Dealing with an unsupportive husband

Congrats on the 15lb loss.

I've learnt that you can make them do it if they are not ready. For me the trigger was when my cloths didn't fit and the thought of going up another size was too much.

I also stuggled initially because my wife was not interested in loosing weight. However after been asked 1 too many times if she was pregnant (when she wasn't) she signed up to a weight loss program and we have both lost over 8kgs each in the first 12 weeks.

I know its hard on your own to do this but keep trting and hopefully one day he will join in. I guess if you only give him good food at home at least it is a step in the right direction.

Good luck

I agree that you can't make him do it. It is something he has to do when HE is ready - just as its a journey you embarked on because YOU were ready.

In the meantime i would imagine some of your new healthier habits will rub off on him - healthier meals (if you are the cook), healthier snacks available in the house, going on walks with you (when he does) etc.

Just keep doing what you are doing for you and hope that soon he will make that same decision for himself.

And well done on the weight loss so far

My in-laws spent about 2 years bringing up our weight every time we saw them. They bought us a membership to the Dukan Diet (*shudder*) website, diet books, and oat bran. It was hurtful, and discouraging. Gain or lose, they were always telling us how "concerned" they were about our weight. I think it made them feel better about their own obesity, because we are the fattest members of the family. Losing weight was never really a choice for my husband. It felt to him like a demand, and he doesn't like demands.

Make it a choice. When my husband gets home, I have a healthy dinner waiting. If he chooses to eat crap afterward, that's his choice. I sit beside him and carefully go over my food an exercise journal- not saying anything, but clearly in his view. I have his workout video set up so that all he has to do is hit Play. I pack his lunch, and hope he won't buy garbage at the gas station on his way to work. I don't drive, so he takes me to the park three nights a week to use the track. Some days, he gets bored waiting in the truck, so he walks a little.

A lot of little things add up. Mostly, it will be your success that encourages him. It won't happen at first. Just be patient with him. Let him know that he is an adult, and you are not going to make his decisions for you, but that his bad choices aren't going to influence yours.

My husband is still not with me on this journey, but at least he tries here and there. In the end, it has to be HIS choice.

It is your journey ....not his.. You will fail if you think you must drag him along. Just be an example..don't preach or push him. Just walk the walk.. and he will come around.

That's hurtful and not loving! I'm sorry, all you can do is work on you and pray for him!

My boyfriend and I began attempting to lose weight at the same time. He stopped about two months in and I've continued going. Don't let it bother you, he'll come around when he's ready. I don't tell him what he can/can't eat or bug him about going to the gym with me, I just ask if he wants to and let him do whatever he wants.

Just yesterday (for the first time since August) he went to the gym again and has been cooking a lot healthier and has decided to get back into it. Weight loss is a VERY personal thing.. sadly you can't force people to want to be healthier! Stick by his side like you have been and he'll come around eventually. Just keep working on yourself :flowerforyou:

Hi all,
This is my first post on MFP. I am 25 years old, and a mother of a 2 year old little girl and a 1 year old little boy. My life has been crazy the past couple years, and I let myself go.. MAJORLY! I ended up weighing in at my heaviest weight ever. 240 lbs. I started logging on MFP about a month ago and I am down about 15 lbs. My goal is to lose 100 lbs total.

My husband is a larger person also. We are suppose to be traveling this journey together, but I feel like I am the only one who is making an effort. He is still eating terrible food at work, and only exercises when I beg him to go on a walk with me. I am at the gym 5 days a week, I eat clean, and I still manage to take care of my kids all day every day.

It is truly hurting me that my husband is not ready to make a life style change. I was hoping that as he got in to better shape, he would become more confident and that would help our marriage in certain ways.. (wink wink.. nudge nudge) Instead, I am left on this journey alone, and honestly at the end of the day, it would feel good to just hear him say that I am beautiful and that he is proud of me.

Sorry for my sob story. I just felt that maybe some of you could relate.

I'm in the same boat. I say just keep going and maybe when he sees the changes in you he'll finally decide he wants it too. They have to WANT to do it for themself before they will really commit to going all the way. Hang in there & don't let it discourage your weight loss goals!! : )

I can relate to your struggle too. I have been on so many diets and failed that my husband feels like unless I ever get past 20 pounds lost he doesn't think I will be successful. He says he doesn't want me to feel bad if I don't succeed. Well I don't every get past the 20 and of course, I blame him because he didn't support me. I have come to finally realize that as I change, my husband and others notice. When I stopped waiting for my husband's encouragement and stopped trying to get him to do what I'm doing........ that's when I realized that God has got it ALL under control. I've lost only 13 pounds since I started MFP and Curves (about 3 weeks) but I haven't been obsessed with food and have been so much happier too!!!! My husband is not a mushy guy but he has been soooooo sweet and encouraging. I have to keep being reminded that God can do so much when I get outa the way. I am so glad I still love my husband!! LOL I hope this makes sense. I am rambling but I felt led to share.

I just joined MVP the other week but I have been working on my weight for over 2 years. At first my husband was not crazy about the changes plus wanted to keep eating all his usual foods.
In time and after he saw the results I was having he became more interested in making changes for himself.
Weight loss is such an emotional journey, you have enough to do working on your own. He will have to be the one to work on his.
I buy healthy food for us but I also buy some junky food for my husband. He still does well, he's lost quite a bit of weight and has gotten healthier.
I guess I just wanted to say that even if you are not getting the support right now, it's very possible that later down the road you will.