IRL vs. Internet relationships

jbutterflye
jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
in Chit-Chat
How do you view these? What's the same & what's different about them, to you? (besides the obvious)

Do you view internet relationships as relationships at all?

Let's discuss.
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Replies

  • Grundle_Raspberries
    Grundle_Raspberries Posts: 94
    tumblr_m8d9d1yPmv1qi7ul8o1_500.gif
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    *Not in before the animated gifs :( *

    I think you can "meet" people with common likes and dislikes through the Internet, but you will never understand the nuances of them or their real persona with spend face-to-face time.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    I do view internet relationships are 'real' relationships. However, there is something about being physically in someone's presence that changes how we interact and relate. So while they are real, the friends I can see and touch always take priority over the friends whom I only know online.

    Maybe that sounds a bit harsh?

    As for RELATIONSHIPS, as in romantic relationships, I think it's a tricky place to go. I understand that you can love someone you're not attracted to but I prefer to meet the person face to face before I call it a 'relationship'. I've met many fellows online who seemed fine but in person we had absolutely no chemistry and the things that were 'cute' online were just irritating in person.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
    Let's ask Te'o
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I consider most of my online friends (at least in my journaling community) to be closer than most of the people in my real life.

    That said, a romantic relationship that's solely online? No, that's not going to work. Too much room for unrealistic fantasy to be sustainable in the long run.
  • TheKeithEllis
    TheKeithEllis Posts: 155 Member
    I met my wife indirectly through internet dating - long story, but I had met someone locally to me and was about to unsub from a dating site I was on. Having gotten to know a few people on a chat level I went back in one last time to say goodbye and there was a solitary person on there with no clue what she was doing there and what she was supposed to do! She'd signed up on behalf of a friend and got nosy! LOL :O) We ended up exchanging emails and the rest is 7 years together and 4 years married with two kids. :O)
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I have a very dear friend who lives in Australia and I've never met her in person, but we've been friends for years and write to each other regularly. Would it be the same in person? I have no idea what would change, but it seems that writing is a good way for us to communicate and be there for each other.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    I wouldn't like a long-distance relationship. I need the touch, and I've got a pretty active sex drive. It seems strange to me to actually choose such a complicated relationship, seems more painful than anything else.
    But to each their own.

    As for non-romantic relationships: I think you can be good friends on the internet without even meeting each other, but still it's not the same. That other person can't take part in your daily activities and it's very limited. You can have a really wonderful and open friendship. Still I think it's not the same.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    As far as a long distance romantic internet relationship, no I wouldn't have one. No problem with friendships, but romance has to be on all levels or else nothing.
  • jnichel
    jnichel Posts: 4,553 Member
    I have a very dear friend who lives in Australia and I've never met her in person, but we've been friends for years and write to each other regularly. Would it be the same in person? I have no idea what would change, but it seems that writing is a good way for us to communicate and be there for each other.

    I originally met my wife online (old USENET days), but we didn't become a couple until long after we met in person a couple of times. These meetings were just loosely organized meet-ups for the Usenet groups we posted too, so even then we weren't meeting to become a couple.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I have a very dear friend who lives in Australia and I've never met her in person, but we've been friends for years and write to each other regularly. Would it be the same in person? I have no idea what would change, but it seems that writing is a good way for us to communicate and be there for each other.

    I originally met my wife online (old USENET days), but we didn't become a couple until long after we met in person a couple of times. These meetings were just loosely organized meet-ups for the Usenet groups we posted too, so even then we weren't meeting to become a couple.

    That's great! I met my husband online too, turned out we lived in the same small town and had some friends in common. My divorce was finalizing at the time and I was totally not looking for another serious relationship, just in the mood for some fun, but then I guess love strikes when you least expect it. We were engaged 3 weeks after our 1st date and married about 2 months after that. Been together 14+ years now.
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    Back in my younger days, when I was young and stupid instead of just old and stupid, I did all sorts of internet dating. The girls that said "yes" to a meet-up rather quickly were good for maybe 1 or 2 things. Thankfully, they weren't looking for anything more than I was, which was fine by me. I was also pretty clear about my intentions. I remember one girl who.....yeah, she was awesome.

    So yes, I'm in favor of it.
  • kennie2
    kennie2 Posts: 1,170 Member
    Me and my current partner met online and stayed very close for about 2 years with about 1 hour long phone calls every night and now we've been together irl for just over half a year and things are working out really good. so yeah i think relationships can start out easily online and then turn into real things.

    Friend wise I think its even easier to make friends with someone online and stay friends than dating as you can just talk to them about anything however its also very important to have actual life friends
  • KeriAnn06
    KeriAnn06 Posts: 49 Member
    Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.

    I think the majority of people are online for some reason or another.... We're not all crazy! Lol.
  • imakimm
    imakimm Posts: 839
    I met my husband through myspace when myspace was big. We were friends for a year chatting online, on the phone and through texts. He only lived a few towns over but I always made excuses when he wanted to meet. Eventually, my friends thought I was crazy talking to him for so long and not meeting him since we lived so close. I finally agreed and things went great. After meeting and hanging out for a bit we began a relationship. We eventually moved in together and have been married for 5 years.

    I don't think I would be able to be in a romantic relationship online but for friends it's fine. I have a few online friends that I have never met but talk to through email and facebook.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.

    You're on the internet....
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.

    You're on the internet....

    Exactly .
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    Not going to happen everyone on the Internet is Crazy.

    You're on the internet....

    Exactly .

    :} Dork.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    Once, I was chatting with a woman that I met through a website we both participated on, and we "clicked" online in friendship and began emailing regularly. Turned out we lived only about an hour away from each other, which was a huge coincidence as the site had people on it from around the world. After a while I suggested we meet in person but she backed away and was against it. I think after that something began to change, as there was a level that she couldn't get past and I was much more open. We eventually stopped communicating.
  • AlanTuring
    AlanTuring Posts: 159
    I met my fiancee on the Internet back in like 2005 or so. She's from NC and I'm from NorCal, but we eventually ended up meeting enough times to know that we had some real chemistry and I actually ended up moving out here about 3 years ago, after she'd lived with me out there for a year. It's definitely difficult and not for everyone, but it can work if both parties are pretty well dedicated.

    As far as friendships, I've had some very close online friendships, or at least I'd like to think so.
    Once, I was chatting with a woman that I met through a website we both participated on, and we "clicked" online in friendship and began emailing regularly. Turned out we lived only about an hour away from each other, which was a huge coincidence as the site had people on it from around the world. After a while I suggested we meet in person but she backed away and was against it. I think after that something began to change, as there was a level that she couldn't get past and I was much more open. We eventually stopped communicating.
    This is always really sad, and it kinda baffles me. I know there are Te'o situations and all that **** that goes down, of course, but still - the idea that you have to be so much more cautious about people that you meet online strikes me as borderline insane. It's just another medium for communication, and doesn't change the fundamental humanity of the person underneath. I mean, yes, you should double check and verify that the person is real with things like phone calls and all that, and make sure you meet somewhere bright and public just in case you need to scream and run, but other than that...
  • crawford4398
    crawford4398 Posts: 441 Member
    Crazy thought here, But had to comment, I totally see the aspect of Online dating as Creepy, But at the same time, i have also been on the Other side , and Experienced a very Real Relationship online. Honestly you dont know who they are, still your true colors will come out after day to day chatting, and other Fun Activities, so i say Play it safe, check their sources and KNOW your limits. Is not my Favorite and Perfect idea, i but it is Possible !! Let me also add that once you Truly get involved you will also Truly Feel the Pain, and Mourning after its over just like All relationships. This is Not and Open invitation for interest. I think i am Still Taken . LOL
  • AngelicxAnnihilation
    AngelicxAnnihilation Posts: 336 Member
    I met my best friend/fiancé on Xbox haha. He's in NY and I'm in Canada but we're only about 4 hours apart. We see each other a few times a year and hang out online all the time so it's working really well for us. I like online better because if you don't rush things and decide after a month omg I love you forever lets get married tomorrow, you can actually learn about the person and their true colours show because you're forced to get to know the person. Which I've never been able to have in an IRL relationship. Also with an online relationship and not going out and spending my money all the time I actually found out who my true friends were.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    My MFP friends are 100x better then my IRL real life friends.


    & that's no *kitten*
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
    My MFP friends are 100x better then my IRL real life friends.


    & that's no *kitten*

    agreed x 1000.

    oh crap I hope my real life friends don't read this :tongue:
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    My MFP friends are 100x better then my IRL real life friends.


    & that's no *kitten*

    agreed x 1000.

    oh crap I hope my real life friends don't read this :tongue:

    Until we meet up. :drinker:


    Btw, I expect cake vodka.
  • linxus
    linxus Posts: 87
    Me and my boyfriend of two years were online for 6 months, before meeting. Same personalities in person. Love eachother just as much, if not more. Best thing that ever happened to me. Met him through a mutual online friend.
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
    My MFP friends are 100x better then my IRL real life friends.


    & that's no *kitten*

    agreed x 1000.

    oh crap I hope my real life friends don't read this :tongue:

    Until we meet up. :drinker:


    Btw, I expect cake vodka.
    DEAL :flowerforyou:
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    My MFP friends are 100x better then my IRL real life friends.


    & that's no *kitten*

    ^this. Also, online relationships don't always stay online. I've met a few of my MFP friends IRL and they have become some of my closest friends.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    Once, I was chatting with a woman that I met through a website we both participated on, and we "clicked" online in friendship and began emailing regularly. Turned out we lived only about an hour away from each other, which was a huge coincidence as the site had people on it from around the world. After a while I suggested we meet in person but she backed away and was against it. I think after that something began to change, as there was a level that she couldn't get past and I was much more open. We eventually stopped communicating.
    This is always really sad, and it kinda baffles me. I know there are Te'o situations and all that **** that goes down, of course, but still - the idea that you have to be so much more cautious about people that you meet online strikes me as borderline insane. It's just another medium for communication, and doesn't change the fundamental humanity of the person underneath. I mean, yes, you should double check and verify that the person is real with things like phone calls and all that, and make sure you meet somewhere bright and public just in case you need to scream and run, but other than that...

    Yes, I found it rather sad. This woman and I had chatted online for months, then went on to phone conversations that lasted for weeks. She even sent me a lovely birthday present. I think she had an irrational fear. But the thing is that the relationship reached a natural level where meeting in person, under those circumstances, was the next thing. It was after all an uncanny coincidence that we lived so close to one another. And the window of opportunity presented itself and she just couldn't make the leap. And then the window began to close and the energy died. Sad.

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