IRL vs. Internet relationships

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jbutterflye
jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
in Chit-Chat
How do you view these? What's the same & what's different about them, to you? (besides the obvious)

Do you view internet relationships as relationships at all?

Let's discuss.
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  • Grundle_Raspberries
    Grundle_Raspberries Posts: 94
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  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    *Not in before the animated gifs :( *

    I think you can "meet" people with common likes and dislikes through the Internet, but you will never understand the nuances of them or their real persona with spend face-to-face time.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    I do view internet relationships are 'real' relationships. However, there is something about being physically in someone's presence that changes how we interact and relate. So while they are real, the friends I can see and touch always take priority over the friends whom I only know online.

    Maybe that sounds a bit harsh?

    As for RELATIONSHIPS, as in romantic relationships, I think it's a tricky place to go. I understand that you can love someone you're not attracted to but I prefer to meet the person face to face before I call it a 'relationship'. I've met many fellows online who seemed fine but in person we had absolutely no chemistry and the things that were 'cute' online were just irritating in person.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    Let's ask Te'o
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    I consider most of my online friends (at least in my journaling community) to be closer than most of the people in my real life.

    That said, a romantic relationship that's solely online? No, that's not going to work. Too much room for unrealistic fantasy to be sustainable in the long run.
  • TheKeithEllis
    TheKeithEllis Posts: 155 Member
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    I met my wife indirectly through internet dating - long story, but I had met someone locally to me and was about to unsub from a dating site I was on. Having gotten to know a few people on a chat level I went back in one last time to say goodbye and there was a solitary person on there with no clue what she was doing there and what she was supposed to do! She'd signed up on behalf of a friend and got nosy! LOL :O) We ended up exchanging emails and the rest is 7 years together and 4 years married with two kids. :O)
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
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    I have a very dear friend who lives in Australia and I've never met her in person, but we've been friends for years and write to each other regularly. Would it be the same in person? I have no idea what would change, but it seems that writing is a good way for us to communicate and be there for each other.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
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    I wouldn't like a long-distance relationship. I need the touch, and I've got a pretty active sex drive. It seems strange to me to actually choose such a complicated relationship, seems more painful than anything else.
    But to each their own.

    As for non-romantic relationships: I think you can be good friends on the internet without even meeting each other, but still it's not the same. That other person can't take part in your daily activities and it's very limited. You can have a really wonderful and open friendship. Still I think it's not the same.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
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    As far as a long distance romantic internet relationship, no I wouldn't have one. No problem with friendships, but romance has to be on all levels or else nothing.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
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    I have a very dear friend who lives in Australia and I've never met her in person, but we've been friends for years and write to each other regularly. Would it be the same in person? I have no idea what would change, but it seems that writing is a good way for us to communicate and be there for each other.

    I originally met my wife online (old USENET days), but we didn't become a couple until long after we met in person a couple of times. These meetings were just loosely organized meet-ups for the Usenet groups we posted too, so even then we weren't meeting to become a couple.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
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    I have a very dear friend who lives in Australia and I've never met her in person, but we've been friends for years and write to each other regularly. Would it be the same in person? I have no idea what would change, but it seems that writing is a good way for us to communicate and be there for each other.

    I originally met my wife online (old USENET days), but we didn't become a couple until long after we met in person a couple of times. These meetings were just loosely organized meet-ups for the Usenet groups we posted too, so even then we weren't meeting to become a couple.

    That's great! I met my husband online too, turned out we lived in the same small town and had some friends in common. My divorce was finalizing at the time and I was totally not looking for another serious relationship, just in the mood for some fun, but then I guess love strikes when you least expect it. We were engaged 3 weeks after our 1st date and married about 2 months after that. Been together 14+ years now.
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
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    Back in my younger days, when I was young and stupid instead of just old and stupid, I did all sorts of internet dating. The girls that said "yes" to a meet-up rather quickly were good for maybe 1 or 2 things. Thankfully, they weren't looking for anything more than I was, which was fine by me. I was also pretty clear about my intentions. I remember one girl who.....yeah, she was awesome.

    So yes, I'm in favor of it.
  • kennie2
    kennie2 Posts: 1,171 Member
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    Me and my current partner met online and stayed very close for about 2 years with about 1 hour long phone calls every night and now we've been together irl for just over half a year and things are working out really good. so yeah i think relationships can start out easily online and then turn into real things.

    Friend wise I think its even easier to make friends with someone online and stay friends than dating as you can just talk to them about anything however its also very important to have actual life friends
  • KeriAnn06
    KeriAnn06 Posts: 49 Member
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    Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.

    I think the majority of people are online for some reason or another.... We're not all crazy! Lol.
  • imakimm
    imakimm Posts: 839
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    I met my husband through myspace when myspace was big. We were friends for a year chatting online, on the phone and through texts. He only lived a few towns over but I always made excuses when he wanted to meet. Eventually, my friends thought I was crazy talking to him for so long and not meeting him since we lived so close. I finally agreed and things went great. After meeting and hanging out for a bit we began a relationship. We eventually moved in together and have been married for 5 years.

    I don't think I would be able to be in a romantic relationship online but for friends it's fine. I have a few online friends that I have never met but talk to through email and facebook.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.

    You're on the internet....
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.

    You're on the internet....

    Exactly .
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.

    You're on the internet....

    Exactly .

    :} Dork.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
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    Once, I was chatting with a woman that I met through a website we both participated on, and we "clicked" online in friendship and began emailing regularly. Turned out we lived only about an hour away from each other, which was a huge coincidence as the site had people on it from around the world. After a while I suggested we meet in person but she backed away and was against it. I think after that something began to change, as there was a level that she couldn't get past and I was much more open. We eventually stopped communicating.

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