At what point does weight become unattractive?

vikkistarr89
vikkistarr89 Posts: 122 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I was involved in a debate about this the other night and I am interested to know what everyone else thinks?

Especially for women, most men tend to say that a UK size 12-14 is generally the point where a women is attractive and 'curvy' but not fat. I pointed out to him that I was a size 10-12 (US Size 8-10) (I'm 5'4') and he looked me up and down, grimaced (haha), and then said 'Well.... i'd say you were borderline'.

I am definitely not one of those 'big is beautiful' people, my opinion is that it is human insinct to be attracted to people that look healthy and overweight people do not eat right or exercise, therefore they are not.

But I digress. Anyway, I am interest to find out *honest* opinions, at what point does your size make you unattractive?
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Replies

  • osualex
    osualex Posts: 409 Member
    It's different for every person. A very tall person could probably easily pull off a size 16 (US) but a very short person may not look so good in a 10. Height, bone structure, and muscle mass make a big difference. For me personally, the maximum size I feel I look okay in is a 12, and I'm 5'4. I look a whole lot better in an 8/10 though.
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    each person finds something different attractive, so this is an impossible question to put a definitive answer to.
  • omma_to_3
    omma_to_3 Posts: 3,265 Member
    overweight people do not eat right or exercise, therefore they are not. [healthy]

    Well there's a bunch of crap. I'm overweight, eat well and exercise a lot. I'm very healthy.

    And there are lots of people that are attracted to a person regardless of their weight.
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,257 Member
    As many variables as there are people.
  • vanguardfitness
    vanguardfitness Posts: 720 Member
    At the point where you can't see any kind of muscular definition anywhere.
  • dovetail22uk
    dovetail22uk Posts: 339 Member
    All I can say is your friend sounds like a douche for saying that!
  • vikkistarr89
    vikkistarr89 Posts: 122 Member
    overweight people do not eat right or exercise, therefore they are not. [healthy]

    Well there's a bunch of crap. I'm overweight, eat well and exercise a lot. I'm very healthy.

    And there are lots of people that are attracted to a person regardless of their weight.

    You've taken what i've said completely out of context.

    You may be technically overweight but most of the weight could be muscle mass.
  • omma_to_3
    omma_to_3 Posts: 3,265 Member
    overweight people do not eat right or exercise, therefore they are not. [healthy]

    Well there's a bunch of crap. I'm overweight, eat well and exercise a lot. I'm very healthy.

    And there are lots of people that are attracted to a person regardless of their weight.

    You've taken what i've said completely out of context.

    You may be technically overweight but most of the weight could be muscle mass.

    I assure you, it's not mostly muscle. I didn't take what you said out of context. You clearly stated that overweight people don't eat right or exercise.
  • The1iceQueen
    The1iceQueen Posts: 119
    My husband has always said women can be attractive at many different weights. When there's cellulite, thats when they become less attractive physically.
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,257 Member
    overweight people do not eat right or exercise, therefore they are not. [healthy]

    Well there's a bunch of crap. I'm overweight, eat well and exercise a lot. I'm very healthy.

    And there are lots of people that are attracted to a person regardless of their weight.

    You've taken what i've said completely out of context.

    You may be technically overweight but most of the weight could be muscle mass.

    I assure you, it's not mostly muscle. I didn't take what you said out of context. You clearly stated that overweight people don't eat right or exercise.
    I didn't take it that way. To me it was that overweight people "appear" to not maintain a healthy lifestyle by not eating and exercising properly which for some people is very unattractive.
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    each person finds something different attractive, so this is an impossible question to put a definitive answer to.

    This.

    I know an abundance of men who believe bigger is more attractive and I'm certain its a cultural thing. And given that clothing sizes vary from manufacturer to manufacturer and have changed dramatically over the years, using them as a gauge makes little sense.
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
    Weight is unattractive when the person carrying it no longer feels comfortable with their size/shape.

    At various times I've been smaller than I am now (never as big as this, but different sizes of smaller:ohwell: ) but when I had to move up dress sizes and could no longer ONLY blame it on shops cutting clothes smaller, and doing up laces made me feel as if I was 6 months pregnant, I decided enough ws enough - if I don't lose it now I never will. There are many poeple around me at work bigger than me (although much younger) and many smaller than me. The ones who feel comfotable in their skins generally look more attractive than the ones who moan "I feel fat" (usually with a chocolate or doughnut in one hand).
  • vikkistarr89
    vikkistarr89 Posts: 122 Member
    I understand its different for everyone, and I used my height as an example with my weight, as height is a factor aswell.

    Another example, i'm was sitting at a bus stop about a month ago when a group of teenage boys walked past me. One of them looked at me and turned to his mates and said something like 'look at her shes fit' and another one replied 'yeah.. bit fat though'.

    People can sugarcoat it but there is a point where you look at someone and think.. yeah theyre pretty fat. So at what point is this?

    And yeah, he is kind of a douche ha ha!
  • vikkistarr89
    vikkistarr89 Posts: 122 Member
    overweight people do not eat right or exercise, therefore they are not. [healthy]

    Well there's a bunch of crap. I'm overweight, eat well and exercise a lot. I'm very healthy.

    And there are lots of people that are attracted to a person regardless of their weight.

    You've taken what i've said completely out of context.

    You may be technically overweight but most of the weight could be muscle mass.

    I assure you, it's not mostly muscle. I didn't take what you said out of context. You clearly stated that overweight people don't eat right or exercise.
    I didn't take it that way. To me it was that overweight people "appear" to not maintain a healthy lifestyle by not eating and exercising properly which for some people is very unattractive.

    And that is exactly how I meant it!

    When it comes right down to it, animal instinct is to choose the healthiest looking mate in which to bear their children. So i believe people are not attracted to generally overweight people, because they are considered to look 'unhealthy'
  • Rado_SVK
    Rado_SVK Posts: 442 Member
    Well there's a bunch of crap. I'm overweight, eat well and exercise a lot. I'm very healthy.
    Sorry but thats the most ridiculous thing Ive seen today..its like getting on a bus and half-way there say Im there!You not there yet.and the reason why Im reacting like this is cos you got but hurt over the OPs question...you said it yourself...you are overweight..you may eat healthy and exercise..but you are not healthy until you manage to reach your desired normal body weight and remain there..then you will be healthy..
  • wannatangle
    wannatangle Posts: 80 Member
    I'm thinking that a person can look pudgy at the same weight as she can look fit. I'm rethinking my weight loss goals as I am firming up. I've only lost 6 pounds but I'm down a size plus and I am starting to think I will be happy with the number on the scale as it is if I can just firm up some. For me at my height and build my limit was buying a size 10. I was not buying that size and my 8s were starting to feel way too snug. I'm very small framed. I wear a size 3-1/2 ring. Someone else my height could very well look fine that size.
  • katedevall
    katedevall Posts: 240 Member
    It varies from person to person.
    I was once a size 17 us, now I'm a size 9/10 us.
    I feel great about myself and I'm more confident. I think it's also how you present yourself too. To each their own I guess
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    I pointed out to him that I was a size 10-12 (US Size 8-10) (I'm 5'4') and he looked me up and down, grimaced (haha), and then said 'Well.... i'd say you were borderline'.

    Anyway, I am interest to find out *honest* opinions, at what point does your size make you unattractive?

    More importantly, at what point does being a complete and insufferable *kitten* make someone unattractive?
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
    I understand its different for everyone, and I used my height as an example with my weight, as height is a factor aswell.

    Another example, i'm was sitting at a bus stop about a month ago when a group of teenage boys walked past me. One of them looked at me and turned to his mates and said something like 'look at her shes fit' and another one replied 'yeah.. bit fat though'.

    People can sugarcoat it but there is a point where you look at someone and think.. yeah theyre pretty fat. So at what point is this?

    And yeah, he is kind of a douche ha ha!



    Firstly that's me in size 12 (UK) jeans, and secondly that sort of comment from the boys really irritates me. Why do people think it is ok to say this sort of thing?
    I would never say 'Oh you're ok but a bit dumb/short/poor/bald *(delete as appropriate) for me' to someone. Why is it ok to comment on a woman's looks or weight?
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    overweight people do not eat right or exercise, therefore they are not. [healthy]

    Well there's a bunch of crap. I'm overweight, eat well and exercise a lot. I'm very healthy.

    And there are lots of people that are attracted to a person regardless of their weight.

    You've taken what i've said completely out of context.

    You may be technically overweight but most of the weight could be muscle mass.

    I assure you, it's not mostly muscle. I didn't take what you said out of context. You clearly stated that overweight people don't eat right or exercise.

    Depends if you mean eat right as in eat nutritious food or eat right as in eat what your body needs to maintain an ideal weight. Eating too much of anything is not healthy whether it's Big Macs or carrots.
  • vikkistarr89
    vikkistarr89 Posts: 122 Member
    Yeah thats true, confidence is a big factor. I notice a big difference in the way people hold themselves!

    I definately agree with the person that said that muscle definition is a factor!
  • VelociMama
    VelociMama Posts: 3,119 Member
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  • ms_leanne
    ms_leanne Posts: 523 Member
    I must admit, comments from people walking past saying fit or fat or whatever I completely ignore. What is attractive to one may not be for another. Plus they tend to be a bunch of young muppets who eat crap and will lose their fast metabolisms soon enough when they hit my age.

    I've never felt comfortable in any particular size and when I was younger slim or not I still had trouble attracting men when I was out and about. Now I have met someone who loves me for me and has made me realise what a waste of time people's opinions on how you look are!
  • PaulJRaymond
    PaulJRaymond Posts: 100 Member
    Marilyn Monroe was a UK size 16. Just thought I'd throw that in there.
  • bruningfat
    bruningfat Posts: 3
    Sorry but I think the original post was correct. Obesity is not healthy. There is no way you can eat right and exercise and be fat, yet healthy. Maybe you are accepting and feel like you are contect with your weight and life style, but medically speaking, there is no healthy in being obese.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    My husband thinks the size I am now (US 4/6) is unattractive. I am pretty solidly built, I do weights 3 times a week. When I met him, I was a size 0, and the very definition of "skinny fat". He really dislikes the way I look now, but it has more to do with the fact that I look too big to him because my body has filled out. He likes the starving/frail look. It's all opinion, I don't think you're going to get a satisfactory answer to your question.
  • jml_25
    jml_25 Posts: 18 Member
    that is not completely true either. I am pretty overweight and very healthy. My blood pressure is rarely over 110/65 and most of the time less. I get blood work every year and come back with perfect sugar, cholesterol, and blood cells. Every once in awhile I will be low on iron but not enough to concern my dr. (while preggo though I have to take iron supp) So you can be healthy and overweight. I joined the Army and was considered overweight for height/weight. They did measurements and figured by body fat % I was indeed within the limits and I went on to boot camp and rocked it! I could do 98 sit ups in 2 mins when req was only 53. I could do 45 push ups in 2 mins when req were only 19. I couldn't run worth crap though. If you are short and very muscular you can have a overweight bmi
  • watcheronthewall
    watcheronthewall Posts: 104
    Actually different cultures differ on this and so it's not really a nature but a nurture thing. For example, the underlying assumption in the West is slimmer = better health and therefore people tend to be more attracted to smaller sizes. That's without even getting started on the media's influence on the whole thing.

    I think judging a woman by her size or dress size is incredibly sexist.
  • carmelstsurin
    carmelstsurin Posts: 4 Member
    What kind of metrics are you using to say that? If her cholesterol, blood pressure, level of overall fitness ( how long she can run without stopping, or how many flights of steps before she's out of breath) is pretty good, and she is just 20 lbs away from her goal, how can you say she's not healthy? There are athletes who are considered overweight in our bmi metrics but are very obviously not. This reaction reflects this one size fits all bmi that is sometimes erroneous. My ex bf is body builder and his doctor looked at his lean muscular body that is flexible and strong and she told him he was borderline obese. That's ridiculous.
  • now_or_never13
    now_or_never13 Posts: 1,575 Member
    Obviously it is different for everyone. However, with the way the world is now anything over a size like 8 is considered too big due to the media. The ideal of an attractive woman has changed a lot over the years and is different with different cultures.

    One thing I have learned though is that if you are confident in yourself regardless of your size, you will be much more attractive even if you are larger.

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