About to explode! (A vent)
MagicalLeopleurodon
Posts: 623 Member
in Chit-Chat
First-my mom has been given the workload of three more people at her office. She refuses to tell anyone no-and is not being paid any more than she was. This has led her to working extra hours just to get things done. Now-she's a stress basket case. So she comes home-tells me about her day in one solid breath (doesnt bug me-i listen) and then mentally shuts down. I get it, shes tired-but she wont tell her bosses she is utterly overwhelmed. Then, descisions such as, "what do you want for dinner?" lead to complete emotional meltdowns.
Which makes my fiance nuts. He gets aggravated that she cant get her act together and the simplest thing causes her to come absolutely unglued. Then i get to listen to him piss and moan all evening, while he shops for gun/car parts we dont need.
On top of that-i keep being told that my fiance should grow up and be responsible for my mothers house, since we live in it. The INSTANT either of us put a game plan together to put in cabinets or fix waterlines or repair a shower or even mow the yard-we're idiots and shouldnt be doing anything (despite him being a plumber-my family thinks he is an idiott and cant put in a damn faucet apparently).
But its my pets fault. We have three dogs and three cats-and recently rescued a stray off the streets. Somehow-everything that goes wrong (like the neighborhood waterwell needing repair) is thee fault of my exsessive number of pets-according to my dad and grandparents). Somehow-if we turned all seven in to shelters....all our problems would go away.
I've also gone back to square obe with my fitness, since now i have somehow become responsible for everyone elses. between family, clients, pets, etc- im out of hours. i cant hold everyone else in this house together with their delicate eggshell realiries and still function full time. because god forbid i forget to boil eggs or wash the wrong blue jeans because i was busy.
im tired of everyone around me being so pissy and unstable-its messing with my mood.
im tired of being talked AT, like im clueless.
im tired of working for free when its destroying my own goals.
im tired of people jumping my case about my pets when none of them are affected by my floors having dirty pawprints.
i feel stuck, overwhelmed, and angry. im doing my best to keep up the activity so i dont shut down or snap.
but im getting really tired.
Which makes my fiance nuts. He gets aggravated that she cant get her act together and the simplest thing causes her to come absolutely unglued. Then i get to listen to him piss and moan all evening, while he shops for gun/car parts we dont need.
On top of that-i keep being told that my fiance should grow up and be responsible for my mothers house, since we live in it. The INSTANT either of us put a game plan together to put in cabinets or fix waterlines or repair a shower or even mow the yard-we're idiots and shouldnt be doing anything (despite him being a plumber-my family thinks he is an idiott and cant put in a damn faucet apparently).
But its my pets fault. We have three dogs and three cats-and recently rescued a stray off the streets. Somehow-everything that goes wrong (like the neighborhood waterwell needing repair) is thee fault of my exsessive number of pets-according to my dad and grandparents). Somehow-if we turned all seven in to shelters....all our problems would go away.
I've also gone back to square obe with my fitness, since now i have somehow become responsible for everyone elses. between family, clients, pets, etc- im out of hours. i cant hold everyone else in this house together with their delicate eggshell realiries and still function full time. because god forbid i forget to boil eggs or wash the wrong blue jeans because i was busy.
im tired of everyone around me being so pissy and unstable-its messing with my mood.
im tired of being talked AT, like im clueless.
im tired of working for free when its destroying my own goals.
im tired of people jumping my case about my pets when none of them are affected by my floors having dirty pawprints.
i feel stuck, overwhelmed, and angry. im doing my best to keep up the activity so i dont shut down or snap.
but im getting really tired.
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Replies
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I think its funny you and your fiance live with your mom, but dont mind me, im an ahole.0
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Get your own place. Make your own rules. Do whatever the *kitten* you wanna do.
This!!0 -
That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.0
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Get your own place. Make your own rules. Do whatever the *kitten* you wanna do.
I agree!0 -
seriously........if you feel like you are grown up enough to be married then you need to move outta your mommies house.0
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That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.
Maybe instead of time posting on here for free, go get a job and then you can post from there and get paid for it.0 -
Do you have a doctor with whom you can speak? Maybe a therapist is a good idea for you. You're young and you're dealing with some big issues. Your mother may be depressed, and neither you nor your fiance are able to deal with this on your own.
Looking at your profile, you started at 98lbs and now you're at 127lbs. I hope this means you've worked hard to gain some weight and maybe overcome some other issues.
Go find someone to talk to who is trained to help you work through all this.0 -
That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.
i am saying this in the nicest way possible, but i can't imagine caring for 7 pets is cheap, maybe if you were able to give some to good homes you could save some money up for your own place?
or, if your fiance is a plumber, post some Craigslist ads if he doesn't currently have a job. Plumbers are always in demand.
I definitely know what it feels like to have no way out, but if you're posting here on a public forum, you're gonna get some ideas, even if you feel they're off the wall crazy!0 -
I'd be pissed, too, if you turned my house into a menagerie.
Yuck.0 -
Just an FYI: Not everyone has the luxury of "moving out of mommies house" ..... not everyone is financially stable enough to do so. Also, depending where you live rent can be super expensive. I.e., my 2 bedroom apartment is going up to $1,750 next month. And yes, I had to live with mommy and daddy for a while until I was able to move out on my own.
Everyone has their own struggles and we dont know what theirs are. Dont be so quick to poke and make fun because you can be in her shoes one day.0 -
That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.
I get that...I sympathize...I didn't move out until I was 28 for that reason!!
...that said, mayyyybe you should reconsider a marriage?? #justsayin!!0 -
That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.
Maybe instead of time posting on here for free, go get a job and then you can post from there and get paid for it.
i do work, sweetie. we're paying off college debt and a 30,000 truck so my fiance could get to his job. We can make house notes, but not groceries, utilities, or insurance if we do.0 -
do u need 7 pets? Just cook like 3 of them.0
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That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.
Then, why get married? Love? What's love got to do with it if you can't pay the rent.0 -
That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.
Maybe instead of time posting on here for free, go get a job and then you can post from there and get paid for it.
Wow - some people are ignorant!!
She said 'clients' so she obviously has a job.
There are a million reasons someone may live with family, get a grip!0 -
Move. Out. ASAP.
It sounds as if you have become a household drudge for all the people in your life. Your mom has the temper of a hungry rabid badger, your fiance copes by spending money you could use to escape, and your dad thinks all of your animals are the cause of every misery under the sun.
This is a toxic situation. It is hard to fix ourselves, let alone anyone else. I would rather live in my car than live with my mother (your mother sounds a lot like mine). And your dad may have a point about the animals. If you are caring for them to your own detriment, it is time to find loving homes for some of them. You cannot care for anyone or anything until you are meeting your own needs.
Is this the living situation you want? It sounds awful. Get your feces consolidated and get out. That way, you can order your life in any way you choose. That is the brilliance of being an adult.
ETA: this thread blew up and I see you cannot move out now. Then it's time to set some rules about division of chores and duties. You should not be everyone's drudge. If they expect you to cook, then cook. If they don't like it, the kitchen is open to whomever wishes to try their hand. Best of luck. I wouldn't wish your living situation on anyone.0 -
Just an FYI: Not everyone has the luxury of "moving out of mommies house" ..... not everyone is financially stable enough to do so. Also, depending where you live rent can be super expensive. I.e., my 2 bedroom apartment is going up to $1,750 next month. And yes, I had to live with mommy and daddy for a while until I was able to move out on my own.
Everyone has their own struggles and we dont know what theirs are. Dont be so quick to poke and make fun because you can be in her shoes one day.
It's not so much that she's living with her mommy - it's that she's living with her mommy with a fiance that blows money on stuff they don't need, 7 pets that admittedly leave the house dirty (pawprints on the floor), and she feels like she is justified in complaining about the free roof over her head.0 -
It seems like theres too many people/critters under one roof. Maybe there needs to be some strict rules in place and maybe a schedule. Like instead of asking what mom wants to eat, just make something yummy and ask what they want you to fix up and tell them that they better not complain and if they do, you'll just tear it all down. Mom definitely needs a vacation, but sometimes bosses just like to pretend employees are robots. Maybe set up a mental health day with mom.
If you can, try to see a family therapist or even have a family meeting. :]
it'll all be okay!
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That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.
Then, why get married? Love? What's love got to do with it if you can't pay the rent.
we've been together almost 8 years. we arent having a wedding and arent going to pay for the liscence until we get out of here.
Why wouldnt we get married?0 -
Is this the living situation you want? It sounds awful. Get your feces consolidated and get out. That way, you can order your life in any way you choose. That is the brilliance of being an adult.
lmao feces please tell me that was autocorrect :laugh:0 -
I'm in a similar position, although I do not live with my bf. we would both love to move out, and we both have jobs, but we still can't. I'm going back to school to work toward a better job, and he's really trying for something better, but for now we don't have a choice. We live in a high cost of living, high unemployment rate area. I'm a nanny/sitter even though I have a degree, because that's the only way I can make more than minimum wage.0
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it isnt free. we pay bills and buy groceries.Just an FYI: Not everyone has the luxury of "moving out of mommies house" ..... not everyone is financially stable enough to do so. Also, depending where you live rent can be super expensive. I.e., my 2 bedroom apartment is going up to $1,750 next month. And yes, I had to live with mommy and daddy for a while until I was able to move out on my own.
Everyone has their own struggles and we dont know what theirs are. Dont be so quick to poke and make fun because you can be in her shoes one day.
It's not so much that she's living with her mommy - it's that she's living with her mommy with a fiance that blows money on stuff they don't need, 7 pets that admittedly leave the house dirty (pawprints on the floor), and she feels like she is justified in complaining about the free roof over her head.
we have concrete floors-EVERYONE tracks in mud.0 -
Just an FYI: Not everyone has the luxury of "moving out of mommies house" ..... not everyone is financially stable enough to do so. Also, depending where you live rent can be super expensive. I.e., my 2 bedroom apartment is going up to $1,750 next month. And yes, I had to live with mommy and daddy for a while until I was able to move out on my own.
Everyone has their own struggles and we dont know what theirs are. Dont be so quick to poke and make fun because you can be in her shoes one day.
Man please! It's one thing that her and fiance live with mommy but all her gazillion pets too??? I'd say that's just taking advantage and lack of respect for other peoples property. How the hell you trying to save strays off the street and bring them into someone elses house?0 -
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it isnt free. we pay bills and buy groceries.Just an FYI: Not everyone has the luxury of "moving out of mommies house" ..... not everyone is financially stable enough to do so. Also, depending where you live rent can be super expensive. I.e., my 2 bedroom apartment is going up to $1,750 next month. And yes, I had to live with mommy and daddy for a while until I was able to move out on my own.
Everyone has their own struggles and we dont know what theirs are. Dont be so quick to poke and make fun because you can be in her shoes one day.
It's not so much that she's living with her mommy - it's that she's living with her mommy with a fiance that blows money on stuff they don't need, 7 pets that admittedly leave the house dirty (pawprints on the floor), and she feels like she is justified in complaining about the free roof over her head.
we have concrete floors-EVERYONE tracks in mud.
Unless you pay a mortgage note/rent, by definition you have a free roof over your head.0 -
Just an FYI: Not everyone has the luxury of "moving out of mommies house" ..... not everyone is financially stable enough to do so. Also, depending where you live rent can be super expensive. I.e., my 2 bedroom apartment is going up to $1,750 next month. And yes, I had to live with mommy and daddy for a while until I was able to move out on my own.
Everyone has their own struggles and we dont know what theirs are. Dont be so quick to poke and make fun because you can be in her shoes one day.
Man please! It's one thing that her and fiance live with mommy but all her gazillion pets too??? I'd say that's just taking advantage and lack of respect for other peoples property. How the hell you trying to save strays off the street and bring them into someone elses house?
Because three of them are HERS.0 -
That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.
Then, why get married? Love? What's love got to do with it if you can't pay the rent.
we've been together almost 8 years. we arent having a wedding and arent going to pay for the liscence until we get out of here.
Why wouldnt we get married?
Because you both seem too irresponsible.0 -
That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.
Maybe instead of time posting on here for free, go get a job and then you can post from there and get paid for it.
Wow - some people are ignorant!!
She said 'clients' so she obviously has a job.
There are a million reasons someone may live with family, get a grip!
Clients? R u implying shes a hooker? how ignorant0 -
That would be a GREAT idea. if we could afford it. theres a REASON we live here.
if you can afford to redo cabinets and buy guns and car parts you dont need, you can afford to not live with your mommy...0 -
She never said they don't contribute to the household financially, and it certainly sounds like she's earning her keep with work.
In my case, as grateful as I am for a place to live, I would not be as grateful in that situation
Eta: saw that she pays bills0
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