Overcoming Impatience

smittieaj
smittieaj Posts: 151 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm finding that the entire time that I'm trying to get into shape, I'm obsessing about the future and what I might achieve or look like. This, in turn, seems to make me very discontent with my current state, even though my behaviors are 1000% better than they used to be, and my waist is showing vast improvement. I seem to get stuck looking at what I haven't achieved yet, and how long it might take me to get there.

Does anyone else out there struggle with living in the present, or with contentment with ongoing improvements?

People who have successfully achieved your goals, do you remember how you thought about the discipline, and yourself while you were only halfway there?
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Replies

  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    I definitely do. I'm fairly impatient and generally have unrealistic expectations. The 2 combined leave me discouraged at times when I should be pleased.

    I'm not sure what to do about it. It's a matter of keeping perspective, which for many is easier said than done. I saw this pic a while back and it's been one of my favorites.

    487039_10151158501109403_1685223810_n.jpg
  • smittieaj
    smittieaj Posts: 151 Member
    I definitely do. I'm fairly impatient and generally have unrealistic expectations. The 2 combined leave me discouraged at times when I should be pleased.

    I'm not sure what to do about it. It's a matter of keeping perspective, which for many is easier said than done. I saw this pic a while back and it's been one of my favorites.

    487039_10151158501109403_1685223810_n.jpg

    Thanks for that. You might have found my desktop wallpaper for the day.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    Does anyone else out there struggle with living in the present, or with contentment with ongoing improvements?

    I won't throw this too far into a hyperbole, but I think this is true of most people in daily life! So yes, I am with ya. I find I am either too critical - worrying each day about calories, exercise, and such - or too focused on the end result inside of the journey to a better lifestyle.
  • Aleks87
    Aleks87 Posts: 13
    I feel the same way. I have unrealistic expectations due to a good couple of week when I was losing 5lbs a week. Now that I am losing only 2-3 pounds a week I am always worried about what I am doing wrong. I am also worried about the future...what will I look like by the summer?...will I be able to continue losing weight?...will gaining muscle keep me at my current weight?...and of course the scariest question of all for me is whether I will be able to keep my weight down and not gain back the weight after I reach my goal. I think the more we think about our ideal selves the more upset we become about where we are now. I think a lot of people have these questions running through their head, especially those that have attempted to get healthy and lost the battle before.
  • GoldinaGrace5012
    GoldinaGrace5012 Posts: 8
    I just signed up today. I want to try and not be impatient. I know the change will come but it can be hard. LOVE the quote on the pic that Jacksonpt posted. TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!
  • stealthSLOTH
    stealthSLOTH Posts: 695 Member


    Does anyone else out there struggle with living in the present, or with contentment with ongoing improvements?

    Don't forget to live now.

    You know that person you are now? Well when you are at goal, you'll be the same awesome person, but probably with much more confidence and you'll look even better. But it's not like you're nothing now. None of us are nothing. We have to all remember that. :flowerforyou:


    - - - Edited to correct typos.:embarassed:
  • msaestein1
    msaestein1 Posts: 264 Member
    I definitely do. I'm fairly impatient and generally have unrealistic expectations. The 2 combined leave me discouraged at times when I should be pleased.

    I'm not sure what to do about it. It's a matter of keeping perspective, which for many is easier said than done. I saw this pic a while back and it's been one of my favorites.

    487039_10151158501109403_1685223810_n.jpg

    I needed this! I had a total fat day today and didn't want to come to work because of it. I changed my outfit 3 times. The sweater I wanted to wear originally, I haven't worn in like a year. I can fit it now and should have been happy about that, but because my stomach isn't a flat as I thought it should look in it, I got soooo depressed and changed. I should have been happy that I could actually put the thing on instead of busting out of it. Thanks for the attitude adjustment guys.
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    Does anyone else out there struggle with living in the present, or with contentment with ongoing improvements?

    My problem is that when I look in the mirror I still see 190 lbs of fat girl. I don't see the improvements even though I KNOW they are there. I have an image in my mind of what I want to see in the mirror but I am tired of seeing the same old me. *shrugs*

    It's only natural to want instant gratification. If you're working hard you want to see the results. They'll come with time. Set small goals for yourself as a way of tracking progress so that you don't feel like you aren't getting anywhere.
  • leonstaub
    leonstaub Posts: 1 Member
    I had to change my focus on what I was trying to do. I always got impatient about losing the weight, and wished there was some faster way to get there. I determined that weight loss should not be my goal and I changed my focus to meeting smaller discrete changes in my life, and know that as a result I will continue to lose weight and be healthier. Sometimes I get a little impatient, but I like the picture that was posted, I'm not there, but I'm not just starting either. I've made a significant change by not focusing on the end state. A lot of people ask me what my goals are, and I'm specifically not setting them, because I don't know where I want to be until I get there.
  • samanthachen
    samanthachen Posts: 360 Member
    haha I set that as my wallpaper too!!

    I signed up 2 weeks ago, so this weight-projection feature really gets me excited, but I had to calm down. I was weighing in every morning in my first week, and I realized that is dangerous too because weight fluctuates all week. I am down to weighing every Friday morning, and that keeps me at bay. I am right there with you, though. I guess I am more excited for people to start noticing (or maybe nervous)!!!
  • bootsandfros
    bootsandfros Posts: 81 Member
    this is also something i struggle with. i think because of constantly being worried about where i am as opposed to where i'm trying to be i often get discouraged and fall off the boat. this is something i'm aware of at this point so i try to push through it.
  • Mexicanbigfoot
    Mexicanbigfoot Posts: 520 Member
    I struggle with this everyday. I think that is why I have started and quit so many times in the past. I also have a very bad habit of comparing myself to other people and my progress to theirs etc and then I feel like I am failing if I can't keep up. I am a big girl and I know I have a long way to go. It didn't take 2 or 3 weeks to put it on, and I know it's going to taken even longer to get it off. I try to focus on one day at a time and just doing the best I can for that day. I try to find small victories everyday in my journey whether it's wearing a shirt or pants I could not wear before, trying a new food or just staying under my calorie goal for the day. Hang in there, I have found my biggest tool for success this time was putting myself out in the community and getting lots of support from people who are fighting the same battles as me. Good luck on your journey :happy:
  • krithsai
    krithsai Posts: 668 Member
    I am as impatient as they come...everything in life needs to happen now for me. Because I don't have too many pounds to lose at this point(7 lbs down and I'll be in the right range, 15 lbs is all I want to lose overall), it is extremely difficult for me to lose. I go down say, 1-2 lbs in a month and it is so tough to see the weighing scale stuck. But I do take joy in the fact that I am sticking to a program I got started on and it is something I wasn't very good at. Look at all the good things you are doing with yourself and take pride. The results will come. All the best!
  • jd7887
    jd7887 Posts: 59 Member
    Thank you for this post!
  • schaskes
    schaskes Posts: 103 Member
    This wasn't a problem for me this time, but it has been in the past. One suggestion is to set ultra-mini goals, such as drinking 8 glasses of water per day for an entire week or to exercise a certain number of minutes. When you reach these goals, reward yourself in a non-food way - treat yourself to an item or experience that is a little decadent. Or you can put money in a jar for each goal met and save up for something big! Another suggestion is to surround yourself with supportive people - both on MFP and in real life. It helps me so much to get the little WTG messages every time I work out or am under my calorie goal. And eating lunch daily with people who never disparage my choices or try to tempt me is also helpful. Of course, my husband (who is also on the journey) has been the biggest support, but that's hard to find! :) And my last suggestion is to focus on health rather than weight loss. Every time you choose lean meat, vegetables, etc. over junk, you are healthier, no matter what any scale or measuring tape says. Good Luck! You can do it!!
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
    I was going to read it all but I have no patience.
  • SkinnyForMinnie
    SkinnyForMinnie Posts: 68 Member
    Bump. JacksonPT, thanks for that great inspirational picture! :happy:
  • amytag
    amytag Posts: 206 Member
    Look at each day as a chance to do better than the day before. Set small goals, and remember that the time will pass regardless - it's up to you whether your future self will be better or worse than your today self.

    This has been my mindset, and has helped me remain consistent and committed (two of the keys to success, imo). I've not reached my goal, but my goal is certainly attainable. When I started this lifestyle change nearly 10 months ago, I thought my goal was almost unachievable. Now I totally believe it will happen.
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
    I find it helpful to set short term goals to obsess over instead of the long term ones. I use jefit to track my weight lifting sets. Each week, I make it a goal to do either a higher weight or closer to the full number of reps for all sets than the previous week. That way, I always have a tangible number to look at for success.
  • smittieaj
    smittieaj Posts: 151 Member
    I was going to read it all but I have no patience.

    hahaha... what did he say?
  • jsbieniek
    jsbieniek Posts: 76 Member
    I feel exactly the same way. My Zumba instructor reminds me that you didn't put it on overnight so don't expect it to come off overnight. Honestly, it's a good reminder but it rarely helps. And I also fall into the trap of watching what other people do and wondering how it is that I can't lose it as fast. Most of the people in my life are very supportive. Only one or two that like to tell me how I'll put it back on. The post about mini goals is terrific. I think that helps a lot! Good luck on your journey. We can all do this!
  • smittieaj
    smittieaj Posts: 151 Member

    Don't forget to live now.

    You know that person you are now? Well when you are at goal, you'll be the same awesome person, but probably with much more confidence and you'll look even better. But it's not like you're nothing now. None of us are nothing. We have to all remember that. :flowerforyou:


    - - - Edited to correct typos.:embarassed:

    Loved your post, by the way. This is a very positive mindset.
  • Goal_Line
    Goal_Line Posts: 474 Member
    I look upon what I've done as a lifestyle change, purposefully look to the long term. I know my a better lifestyle the results will come.
  • cubbies77
    cubbies77 Posts: 607 Member
    I feel the same way. I have unrealistic expectations due to a good couple of week when I was losing 5lbs a week. Now that I am losing only 2-3 pounds a week I am always worried about what I am doing wrong. I am also worried about the future...what will I look like by the summer?...will I be able to continue losing weight?...will gaining muscle keep me at my current weight?...and of course the scariest question of all for me is whether I will be able to keep my weight down and not gain back the weight after I reach my goal. I think the more we think about our ideal selves the more upset we become about where we are now. I think a lot of people have these questions running through their head, especially those that have attempted to get healthy and lost the battle before.

    What do you mean "only" 2-3 pounds per week? That's still higher than average. Most people lose 1-2 pounds per week.
  • Heatherdawnxoxo
    Heatherdawnxoxo Posts: 60 Member
    Patience is a virtue of which i have none most of the time. Especially when it comes to this. It's hard to try and stay positive when the scale doesnt necessarily reflect what work we think we've done. Back in the fall when i really started trying to be more dedicated to eating better and working out i was dropping a minimum of 2lbs/week, that went on for about 8 weeks and i lost about 15lbs. Since that point i feel almost like I've been sitting at a standstill ...my weight seems to be fluctuating up and down about 3 or 4lbs for the past month or so ..never going up too much, but still never going down far enough to make me happy. Sometimes its just a roller coaster and you have to keep putting up with it to get where you want to be at the end.
    Things can get discouraging at times ..but we all must learn that it's all mind over matter.
    We can do anything
  • bpotts44
    bpotts44 Posts: 1,066 Member
    I struggle with this as well. One time I put on my old pants and saw how loose they were. Patience and consistency is really the key to losing weight over the long term. I try and focus on keeping my food healthy and tasting good everyday and also on my daily workouts. Keeping myself busy has really been the trick for me. So I wake up early and when the kids go down a lot of times after some cleanup I do too. So periodically look back to see how far you've come and stay busy and just keep going.
  • Ascolti_la_musica
    Ascolti_la_musica Posts: 676 Member
    I think we all struggle with it. I look at my weight every week and see a number that is much higher than what I used to consider my "limit." Instead of seeing what I have lost, I see myself well beyond the "fattest I will ever allow myself to get."

    My goal weight is still "overweight," and yet it seems like I am stuck forever at "morbidly obese." I just want the bowling ball and love handles GONE! Now!
  • VorJoshigan
    VorJoshigan Posts: 1,106 Member
    When I'm losing slowly or in a stall, I do have to tally up what I've accomplished and remind myself that this may not be the victory that I WANT to celebrate, but it is definitely a victory.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    I stopped focusing on the end result. For me, there is no "end". It's not that I do stuff to reach a goal then stop all of it, I have to eat right and exercise forever and ever, amen. I have also learned that I can control my behaviors (what I eat and how much I exercise, etc.) but I cannot control when the weight will come off and/or when/how my body will change. So I focus on the things I control, set my goals to be eating right and exercising and let the results happen (which they do). Since there is no "end" for me, I'm no longer impatient to reach some arbitrary number/shape/etc. I do what I do and if I continue to do the right things, the results happen.
  • krithsai
    krithsai Posts: 668 Member
    This wasn't a problem for me this time, but it has been in the past. One suggestion is to set ultra-mini goals, such as drinking 8 glasses of water per day for an entire week or to exercise a certain number of minutes. When you reach these goals, reward yourself in a non-food way - treat yourself to an item or experience that is a little decadent. Or you can put money in a jar for each goal met and save up for something big! Another suggestion is to surround yourself with supportive people - both on MFP and in real life. It helps me so much to get the little WTG messages every time I work out or am under my calorie goal. And eating lunch daily with people who never disparage my choices or try to tempt me is also helpful. Of course, my husband (who is also on the journey) has been the biggest support, but that's hard to find! :) And my last suggestion is to focus on health rather than weight loss. Every time you choose lean meat, vegetables, etc. over junk, you are healthier, no matter what any scale or measuring tape says. Good Luck! You can do it!!

    Well said. Having a supportive spouse is such an important part of what I am doing.

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