Self-Sabotage...Why Am I Doing It?

You know, I have been there also, lost some weight, and then for some reason, go back to the old habits and then the weight comes back. I have recently started Yoga classes - beginner classes, as I am new to this - and I find that the total inward reflection on your body and how awesome it is and how hard it works for you can totally give you the peace and calm you need to stay focused on the goal that you have set for yourself. Also, I think it teaches you to not be so hard on yourself, just get up and go again. Good luck to you and I am sure you will get it back on track.

It happens. Previously mentioned, but you writing this now and realizing that this is a problem for you is a key step. Now that you're aware, before you're about to sabotage (eat junk, stop your exercise routine, etc) think about what you're doing and ask yourself why you're doing it. If you don't know the answer, at least stopping to think about it for a second might help you make a better choice before you go for that bag of chips or decide you're not going to exercise that day.

As you can see you are not alone in this. I fall right into this category too. In fact, reading your blog sounds like a page from my life.

While I am not anywhere near my goal weight, I am making small changes. One of the things that has really helped me change my way of thinking and from focusing on the negative is setting new exercise goals. After rejecting the idea of running my entire life I started running at the age of 42. First goal was a 10K, then a mud run, then a half marathon... Once I finished a goal it was on to the next goal. If I allow myself to feel, "Oh, I did that, I can hang it all up now" then I fall right back into the same habits of poor eating, sitting around instead of pounding the pavement, etc. You accomplished your 63 mile walk, how about another walk or a 5K, 10K, 15K, half marathon, marathon to keep yourself focused? I'm trying to run some sort of race every couple of months to keep focused on moving, meeting new people, and having fun while doing it. For me moving also keeps my focus on eating better because it is much easier to run at a lower weight than to carry the weight with you.

I also think, in my case, that I use the weight to protect myself a bit. I've found that I like to disappear into the background and losing weight and being thin brings too much attention to myself. Any attention where I feel people examine me makes me really uncomfortable so I hide myself in a nice insulated wrapping of fat to protect me from scrutiny. Something I'm working on but it is hard because everyone judges you when they see you wether you are thin or overweight. However, for me, even being miserable overweight is far easier because I am mostly ignored and left alone than having any real positive attention on myself. Writing that makes me sound really screwed up I realize but it is true. I feel safer overweight even though I can't stand how I look. I know this isn't sounding incredibly encouraging but I've recognized these feelings so that is a step in the right direction and I can honestly say that every time I complete a goal I feel stronger and better about myself.

I wish you luck on your journey and hope you find something that works for you.

Man. If someone could figure out why we self-sabotage, NO ONE would be overweight. NO ONE.

I think everyone's done this at some point. I've been trying to lose the perimenopausal pudge for five years now, and I'm trying to figure out why I haven't fallen off the fitness wagon yet - my tendency is to do really well for, oh, say, 19 consecutive weeks and then all of a sudden just. stop. going to the gym. I just completed Week 23, and am hoping to keep on going.

It happens - but I think the good thing is you learn to recognize the pattern and you tend to get back on track FASTER. The first time you stop eating healthy and stop exercising, maybe it takes a few months to get back on track. The next time, a few weeks, and gradually, gradually maybe you'll figure out what the derailing factor is and avoid it all together???

One thing that appears to be helping me is better data. I got a Fitbit and I'm using it and MFP and a heart-rate monitor so I can't fool myself into thinking I ate less or worked out more than I actually did. I'm also trying to listen to my emotional reactions to losing weight. And I got my husband to workout with me so we keep each other accountable.

I do think there's a psychological component to all of this.

Today is the first day I've exercised in a week, but even before that, my exercise routine has been practically non-existent.

But this is where you are doing things right. You've recognized the problem, are taking steps to rectify it, and are able to piece together what happened so that you don't do it again.

All in all, I'd call this a win.

This. You know why you're doing it you like most people (even me and I've been on the planet a lot longer) are afraid to have nothing to hold them back or believe is holding them back. You're doing great and you're still here so I agree A WIN! Looks like you are going to break the cycle :flowerforyou:

Totally normal to have a rebound after a period of deprivation, especially if it's extended, or if the deficit was too big. Don't stress about it. You haven't ruined anything. Eat at maintenance for a few weeks, and maybe go back to a smaller deficit.

Hi .. Maybe you are rewarding yourself with food (subconsciously) for a job well done. This is how many of us end up yoyoing . The greatest thing is that you are aware of the sabotage and yes you can fix it. You can do it , thank you for sharing

What else was going on? This wasn't about you just seeing you were close to your goal and deciding to sabotage yourself, really? What other factors were involved? Mood? An outside event? Feeling you had lost control of something else?

Think about the awareness of how you feel, what you're eating, and what you're doing, not the weight or the goal. The real goal is to create that awareness for yourself.