fat !!! I have this same trouble when dieting with my husband it becomes frustrating because he looses double me . I started this journey again in Jan and have lost 9.5 lbs. It is slow but I am ok with that. Have you figured out your TDEE and BMR. If not do this and start eating the correct amount of calories and weigh everything if you are not already doing this. It makes a hinge difference !! Here is the site I used to figure out my TDEE and BMR :

    http://www.build-muscle-and-burn-fat.com/how-many-calories-should-i-eat-tdee.html

    Hope this helps. We all loose weight at a different rate just stick with it… it will click eventually !! You are on the right track, and don't forget you are building muscle too so the scales are not going to budge much at first as muscle weighs more than fat… just tweak your calories and stick close to them. You may not be eating enough calories right now so your body is holding onto the fat because it feels it is lacking the correct amount to keep you going. Once you start eating the correct amount of calories your body will start to drop the fat as it knows there will always be food coming in for it to use !! It is working for me as I have been eating more calories since Jan and I am now loosing…. so trust in it and it will come off. Don't let hubby's success get in your way…. men are always going to beat us in the weight loss department… nothing we can do about that hun!!! Good luck !!
  • evileen99
    evileen99 Posts: 1,564 Member
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    Men have much more muscle, which burns calories, than we do. A woman and man who are the same height and weight will not have the same BMR--the man's will be higher. So when they cut back on calories, they can create a larger deficit, and when they exercise, because they have more muscle, they burn more calories.

    They have lots of testosterone, which builds muscle, we have lots of estrogen, which builds and wants to hang onto fat. so we can nourish a pregnancy. Biology sucks when it comes to weight loss.
  • UpandRunning2013
    UpandRunning2013 Posts: 69 Member
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    he he Yeah... It seems to me my husband just has to think about slimming down and the weight starts dropping off!!!
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    Chances are your husband is bigger than you. The bigger you are, the more calories you burn, the more weight you will lose if you are doing the same exact thing.
  • savithny
    savithny Posts: 1,200 Member
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    If there's one thing I learned from having babies and nursing them, its that hormones play some kind of really big role in weight gain/loss/maintenance. Men have a whole different set of hormones working in their favor when it comes to all this. Their bodies get an entirely different message from lowering calories or raising exercise than ours do.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    I lose weight on MFP, but my husband loses way more just by not eating whatever - just not having junk in the house is enough for him to lose. It's frustrating for me not so much for that reason but because it seems like I will always weigh more than he does. I'm 5'7", and he's 5'10". I guess it's just the way it is! Men have a much easier time losing weight (generally speaking) for a multitude of reasons.

    Try not to compare yourself to him. You really shouldn't be comparing your losses to anyone else's. While most of us have the same goal (to lose weight), we're all going to do it at different rates depending on what we do and how our bodies react.

    Also, who tells you that you look bigger? Whoever they are, they need to stop. I don't care if it's your family or a bunch of strangers - that is NOT cool.

    Overall, rather than trying fads like juicing, no red meat, etc., you can try something that allows you to live a normal life - I present The Roadmap: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    I am currently pregnant but wish I had seen this when I started MFP almost 2 years ago. I lost 82 lbs doing it "my way," but I think The Roadmap would have been more beneficial. Once I am cleared at my 6-week postpartum visit, I plan on starting again using it. (1200 calories a day is for the birds!) Even if you don't follow it, there's a lot of good information in there. I hope it's helpful. :flowerforyou:
  • QueenofScott
    QueenofScott Posts: 305 Member
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    Men pretty much always lose faster than women, due to their natural amount of extra muscle content. My hubby didn't need to lose weight, but lost aout 30 lbs just by starting to run three mornings a week, still eating anything he wanted....he wasn't even TRYING to lose. So annoying! Now he is trying to gain some back, meanwhile, I am still plugging along trying to lose the rest of my weight. We just can't compare ourselves to men.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
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    My hubby could easily drop the pounds faster than I do just by not taking sugar in his coffee. Unfair. :angry:
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,868 Member
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    OP...when you say you eat the same things...does that mean you're eating the same amount? If you are then it's likely that he's at a larger deficit and you're at a smaller one. In general, women simply can't consume the same quantity of calories to maintain or lose weight. Just a few suggested reasons why...

    1.) Women are just generally smaller...they are shorter and generally all around smaller. The smaller you are, the lower you Basal Metabolic Rate is. For example, my BMR is around 1,780...my wife's is around 1,350. That means I need 1,780 calories just for proper organ function in a coma...that doesn't count anything else I do during the day, from crawling out of bed to working out. With the exercise I do as well as general activity, I need about 2,150 calories per day to burn 1 Lb per week of fat. Conversely, my wife can only eat around 1,650 calories to get that same benefit.

    2.) Men tend to have more lean body mass...more lean body mass means more calories burned, even at rest. When you compare men to women and BF % of very fit individuals, men will have roughly 14%-17% BF as compared to 21%-24% for females with a "fitness" body type.

    3.) Women require more essential body fat than men, so the body goes to greater efforts to hold onto body fat.

    4.) Hormones play a big part and women are prone to greater hormonal imbalances due to things like contraception as well as natural monthly "events." These can be even more pronounced when eating at a deficit, particularly if the deficit is large.

    5.) Men generally tend to burn more calories during the same exercise event of the same duration or even just walking around the zoo or something. See # 1 and 2.
  • rjmudlax13
    rjmudlax13 Posts: 900 Member
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    We men, on average, lose weight faster than women. Sorry. It's just a fact. Don't blame us!

    It has to do with a number of factors. One reason is men have higher muscle mass (due to higher testosterone). Muscles use a lot of energy and therefore burn calories. Also, women tend to hold onto body fat because they need it for reproductive reasons. In fact, most experts agree that women require much more body fat just to be considered healthy. The healthy range for women is around 20 - 25%, for men it's around 14 -18%.

    Also, men are just larger in general, so that alone skews the comparison if you just look at lbs. Try to determine the percentage of weight you have lost vs. his. So, if your hubby was 250 lbs and lost 10 lbs, he lost 4% of his initial weight. If you were 150 lbs and lost 6 lbs, you lost the same percentage of your initial weight.
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,630 Member
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    My hubby can lose weight with out trying. I believe his metabolism is through the roof. I don't really know the answer, but seems to me men lose more quickly. Also how are your clothes fitting? I have actually put on a couple of pounds, but my clothes feel better. I'm slowly learning to not care about the scales. Good luck to you!

    I second this ^

    My hubby is exactly the same, he can eat, eat, eat and not put on any weight, or if he does it is just a few pounds, that immediately come back off if he is strict with his eating for a few days.

    It seems to me that most males definitely seem to have a faster metabolism.
  • eb12112
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    my uncle said he was trying to lose 10 pounds and actually lost 30 pounds - he said the women always get mad when telling this story!!!!! and this was over the holidays!
  • nomesw84
    nomesw84 Posts: 101 Member
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    My partner drops weight without even trying while I struggle to lose every pound!

    I've learnt to accept it though and as long as we support each other through our journey that's all we need :smile: One day he'll reach a stable weight and then I'll have a chance to catch up!!
  • wannatangle
    wannatangle Posts: 80 Member
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    Oh yeah, my husband and I went on a diet together once and he lost about twice as quickly.......this time it's just me. I have a head start ;)