Husband doesn't like my body?

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  • bunbunzee44
    bunbunzee44 Posts: 592 Member
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    people can like many types of bodies.. I'm sure he likes yours, he IS married to you :)
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
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    You think he doesn't like your body because he looks at bodies that don't look like yours? My guess is he likes lots of different kinds of bodies, including yours.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.

    Here's what I was going to say...my husband comes in the room all the time as I'm getting dressed. It's hilarious because I run and lock the door quick like a bunny on *****cat feet & secretly giggle like an *kitten* when he stops dead almost smacking his nose on the door when he realizes it's locked :laugh: omg! and then the meek knock on the door asking to come in :flowerforyou: I'm terribly mean to him cause if I were a little girl on the playground, he'd put gum in my hair every time he saw me :love: his words, not mine :smooched:

    The truth is, I don't let him see allllll the time, but I do let him catch me even though I feel like a baby beluga & likely look like one too :blushing: I can't tell you how funny this is to me:laugh: The beauty of not icing him out every time is he never knows when it's coming :bigsmile:
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    o crap! u can't say putty cat??????:huh:
  • rodneyderrick
    rodneyderrick Posts: 483 Member
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    I don't project annoying o. To him I have a little more self esteem than that....it's not my fault that these pictures of females that he likes keep appearing in my news feed...I'm doing it for myself don't let that fool you but it doesn't help that I'm not getting the emotional support that I need...smh it's hard to explain its one of those things where you would have to walk in my shoes to understand... Just need to know it there's a light at the end of the tunnel

    You're a jealous person, and that will be the undoing of your marriage. If you're seething because he has female friends, then you're in for a long and painful journey through life. The majority of men you'll meet will have some lady friends within their social network. It doesn't mean he wants or fantasizes or thinks about these women. If you don't have any evidence of impropriety or infidelity, then you shouldn't waste brainpower on it.
  • chevvy50
    chevvy50 Posts: 14
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    bless you dont despair ....I never stop trying every day... some days I win some I lose but I never stop....:flowerforyou: this is your time no one else hold your head high always someone on here to listen!!!
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    I'm 5'4", equally proportioned between legs and torso, an athletic build, I have a big old donk, red wavy hair, and green eyes. All the other women my husband dated were at least 5'7", pancake *kitten*, legs all day . . . he loves me and he's attracted to me (all the shapes and sizes I've been), but he's also attracted to that body type.

    My husband is 5'10", mostly torso (our legs are almost the same length), brown hair, green eyes. I am mostly attracted to men over 6' tall, and there is nothing in the world like a heinze 57 of exotic features on a banging body (although I'm less discerning about ethnicity). I love him and I'm attracted to him (all the shapes and sizes he's been).

    We actually have more of an issue with gaining insecurities within ourselves, finding ourselves less attractive, and then the bedroom confidence decreases.
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
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    Then he doen't like you now does he? Then why did he marry you? Wasn't it "for better or worse?"
  • TigressPat
    TigressPat Posts: 722
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    In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken. .

    recipe for disaster!
    Sure he hates looking at all women besides you. I'm sure he's never looked at porn either!
  • JessiAnn88
    JessiAnn88 Posts: 73 Member
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    Men and Women can be attracted to many, many different body types, and you can't take it personally, if I compared myself to any chick my husband found attractive or "liked" the look of I'd have too many false ideals to compare myself to. Anyone one of my husbands past girlfriends were tall, blond and skinny-dancer-type bodies, im 5'4, brown hair and 170lbs. and guess what, he's been with ME for 8 years, not those other girls. It used to make me feel insecure that I didn't look like them but I'm the one he wants to be with and that may be something I have to remind myself of time to time but it's a fact. Try to separate how you think your husband feels about your body and how he actually feels about your body. Have a conversation with him about it, be open and honest, he's your husband, he's the one you're supposed to go to about these things.
  • PhoenixJR
    PhoenixJR Posts: 32 Member
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    In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
    Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.

    Wow. You sound extremely controlling.

    There are always going to be other women out there, some of these women may work with your fiance, some may want to be friends with your fiance (assuming he is a person worth being friends with). There will always be women who are more beautiful, have better hair/skin/eyes, are thinner and more attractive than you. Unless you are Charlize Theron, somebody will be more beautiful than you.

    My partner works around women that are absolutely beautiful. He is friends with some women who are so stunningly goregeous it almost hurts to look at them. On top of that a few of them are the most sweet, kind, and just plain freaking nicest people. One in particular is also a FANTASTIC cook. I am not bothered one bit by his friendships with them.

    Why? Because he made a choice to be with me. Out of all the women he knows and is friends with, he knows or has met, he chose me to be with. Could it be my super curly hair and death-pale skin? Or my boring grey eyes? Could it be my personality and sense of humor? I have no idea. I'm not going to question it.

    He knows the rules - one strike and you are out. If I ever find out he cheated on me, I will leave him in two seconds. I am not afraid of being alone, and that is the price he would have to pay if he violated my trust. This will never happen. I trust him entirely. He is an adult an I am not going to police his actions and mandate who he can and cannot be friends with.

    Grow up. I bet you go through his phone too. That sort of behavior is wrong and extremely unnatractive.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    In my personal relationship, my fiancé isn't friends with other girls and he doesn't like other pictures of other girls. He knows that would piss me off and I would be broken.
    Does your husband not understand that you're lost and hurt? Can you talk to him about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing to your already low self esteem. You're beautiful and he would be lucky to have a woman like you! Remember that.

    this is ridiculous. I want a husband, not someone I need to control to satisfy my own insecurities.

    Anyways. I suggest you go to his profile and check which of his status updates you are receiving. That way, he can look at the women he'll never have, and you wont know it. you probably have his comments and likes selected so they are staying in your newsfeed, for your own sanity woman change it today!

    With that said, I am 31 I had 2 kids. I KNOW my body is not what my husband wants. But I'm not doing this for him, I'm doing it for me.
  • nine2481
    nine2481 Posts: 115 Member
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    First things first . . . You're beautiful and unique no matter how you look. Looks are important but not so important that nothing else matters ! You're feelings are natural and many people feel the same way you do about themselves so hold your chin high, smile wide and never give up. You CAN DO THIS - Hugs : Levi Lancaster
  • Lt_Starbuck
    Lt_Starbuck Posts: 576 Member
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    you have no idea what shape your body will have at it's best or even on the way to it. If you cover your nutrition/weights/cardio/rest/flexibility all evenly, you are well on your way.

    As far as your husband not liking your body - here's a gift of a clue.

    If you love your body, so will he. If you hate your body, especially out loud, you will convince him it's true or that he should too. men love a woman who is happy in her skin. Don't hate your body so much. It's your best friend and it carries you everywhere. love her. make her the best she can be, and dont stay so stuck in your head or it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    good luck!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Losing my will to lose weight feeling depresses s and unmotivated...can't help but feel I've already lost the war before th battle. Don't know what to do...I think my husband is ino different female body types than mine.

    you think? why dont you ask him, and then you will know for sure?
  • jenniferlcrumb
    jenniferlcrumb Posts: 20 Member
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    I just assume that my boyfriend likes other body types besides mine. He's a man. That's natural. Sometimes when we watch TV together we'll ask each other if we think a certain actor/actress is attractive and I am often surprised by his responses - because some of the women look nothing like me. :smile: But they aren't sitting next to him, and they never will be. Just like Mark Wahlberg will never be sitting next to me. :ohwell:

    Unless your husband comes right out and says, "Honey, I am not attracted to your body type," then try to understand that you may be overreacting to your own insecurities about your body. Talk to him about it, if you want, but not in the "Am I the only woman you ever look at?" kind of discussion. Don't make him lie. All men look. And so do we.

    Yes. Yes we do.

    Just love the way you put that... it is so true and we do look, and so do they but that doesnt mean we dont love each other, it just means you have a healthy relationship and can deal with it. :) Our own self esteem can blur our judgement of what others think about us.. but unless they come out and tell you they dont like the way we look, then it is most likely all in our head!!
  • cutchro
    cutchro Posts: 396 Member
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    As a married man I encourage you to not withdraw from your husband or withhold your body from him or from him seeing it. Guys are visually stimulated we want to see. If you don't let him see he may be tempted to look for it elsewhere. We also don't understand when our wives withdraw from us because of their own perceived flaws. We don't see those flaws. If your not happy with your weight than use that as motivation to change. Don't project your insecurities onto him, that's not fair to him.

    Nicely said. :happy:
  • NatalieHassett
    NatalieHassett Posts: 26 Member
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    You should have an open and honest conversation with him. Communication is key.
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
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    I don't project annoying o. To him I have a little more self esteem than that....it's not my fault that these pictures of females that he likes keep appearing in my news feed...I'm doing it for myself don't let that fool you but it doesn't help that I'm not getting the emotional support that I need...smh it's hard to explain its one of those things where you would have to walk in my shoes to understand... Just need to know it there's a light at the end of the tunnel

    If you can't explain it, it is most likely because you are reading into/ projecting your own insecurities.

    "Projecting" means that when he looks at you, you assume he is seeing your flaws; when he looks at pictures, you assume he prefers that. You take your own opinions of your body and assumes he has the same opinions.
  • ladybrown4
    ladybrown4 Posts: 2
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    lets keep on track someone will notice that hot body :)

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